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From Part 5:Clark was back in her life now, though. He loved her. And she loved him. And they were at the start - or what could be - of what she’d been looking for all those years. She wouldn’t lose anything if Lex let her go. Quite the opposite. She would win the unselfish love of a man who was decent, caring, honest, and everything she had ever dreamed of.
Lex was looking at her expectantly, and she nodded to the bathroom. She didn’t need to say anything. She knew that by the time she came out, he would be in bed and waiting for her. He would expect her to be responsive to his passion. She could only hope he would make it quick and return to his own bed.
*********Part 6:Away from her husband’s gaze, Lois gave in to a shudder. Her mind blank and somewhat clouded by the one glass of wine she’d drunk - she didn’t remember that Bourgogne Blanc being so strong - she took her time as she washed and changed into one of her silk nightgowns. She didn’t own any of the cotton pyjamas she had regularly worn as a single woman; somehow it had seemed wrong to appear in front of Lex in anything but her best, and so she’d ditched that part of her wardrobe before their wedding.
Tonight, though, she longed for the comfortable nightwear she’d thrown away without a second glance. It wouldn’t be as revealing as the black nightie she was wearing now. On the other hand, the expensive lingerie looked like something out of a fairy tale book, and sometimes it felt like a disguise. In a way, it revealed less about her than shorts and a baggy t-shirt would.
She looked at the bathroom door, behind which her husband was probably settling down in her bed and waiting for her. In a few minutes, his hands would caress her body, his lips would close over hers, and he would claim what their marriage entitled him to.
Another shudder.
The children conversation had unsettled her. She’d always tried to ignore that part of their marriage, and since Lex hadn’t said anything about it, she’d assumed - wrongly - that he wasn’t particularly interested in children either. His professional life was as full as hers. But then, he’d done nothing but try to convince her to quit her job. Did he expect her to stay home and care for a brat while he brought money into the bank account? Well, he had another think coming!
Her head was spinning. Her legs felt like cotton wool. She grasped the edges of the sink and gritted her teeth. She was *not* going to let him have his way with her, either tonight or tomorrow or at any other time in the future. She was getting out of this marriage *now*. Tonight.
Sleeping with Lex would feel like cheating on Clark. Cheating on *herself*, too. She bit her lip and held back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. She was not going to cry. Lex would detect any hint of weakness in her, and use it to turn her arguments against her. He’d tell her that she was too tired to think clearly, that she’d lost her mind, that divorce was not a decision you made overnight, that she was still upset over David’s death...
In truth, Lex’s words to her tonight had thrown her off balance. For the first time since their wedding, she’d felt fear at being next to him. There had been something different about his voice and the way he looked at her. Something colder. Something... almost cruel.
They’d had a fight, she told herself for the umpteenth time. They’d had a fight and he’d been angry. He’d wanted to hurt her, and he’d succeeded. What he wanted them to do was a peace-offering, she supposed.
Not that she cared. She wasn’t going to give him what he wanted.
Trembling, she sat on the edge of the large tub and fisted her hands in her hair. She knew what to expect once the words were out of her mouth. His face would twist with contempt. He’d demand one last night with her. And what if he didn’t let her go? Would she find the strength to run away?
God. She was really getting paranoid. Weariness assailed her. She should feel angry. She should revolt against a marriage that hadn’t brought her any of the happiness she’d expected. Her mind was blank but for the shudder that ran down her spine every time he touched her.
She shook herself. She didn’t want to let her sudden fear of her husband’s reactions take over. She was going to be okay. She was going to spill the words out to him, and let him deal with it.
Then she would be free. Free to fly back to Paris. Free to enjoy her budding relationship with Clark.
Free.
She gave herself a moment to savour this new feeling. She hadn’t been truly free in so many months.
She wasn’t free yet. Lex was waiting for her behind that door, expecting her to behave like the wife she still was.
Time for a reality check.
For both of them.
Coming out of the bathroom was much harder than she’d expected, though. Thinking long and hard about what she was going to say was fine and dandy, but letting the words come out of her mouth was another business entirely.
She stood up and grabbed the edge of the shower stall to steady herself as her head spun again. She took a deep breath and opened the door...
... and gasped.
The room had been plunged into darkness, except for a row of candles burning on the dresser, and a couple on the nightstands. Soft classical music was playing in the background... Chopin. She’d always loved his piano sonatas. The mellow feeling was shaken off as quickly as it appeared.
She steeled her resolve.
Lex was on the bed, one of his silk robes wrapped loosely around him. Her gaze rested on his face. He looked peaceful... in control... and there was a gleam of desire in his eyes.
She shivered.
His fingers were tracing mysterious patterns on the duvet, but his eyes kept roaming her body, making her feel naked and vulnerable. She hated feeling vulnerable. She had to be strong tonight, especially if she was going to fight this battle.
Steel her resolve. She *had* to steel her resolve.
She couldn’t remember the last time they’d made love. Lex didn’t seem to find much sexual interest in her. Not that this was new to her; she’d never had a partner who expressed any eagerness about being with her.
Except for Clark.
Well, then again, they’d made love only once. It had been the best experience of her life, and he’d seemed to enjoy it as much as she had, too. In fact, she *knew* for a fact that he’d enjoyed it. The gleam of desire had never left his eyes, even afterwards.
The same gleam of desire that was now shining in Lex’s eyes.
Steel. Her. Resolve.
She’d never cared much for Lex’s seductions anyway. The quicker it was, the better she felt. He was probably a good lover. In fact, if she was honest, he had to be the best one she’d had - until last week. Not that she’d be heard admitting it on death row. It didn’t matter anyway. It had never mattered. She hadn’t married Lex for his qualities as a lover. In fact, she’d done her best to avoid thinking about it during their engagement. She’d even requested that they waited until their wedding night, convincing Lex - and herself - that it would be more special then.
Was Lex trying to make tonight special? Whatever for? And why was her heart beating so loudly?
“What’s the occasion?”
“Your return to Metropolis, my love.” His voice turned husky. “Your return to me.” He beckoned her to the bed, and she started to obey.
Her knees felt weak. Her heart was pounding. Her hands were trembling uncontrollably. Oh, God.
She was *not* going to give in.
Changing course, she stumbled over to the dresser. The flames of the candles burning there flickered at her approach, and she stood still for a few seconds, her back to him, as she did her best to regain some composure and steady herself. She closed her eyes, fighting against the dizziness assailing her. She was going to tell him about her decision to get out of their marriage, and nothing - *nothing* - would prevent her from doing so. She was *not* going to be putty in his hands.
She turned around to face him at last, confident that her face showed nothing of the turmoil boiling inside her mind. Outside, she was the picture of serenity. Inside, she was screaming.
He wasn’t helping. His eyes were travelling up her body, from the tip of her toes to the hair framing her face.
“You look... beautiful.”
She could see that the compliment was genuine. Suddenly, the gown sheathing her body was way too revealing for her taste. She wished she could put on a robe and wrap it tightly around her. She smiled to hide her extreme nervousness.
He motioned for her to come close.
She stood near the dresser, feeling rooted to the spot. Her thoughts went back to the decision she’d made in the bathroom a few minutes earlier, to the determination that had inhabited her as she’d thought out the words that would set her free from her union with Lex.
“We need to talk.”
The words were forced out of her mouth, but spoken loud enough for Lex to hear.
The light in his eyes disappeared. She supposed she’d just thrown the proverbial bucket of cold water onto him. He raised his eyebrows.
She sustained his gaze. She would not be intimidated by his charisma. Even as he slid to a sitting position, then stood up, she didn’t move. Fear was pricking at the back of her mind. It was irrational. What was the worst that could happen to her? That Lex would try to argue with her? That he would laugh at her?
Whatever happened, she’d still be free.
He seized her hands.
She froze. Her heart raced up. Her legs gave way, and she felt his hands grab her waist to hold her upright.
“Lex, I...”
“Lois, dear, you look gorgeous.” His desire was plain as he spoke.
She tried to shake herself free. Either she was too weak for him to even perceive the move, or he was gripping her too tightly.
“I... I’ve had time to think when I was in Paris, and - ”
He kissed her.
Softly.
Tenderly.
His lips caressed hers in feather-like touches, firm but not demanding. Some of the tension in her muscles disappeared. He coaxed her mouth open with careful probing from his tongue. She couldn’t remember Lex ever kissing her so lovingly, and her defences were crumbling under the effects of his expert seduction.
She couldn’t deny that he was good at it, and she felt herself fighting against physical reactions she didn’t seem to control any more. Her mind was clouded... she’d had too much wine. Way too much wine.
She had to fight.
Fight.
Fight!
She pulled away.
“Lex...”
His name came out in a breath. She saw his eyes light up again, then one of his hands left hers to slide around her waist and pull her to him. She could feel the furiously fast beating of her heart resonating against his chest.
“Why don’t we just enjoy the evening?” His voice was suave... seductive. “Just you and me...” He brushed his lips against hers. “Right here...” Another feather-light touch grazed her lips. “Right now...” And another. “No thought about the future... or the past” He nibbled at her lips one more time. “Just you and me.”
She felt the blood rush away from her face. Her head was spinning. Her knees were too weak to support her. She didn’t have the strength to resist when he practically carried her to the bed.
He sat her on the bed, pushed her body to lie on the mattress, then settled onto her. He took his time kissing her, caressing her. She remained passive, trying to summon the strength to push him away and get on with their discussion.
“Mine,” he whispered against the side of her neck.
His.
She was his. And none of her muscles were responding even as she recoiled against the idea to be her husband’s possession one more night.
Conscience deserted her as the slow path of his lips and hands kept trying to elicit a response from her.
At last, she surrendered to a fate she was unable to escape.
*********
tbc...
