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From Part 6:“Mine,” he whispered against the side of her neck.
His.
She was his. And none of her muscles were responding even as she recoiled against the idea to be her husband’s possession one more night.
Conscience deserted her as the slow path of his lips and hands kept trying to elicit a response from her.
At last, she surrendered to a fate she was unable to escape.
*********Part 7:Lois lay still on the side of her bed and stared at the canopy above her head. She didn’t dare breathe in case she woke the man sleeping beside her. She didn’t dare move for fear he reached for her and pulled her to him. Her body was stiff with tension, and she longed for a restful sleep that wouldn’t come. She couldn’t close her eyes. She couldn’t curl up against the pillow and find some relief in her dreams.
She listened to the regular breathing beside her. Shivers were rippling all over her skin. She was itching to get up and spend the rest of the night on the couch, but she couldn’t move. Terror had been her companion for the past few hours.
Lex had trapped her under his body, kissed her until all senses deserted her... The hungry, possessive look on his face, that look she’d seen every time he raised his head from the kisses he was lavishing on her neck, was still haunting her hours after he’d let her go. It was that look that had prevented her from attempting to speak again, that look that had made the same sentences roll around her head.
/Mine./
/Just you and me.../
/Mine.../
Paralysed, she’d let him kiss her, over and over, feeling like a convict ready for execution. Her death sentence had pressed her onto the mattress, and she’d been malleable in his expert hands. Her heart had hammered against her breasts in a mixture of fear and resignation. Nausea had been rising in her gut, and she’d waited for him to kiss her again... kiss her where Clark had kissed her. Touch her where Clark had touched her. She’d barely been able to blink back tears as images of her night with Clark had quickly flashed through her mind.
He’d looked at her, a slow smile creeping on his face. His lips had grazed her naked shoulder, his hand had played with the strap of her gown, and for a few second, she’d held her breath, aware that her body was stiff with tension and that she had to relax.
When he’d pulled away to switch off the lights, she’d waited for him to reach for her again. Darkness had amplified her fear, but at least she’d known that he wouldn’t see her eyes while he had his way.
He’d lain down by her side, barely touching her.
His breathing had slowed down.
He’d settled down to sleep.
She’d waited, not daring to move or breathe, but he hadn’t touched her again. And as seconds ticked by on the clock at the far end of the bedroom, one question had hammered on her mind over and over. Why? Why hadn’t he gone on with what he obviously intended earlier? Had her lack of desire been so obvious that he’d preferred to forfeit his demand?
Fear and relief battled inside her. She could feel her arms and legs again, and her mind seemed less clouded than earlier. What had happened to her? She’d felt as if she’d been under a spell, unable to escape even though she loathed the idea of sleeping with him. When had she become so weak, so defenceless against him?
At least he’d left her alone. He had realised she didn’t want him. Everything would be okay. He was going to let her go.
/Mine./
He’d stayed in her bed, though. He hadn’t made any attempt to return to his own bedroom, and by the looks of it, he was going to spend the night by her side. For the very first time since their wedding, she would sleep next to Lex. She shuddered, then froze as the motion made him shift under the sheets.
He *was* going to let her *go*.
/You won’t be there to mother them..../
That hadn’t sounded like an innocuous comment.
But that was ridiculous! Lex had never threatened her; Clark had once tried to make her believe that she was getting engaged - and married - to a monster, but she knew she hadn’t done any such thing. She’d married a man who didn’t have time for love and didn’t really care about it; at the time, she had believed that she was just like him. She hadn’t been looking for passion. She’d sought security, and Lex had offered her just that. Sure, he’d said he loved her, but those were just words, and that had been fine... fine until Clark had whispered those same words to her.
Fine until Clark showed her that love was not just about signing a business contract, a soul-less pact with a like-minded stranger.
/Mine./
/You’re risking your life... more than you may know./
She wasn’t risking her life. Not with Lex. That was silly. He’d been talking about the risks she took in her *job*. She couldn’t deny that she flirted with death every couple of days.
/Reporters have that suicidal habit of poking their noses into dangerous places, don’t they?/
Her job was dangerous. Clark had told her many times that he always got scared for her. It was natural that Lex worried just the same.
Right?
/Must be what happened to that former partner of yours.../
Her fingers clenched around the hem of her pillow. Lex never talked about her life at the Planet - somehow that was a subject he always seemed to avoid, as if that part of her existence bothered him or made him jealous. Most of all, Clark’s name was taboo. At first, she’d thought that Lex was just sparing her the pain of thinking of a partner who’d abandoned her. As time passed, though, it had become obvious that any topic related to her life before they got engaged was not something her husband wished to broach.
/Mine./
/He must have gone too far and met his fate./
He had sounded so much more menacing than concerned. There had been something in his eyes... a veiled threat.
A threat.
/Gone too far./
What had he meant? She hadn’t found it in her to question him about it; unreasonable fear had silenced her, and it was obvious that he had considered the matter closed.
But the quietness of the bedroom, troubled only by the ticking of the clock and the peaceful breathing by her side, emphasised the haunting darkness of his eyes as he had spoken. She’d never seen that expression on his face before. Usually, when he talked to her, there was always gentleness and appreciation. Not tonight. Tonight, there had been a hint of warning in his words.
She shouldn’t be afraid of him, she reasoned, chastising herself for being so foolish. He was her husband, and he had never hurt her. He would never hurt her. Clark had managed to make her paranoid with his overprotective act. There were no grounds for his concern. No reason at all why she should be afraid of Lex. If he had wanted to harm her, he would have done so long ago. He loved her. He had married her, chosen her over dozens of models and society belles who had more beauty and money than she could ever claim to have. There was no reason to be afraid. There was no reason to believe that Lex was faking his feelings for her.
Nevertheless, her body couldn’t relax. Her mind couldn’t find the restful sleep she craved.
/Mine./
Guilt was partly responsible for her disquiet, she knew. She could still hear the words she’d spoken to Clark the night before her departure from Paris; she’d promised him that she would get a head start on the divorce procedure. And what had she done so far? Not that her husband had given her any space to talk. His plans had obviously not included any kind of meaningful conversation tonight.
She would tell him tomorrow. She would not wait any longer.
/You’re risking your life.../
Oh, God...
Her decision was irrevocable. She would try to be as gentle as possible and make sure he understood that she wouldn’t ask for any sort of financial support from him. He would be fine. *She* would be fine.
/More than you may know./
/Mine./
He had her at his mercy. She was his, and there hadn’t been a damn thing she’d managed to do to escape his magnetism.
Movement on her side made her catch on her breath, but her husband just turned onto his stomach and buried his head into his pillow. Heart hammering in her chest, she waited for any sign of wakefulness, but he lay immobile. Her muscles didn’t relax. Her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides, the thin protection of the quilt very inadequate against the panic attacking her.
Their lack of intimacy tonight had troubled more than reassured her. Why was he sleeping by her side tonight, for the first time since their wedding?
Carefully, she rolled onto her side, facing away from him. She needed to forget that he was lying next to her. She needed to - Oh, God. The motion had been enough to trigger a moment’s restlessness in Lex’s sleep, and she felt him shift closer to her. An arm looped around her waist and pulled her to him. She was trapped.
Closing her eyes, she fought the tears that threatened to spill onto her pillow. It wasn’t the first time he’d held her like that. And she’d prepared herself for it earlier. She’d even accepted it. In the dead of the night, though, all she could think about was that it would be the first time after she and Clark had made love. Under the weight of his arm, she felt dirty and unfaithful. She wanted to be with her best friend; she needed his reassurance that everything was going to be all right and that he would always be there for her.
A kiss was pressed to her naked shoulder.
He was awake.
She gritted her teeth and braced herself for what was to come. If he insisted on making love now, there was nothing she could do to deny him. She willed her breathing to be slow and fought against the loud and rapid beating of her heart. Maybe he would believe she was asleep. Maybe he’d be enough of a gentleman to leave her alone.
His lips lingered against the strap of her nightgown. He brushed a soft caress up her neck, pushing her hair out of the way. His arm pulled her even closer so that her back was pressed against his chest.
His open mouth trailed a moist path against the side of her throat, and she shivered, a reaction he probably mistook for desire. His large hand splayed across her stomach and rubbed through the silk material of her nightgown.
She should push him away. She should tell him she wasn’t in the mood. She should...
Guilt crashed around her as she remembered how readily she had surrendered to her physical desire for Clark. She had betrayed her husband, who, as uncaring as he was, didn’t deserve her unfaithfulness. And now she was betraying Clark by staying in the arms of a man she didn’t love.
Saying no had never been a problem for her in the past, but with Lex it was different. His charisma made it difficult to deny him anything. In fact, his strength of character had been what had first attracted her to him. She had seen respect in his eyes when she resisted him during the course of his courtship. She had realised he didn’t consider her as another conquest. She had been flattered by the extent of his attentions.
She had never been able to say no to him.
His hand travelled up her body in a warm stroke, its pressure entrapping her. She fought the urge to struggle free.
Summoning memories of her night with Clark, she tried to imagine that it was her lover’s hand caressing her, his lips kissing the base of her neck and stirring physical need within her core.
A moan escaped her. Her teeth sunk into her lip as she bit back the sound, but she knew it was too late. Lex had heard her, and his unwelcome touch intensified. A heavy leg sneaked between hers, trapping her even more effectively. The taste of blood made her release her teeth’s steel grip on her lip.
It wasn’t the first time they would be intimate, she reasoned through the turmoil of her mind. She had accepted this part of their marriage without any qualm before. She couldn’t say she had enjoyed it, but then she had always thought that sex wasn’t something she particularly liked.
Until Clark.
With Clark, it had been much different from anything she had known before. She had felt much more than physical completion. It hadn’t just been her body that had got involved in her actions. Their hearts had beat to the same strong rhythm; their souls had tangled along with their bodies; she had known that one night would never be enough to satisfy her endless need.
Fingertips sliding under the hem of her gown.
She caught her breath and struggled to ignore the cold hand against the skin of her thigh.
Clark.
Focus on Clark.
The memory of how she had felt with him made it impossible to have sex with Lex again. During those moments, her husband treated her even more like a possession; he was in control, setting the pace and seeking his own pleasure in the spell he exerted over her. Physical love with Lex wasn’t about sharing. It wasn’t about mutual affection. It certainly wasn’t about reaffirming feelings that had never existed on her side.
The hand teasing her leg slid over her gown but to no safer territories. She couldn’t shudder and show him her disgust. She couldn’t even breathe for fear he’d interpret it as pleasure.
She had never truly realised how little she looked forward to their intimacy. She had never paused to wonder about her lack of initiative in that department. Lex was always the one coming to her bed. She complied because as his wife that was what she was expected to do.
Before she married, she had thought that tying herself to a man would drag her out of a loneliness she couldn’t cope with any longer. She had believed, quite naively, that choosing Lex would ensure she was never alone again. His life was a whirl of excitement, and he was willing to share it with her.
What happened in the marital bed had been the least of her concern until their engagement. And even then she had managed to push the issue aside by requesting they waited until their wedding night. After that, she had decided to accept it as an inevitable part of her marriage. She couldn’t expect Lex to live in abstinence because she didn’t feel any real desire for him. But then until tonight, she had never been disgusted at the thought of making love with him.
She lay passive as his hands settled at her waist. She could feel his heavy breathing against the back of her head. His bare chest pushed against her back. His arms were circling around her, maintaining her in a grip that felt suffocating. Any second now, he would roll her over and settle onto her. There would be no claiming she was asleep then. No escape. He tugged her closer to him, nuzzling her hair...
... then his hold on her loosened again.
His arms remained around her, and for long minutes, she didn’t move, afraid he was only waiting for a sign to resume his previous course of action. He didn’t. His breathing became slow and regular. He had fallen back to sleep.
Eyes wide open and body stiff, Lois stared at the far wall of the room, aware that peace would elude her all night.
*********
tbc...
