Previously, on Part 9:


On the way to work, Lois turned to Clark. For once, she let him conduct her Jeep.

“Clark. I saw the pizzas and the videos on the table. I… I just wanted to say… I wanted to thank you. That was sweet. That’s good to have a friend like you.”

He could hear the honesty behind her words and was touched. It wasn’t often that Lois opened her heart to him that way. He smiled at her.

“You’re very welcome, Lois.”

“Could… Could we… have our evening video-pizzas tonight?” asked Lois in a very insecure voice. Clark looked at her surprised. “ I… I don’t want to be alone,” added she.

“Of course, Lois. I’d be glad to come for an evening video-pizza,” responded Clark, grinning at her. And he was glad to be awarded by a real smile, completely genuine.

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And now, Part 10:


PART 10: IN THE COMFORT OF HIS EMBRACE

Clark was flying towards the police station. It made a week now that he was pretending to be married with Andrea, and he was fed up with all the lies... Nothing happened, and it was time to stop the masquerade. He couldn't do it anymore.

Since the day he announced the wedding, he spent all his nights at Lois' apartment. The first night, she cried herself to sleep. After that, every night she invited him. Video-pizzas, games, stake-out, or even work... And every time, at the end of the evening, she asked him if he could sleep there, because she didn't want to be left alone. That was so unlike her to show herself so dependant that made him want to cry.

He spent seven nights on her uncomfortable sofas, and that was okay with him. What wasn't okay was to see her cry all over him. He was glad to be able to comfort her, to hold her in his arms, but he didn't want her to need his comfort. He wanted her to be the strong woman he knew. He didn't like to see her like this. And the fact that it was all his own fault wasn't helping him to deal with a tearful Lois.

Though he had to admit that she hadn't cried at all in the last two nights. He smiled as he remembered the evening they spend together two nights before. They had so much fun.

He was cooking for her. To help her forget her dark thoughts, he tried to make her participate at the cooking. Just the evening before, she cried one more time on his shoulders when something triggered a memory of Superman while they were working on a story. And he didn’t want a repeat of that evening, or any other previous ones. When he began to ask her to do some little things to help him in the kitchen, she moaned and protested that she didn’t know how to cook. So he tried to explain it to her. And finally, she tried. She failed, but… at least she tried. She seemed happy that he didn’t mock her efforts, and she began to joke herself about her culinary skill. And little by little, she began to really enjoy herself. At the end, they did a battle with the food spoiled by Lois cooking. She even laughed, and that was Clark who almost cried when she did. It was so good to hear her laugh. Luckily, she hadn’t noticed, and had really enjoyed the evening. So did he.

And the night after that, while they were playing games, she hadn't cried either. Actually, he even heard her laugh again a few times. That sounded good to him. Her laugh was become so rare in the last week. But Clark wasn't fool enough to think that she was okay again, that she won't cry anymore.

The fact that she still needed him to stay in her apartment the night was proof enough, if proof was needed, that she was still feeling frail.

But he wanted it to be over. He didn't want her to began crying again. How could he bear it, knowing that it was all his fault? Knowing that he could end the tears, the heartache? It was just time to end it all.

And so, Clark was on his way to the police station to do exactly that. Put an end to Lois' misery. Put an end to his own misery, too.

He was fed up with lying, especially to Lois. He was fed up with his coming and going, morning and night, by Andrea's window. He was fed up with this whole story, and he just wanted to end it all.

He slowed his pace at the sight of the police station, and prepared to land. It was time to warn Henderson that this was over.

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"But you *can't* stop, Superman!"

"Yes, I can. And I will, Inspector Henderson! That's an entire week that I'm pretending to be married and Intergang hadn't showed up! Face the truth, your tip was wrong! They won't make a move and I don't want to lie anymore!"

The superhero and the old policeman were face to face, both screaming. The conversation had quickly degenerated into an argument, when Henderson started to argument why the superhero should keep the deception. Superman reacted badly. That was the first time Henderson saw Superman angry enough to scream. He never even heard about anyone who had argued with him before. That made him perfectly conscious of how emotional the superhero could be about lying to the world and deceive Lois.

But the police inspector couldn't believe that Superman was really threatening to stop such an important investigation. No. Not threatening, he amended to himself, he made his decision yet. Now, it was just Henderson's mission to make him agree again. And to argue about that wasn't the better way to do it.

Sighing, Henderson tried to calm himself. He took a few deep breaths and talked again, trying to be the voice of the reason for Superman, who was obviously too much emotional about the whole story.

"Superman, look," began Henderson pacifying, "You know I have men following Lois to protect her in the case of something going wrong..."

"What?!" exclaimed the very angry superhero. "Are you threatening me to stop to protect her life if I don't obey you?! And you think that kind of blackmail made you better than Intergang?!"

"No! No, no! No, Superman, that's not what I'm saying. I'm not even thinking about it! Lane is my friend too, you know, even if I'll never admit it to her."

Henderson saw a contrite look on Superman's face even if he didn't make his excuses for his accusations. The policeman should satisfy himself with it since it was obvious that the superhero was still too angry and unhappy about the situation to apologise for what he said.

"So. What I was saying was that the policemen who are following Lois reported to me that they spotted another guy spying on her since the day after the press conference. We identified him. He has a very long record, and we suspect him to work for Intergang. Please Superman, reconsider your position."

At the stubborn expression on the superhero's face, Henderson felt that he had to insist.

"You know what that means, Superman? You know why Intergang is following her? This guy can do that for only two reasons. First, if Intergang doesn't believe our story, that means that they still want to attack her..."

"It won't change a thing then if I stop!" cut off Superman, still angry and clearly unhappy about the situation.

To make him heard, Henderson had to raise his voice.

"Second hypothesis. Intergang follows her to be sure that your marriage is real! If that's the case, then you just have to wait that they are convinced and they'll bite to the hook!"

At that, Superman became even angrier. He began to pace through the room, obviously trying to control his fury. Henderson was a little worried to see that such a powerful man can be so close to lose his self-control by anger.

"If they want to see her cry all over my marriage, they should be happy by now!! She's desperate!!! I don't want to see her suffer anymore! I want to stop everything! Tell her everything!"

The way Superman paced and the angry tones of his screams infuriated Henderson. The superhero was treating him as if he was the bad guy in the story! He was just trying to help Lois. He was just trying to help Superman protect the ones he loves. He was just doing his job! And the superhero was angry against him!

"You can't!" cut off Henderson, screaming as loud as Superman, now. "You'd destroy everything we've done!"

"I don't care! I want to stop!"

"Do you want Lois' death?! Is that what you want?!"

"How can you say that!?! I *love* her!!!"

The two men were both trying to cry louder than the other, cutting the other off. The replies burst out very quickly, but that last sentence threw a cold into the room. That had the effect of an icy shower and calmed them both immediately. They stayed silent a few seconds, catching their breaths.

Henderson couldn't believe that Superman had just admitted out of anger exactly what he was denying from the beginning. He just admitted his love for Lois.

Clark couldn't believe what he just said either. Just a week ago, when Andrea told him everything she witnessed of his relationship with Lois, he swore to himself to hide more carefully his feelings for her in front of people, especially when dressed as Superman. And now, he was crying out loud his love for her in front of Henderson, just because he was too angry to think straight.

"Err... I mean... She's... She's my friend... and... and we all love our friends... err... friendly. I... I love her... you know... friendly..."

<God! I'm babbling again! What's wrong with me? I never babble usually, and I'm almost stammering...>

"It's okay, Superman," interjected Henderson soothingly. "I know you love her. You don't need to justify you or to deny your feelings. It's okay."

Sighing, Superman sat on the chair face to Henderson desk, and looked at the police inspector, defeated.

"But, you know, it's true what I said the other day. Lois and I... we're not together," said Superman. He knew that didn't matter, but he felt the need to clarify it. "It doesn't matter what I feel, we're not together. That's the truth."

"It's okay, Superman. You don't need to convince me. I believe you, if you say so." Henderson smiled reassuringly at the sad but now calmed superhero. "But you know," added he more seriously, "if you really love her, you'd keep the pretence until we stop Intergang. Otherwise, she would have suffered all this week long for nothing at all. And her life would be in danger again..."

Superman sighed again, defeated.

"You won, but, Henderson, I don't know if I'll be able to go on lying for long. If Intergang doesn't act quickly, I won't be able to continue... I... I just can't bear to see her cry anymore."

"I understand, Superman, really. But you made the right thing. And don't worry too much for Lois. She's not alone in all this. My men reported to me that Clark Kent was always with her to help her and support her."

Superman smiled bitterly at the reassurances that Henderson tried to give him, but nodded nonetheless.

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<And I'm back in Lois' apartment for a new night> thought sadly Clark.

He leaned back dejectedly against the kitchen counter where he was occupying himself cooking for Lois. He hadn't wanted to eat stake out again, so Lois told him to feel free to cook. He remembered with a smile what she said:

"Well... Now that you had given me a cook lesson, I'm so good in the kitchen I could give you a complex if I cook so I guess you'd have to do it."

Clark was glad Lois was able to joke again sometimes. That means she was feeling better. But when he was happy to see her became herself again, he was more than never afraid of a relapse. That was hard to see her broken the first time around, but he didn't know if he could bear to see her that way a second time after such an emotional week.

That situation was killing him. He hated to lie to her, especially when his lie was so upsetting for her. And he hated himself to have agreed to pursue the deceit.

He could do anything for Lois to continue to stay well. He couldn't bear to see her devastated again. Actually, that was why he became so angry against Henderson earlier. He was just so afraid to see her cry again after two whole days without tears. He wanted her to feel well so badly...

<Well, for now she's okay>, he reassured himself.

Decidedly, he turned towards the counter and finished preparing the meal.

A few minutes later, he heard noises in the bedroom. Lois was done with her shower, and she'll come back into the living room shortly. He shook himself to prevent her to see how unsettled he was.

"Hm. That feels good! What are you cooking?"

Clark turned towards Lois' voice. She was advancing towards the kitchen, smiling, and clearly interested by the saucepan on the electric cooker. Clark smiled back, but shocked his head.

"huh-huh. It's a surprise."

Lois looked at him with a pout, and he couldn't help but smile wider.

"Come on, Clark. You know I don't like surprises!" begged she.

"Okay. Just a clue then. French cooking."

"Ooh!" exclaimed her, "I'm impressed. Your mom taught you how to cook french too?"

"No. I learned that in France, when I was travelling the world, before I came to Metropolis," explained he.

"Well, I’m eager. And since you don't want to tell me more, I guess I'll try to be helpful."

"You? Helpful in the kitchen, Lois?" joked he. “I guess we proved the other night that it wasn’t possible.”

Lois tried to look at him nastily but couldn't stay serious very long and chuckled with him. She loved when he teased her that way.

"Well... I'm able to lay the table, you know. Not all the stake out come with disposable dishes," responded she, in the same light and teasing tone.

She went towards the kitchen cupboards and took the dishes. On her way, she turned on the radio and one of her favourites songs could be heard in the room while she was laying the table. But the song soon ended and the joyful voice of the presenter replaced it.

"Whaouh. 'Fly me to the moon'. That's a romantic song! You think Superman could sing it to his wife? It sure looks as if he's very in love. I heard that he went to the police station today! He missed her! How sweet is that?"

Abruptly the silence came back in the room. Lois looked at Clark who had just turned off the radio, and was looking back at her worriedly.

When he took her in his arms, and murmured soothingly in her ears, she became aware that she was crying softly, and began to cry harder.

Clark felt bad. He felt so bad. All that was his fault. She was once again crying because of him. She was feeling better, and he made her cry again. He went to the police station because he wanted to stop her pain, but he just made her even more miserable. Of course everybody would think that he went there o see his wife.

The guilt assailed him. Feeling Lois' tears against his shoulder once more time was too much. Damn Henderson! Damn this plan! Damn Intergang! He just couldn't stay silent. She had to know everything. He'd tell her, and she'll stop crying.

He opened the mouth to speak, explain everything, but no sound went out. Consciously, he didn't understand completely what was holding him back. But deep inside, he knew why he felt so much difficulty to talk to her. How could he explain that much cruelty against her without make it even worse? It wouldn't be just Superman who'd be betraying her, but Clark as well. And right now, she didn't need that another man she trusted reveals that he betrayed her faith, that he lied to her.

If he told her everything, she would be truly alone to face the situation. She wouldn't have anymore her best friend with her, and she needed that friendship. Henderson was right when he said that at least she had Clark with her to face the situation. He couldn't take that away from her too. He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell her. Not right now. Not when she was so emotionally weak.

Plus, there was that old fear of revealing to anybody that he was Superman. Because there was no way he could tell her what was happening and letting that aside.

Clark was so engrossed in his thoughts and guilt that he didn't even notice that in his arms Lois slowly had calmed down, stopped to cry and began to kiss his throat softly. Not until she kissed him lightly on the corner of his mouth.

He looked at her, surprised.

"Lois, what are you doing?" asked he uncertain.

"I'm kissing you," responded she quietly before kissing him again, more fully, on the lips.

At first, Clark couldn't help himself but respond, but then, very quickly, he regained his mind and broke the kiss off.

"I'm sorry Lois, but... I don't want to be just a way to forget him," explained he softly, but with the expression resolute.

Lois could see sadness in his eyes, and knew that she had hurt him. That wasn't what she wanted, but she clearly had. Nonetheless, in spite of the reject expressed in his words, nothing in his demeanour was rejecting her, and she felt reassured by it.

"That's not the case, Clark," denied Lois. "I love you."

The words came out before she could think them through. The astounded look on Clark's face made her realise how she made it sound. As a love declaration. All her instincts were urging her to deny it, explain it away. She did it once before; she told him she loved him... like a brother. But she didn't feel able to do it this time.

Surprised, she realised she meant it. For the week he spent with her, she came to realise how much she loved him. Since the day of her almost wedding with Lex, she knew that she had stronger feeling for him than what she wanted to recognize, but that week with him really opened her eyes on the depth of her love for her partner. And she didn't want to deny it anymore. It was time to be honest with herself, and time to be honest with him. Completely honest.

The voice shaking, she began her confession of love:

"Clark, you're my best friend. And I... I want you. I won't lie to you. I love Superman too, you know it. I'm still crying every time I heard about his marriage. But... Look, I never thought possible to love two people at the same time, and yet... I do. I love him, and I love you. That's true, you know. I really fell in love with you."

Clark was speechless. Instinctively, he knew he wasn't dreaming, and yet that couldn't be true either. He hurt her! How could she love him? He felt happier and more ashamed than never before in his whole life, and all at the same time. He felt so much at once he didn't know anymore how he felt. He couldn't move or talk or breathe anymore. That was a dream come true, and he wasn't prepared for the wave of emotions that were overwhelming him.

Lois was afraid that Clark could reject her. She was terrified that her saying her true feelings was making him angry or feeling as if she wanted to use him to forget Superman. He hadn't reacted at all at what she said. Every man she ever loved in her life had rejected her, and she survived. But this time, she knew that if Clark rejected her, something inside her will die. She needed to make him understand that her feelings were true, that she wasn't using him...

"Clark, I know you deserves better than that, better than a woman in love with two men, and... I'll understand if you don't want me," added she softly even thought that wasn't the truth. "But you know... I realised something else apart for my true feelings for you. I realised that I couldn’t ever be happy with him, while I know I can be with you. And I'm not saying that he can't make me happy because he's married to someone else, but because... I know now that, even though I spend a lot of times with him, I don't really know him. I don't know much about him, and therefore, I can't... trust him. Not the way I trust you. I know I can trust you completely."

Now, Lois was about to cry. She never exposed her heart so much in her whole life, and she was absolutely petrified. Clark was still looking at her completely shocked and speechless, and she could feel him shake against her. She felt the need to run and hide, but she forced herself to stay and finish what she wanted him to hear.

"I love you, Clark. And please, believe me," begged she. "You're not my second choice. I can understand if you don't want me because of my feelings for him, but please, never doubt that I love you too. Because it's true."

Her throat was tight by the tears she was holding back, and she was barely able to speak anymore, but she needed to say it.

"You're not just a way to forget him. I'm really in love with you."

Here. She said it. And she was so terrified of his response that she wanted to die. If he rejected her, she would have lost everything. Everything would be over. That was the moment of truth. She looked Clark in the eyes to know his reaction to her speech, and saw silent tears on his face. He raised a shaking hand to caress her hair, and smiled at her.

"I love you too, Lois," responded he, the voice hoarse with emotions. He never felt so happy in his whole life.

Relieved, she broke off and cried hard in his arms. This time, that was happy tears. She had been so terrified to hear his response.

"I love you too," repeated he.

She raised the eyes on his happy face, and kissed him again, harder, to make him feel everything she felt for him.


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