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#31187 07/29/06 02:46 AM
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Poussin Offline OP
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Wow. Yesterday, I saw you posted part 2 but I didn't have time to read it, so I came back today to read part 2, and I found pat 2, 3 and 4! Wow. That was quick!

I loved your story. Especially the first part, that was pretty sad with Lois' rejection of Clark and everything, and the last part that was very funny, with Lois thinking Clark was suicidal. Well, all the apearances were indeed against him.

Very well done. My only regret: your story is not long enough. I could take more of that. You did great. Keep it that way in your future stories. And congratulations for posting such a good story for your first try.

EDIT: I edit my message because I don't know if I was clear enough the first time around. When I say that my only regret was that your story wasn't long enough, I didn't mean it like a complain, but like a compliment. I wanted to read more from you, and this amazing story. Again, that was GREAT. wink

#31188 07/29/06 05:19 AM
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Merriwether
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Wow, that was a rush. I agree that it could have been longer but it's sweet how it is. I was sad to see it end, but happy they ended up together. So much torment (love it).

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But the city wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t trust his powers any more. His heat vision needed eyes that were able to focus, but his weren’t. Each time he flew, he had to be really careful, that he didn’t fall asleep.He lost altitude from time to time, because he couldn’t concentrate.
I like how you used examples to show how tired he was.

I really enjoyed the scene where Lois is trying to tell him stuff, but all he wants to do is sleep.

Quote
He couldn’t justify it anymore to keep certain facts for himself.

“Lois, I’m sorry for this. Superman was on that scyscraper, because he was too tired to fly.” He swallowed and then continued. “Lois, I was too tired to fly, yesterday.”
smile Ah, a revelation. I laugh this one. I'm surprised she caught on so quickly. I'm glad because to me it suits her. Often she seems to slow in her own personal discoveries as opposed to those at work. I can see why...(insert theory here) but I like how you worked the situation here.

Quote
“You?” she gasped. “So you didn’t mean Indiana, it really was India?”
thumbsup

I really hope to see more from you - thank you for sharing your piece of work!!!


I've converted to lurk-ism... hopefully only temporary.
#31189 07/29/06 08:06 AM
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Pulitzer
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Hi,

Great story. hyper


Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
#31190 07/29/06 08:29 AM
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Pulitzer
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Good job! Especially for your first try and being a non-English speaker. I applaud your efforts in translation to share your story with us.

A very cute idea, Lois thinking Clark was going to commit suicide. laugh

I too liked you described how tired he was and that his *battery* finally wore down and he couldn't fly anymore (it was dark and there was no sunlight to recharge him). Neat idea. And I liked the part where Clark told her to look at him, to really look at him... nice.


Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
#31191 07/29/06 04:08 PM
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Pulitzer
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grumble


I'm also very glad that Lois found out the truth. Like I said previously if you hadn't told her I would have sent you a 'splat'!.... NO thumbsup If this story is indication or your talent, I eagerly look forward to more. hyper


party MORE PLEASE!!
Please... grovel


~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
#31192 07/29/06 04:33 PM
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Top Banana
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I finally got caught up and I loved this story. You did such a wonderful job portraying a tired Clark/Superman. You must write again soon. I thoroughly enjoyed this! hail


I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
#31193 07/29/06 08:20 PM
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Pulitzer
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Hi!
Thanks to all of you!
@ classicalla: I know how pills are packed in the US, with the german version my story would never have worked. frown laugh
But I wasn't sure if bottle would be the correct word for it.

I already have a new story in mind, but I think I will need a little help with it. So reply to my questions, and I'll see what I can do about it. wink


It's never too dark to be cool. cool
#31194 07/29/06 11:35 PM
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Pulitzer
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I'm not sure I understand this:

Quote
So reply to my questions, and I'll see what I can do about it
But if you have some questions, I'm willing to try help....

Nancy

wave


~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
#31195 07/30/06 05:39 AM
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Great story. Wow. Really loved it.

Hope you'll archive it.

Can't wait for your next.


Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

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