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Joined: Jun 2006
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Another great part.

I noticed in this part and one of the other parts that you mention religious fundamentalists. I thought that you might say something to the effect of them not all being bad guys. Yeah, some of them are, but they aren't any different than other people in society. I guess I mention this because I was raised in the so-called Bible belt and most Christians are not what you call Bible thumping fundies. Most of them are really good people. It works well in the story, I just ask that you mention that not all of them are like that. (And no, I'm not one of those thumpers... But I am a Christian.)


I found a minor mistake:
Quote
He glanced back at her. "Hi, Lois. I had some. I got in touch with some people in Sunnydale and found that my double was a foster child.
It should read Smallville. Don't you just hate it when something like this happens?


So Lois wants to spar with Clark, eh? And she thinks she's stronger than him... goofy
Got her butt kicked didn't she? And she didn't even do a thing....

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Lois was limping a bit, and very sweaty, when she stepped into her apartment half an hour later. Clark had said he'd be down in a minute -- he'd never even perspired. He'd also never fought back. He'd been a rather uncooperative partner, all told, but she'd learned quite a bit about him in the impromptu and one-sided match.
And then Buffy can't stand it.. She has to do the same. I love it:

Quote
Buffy stuck her fingers in her mouth and sucked away the pain and looked at him with new respect -- Lois was right, hitting him with anything resembling Slayer strength was not a wise idea. She'd nearly broken her hand punching him. He should have at least said, "Ow!" and he didn't appear bruised at all.
During one part of Buffy's and Clark's sparring conversation, you said:

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She grunted in surprise at his weight, which was significantly more than a human should have weighed. He was *dense.* She added that bit of knowledge to his enhanced strength and speed that they'd already noted.
I'd suggest an alternate word to dense. I knew it wasn't what you meant, but I started laughing because all I could think was that Buffy thought he was immensely stupid. Also the * goes inside the period - *dense*. I actually checked the thesaurus but didn't see any good words to replace dense. Maybe you could say something like hitting him was like hitting steel or hitting a brick wall....


I see that you decided to use my suggestion of Clark killing (or prepared to) a vampire. I'm glad he didn't kill Spike, though, and that Buffy managed to stop him before he did.

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Clark reacted faster than she would have believed. He leaped to his feet, lunged at the vampire, shoved him against a tree and reached over his head to snap off a dead branch. Then he hesitated, vampire pinned, hand pulled back, every line of his body tense. She was truly impressed by the speed and power he'd shown; the vampire had no chance at all when Clark had gone after him. She could see Clark's face -- his eyes were wide and full of emotional agony. This was not a man who liked to kill anything, even vampires.
The gig's up, Clark. Spike just ratted you out:

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He gestured loosely at Clark, "So now it's aliens?"
Boy, Spike sure is jealous of the Buffy's lover mentioned in Angel. Sorry, I don't remember the guys name.

I look forward to the next part.


~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
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Kerth
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OK, so vampires know when they smell him (and presumably other demons too), what sort of life is this world's Clark living? I have a feeling it isn't fun.

Later edit: forgot to say that I love CK giving Buffy relationship advice. And in answer to the question in the previous comment, the guy mentioned in Angel was "The Immortal", no other name given.


Marcus L. Rowland
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Thanks, Marcus, I knew it was something like that, but I kept thinking Mortal and I knew that wasn't right.

I'm not sure the vamps would recognize Clark as 'different' per se. They would just know him once they had met him.


~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
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L
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I'm actually on the fence about vampires detecting Clark's not human. They can certainly identify other demons -- Spike knew Tara *wasn't* a demon in Buffy. (Remember when he slugged her to prove his point?) Not sure what the canon explanation was for how he knew, but he knew. Given close proximity, I dunno what they'd make of Clark or if Kyptonians smell different than humans -- haven't decided yet which way I'm going to go, if it even matters.

OTOH, it serves my purposes in a scene coming up in the story for vampires NOT to be able to identify a Kryptonian immediately. *grin* (Though the vampires in question are dumb fledgelings.)

One other thing that occurred to me is that Clark should be able to identify a vampire a mile away if he's actually looking for one. No beating heart. That's probably not occurred to anyone yet; he's so out of his depth and the Scoobies haven't fully grasped the level of his abilities yet.

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Oooh, No beating heart. I hadn't thought of that. It should be good.


~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
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I'm following this one with interest. I know you're working with established characters with backstories already written, but even for a non-Buffy fan like me, the people in the story are multi-faceted and feel like real people. Having Buffy explain her past to Clark (especially her relationship with Spike) is very cool, because it brings me up to speed, too. And I can see how conflicted these Slayers are. They may have great powers, but they also carry a heavy responsibility (apologies to Peter Parker's uncle Ben for appropriating the mis-quote). They're doing their best to fight for the innocent without turning into the ones they're hunting.

I think Clark meeting Bill will be very interesting. And Bill meeting Lois? Even more so. Keep it coming!


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing

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