This is a Comedy Round Robin. I am now posting it as a story. I have everyone's permission to do so. The writers had great fun doing this and we all hope you find it entertaining and funny.
Writers:
Ann (TOC)
Classicalla
Doc
LoisLane2
MetroRhodes
Edited by Classicalla
The usual disclaimers apply.
In some ways, this can be considered a multiple, multiple crossover.
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Strange Revelations Part 1: Red She had done it again. Clark had asked her to wait. Wait. One little word. One little syllable. How difficult was that? Apparently that was very difficult for Lois Lane. Now she was missing and time was running out.
He listened for her heartbeat. He couldn't hear it. He thought that she must be too far away. He didn't see her when he flew over Metropolis, either. '*Wait!*' He sighed. 'Oh, no, that's not Lois.' He just knew that *this* time she really was going to get herself killed.
Adrenaline pumped through Clark's system as he frantically searched the city. All the usual abandoned warehouses and dark alleyways that Lois liked to hang out in looking for a story were dead-ends.
He decided to head for the Fudge Castle; maybe a quadruple chocolate fudge sundae would help him think. As he flew towards the Fudge Castle, he thought about the strangely mysterious dream he had had last night. The memory was submerged but yet was so close to the surface. Why couldn't he remember? Red. A fleeting flash of red. Red? What did *that* MEAN? He landed, spun out of the suit and entered the cafe but didn't realize that he had put his red briefs back on over his jeans.
Upon entering the fine, sugary establishment, he spotted Lois perched at the bar, her face smeared with chocolate. They had planned on spending the day together, but when she wasn't at her apartment, he assumed she had gone in search of a story. Now here she was at the Fudge Castle. Would he ever understand this woman?
She looked up from the fountain-o-fudge that she was dipping fruit and marshmallows into and gaped at him open-mouthed. "Ya know, Clark, most men put their pants on one leg at a time, but all men remember to put them on after their underwear. Funny, I wouldn't have thought red would be your color." She licked her fingers, then added coolly, "You might want to close your mouth now. A bird might think you're a nesting box. And here, let me take your glasses off for you."
"Wha... Uh, no."
"No? Why not? They obviously don't help if you're putting your underwear on the outside of your clothes." Lois reached out to take the glasses off Clark's face, but he wouldn't let her have them.
"I, uh... I, uh... wouldn't be able to eat some of your chocolate without them. I wouldn't know where to dip my fruit."
"Oh, well that's not a problem, I'll dip it for you."
"Yes, umm... guess that's been kind of a fantasy of mine, Lois. Having you feed me fruit that's been dipped in chocolate - especially if there's some chocolate on your fingers so I can lick *them*, too."
"You behave, Kent. No licking my fingers. Uh, we seem to be attracting a crowd here. So how about we leave this place? Can I fly you somewhere? To the moon, perhaps?"
"Lois! You mean you won't let me lick your fingers? I'll just make you lick *mine* then. And I am perfectly capable of doing my own flying, thank you!"
"So, Mr. Red - Briefs - On - The - Outside - Of - His - Jeans, you think you can fly?" She smiled sweetly.
"Of course I can." With that he reached out and grabbed a strawberry.
"Oh, no you don't! You need help." She giggled, dipped her fingers in fudge and smeared it all over his glasses.
"Lois, no!!! I can't see anything!"
Lois giggled happily and started to lick the chocolate from Clark's glasses. Everyone at the Fudge Castle was staring open-mouthed at these two famous reporters, who seemed *very* frisky, and one of them was oddly dressed indeed. (Red briefs on the outside, what an idea!!!)
At about this time, Clark had had enough, so he scooped up a somewhat chocolate-covered Lois and carried her out of her favorite chocolate heaven.
"Ummm, Clark, don't you think maybe you should do something about your new fashion statement before I fly you to the moon?"
"Statement? What statement's that Lois?"
"Well let's just say that I'm not going to join you by wearing my bra on the outside of my dress. Get my meaning?"
Clark stared at Lois still without comprehension.
She decided to try her previous statement again. "I wouldn't have thought red would be your color, maybe Superman's, but not yours. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're not a tidy whities guy, but still..."
"Tidy whities? What's wrong with tidy whities?"
"You have to ask, Clark? You'd better take me home to your apartment so I can inspect your supply of boxers and briefs. I'll tell you which ones are okay and which aren't. Hmmm, that's an idea - you could wear *boxers* on the outside instead of briefs! That would be cute!"
"Lo-iss..."
"On the other hand, Clark, some guys look better without any undies at all...." Besides, your apartment is closer and we are both covered in chocolate. *I* need a shower and a change of clothes. Then I can get around to inspecting your underwear drawer and throw out the 'undesirables'."
"Lois, what were you planning on changing *into* after you take a shower? And don't get any ideas about seeing me without undies. It ain't gonna happen," he muttered, "at least anytime soon."
"I thought of a nice shirt from you. Maybe with your High School name on it?" She giggled again, then took him by his hand and said, "Come on."
"Lois!!!!!"
"No seriously, Clark, I'm sure you've got a pair of sweatpants and a shirt I can borrow to get me home. Showing me your underwear is optional." She grinned conspiratorially at him.
"I can probably come up with something, but leave my underwear out of this. And don't even bother asking me how my underwear ended up outside my clothing. I'm not even gonna go there. Come on, let's get you cleaned up."
"I knew you would have something I can wear. What about you, Clark? I'm not the only one that's layered in chocolate fudge, but *you* are the only one topped with chocolate covered glasses."
"Oh, but you licked little peepholes in the middle of the lenses, so I can see, at least. Now, you wanna walk or fly to my apartment?"
"Well, I already offered to fly you to the moon, Clark, but your apartment is closer. So let's fly. You're half dressed as Superman already. And don't worry about giving your secret identity away. With so much chocolate on your glasses your disguise is better than usual, and with those red briefs over your pants, I don't think anyone will be looking at your face!"
"Lois, you knew? What gave it away?"
"Besides the red briefs? The fact that you never let me take your glasses off," Lois said, as she snatched his glasses. "There, much better."
"Hey give me those; you can't just take those off in public."
"Sure I can. You need to change clothes, remember? So spin into your *suit* already and fly me to your place... or maybe Rio, where we wouldn't need any clothes as our bathing suits would work fine."
Clark obediently spun. However, when he had finished, he had his briefs on underneath his tights. Since his briefs were *supposed* to be on the outside now, he had to do a new spin, a double one: first, one to take off his briefs and pants, then a second one to put on his briefs again.
Lois tried to see if he was momentarily naked during his super-changing of clothes, but unfortunately he was much too fast for her. Clark caught her watching him. "Lois? Were you trying to peek?"
"Huh? No!" she said, embarrassed. "Certainly not... Although if you'd only gone a bit slower..."
"Come on, let's get you into a shower," he said, giving her an amused look. He then scooped her up and flew off.
He set them down on his balcony, releasing Lois from his arms. She immediately threw her arms around him in a tight embrace.
"What was that for?" he asked.
She smiled coyly at him. "Now you need a shower too," she said, pointing to the chocolate she had rubbed off on him.
"Lois, I already needed a shower. I've got chocolate all over me, too."
She giggled. "I just thought Superman's clothes should be every bit as chocolatey as Clark's."
He chuckled, scooped her up again, and carried her into his bathroom. He pulled her into the shower and turned it on. While they both stood there, fully dressed, the warm water flowed down and around them.
Lois looked up at him and giggled. "Let's get all that chocolate out of your hair." She poured at least half a bottle of shampoo on his head. It was running down his neck, his face, his shoulders, and his arms. She stood back to inspect her work. She had a huge smile on her face.
"Loiiis! Look what you've done now!"
"Oh, believe me, I'm looking. I'm definitely looking." Hmmm... Do you just wear the red briefs? Or do you have another pair under there someplace, too?" She began laughing.
"No, Lois," he whispered breathlessly. "When I'm Superman, I *only* wear the red briefs on the outside and not a thing inside." He winked at her.
Lois rolled her eyes. "I should have known! Mr. Commando himself." She giggled yet again.
He turned off the water and began spinning again. Water cascaded off him in all directions. It was like looking at a washing machine on spin cycle with no encasement. He was spinning out of his wet (but fast-drying) suit, and Lois caught the merest glimpse of his naked body. She couldn't see any details, just that all of him was the same warm olive color. Then, disappointingly, his midsection became white. When he stopped spinning, he had a towel wrapped around his hips.
Clark was tidily done with his shower, but now, in addition to chocolate, Lois was covered with shampoo from head to toe. Clark grinned, gave her a quick swat on the behind, and said, "I'm all done, m'lady. Superpowers *do* have their advantage. Looks like you are going to be in here a while, though." With that he stepped out of the shower and left the bathroom...
Lois sighed in disgust. 'Must be nice to be able to take a shower in thirty seconds flat.' She quickly finished rinsing off and got out of the shower only to discover that there were no more towels left.
She saw a bathrobe hanging on the back of the door and donned it instead. It was fluffy and soft, and oooh, it smelled of Clark.
"I wonder if he left me no towels on purpose," she muttered to herself. 'Yes, I'm sure he did,' she thought. Sometimes he could have a wicked sense of humor. 'I bet he forgot about the bathrobe. Well, I'll just show him a thing or two. Mmmm... It smells so good! I'll just leave it on!' She opened the door and walked out. "Oh, Claaark...."
Clark did a small double-take when he saw Lois in the bathrobe. She had tied the string so that the robe seemed on the verge of opening a little too much - both above *and* below the string.
"Mmmm, there's such a nice breakfast feeling to this," Clark murmured appreciatively. "Like getting ready in the morning... after... *not* being apart during the night. Sooooo.... Would m'lady like an omelette?" He wielded a spatula in her direction.
"After having eaten a mountain of fudge? Come now, my dear Super Clark, surely you can think of something better than breakfast. Let's start with a shirt and some kind of pants. Okay?" She smiled sweetly at him.
"Mmmm, I kind of like that 'open air' look. It's a great fashion statement. I can see the cover of Metropolis Today - 'Lois Lane Starts the Fashion Rave of the Year'. He turned back to the stove. "Besides, *I* didn't eat a mountain of fudge and I'm hungry!"
Lois made a face and tucked the bathrobe under her as she sat down at the table. "All right, then, make me an omelette. Just one egg. I might as well eat if you're going to."
"One egg omelette coming up," Clark said, as he whipped eggs in a big bowl.
Suddenly the telephone rang. Clark answered.
"Hi, Perry! What? It's Saturday. You know both Lois and I have the day off. What's that? An Elvis sighting? A nine-foot Elvis spotted in Hobb's Bay?" Clark hung-up the receiver and looked at Lois. "You heard?"
"Yep, Flyboy. Put on that flyboy suit of yours and take me back to my apartment so that I can get into some decent clothes. And then let's go Elvis-hunting!"
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tbc
