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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 199
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 199 |
First of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!!!!!!!!  I'm hating Lana  and praying for Clark. I hope he won't fall for her blonde spell and that Lois can win the the prize  /me shoots at Lana and shakes Lois into action Can't wait for the next part. Raquel 
"It's not the years that count, it's the moments, right now as they happen." (Clark Kent to Lois Lane - Brutal Youth - S4)
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587 |
I've known you were working on this, and been dying to see it... and now I have (well, the beginning at least), and it's great! 
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 39
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 39 |
Annie! Wow!  Great start, Annie! Happy Birthday to Sarah, and thanks to both of you, claire
"Perfectionism spells paralysis." - Winston Churchill
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 943
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 943 |
Well, since I'm late to the comment parade yet again,  and I think everyone has probably quoted all of my favourite parts already, I'll just tell you that I really enjoyed this first section, Annie, and I'm looking forward to reading the next. And Lana... Well, I'm ready with all the others to just reach into the depths of my computer screen and wring that scrawny bleached blonde's neck!!! Clark may be Superman, but he's not seeing clearly right now. ![[Linked Image]](http://images.bravenet.com/brpics/smilie/banghead.gif) Like Tank, I haven't decided whether Lois is going to go full frontal attack or the undermining route - I can see great adventures either way. So I'm just looking forward to reading, and I'm so glad that we know that Clark loves Lois, no matter what Lana may think. And Happy Birthday, Sarah! ![[Linked Image]](http://images.bravenet.com/brpics/smilie/cake.gif) ![[Linked Image]](http://images.bravenet.com/brpics/smilie/party.gif) KathyM
"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 299
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 299 |
Your Lana is so awful, that it is difficult to believe that Clark was ever attracted to her.
However, I do hope that Lois understands that if you play fair with people like Lana, you loose straight away, for she doesn't even know that there are rules. So I suggest that she forgets to tell Clark Lana's message!
What if Lois decides to *save* Clark from Lana by showing him that she is attracted to him and they could date in order to find out if they can have a serious realtionship? Lois only aims this be temporary, but with smoochies Clark can convince him otherwise.
Gabriele
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 442
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 442 |
Mere has a point. Clark must have heard that sotto voce remark that Lana made to Lana. And Gabriele has a point, too: how could Clark have possibly been attracted to such a witch? Of course, there's the possibility that Lana's entire story is so much marsh gas...  I admit to being a little ambivalent. Writing CPOV has forever ruined anti-Lana stories for me. OTOH, this looks like it's going to be a fun ride. I think I'll stick around. So let's get MORE! Hazel
Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.
-- Action Comics 827
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767 |
Annie
sorry I'm late commenting
great premise
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH
merry
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 152
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 152 |
Great story so far! I'm loving it! I know everyone has said this already, but you make Lana so  ! Lois wasn’t sure what irritated her more – Lana’s ingratiating voice or Clark’s insipid smile. Stupid Clark! Mean Lana! Poor Lois! “I always have time for an old friend,” Clark said with a smile. Didn't Lana get the hint then that Clark and her were just FRIENDS now! Nothing more! Lois needs to get up there and tell Clark how she really feels about him before he becomes even more stupid and decides to fall for Lana's mischevious plans! Lois looked up from her musing to see Jimmy’s excited smile. “Hi, Jimmy. What’s up?”
“Not much. I was just wondering...who was that hot chick with Clark?” This line portrays Jimmy perfectly! It sounds just like something he'd say! I love it! “Well, he’s definitely not rich, which is a problem of course. But he’s handsome, successful, and the type of guy that will let me stay home but won’t expect me to be his slave ... well, he’s my best prospect and I’m just going to have to settle for that. He seems to be pretty well established at his job even though he hasn’t been here that long. Maybe I can convince him to go into broadcast news once we’re married, he could make more money doing that. He’s certainly good looking enough...oh, yeah, you should see him. He’s even more gorgeous than I remember. He’s shed all those Smallville hick qualities that made me cringe, and he’s just incredible. I’ll tell you, that part of the marriage won’t be a sacrifice.” OOOoo! /me slaps Lana upside the head and tells her what me really thinks of her!!! Anyways great story Annie! Can't read the next part... even though I'm wishing it was already up! *impatiently sighs*
*Blayne*
Clark: You are really high maintenance, you know it?
Lois: But I'm worth it.
Clark: Not exactly what you had in mind, huh?
Lois: Let's see. So far I've been given a glimpse of ritual crop worship, been treated as your girlfriend, and insulted your parents. No, I couldn't have planned this.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 653 Likes: 3
Columnist
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OP
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 653 Likes: 3 |
Wow, thank y'all so much for your incredible feedback. I never expected this sort of response and I'm thrilled that everyone seems to be enjoying it. Opinion on Lana seem to be unanimous: Ahhh, Lois lock that no-good, unemployed blonde in the supply closet and throw away the key!!!
I think you did an excellent job portraying the absolute evilness of Lana... okay maybe not absolute evilness, but I really don't like her.
I've never liked the concept of Lana in every reincarnation of the Superman story--and you've painted her in such a way that lives down to my expectations of her. I have to admit that I wrote this story because I hate Lana and wanted everyone else to hate her too. <G> As for what Lois will do to fight her, well, tune in next time. There is one more thing I wanted to address though - I've heard from a number of people that they assume that Clark heard what Lana said to Lois in the opening scene. I've got back and tweaked that scene a little bit so that it's clearer that he is oblivious. But I just wanted to clarify for the sake of this story that I'm going at this with the assumption that Clark is no more observant than any other typical American male - unless he has a reason to use his superpowers. Thanks again, everyone! Annie
Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description. ~Anna Quindlen
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 151 Likes: 1
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 151 Likes: 1 |
Thank you, twin! And happy birthday to you, too! Sorry I didn't respond earlier, was away on a kayak for my birthday, and I don't have Internet access at my new apartment for another week. Will respond with real comments as soon as I possibly can! (Am responding from work.)
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