This is Part 7 of the Comedy Round Robin. The writers had great fun doing this and we all hope you find it entertaining and funny.
The Writers:
Ann (TOC)
Classicalla
Doc
LoisLane2
MetroRhodes
Edited by Classicalla
The usual disclaimers apply.
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From Part 6
"I've got an idea." Clark took Lois back to earth, grabbed some supplies and headed back into space. He proceeded to construct a floating sign that said 'Construction Detour - follow yellow signs'. He then posted several yellow signs to lead the steam-rollers off track and away from Earth.
As he flew back towards Earth, Clark watched the sky. He realized that ruse hadn't worked. He also thought about the memory of that dream that remained submerged in his subconsciousness.
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Strange Revelations - Round Robin 7/? - The Big Bluff or Steam-Rolled
The huge yellow steam-space-rollers headed toward earth. Clark looked at Lois. "I have to stop them! You stay here!"
Lois wasn't *about* to miss *this* so she hid in one of his larger pockets.
Clark flew into space and punched a hole onto the bridge of the only manned spaceship. He pulled the only 'person' on the bridge into space with him. He quickly sealed the hole so no one would be sucked out into space. He spoke to Top Gun who was about to wet his pants because he thought he was going to die in the vacuum of space. "Cl ic oh bo o bo ba bu!" Which is to say in English - I told you people to bug off! He continued his speech and threats which will be translated into English here. "There's plenty of space out there without you destroying planets and solar systems for an intergalactic highway." He addressed Top Gun. " In case you haven't realized it, *I* am the only reason you have not died here in space." He noticed that the other assorted peoples were watching him with awe from various ports. He said menacingly, "I am Supreme Being Lord Kal-El of the House of El of the Kryptonian people. You think because my planet died that the great Kryptonian keepers of the universe are also dead. You will cease and *you* *will* desist. Keeper Lord Kal-El, Son of Jor-El, has spoken!"
Every so often Lois peeked out from the pocket in his cape. She thought that she must be half in hyperspace in order to fit in his pocket. She couldn't believe her mild mannered husband was speaking with such authority and loudly enough to be heard two galaxies away. She found herself in total awe and was really glad he was one of the nice guys. She found herself rooting as he destroyed all the space vehicles except for the manned one. She sang, "Root, root, root for Lord Kal-El, root, root, root, for..."
When he was done, he returned poor Top Gun, who was very wet now, to his ship. All the peoples acknowledged his greatness and promised to always make sure the intergalactic highway would harm no inhabited solar systems ever again. They turned tail and sped away. He just shrugged. "You were supposed to stay at home, Lois. Well, I got rid of those free loading solar system destroying pigs." He giggled. "I think a couple of them actually were pigs. Did you see them quaking in their boots or what ever they use instead of a boot?" He looked down at his feet. "Oh, look, Lois, my toesies are still free to wiggle about. I forgot my booties."
"Clark, how did you do that?"
"I don't know Lois. It just came from no where - like it was implanted in me at birth or something. It must be true. They ran away after all. Imagine me - Supreme Being Lord Kal-El of the House of El of the Kryptonian people."
Lois made sure her beloved husband saw her as she rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, Clark, you are all bluff."
Clark and Lois returned to the Earth, kissing and making out the entire time. (Unfortunately, Clark deemed it necessary for Lois to keep her clothes on, as she might get too cold, otherwise.)
Finally, Clark and Lois landed on the building where Classic Metro, Toc, Granny and an extremely depressed Perry were still waiting for them. As they touched down, Clark beaming with pride at having single-handedly destroyed an awesome space fleet of yellow steam-rollers by just telling its commander that he, Clark Kent, was Supreme Being Lord Kal-El of the House of El of the Kryptonian people, and Lois beaming with pride for her glorious husband, Granny's trumpet-shaped hearing aid picked up some "oink" sounds from Clark's cape pocket. It turned out that his pocket was full of refugees, or hitch-hikers, from the ruined fleet of steam-rollers.
"Hmmm," said Lois, as she scrutinized the pig-like creatures rather disapprovingly. "I guess they are cute, if you are into pigs. At least I like the polka-dotted ones. Clark, what do you think? Is it safe to let these people - eh, these pigs - loose on the Earth? After all, they were on their way here to steam-roll us out of existence!"
"Well, one thing is for sure. We can't have them running around Earth looking like this," Clark said, looking at Granny.
"Go on, say it. Well, actually Lois has to say it," Granny explained.
"Say what?" Lois asked.
Clark bent down and whispered into her ear for a few minutes and she got a huge silly grin on her face.
"Okay, Granny, we want you to turn these pigs into people. You can make them look like whoever you want, but see those two little piggies over there? The really cute couple paired together with the pink polka-dots? Turn them into Elvis and Priscilla Presley, and give Elvis a lilting voice to match."
Perry perked up at the mention of this and his mouth threatened to curl up into a smile.
"Pigs? In space?" Classic METRO exclaimed as he pulled on one of their little curly tails.
"Oink, oink," CLASSIC Metro said, trying to communicate with them.
"Get out of the way Classic Metro, unless you want me to hit you with my magic wand," Granny told them... er him.
METRO said, "But granny, they are so cute like they are - little piggies with curly tails."
CLASSIC said, "This little piggy went to market... and this little piggy cried all the way home... wee, wee, wee...."
Granny said, "Classic Metro, please let me do my work or you will be a little piggy.. or two." They ...uh...he obligingly moved as uhhhh....he didn't want to be piggies.
As Clark watched Granny try to deal with Classic Metro and all the piggies, he noticed someone standing off to the side watching the proceedings with great interest. He seemed... Was that another refugee??
Granny performed her magic, but unfortunately with Classic Metro, who couldn't help himselves, hanging around hassling the pigs, she got a little confused and made him the one with the lovely lilting Elvis voice and made Elvis sound like Kermit the Frog and Priscilla sound like Miss Piggy. In the process, the Elvis and Priscilla piggies also got Kermit's and Miss Piggy's personalities and they thought that's what they looked like although no one else could see that.
Elvis began to sing, "It's not easy being green..."
Priscilla said, "Oh, Kermie..."
Perry was more depressed than ever now.
Even Toc felt sorry for poor Perry. She sneaked up on him from behind and gave his behind an affectionate little squeeze - just to cheer the poor man up, of course.
Suddenly, a tornado was heard from downtown. It went roaring towards Hobb's Bay, heading straight for Lois, Clark, Granny, Elvis, Priscilla, Classic Metro, Toc and Perry. More precisely, the tornado headed straight for Toc and Perry.
As the tornado reached Toc, it sucked her up and sent her flying right through the stratosphere and out into space. She kept flying until she hit the last of the retreating armada of steam-rollers. Hitting the last of these yellow wrecking machines, Toc ricocheted and zipped straight back to the Earth, where she landed on the mountain of cell phones, notebooks, pencils, lipsticks, tooth picks, combs, coins, subway tokens, female emergency articles and other items that had clogged up Hobb's Bay after falling out of Lois's purse. Fortunately, Toc landed relatively softly, even though she pricked herself on a few tooth picks.
Meanwhile, the tornado had untwisted, revealing itself to be Alice White. She glared and glowered at Perry.
"How... *dare*.... you... let... that... floozy... *touch*... you??????"
"Huh?" said Perry, who had been much too depressed to pay any attention to what was happening to his behind.
While Perry was trying to figure out why Tornado Alice was upset, Naughty Toc waved her wand and her most wonderful piggy post disappeared in a flash. CLASSIC was forced into drastic measures to get Granny to wave her wand again! A portion of the piggy post must reappear!
CLASSIC said, "Alice, Perry loves you and Granny will help make it all better, won't you Granny??
Granny waved her starry wand....
