We dedicate this chapter to LabRat who so works so hard on this site and on the G - PG Archive. Thank you, LabRat!
The Writers:
Ann (TOC)
Classicalla
Doc
LoisLane2
MetroRhodes
Edited by Classicalla
The usual disclaimers apply.
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From Part 8
So they all sat down for a millisecond to have a civilized cup of Hobb's River coffee. Perry had so many cups that he had to run off in search of some *facilities*.
Granny jumped off the egg and started shouting excitedly, "It's hatching. It's hatching!"
Everyone turned in wonder to watch as cracks began to form in the egg....
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Strange Revelations Part 9 - LabRat
Just then a big rat came running out from behind a dumpster and started drinking some of the yummy coffee.
"Eeek a rat!" CLASSICmetro screamed.
"A rat?" classicMETRO exclaimed.
"We're outta here," Classic said.
"We can take piggies, eggs, cows, and a Cat, but not a rat. Ahhhh!" Metro said, running off in the opposite direction of the rat.
"A rat?" Cat said? "I'm up for a hunt."
"Easy, easy," said the rat. "I'm not just any rat. I'm a LabRat, you know?"
"Oh, there you are, LabRat," said Dr. Klein. "I thought I'd never see you again! I've been missing you."
"Yes, that's why I thought you owed me a cup of coffee, at least. And hey, I brought some friends...."
Suddenly, LabRat revealed herself to be a marsupial kind of rat, as she retrieved a flute from her pouch and started playing it. The moment the clear notes from her flute filled the air, millions of rats left their hiding-holes all over Metropolis and made their way towards Hobb's Bay.
"Nooo!!!! Labby! I've told you you can't play with other rats!" yelled Dr. Klein.
"A cat! A cat! My kingdom for a cat!", said a disembodied voice whose owner was anybody's guess. (It was later determined that the voice had been Perry's. He had been using the facilities when a big rat had come straight out of, the, hmmm. Perry had actually said "My King for a cat", and he meant that he was willing to give up his Elvis addiction if somebody sent him a cat.)
"A Cat? That's me! Cat to the rescue! Super-Cat!" And with those words, Catherine Grant transformed herself into a very large, very sleek (though somehow still full-bodied) feline, dressed in a daringly low-cut red and blue supersuit with a large 'C' shield on her chest and back. Claws outstretched, Super-Cat charged meowing into the approaching tidal wave of rats. Soon she was joined by Metropolis's finest, its Department for Pest Control. Its representatives came running into Hobb's Bay, trailing miles and miles of fire hoses behind them.
During the whole scene poor Classic Metro stood on a chair and said, "Rat? Rat? LabRat? Don't we know someone like that? Suddenly the occasional personalities of LabRab and RabLat reared their heads." Together they said, "We'll help stop that SuperCat!" With that LabRab and RabLat ran off to help LabRat fight SuperCat.
Poor Clark wasn't much help during the mêlée. He just stood there watching the egg and scratching his head. "Can someone please tell me how Hatcher got back in the egg?"
Perry ran in and looked at Clark. "Uh, well, Clark, do ya' think maybe.. uh.. that ya' could turn into Superman? All the Hobb's Bay coffee is gone and you need to make a trip to Antarctica!"
Clark said, "You know that I'm Superman, too?" He turned to Lois. "*You* told him! Didn't you?!"
Lois grinned. "Well, I had to do something to entice him back from Piggy Paradise. Knowing you are Superman did the trick!"
Clark just rolled his eyes, turned into Superman, and flew off towards the south pole.
Suddenly Hatcher hatched yet again and out popped - Krypto the Super Dog!
Clark did not fail to notice that Krypto had hatched. He also noticed his little red cape. And that little red cape once more made him think of the dream. Red! Red! Red! He may go nuts if he couldn't figure out what all this meant.
Krypto yipped happily and jumped out to join the cat-and-rat mêlée. But when his immature eyes caught sight of SuperCat's cleavage, something decidedly un-PG happened to his youthful brain. He bounded up to Cat and started licking her ingratiatingly.
Cat snarled and lunged at Krypto with her superclaws. The whelp was invulnerable, however, so there was no harm done, but he automatically curled into a ball, and the ball was sent rolling straight into the water of Hobb's Bay. Correction, the Krypto-ball was sent rolling into the coffee of Hobb's Bay.
Cat proceeded to attack CLASSIC Metro. Before she could do any real harm, however, some of Classic's split personality rubbed off on Cat. She was now Krazy Kat, hopelessly in love with a rat. But since Hobb's Bay was crawling with rats, she had to pick one rat to be her favorite. And the object she chose to project her ardour on was Classic.
Meanwhile, Superman was sort of stuck in Antarctica. The reason was that he had brought Lois along to Antarctica, where there was no-one around to see what they were doing. Let it be said that their activities were fast melting the deep-frozen ice-coffee-berg that had been brought to the South Pole for storage. A narrow stream of polar coffee began flowing from Antarctica towards Metropolis and Hobb's Bay, where it caught one sputtering and yelping little puppy.
The puppy was floundering in the water but after going under two or three times, he realized that he couldn't drown because he was super. During the process he drank lots, and lots, and lots of coffee. He should have been upset over SuperCat's rejection but instead, he became extremely happy, extremely energized, and very, very hyper. He jumped up and down as puppies were prone to do. "Ha pla pla pla pla..." He began trying very hard to catch his little white tail.
Classic Metro - er CLASSIC and METRO were very pleased over Krazy Kat's enamored attention. They were very glad they were really a man (at least in this story) and not a rat. Krazy Kat didn't need to know that though. CLASSIC and METRO decided that their personalities of RabLat and LabRab would no longer come out occasionally. Since they were both aware of each other but the Rats were not aware of them, they decided these four of themselves would always be aware of each other so as to keep Krazy Kat happy. Of course even Classic Metro RabLat LabRab had problems keeping Cat happy...
In the mean time, Krypto the Super Dog, who was still hyped up from being caught in the Hobb's Bay lake of coffee, kept chasing his tail faster and faster until he whipped up a little hurricane which threw coffee over the the entire eastern coast of North America, all of the Carribean, part of the Gulf of Mexico and eastern coast of South America, and part of the western coast of Africa. For some reason only bits and pieces of the Hurricane reached Europe - Great Britain and Sweden, although how a hurricane managed to hit Sweden, was anybody's guess. Could be because it was Hurricane Krypto. Of course, no one was hurt in the hurricane and there wasn't any real damage. There was just lots and lots of coffee everywhere - except Metropolis. Metropolis was a coffee free zone. It was evident that Dr. Klein was going to have to go about distributing Lois' nylons...
Lois and Clark finally started back to Metropolis - coffeeless, as they had melted it all. They didn't notice the hurricane til they flew by Puerto Rico. Clark used his special vision to see Metropolis and his ornery little son Krypto the Super Dog at the bottom of Hobb's Bay going around and around in circles desperately trying to catch his tail. Where was Hobb's Bay? Oh, he could see being a parent was going to be fun... "Lois!!! Oh, no!!!! We forgot to get a big white pill from Granny. By the way, did you know we were parents to a dog?"
"Oh, that's all right, Clark," said Lois. "I love all my kids, no matter what they look like." She scratched Krypto behind the ear affectionately, and he licked her face as if she had been his favorite ice cream flavor (Bitch Frolic Doggie-Doo) from the Fudge Castle. "But I'm a little worried about how many new little ones we're going to have the day after tomorrow. Let's ask Granny."
They returned to a coffee-drained Metropolis, where Dr. Klein was busily distributing pieces of Lois's purse-enchanted ripped nylons to use as coffee filters in households all over the caffeine-deprived city. Of course this did seem a little odd since Metropolis was coffee-less, but something had to be done with all those ripped nylons.
Granny was looking after all twenty-four little Kentlets (that is, she was looking after all of them except Krypto, who did pretty well on his own). Granny had grown eleven pairs of extra arms, so that she had one arm available for each little Kent baby. (Granny had also grown one unmatched extra arm, so that she could hold her favorite coffee-cup in it. She didn't need Lois' nylons to filter her coffee, as the invigorating drink was constantly dripping from a tap at the end of her broomstick.)
"Granny, I forgot your big white pill this time," Lois confessed with blushing cheeks. "So how many babies am I going to have this time?"
tbc
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