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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020 |
 I am enjoying the way you are developing this. Now if he could just call an dump Lana. That way I could sneak over there tonight and take a look at things myself first, without anyone around to hamper me from using my abilities.
Lois looks like she’s about to object, but surprisingly she doesn’t. “Yeah, Clark’s probably right, Jimmy. I’ll call you later tonight to go over some of those test results from S.T.A.R. Labs, okay?” she smiles at him super-sweetly.
“Uh, sure, okay,” Jimmy says with a funny tone in his voice. Is there something going on here that I’m missing?  Oh yes, I figure this would be a really good time for Lois to watch Clark float down from the sky. Still no Superman, but Lois knows!!!  Lets see, Clark will have Mad Dog Lane and a very angry Lana Lang to deal with. It would be so nice if Lana could dump Clark in the middle of his being yelled at by Mad Dog Lane. There is a scene in a Brin SF novel where two females are settling the hero's relationships and he asks if he has any say and both shout NO! and turn back to their bickering. Loving the story and I know you will work it out better than I can imagine.
Framework4
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Excellent...that was pretty much what came out of my mouth at the end hah. Okay, I'm not quite sure what will be worse: Lana finding out that Clark is an extra-terrestrial, Lois finding out about Lana, or Lana also finding out about Lois. Clark's seriously dug himself into a hole.
Jen
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hey, Metro, keep it coming! This is a cool insight into Clark's character and his own ambivalence in not telling the women in his life the whole truth. At this point in his life, he really should come clean with Lana, but Lois hasn't earned his trust yet. She's getting there, but right now he has no guarantee that she won't print the story and run with the Pulitzer.
But, like Framework4 and Jen, I can envision Lana and Lois scant micrometers from each other, screaming at each other at the tops of their lungs, extending their claws and brandishing their fangs, while Clark cringes away from the awful carnage to come. Keep it up! You've got my attention.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
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Oh,my my my my my....
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
Oh, my my my my my...
I do so love this story....
YEAH!! DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jun 2006
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Hi! Love, loved this part.  I mentally kick myself for my audacity. I have got to get a handle on this. What about Lana? Somewhere a voice in my head asks me, ‘But is she really the one?’ He's having doubts again and Lois is causing him feel more uncertain towards Lana being 'the one'. “Why not?” she asks, looking suspicious. Why is she always so suspicious of me? Is she just that way with everyone? I’d really like to find a way to earn her trust. Does that mean he wants to know Lois a lot better? He said he'd find a way, I don't know but that to me means he's going to dump Lana. Don't prolong the agony Clark.  So you're going to make us wait? I don't know where exactly you're going but have fun and be safe! P.S. Thanks for clearing up those snacks for me. I've never had any of those things (except the cereals) We don't have them over here. Maybe I've eaten them similar to what you have described but with a different brandname. Are those really what they are called? Like say Ding-Dongs, here they are not icing-filled chocolate cakes but a bag of mixed nuts. 
You're the icing on my cake.
What's that?
Chocolate, of course.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10 |
Awww.... What a sweet part! ![[Linked Image]](http://www.cosgan.de/images/smilie/liebe/s020.gif) I follow Lois’ gaze from my face, down to my waist, and back up again. “I said nine. I thought you’d be naked... Erm, ready.” Her face is bright red with heat. She looks like she’s pretty freshly out of the shower herself; I can smell the light flowery fragrance of soap on her. I feel some heat of my own starting, but not in my face. WOW! It's getting HOT! Clark in nothing but a towel is so yummy...  “Well, I think for just ‘some’ that you look pretty great yourself,” I say and smile at her. She smiles back at me, a little color coming into her cheeks again.
I mentally kick myself for my audacity. I have got to get a handle on this. What about Lana? Somewhere a voice in my head asks me, ‘But is she really the one?’ If you have doubts, it means she is not the one.  Come on, Clark, dump Lana pronto! “Then why don’t we go get some dinner while we’re waiting for it to get dark?” I ask her. Gah! What am I saying? I’m practically asking her out on a date. Clark, you idiot! Lana will kill you if she ever finds out. Clark, you idiot! Lana can't kill you. You're invulnerable. Duh!  When are you going to dump Lana? Andreia 
"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."
~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
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I see Clark didn't listen to me when I told him to run away from Lana  Ah well, at least he seems to be heading in the right direction even if he can't see it yet. Another great part, DJ! Jackie
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Thanks for the fdk everyone!!! Now to address a couple of things... Framework4 Call and dump Lana? Wow! That's pretty cold! Of course she's pretty cold herself... Catfight? Hee hee. That would have been funny, but nope, don't think that was in the script this go around... Shadow BIG HOLE!!! Big, big, hole... Although they might not turn out exactly how you'd think... Terry Hi! Thanks for the compliments! Yeah, wouldn't that be a great story for a pulitzer... there are aliens living among us... You all seem very interested in a catfight. I'm going to have to keep that in mind for a later story I can see... Nancy - you are so funny! Hee hee! Thanks! Spark - Oooh, ouch, sorry about the sleep comment there, well I didn't say it after all... Clark did. I can smell the light flowery fragrance of soap on her. I feel some heat of my own starting, but not in my face.
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Where?? Hee.Hee.  Uh, sorry, this is the PG folder.... “Lois?”
“Yes?” she asks, hesitantly opening her eyes to look at me.
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
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Oh wow! I love this part! A few paragraphs up I really thought he's going to kiss her but then you make Clark stop! Thanks! Glad you liked that! So you're going to make us wait? I don't know where exactly you're going but have fun and be safe! Yeah, sorry, I have a wedding to go to out of state. My cousin's getting married. But I'll be back Sunday and part 5 will go up then. Andreia - Clark, you idiot! Lana can't kill you. You're invulnerable. Duh! Don't be a chicken. Get rid of her! Ha ha ha! 
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Great part. “Lois?”
“Yes?” she asks, hesitantly opening her eyes to look at me.
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
The honking of a horn interrupts our conversation. It’s a limo. This is worst than telling Lana the truth. More ASAP, please. MAF
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
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Nice chapter, Metro! “Lois is there?” Mom asks. I think Martha's motherly intuition is kicking in. What *is* wrong with me? This is not your girlfriend, I tell myself. You don’t have the right to tell her who she can and can’t go out with. You would do better to keep your mind on your own girlfriend. Clark, you demoted Lana from girlfriend to just a woman-who-isn't-Lois two days ago. You just haven't realized it yet. Lois looks like she’s about to object, but surprisingly she doesn’t. “Yeah, Clark’s probably right, Jimmy. I’ll call you later tonight to go over some of those test results from S.T.A.R. Labs, okay?” she smiles at him super-sweetly.
“Uh, sure, okay,” Jimmy says with a funny tone in his voice. Is there something going on here that I’m missing? Yes, there is something, but I haven't caught it either. But there definitely is something. "I’m not exactly sure Lex could be that honest with me.” and "He stole more than my story from me that night, though. He stole the remainder of my innocence, and he stole some of my faith in people.” These are two thoughts that I wouldn't expect from Lois at this stage. She usually isn't this insightful, or maybe she is but we rarely hear her say it. This is a nice change. I haven’t been totally honest with her... When she finds out about Lana, she’d never trust me again. Yep, so you need to drop Lana quick. What did I allow to almost happen? I’ve taken this emotionally delicate woman into my hands and betrayed her trust, like others had done before me. I belong to someone else. I can’t allow this to continue any further. This is why we love Clark. We don't like that he is with Lana, but we do love that he always tries to do the right thing. Looking forward to more when you return from your trip!
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,269 |
Great chapter. Clark doesn't have to worry about breaking up with Lana, the minute he puts on the suit she'll break up with HIM>
Can't wait till the next part!
Chris
"Together we are stronger than each of us is apart"
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Ugh, I'm so terrible at posting FDK these days, as time is just running away from me and I'm beginning to feel exhausted. First of all, though, thanks to everyone who posted FDK on this story! Oh, and yes, I loved that scenario you suggested where Lois and Lana are having a catfight to determine which of them is going to be with Clark... except I don't believe that men are as helplessly at the mercy of women as you suggested when it comes to deciding who their girlfriends will be! By the way, the catfight was Andreia's choice of words, wasn't it? I loved your icon, too! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Of course, while I loved the delicious sweet sexiness of the towel scene, I also completely loved this little aftermath: When I come back into the room, Lois is sitting on the couch staring – dreamily? - up at the ceiling. What is she thinking about, I wonder? I cause myself to blush. “Ahem,” I clear my throat. The sweetness and innocence of their attraction for each other, and the way they are longing for each other - I completely love it. I also totally, totally loved it that Lois told Clark so openly about herself and Claude, and how incredibly deeply that particular betrayal had hurt her. I loved it that she told him how much she needed honesty and openness from any man she would consider entering into a relationship with. I loved Clark's guilt: Her admission cuts me to the bone. I haven’t been totally honest with her. I’ve wanted her trust and now I would never have it. When she finds out about Lana, she’d never trust me again. Clark finds himself unable to offer Lois the truth about himself - and there are two big things he ought to tell her, aren't there? But if he can't be honest with her, he also can't resist comforting her: She raises her hand and stretches out a finger, pointing to the building in front of us. “This is me. I’m in apartment five-oh-one.” Her voice sounds shaky and delicate, not at all like the intrepid reporter I was talking to last night.
I find myself wanting desperately to hold her, to comfort her. But I can’t. I know I can’t. But would it be so wrong? She is a friend and she’s in pain. I would only be offering a little support, a little sympathy. So he thinks he isn't going to embrace her. Surprise, Clark. Your subconscious self has already made the decision for you: Before I even realize what I’m trying to convince myself of, I find my arm going around her, across her back, involuntarily. And much to both my delight and my dismay, I find her turning into my embrace and resting her head on my shoulder. I slide my other arm around her and fold her into my arms, holding her close. I'm a total, total sucker for these moments, when Clark just holds Lois close and offers her comfort. Of course, these sweet embraces so easily escalate into something more: She lifts her face from my shoulder and looks into my eyes. I feel as if she can see into my mind, my very thoughts. Can she see what I’m feeling?
She begins to lean up towards me. What is she doing?
What do you think she’s doing, my mind berates me.
Her mouth is mere inches from mine and her eyes are beginning to close. I find myself being pulled towards her. Yes, I want this. Her lips look so inviting; the sound of her hurried breathing so intoxicating. This is just beautifully written, DJ. I'd like to repeat what I've said before, that to me there is a wonderful innocence about the kiss they are on the verge of sharing. They are innocently responding to the irresistible pull of their soulmate bond, and I look on, holding my breath, so I won't disturb them. But Clark stops: I close the remaining distance between our mouths, our lips almost touching, when I finally hear my mind screaming through the emotions flooding through me. No! Stop! What are you doing? I halt and open my eyes – not realizing I had even closed them. I look down into her trusting face. What did I allow to almost happen? I’ve taken this emotionally delicate woman into my hands and betrayed her trust, like others had done before me. I belong to someone else. I can’t allow this to continue any further. I sometimes get really irritated at Clark when he interrupts the fun things that he is about to do with Lois. This time there is no irritation. He stops because he cares, because he doesn't want to hurt Lois, and the beautiful thing is that you make me feel how much he cares, DJ. Like Lisa said, this time we must love him because of his wish to do the right thing. And he realizes that the right thing in this case is to tell Lois "something": “Lois?”
“Yes?” she asks, hesitantly opening her eyes to look at me.
“There’s something I need to tell you.” I so wonder what he was going to tell her. Lois, I'm engaged, we can't let this go any further? Yes, that's probably what he was going to say. Or was it, Lois, I'm not like other people, I'm not from the Earth and I have some amazing abilities? No, I doubt that. Anyway, the decision about what he should tell Lois was taken out of his hands: The honking of a horn interrupts our conversation. It’s a limo. “That’s Lex’s limo,” she explains, hurriedly. “I’ve gotta go. I’m sorry, can we finish this later?” Lex's limo! Yikes! I'm sure wondering where you are going to take this. I feel pretty confident that this Lois isn't going to fall for Lex, but she still doesn't realize that he is dangerous. Will he try to hurt her? Kidnap her? Or will she escape unhurt and go to EPRAD with Jimmy to snoop around, only to get to watch Clark in super-action? I really, really want to see where you are taking this, DJ, but don't hold your breath for quick and thorough feedback. And sorry, DJ, but my final words in this post must be for Andreia. I didn't think Clark was particularly lunkheaded in this part of DJ's story, but I nevertheless loved, loved, loved your icon of that Doctor writing out a prescription for an antidote for Clark's lunkheadedness!  Ann
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Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020 |
Call and dump Lana? Wow! That's pretty cold! [Wink] Of course she's pretty cold herself... Well it has been made clear he can't talk to her in person. She RUNS things when they are together, he does stuff behind her back. If he was able to talk with her at all, she'd already know about the powers.
Framework4
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I love this story! I'm very sorry that I have no time to give proper feedback, but I read every post!  Simona
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Oooh, goodie! Lookie lookie! I come back from the wedding I went to and there is all this wonderful fdk waiting for me. Yippee! Hi Maria! Thanks for the fdk!! Interesting! Where does he feel the heat? Again, I repeat - this is the PG folder. Tee hee. I couldn't really go *there*. Mrs. Mosley -- Clark, you demoted Lana from girlfriend to just a woman-who-isn't-Lois two days ago. You just haven't realized it yet. That made me laugh - woman-who-isn't-Lois. Ha ha! This is why we love Clark. We don't like that he is with Lana, but we do love that he always tries to do the right thing. Yes, so true... Looking forward to more when you return from your trip! Good, I'm getting ready to post part 5 shortly! ChaaBreh - thanks for the fdk - and yes, how true. The Lana from Tempus anyone dropped him faster than a hot potato when she saw the suit, didn't she? But in my story, she'll see him in a little different way when she see's him in the suit... and that's all I'm gonna say about that. Ann -- First of all, though, thanks to everyone who posted FDK on this story! I love hearing what others thought about a particular story. That helps me seeing possibilities that are there in the story but that I didn't catch on my own. I know what you mean. It always amazes me to see what people come up with. And then I end up thinkg - wow, look at some of the directions I could have gone, but didn't. Yes, we all love the towel scene - have you actually *seen* that scene Ann? I know you haven't seen many of the actual eps... you don't know what you're missing... This is just beautifully written, DJ. I'd like to repeat what I've said before, that to me there is a wonderful innocence about the kiss they are on the verge of sharing. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed that scene. You know how good I am at the "lead up". I really, really want to see where you are taking this, DJ, but don't hold your breath for quick and thorough feedback. Okay, I'll try to be patient... really, I will... I nevertheless loved, loved, loved your icon Yes, Andreia! Oh, my, goodness, I forgot to tell you how much I always love all of your icons. They are so cute and funny, and that one was great! Thanks for those. If he was able to talk with her at all, she'd already know about the powers. You know, you may be on to something there... hee hee. Simona -- I love this story! I'm very sorry that I have no time to give proper feedback, but I read every post! Awww, thanks Simona!!! I'm just glad to know that you're reading. Thank you all for your wonderful fdk. I'm off to post part 5 now!!!
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Oh the walking home scene still gets to me. Even after reading it four times. I love it and I love Lois confession what she wants in a relationship. And the talking about what had hurt her still brings tears to my eyes. Perfectly written and the best walking home scene I've read so far. So tell me again why did Lex have to disturb this?
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Thank you Tahu! I know you can't see this, but I'm totally blushing! Perfectly written and the best walking home scene I've read so far. WOW!!! So tell me again why did Lex have to disturb this? Because that's just the kind of guy he is. Thank you!!!
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,109 Likes: 41
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,109 Likes: 41 |
Wheee! Marathon feedback time! (I'm a bit tired, though, so we'll see how far I get. I mentally kick myself for my audacity. I have got to get a handle on this. What about Lana? Somewhere a voice in my head asks me, ‘But is she really the one?’ Who cares about Lana?! Lois looks like she’s about to object, but surprisingly she doesn’t. “Yeah, Clark’s probably right, Jimmy. I’ll call you later tonight to go over some of those test results from S.T.A.R. Labs, okay?” she smiles at him super-sweetly.
“Uh, sure, okay,” Jimmy says with a funny tone in his voice. Is there something going on here that I’m missing? Ooh! Am I right in assuming that's Lois Code Speak for "Jimmy, bring your camera and meet me at EPRAD tonight"? But on the important stuff... there has to be honesty. I’m not exactly sure Lex could be that honest with me.”
Her admission cuts me to the bone. I haven’t been totally honest with her. I’ve wanted her trust and now I would never have it. When she finds out about Lana, she’d never trust me again. Ooh boy. Not to mention that flying bit, too. “What happened?” I ask softly.
“One night, when he finally broke down my defenses completely, we...” she looks away from me before continuing, “...and the next morning I woke up and both he, and the story I was working on, were gone. I found out later when I came in to work that he had submitted it as his own.” Hmm... I'm wondering if Lois would really open up this much without the threat of death hanging over her like in the series. Before I even realize what I’m trying to convince myself of, I find my arm going around her, across her back, involuntarily. And much to both my delight and my dismay, I find her turning into my embrace and resting her head on my shoulder. I slide my other arm around her and fold her into my arms, holding her close. Wheee! I can forgive that for the hug. *g* What do you think she’s doing, my mind berates me.
Her mouth is mere inches from mine and her eyes are beginning to close. I find myself being pulled towards her. Yes, I want this. Her lips look so inviting; the sound of her hurried breathing so intoxicating. Ooh! Do it! I halt and open my eyes – not realizing I had even closed them. I look down into her trusting face. What did I allow to almost happen? I’ve taken this emotionally delicate woman into my hands and betrayed her trust, like others had done before me. I belong to someone else. I can’t allow this to continue any further. Hmm... yeah, I was shamelessly cheering for the kiss, but I think it's almost too much too soon - as far as I'm not sure they'd both get to this point of almost kissing. I'll go with it for now, though. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
The honking of a horn interrupts our conversation. It’s a limo. D'oh!  Great, I get to put off my confession, yet again. I wanted so badly to come clean with her tonight. It would only get harder the longer I wait. Well, you COULD break up with Lana, then there'd be nothing to tell.  Off to part 5...
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