All right guys this is the final chapter. We worked hard on this and I really hope you like the last chapter. I like feedback!! I'm sure the other authors do, too. I'd be pleased if you gave us nothing more than a smily face - or a frowny face, but since this is the last chapter, anything would be appreciated.
This is the last part of the Comedy Round Robin.
Utopia has come about!
The Writers:
Ann (TOC)
Classicalla
Doc
LoisLane2
MetroRhodes
Edited by Classicalla
The usual disclaimers apply.
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From Part 10
"It's fun being parents, isn't it?"
"Hmmmmmmmmm," Lois purred and beamed at Clark, looking absolutely blissful.
"But I've been thinking," Clark said. "We need more space now that there are forty-four of us. Our apartments really won't do anymore."
"Yeah, especially since I guess we'll have to have four more uplets," said Lois. "Two more boys and two more girls. After all, what will our parents say if we have no kids named Martha, Jonathan, Ellen and Sam?"
"Four more kids, then," Clark agreed. "This all kind of feels like a dream, doesn't it, Lois?" Dream? When would he figure that dream out? "So how do we get ourselves a bigger place to live?"
"Land, Miss Teschmacher, land!" It was Lex Luthor's ghostly voice that echoed down Hobb's Bay.
"Land!" Lois exclaimed. "Clark, I've got it! You know that enormous pile of stuff that came out of my purse, and is still clogging up Hobb's Bay?"
"Yes....?"
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Strange Revelations - Round Robin Part 11 - Utopia "Well, why don't we turn that into our own... I don't know, Utopia? All that stuff is mine anyway! And think how great it would be to use all that to build your own perfect world! The soil itself would be full of necessities like cell phones, lipsticks, pencils, notebooks, female emergency necessity items and all the Double Fudge Crunch Bars you can eat! There may even be some packages of instant coffee and instant water left somewhere! Anything we want, anytime we want it, there it is!"
"Hmmm," Clark said, liking Lois's train of thought more and more. "Our very own Utopia...."
"And there will be room for all the uplets! And for the four little newbies too! And for Granny! And for Perry! And for Alice!"
"Hey, we can even spare a room for Robin - and our girl Batman! They are expecting, you know!!"
"We're going to be grandparents!!"
"Yes! We are."
"And there will be room for Classic Metro! And for Cat! And for the Doctor! And for LoisLane2. And for Toc!"
"Toc? Lois, I *really* don't know about Toc...."
"Don't worry, Caitlyn will keep her in line!"
Right then, in a cloud of black smoke, the evil witch of the east appeared before them.
But coming in right behind her was Granny, followed by Lola.
"See, see Granny! I told you! A wich! A wich!" Lola said, still crying.
"Yes, dear, and that's wiTch," Granny corrected Lola. Then she turned to the witch. "Now listen here, Lois and Clark have worked hard to get to their Utopia, and you're not going to ruin it now. We've come to happiness ever after. Be gone, before someone drops a house on you, too!" Granny waved her magic wand menacingly.
The witch cowered in fear, jumped on her broom and flew back through the porthole, closing it behind her.
"Well, I think it's about time for me to be getting back to hyperspace now. After taking care of all these uplets I think I've earned a vacation, and I don't think you two will be needing me anymore."
"Goodbye Granny!" Clark said.
"Come back and visit us anytime," Lois chimed in.
"Okay, Lois, let's go back to planning Utopia. We can build a parlour for Perry!"
"And an atrium for Alice!"
"A Batcave for Batman! Uh... the other Batman."
"And a nest for Robin!" Right then Lois and Clark became grandparents!! Robin and Batman were ecstatically happy. They had just had their own little uplets - quadr-uplets that is... Dick, Grayson, Bruce, and Wayne. A troupe of little boys.
"We're grandparents, Clark!!
They giggled and sang together, "Ma ma ma mama Batman!"
"Batman and Robin definitely need that nest!"
"How about a Lane for Wisteria!?"
"And an attic for Toc! Full of inflatable life-size Superman dolls!"
"Clark!!!!"
"And a cottage for Granny!"
"But she's in hyperspace. Oh! But not our part of hyperspace."
"She's gonna visit. She'll need that cottage."
"How about a rainbow with a treasure at the end of it? A never-ending treasure."
"An endless supply of ever-multiplying gold coins from your purse."
"A treasure for Long John Silver."
"A treasure for everybody!"
"And somewhere over the rainbow, a penthouse for Dorothy and her friends!"
"And a room full of mirrors for Classic Metro!"
"And a hat for Cat!"
"Two moons for the Goons!"
"And a boss for an Oz!"
"And a blizzard for a wizard! A tiny one!"
"And a parcel for a castle for the Wizard! For Ozzie!"
"For Ozzie? Clark, why do we want Ozzie Osbourne here?"
"Can't he come for a visit? I'm sure he can stay with the Wizard...."
"Or maybe he can have his own Gothic manor?"
"How about the Osmonds? A little bit country!! A little bit rock' n' roll!!
"Ozzie meets the Osmonds in a Pepsi Palace!"
"How about a hit record for Ozzie and the Osmonds?"
"Ozzie and the Osmonds sing together. I like it!!"
"And a rab for a Lat! Eh, I mean, a lab for a Rab! A rab for a Lab! Eh, a lab for a Rat!"
"And a tank for a tank. I mean a tank for Tank!!"
"What about Ratte Latte?! She's been looking for a job."
"She can work in one of the coffee bars. Free coffee for everyone in Utopia!!"
"How about a mini-Graceland for Elvis!"
"A mini-Graceland? Clark, he'll never want to come here. Where would he put Priscilla and the 136 piglets?"
"How about we build a hyperspace extension to it?"
"Hyperspace???? Clark, that's OUR place!!!! They'd be everywhere!! What if Elvis and Priscilla, not to mention the 136 piglets, come by when we....???"
"Okay, okay, no Graceland here then! They can stay in their own little Piggy Utopia."
"But they can visit our Utopia and we can visit their Utopia anytime we want!!"
"Especially when Colonel Perry is lonely and wants to see Elvis!!"
"How about we build a a lot of condominiums which rent at really low prices for people with low income? Surely we don't want to shut the rest of the world out from Utopia?"
"No, of course not! Great idea! And if they can't afford the rent, it will be free! Shelter is a necessity!!"
"And then we need parks! And schools!"
"And farms! And libraries! And guided tours of Hobbs Bay!"
"How about a House for Luthor!?"
"Lois, have you lost your mind?"
Clark stared at Lois and Lois stared back.
Together they said, "Naaaaahhh...."
"What was I thinking, Clark?"
"And tennis courts for Tennis Borgs and Star Trek Borg! A perpetual tennis match and everyone wins!"
"And fun places for everyone! Utopia-Disney!
"And the best Fudge Castle ice cream in the universe! And, oh, we can have our very own Fudge Castle in our living room!"
"And supermarkets!"
"Supermarkets? Clark, that's not very Utopia-like!"
"Oh, but these are going to be - Super! You know - where everybody will always get enough to eat."
"Okay, then - how can I resist you, my very own Super Clarkie-Pooh?"
"Pooh! Winnie needs honey!
"Christopher Robin can meet Batman's Robin!"
Everyone was so happy about Utopia that they all pitched in to help out. Everything would be just perfect.
Then, Clark and Lois, with all their prams, linked arms and waved the rest of the group over. ClassicMetro, Cat, Naughty Toc, Dr. Klein, Alice, Perry, Doc, and LoisLane2 all linked arms in one long line and broke into a rendition of:
"We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz, we find he is a wiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was. If ever oh ever a wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because, because because because because, because... because of the wonderful things he does..."
And they skipped happily on the everlasting yellow brick road towards the setting sun ...and the rising sun. Their destination would always be Utopia.
And in Utopia, Wisteria found true love with Airetsiw.*
Batman and Robin nested in their nest and were the happy parents of two set of quadruplets: Dick, Grayson, Bruce, Wayne, Winnie, Pooh, Kanga and Roo.
And Lois had her next four babies - Martha, Ellen, Jonathan, and Sam.....
And in Utopia, everyone was happy.
A few months later an odd little man and a strange one arrived in Metropolis to visit Utopia.
ClassicMetro, because he was so happy, welcomed the arrival of the visitors, as he welcomed all visitors. He looked at the odd little man and said, "I know you, I think." He paused for a moment of thought and said, "You are Sergeant Herbert and you were working at the front desk of the police station when I came to visit Inspector Henderson."
Sergeant 'Herbert' nodded. "Yes, I was watching certain events."
ClassicMetro didn't question that or the reason that Sergeant Herbert was so oddly dressed. It was just one more thing to add to his 'varied' experiences.
During this interaction, Clark also walked up to also welcome the visitors. ClassicMetro noted that Clark, who everyone now knew was Superman, seemed to want to talk to the odd little fellow alone, so he took the strange one with him for a tour of Utopia.
Clark pointed at 'Sergeant Herbert'. "You were watching when Granny performed her Piggy magic. You were also at the Fudge Castle when the 25 uplets were born." The gentleman nodded. "You're H.G. Wells. And, that's... that's..." He paused then said, "Herb? Why did you bring him here?"
"Well, my dear boy, I wasn't even sure you would remember Tempus - or even me. I assume that since you remember us, you also remember that Tempus tried to kill you as a baby?" Clark nodded. "Well, he continued his efforts to destroy the possibility of Utopia until he succeeded. You see, Tempus made sure that Lois Lane was actually in love with Lex Luthor and that she actually married him. Lex had convinced her that *he* was Superman and while Lois knew Superman wasn't really real - it was just something the man underneath did - she also knew it was her destiny to marry the man that was Superman. By the time she realized Lex wasn't Superman, it was too late. He had k..."
"Wait! Are you telling me that Lois married Lex in an alternate timeline? And we never got married?"
"Yes, yes, yes. Anyway, Lex killed you. You see originally it would have been a few more years before you and Lois actually got married. Because Lois married Lex, and you died, Utopia never came about. Myself and others tried every conceivable thing we could think of to fix it."
Herb continued. "We finally realized that 42 was the answer. It's the answer to everything, you see. So after 137 tries at fixing time that had so horribly gone wrong, we realized that Utopia must come about much, much, much sooner. That was the only way to fix things and that was the only way to prevent Tempus from becoming evil. Now, all he has known is good. He has never known anything but Utopia. Even now, all he knows is Utopia. Originally, when I brought him to Metropolis to learn about you and Lois, Utopia had not yet come about. He saw the evil here, and he became evil himself. In order for Utopia to come about more quickly, Lois needed to find out about you sooner, and we knew that you were very reluctant to tell her. So we worked on a few scenarios, and finally we found the one that would work. We implanted a strange dream in your head that would compel you to wear your red underwear on the outside of your civilian clothes the next time you saw Lois. And we knew that as soon as Lois saw you like that, that she would understand the truth."
"You caused the dream?!"
Herb nodded. "That I did my boy, that I did."
"And wearing red briefs on the outside of my jeans caused Utopia to come about?"
"For the most part, yes. Of course, don't forget that 42 is the answer to everything. 42 uplets to fight the Borg, who of course now are peaceful and living in Utopia. They have no more desire to assimilate everyone. No longer any need for resistance to be futile."
"How did they escape the black hole?"
"Because of Utopia, and, oh of course, because 42 is the answer to everything."
"So Captain Kirk doesn't die every time he kisses a woman now? Did he ever become normal size again?"
"He kisses many women now, and yes, yes, he's unshrunk now. But then of course, Captain Kirk really lives on a horse farm in Kentucky."
"Huh?"
"It's a paradox, Clark. Don't try to understand it."
"Okay, Herb, if 42 is the answer, then why do we have 46 children?"
"Well, you had to have four children named after your parents. They would have been upset, if you didn't. We can't have any rifts in Utopia, now can we?"
"Yes, you're right, Herb. Thanks for explaining this to me. That dream was about to split my personality."
"Why, yes, Clark, if that's what you would like. That's one of the fringe benefits of Utopia! See an Expand to let your inner selves out! Actually turn into more than one person if you like. See a Shrink if you want to put them back. Why you can lie on the couch of your mind and be what-ever or who-ever you want. Just so long as it's in the realm of goodness, it's yours!!"
ClassicMetro is a together kind of person, now. But all those other personalities - they are as free as can be. LabRab, RabLat, BlabRat, RatLat, RabMab, MabLat, MadRat, RabMat, Elvisito, Elivisita, Sweet Ann, Swede Ann, Suede Ann, Psuedonann, Spleenish, Splat, The Doctor, the Disc Jockey and DJ, the Rhode Rummer, the Nutty Nurse, Tank, Windy Wendy, SmithNan, Ssue, LaneLois 2nd..... uh and however many more of them there are are happy. Happy to be. Happy to live. Happy now that Utopia encompasses all of Earth... all of the universe...."
Tempus was done with his tour and walked up to Clark. "I'm so pleased to meet you, Mister Kent. You don't know what an inspiration you have been to me."
Herb said to Clark, "Well, we must be going now. Cheerio." As they were leaving, Clark heard H.G. Wells explain Utopia to Tempus. "There are so many wonderful things about Utopia...."
"The other Batman has his Batcave."
"And Robin and Batman have their nest. And their nest is full of nestlings."
"And the doctor draws seductive pictures..."
"And LaneLois the 2nd writes lots of paragraphs..."
"Wisteria lives on a lane with Airetsiw."*
"And Toc has her toys."
"And there is a house for a mouse! And some cheese for some bees! And a bog for a frog! And a boss for an Oz! And a blizzard for a wizard! A tiny one!"
"And Ozzie and the Osmonds did another commercial for Pepsi...."
"And they sang together and it was a hit!"
"And a card for a Bard! Hey, Shakespeare! And a buck for a duck! A rubber duckie! And a prince for a day! And a girl to come play! And a story or another! And a sweet baby brother!"
"And a rab for a Lat! Eh, I mean, a lab for a Rab! A rab for a Lab! Eh, a lab for a Rat! Eh..." Herb briefly paused while he unwound his tongue.
Then he said, "And that's the way Lois and Clark and Superman and the forty-six-uplets formed Utopia. Isn't it wonderful, Tempus?!"
Tempus wholeheartedly agreed. After all, he was Caitlyn's descendant.
Herb smiled and he waved his arm as if to encompass all of Utopia and said in summation, "And there is no hunger and there is no greed and all of the children know how to read...."**
"We... are.... off to see the Wizard, the wonderful wizard of Id, of Oz, of Ozzie, the Osmonds, and Pepsi and Granny 'cause she's the Wiz. And Elvis and Piggy's, and Toc, and Doc, and DJ, and Classic and Metro, too. We're off to see the Wizard because she's on the yellow brick road. And Two she wrote a paragraph or two, you see, she's on the road. And on the road we dance and sing and write and draw and sing. And sing and write and say to you, we're on the road to Utopia. Because, because, because, because the road is yellow you see. Around and 'round Hobb's Bay we go, we're on the road to Utopia. A Fudge Castle here, a Double Crunch Bar there, coffee here, and instant water there. We're on the road to see it all, we're on the road, we're on the road. We're on the road, we're on the road, the Wizard for to see. We're on the road, we're on the road, Utopia is always the goal. We're off to see the Wizard every day, you see. We... are... off to see the Wizard, the wonderful....."
THE END
*If you don't get the joke, then you'll have to leave feedback to find out...
**Gene Roddenberry on his vision of the future
