Table of Contents From Part 5:
“Goodnight, Lois.”
“Goodnight, Clark. Get some sleep. We’ve got a busy day tomorrow. We’ve gotta write up this story and get it to Perry.”
We? We’ve got to write up the story? She wanted a partner on it? I’m floored. “You bet. See you in the morning.” I watch her walk to her Jeep and get inside. I watch her pull away and drive down the road. I watch her until I can’t see her any longer... and that’s pretty far. Then I lift up and take off into the night sky.
**********
PART SIX:
When I open the door to Chad’s apartment I find him sitting on the couch, waiting up for me. When he sees me walk in, covered in mud, his eyebrows shoot up. This is probably another suit ruined. I’ve only got one more with me. If this keeps up much longer I’ll have to go home for a change of clothes. I’ve gotta look into that disguise, and the sooner the better, suits are just too expensive.
“Clark, buddy, are you okay?”
Good question. “Yeah, it’s been a rough night, but I’m okay.”
“What happened?”
“Are you sure you’ve got time?”
“Well give me the short, fast version.”
I smile to myself. If Chad only knew how fast I could really give it to him, it would make his head spin. “I spent the whole day at the Planet helping Lois with the shuttle story – did you hear that Samuel Pratt was found dead at his apartment? The police are saying suicide but Lois and I are positive it was murder, especially after tonight.”
“Wow! How come there are never any stories going on like this over at the Star?”
I could venture a guess. For one thing they didn’t have investigative reporter, Lois Lane, working for them. “Well anyway, Lois had her interview tonight with Lex Luthor.”
“Date... go on.”
“No!” I say a little too defensively. “I mean, it wasn’t a date. It was just an interview.”
Chad’s eyebrows arch another notch higher, if that’s possible. “Uh, sorry. I didn’t realize you were so touchy about Lois.”
Yeah, I know, join the club. Great. Now Chad was going to be on me about Lois, I could tell from the look on his face. “I came back here when she left for her interview but you weren’t here and I got bored. So I thought I’d go check out the shuttle wreck over at EPRAD.”
“And you were going to what? Break in? Trespass? That doesn’t sound like you, Clark.”
No kidding. I’d been doing a lot of strange behavior since meeting Lois, but somehow it had seemed like the right thing to do. “I was just going to take a casual look around and see what I could find. That’s all. Anyway, when I got there, I heard voices coming from one of the buildings. I saw a couple of people leaving the building but heard someone calling for help from inside. So I busted in the door.” I garbled the details a little, but he can get the gist of it anyway.
“Whoa! Buddy! I knew those muscles of yours would come in handy for something besides football. Cool. So then what?”
“I’ve been trying to get to that.”
“Sorry. It’s just that your evening was way better than mine. I spent all night at a nightclub waiting for Cat, who never showed up. So I ended up talking to a blonde named Kelli, with an I, who finally proceeded to tell me after a few hours had gone by that she was getting married next weekend to a doctor. What a waste of an evening.”
I stay silent, staring at him.
“Sorry, sorry, please continue,” he tells me.
“Well, Lois and Jimmy were tied up inside and these chemicals had been released and were going to cause an explosion. I grabbed them and got us out of there right before the building exploded.”
“Wow! Cool! I’ve gotta remember to try and hang out with you more often!”
I smile at him. “Not that cool. If I hadn’t happened to go there, or if I had gotten there a little later, they would’ve died.”
The smile on Chad’s face falls a little. “Oooh, yeah, I guess you’re right.” Then the smile comes back, slightly crooked. “And then we wouldn’t have had a chance to explore your deep-seated attraction to Lois Lane.”
“Chad!”
“Hey, I only call ‘em like I see ‘em. Are you, or are you not, attracted to her?”
I find myself unable to lie. Not about this, and not to him. I *need* someone to talk to, and while Chad had only ever been tolerant of my relationship with Lana, he’d never let anything slip to her. For one thing, he’s a better friend than that, and for another, they never talk. “Chad you have to swear not to tell anyone, especially anyone back in Smallville.”
“Wow, Clark, what are you going to tell Lana?”
“I don’t know. Things between Lana and I have been a little rocky lately. I didn’t realize it until just recently but I don’t think Lana really understands me, or maybe even wants to. I get the feeling that she’d rather mold me into what she wants me to be.”
“Uh, ...duh. Are you just now seeing that? Man, are you dense or what?”
Yeah, obviously not just my molecular structure either. “This whole situation is so difficult though. I feel like I’m being disloyal to Lana. Like I’m cheating on her or something and yet I haven’t done anything. I haven’t even kissed Lois.”
Chad whistles. “Whoa, buddy, but you’ve thought about it obviously, haven’t you?”
I feel a blush creep across my cheeks. I’ve thought about more than that.
“You have!” he exclaims a little too happily. “So are you going to see her anymore before you leave?”
“Well, yeah, I’ll see her tomorrow at the Planet. We’re going to write up the story on the sabotage. We have the proof we need now after what Lois found at EPRAD.”
“We? You’re going to help her write the story?”
“Yeah. She asked me to.”
Chad’s eyebrow’s creep up to that previously high level. “Asked you to? We’re talking about the same woman here, aren’t we? Lois Lane, aggressive investigative reporter who you told me wants to get her first Pulitzer by the time she’s thirty? *That* Lois Lane asked you to help her write the story? Buddy, she’s hot for you.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
That bit of insight sends a thrill through me. So I wasn’t just imagining it. If I hadn’t stopped her tonight, when we were walking to her apartment, she would have kissed me. My stomach hollows out and feels like it’s sliding, and all the blood seems to have left my head.
We sit in silence for a few seconds and I can tell Chad is working on another way to harass me about Lois. I finally think of something to say to take the focus off of me. “Oh, by the way, Jimmy says he wants his magazine back from you, ‘Bikes and Babes’?” I grin lopsidedly at him.
“What? What magazine? Never heard of it.”
What is that old saying about one protesting too much...? I arch one eyebrow in disbelief and he gets a sheepish smile on his face.
“Um, yeah,” he finally concedes. “I’ll find it before I leave in the morning and lay it out so you can take it with you tomorrow.”
“Sure thing,” I say with a laugh.
“Well listen, I’d love to stay up and probe you some more about Lois, but I’ve gotta get to work early in the morning. So, night, Clark. And, eh, sweet dreams,” he says with a snicker.
***********
“Lois, Clark, Jimmy, I’m so proud of you three that I can’t see straight,” Perry says, his face beaming.
I glance at the copy he’s holding up for everyone to inspect. It reads: MESSENGER SABOTAGED, SABOTEUR DIES IN FIERY EXPLOSION. The by-line is: Lois Lane. Contributing reporters: Clark Kent, Jimmy Olsen.
“This headline warranted an extra edition! Good job everyone!” Perry exclaims, holding the copy higher.
My first by-line for the Daily Planet. I wish it wasn’t my last.
“I just spoke to ground control over at EPRAD,” Perry tells us. “They went back over the colonist launch vehicle with a fine tooth comb and discovered the same coolant problem in the protective bands and fixed it. The launch is all set for tomorrow morning,” he pauses for a second before continuing. “But it’s a no go for you, Lois. No reporters allowed.”
“But, Chief, imagine the Daily Planet getting an exclusive personal account of being on the colonist transport?” she argues.
“No can do, Lois,” he says firmly.
Lois nods at him, looking resigned. At least I’m hoping she looks resigned. She wouldn’t try to sneak on board would she? Wouldn’t she? I smile to myself. I know the answer.
“Okay, you kids, now get on out of here and go celebrate!” Perry tells Lois and I, his face beaming. Then he grabs my arm and pulls me off to the side out of earshot of anyone else. “Clark, I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed having you here. If you ever decide that being an editor isn’t your cup of tea – believe me, I’ve asked myself that more than once – I want you to know that you’ve always got a job waiting for you here.”
Wow. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. It’s what I’ve always wanted. And yet, it’s not possible, at least not right now. I have to get a few other things cleared up and make a few decisions before I could even consider something like this. “Thank you... Chief.” I smile at him as I shake his outstretched hand. “I’ll definitely keep that offer in mind. I may take you up on it one day.”
Perry shakes my hand and nods his head before turning to walk back to his office. I turn to look at Lois who is still staring down at the paper in front of her.
“Basking in the glory?” I ask her.
“No,” she says, blushing. “Actually, I was thinking how good your name looks next to mine. Mine being first of course.”
“Oh, of course.” I smile at her. “Lois, can I walk you home? There’s something I still want to talk to you about.”
“Yeah, sure,” she says, hesitantly. “Is something wrong, Clark?” She can probably literally feel the tension flowing from me.
“Just walk with me.”
**********
“So what’s your *type*, Clark?” Lois asks me as we walk, finally breaking the silence.
“Excuse me?” I ask her.
“Well the other night you asked me why Lex Luthor wasn’t my type, and I told you that I was looking for someone who could be honest with me.”
...looking for someone who could be honest. Ah, there’s that little stab of guilt again. Keep your pants on, I’m getting ready to come clean, I tell myself. I turn to look at her. “Yeah.”
“Well, you turned down Cat’s advances, so I’m assuming she’s not your *type*,” she grins lopsidedly at me and I smile.
“Ha. No, Cat is definitely not my type,” I assure her.
“So what are you looking for?”
After my last conversation with Lana, that’s easy. “Acceptance.”
“Acceptance?”
“Yeah. I want someone who can accept me for exactly who I am. Someone who doesn’t think they need to mold me, change me, or force me to be someone I don’t want to be.”
“Hmm, yeah, that’s a good one,” she agrees. “I’ll have to add that one to my list.”
“You have a list? Hey, that’s not fair. You only shared one item with me.”
We both laugh together. It feels so good, so right. I wish it could last. I wish I didn’t have to tell her. Did it even matter now? Lana and I probably aren’t even going to stay together... Yes! Of course it matters, I tell myself. This is about being honest, coming clean.
“You know,” she says, putting her arm through mine, “I bet if you wanted to fulfill that boyhood dream of yours and move to Metropolis, that Perry would probably give you a job,” Lois tells me, giving my arm a squeeze.
“Hah. Then you’d be stuck with me.”
“That’s what I was hoping for,” she says, stopping our walk and moving in close to me. Her face is just inches from mine, her lips just a moment away. Oh god, I want to kiss her so badly. She looks so beautiful in the light of the setting sun. I want to take her in my arms and just hold her and forget about the rest of the world. But I can’t.
“I can’t,” I say softly, lifting my hand to brush a piece of hair that had fallen across her eyes. “Lois, there’s something I really need to tell you before I leave.”
“You’re leaving?”
“Yeah. I’ve been away from my paper too long already and I’ve got some things I need to take care of back home. Now that the colonist mission is safe, I really need to be getting back; but not before I finish our conversation from the other night, when we were talking about honesty.”
She pulls away from me slightly and I can see the concern filling her face. I press on, determined to tell her the truth. I’ll be honest with her from here on out, if she’ll still speak to me. “I should have told you this sooner. I don’t know why I didn’t - I’m ashamed I didn’t. If you give me the chance to prove it, I promise I’ll always be honest with you from here on out.”
She takes a step back and lightly pushes my arm away. My heart sinks, but I push forward. “Remember when I asked if you were married and you said you weren’t and then asked me if I was?”
“Oh my god! You’re married?” she exclaims.
Whoops! “No, no, I’m not married.” She visibly relaxes a little at that admission. “But I do have a girlfriend.”
“I see,” she says softly. She’s upset, I can tell, and rightfully so.
“I’m sorry. It was wrong of me not to reveal that to you. I had the perfect opportunity that night we asked each other if we were married, and I didn’t. Part of why I didn’t is because she and I aren’t going to stay together. That’s one of the reasons I have to go back to Smallville, to finalize a few things.”
She looks away from me and we walk a few paces in silence.
“Is she the reason you never moved to Metropolis?” she asks quietly. “You told me you’d always wanted to work for the Daily Planet, but yet you never moved up here. You said it was for personal reasons. Is she the reason?”
I nod my head at her.
“I think that would be a lot to give up for someone - your dreams - even if you love them. You must have one heck of a reason for calling it quits with her,” she pauses for a moment and when I don’t say anything, she continues, “Are you breaking up with her because of me?”
“No.” That’s not the truth, Clark. You promised to tell her the whole truth. “Well, yes, ...maybe ...partly. But that’s not the main reason.”
Is it?
“She’s not in love with me for who I really am,” I continue. “She’s in love with me for who she thinks she can make me be. I can’t live a lie like that.”
Can’t I? I’m living another lie already.
“I want someone who can love me for who I really am,” I tell her, still hoping she’ll forgive my deception and give me another chance.
But can anyone ever love me for who I *truly* am? Could she? I wonder as I look into her face. She has a determined look in her eyes. What is she thinking?
Then she opens her mouth and says the one thing that catches me off guard. “Is that it? Is that everything? Are you hiding anything else?”
“Excuse me?” I feel the panic rising inside me.
She folds her arms across her chest. “You said you’d be honest with me, from here on out, always. So I’m asking. Are you hiding anything else?”
I’m floored. I don’t know what to say. I promised her I’d be honest with her, but I can’t, not completely, not yet. I can’t tell her about *me* yet, I don’t know her well enough. Could I trust her? What if she wrote an article about me? They’d take me away and lock me up for sure... But I promised.
“Yes.”
The look on her face doesn’t betray what she’s feeling. She simply stands there, waiting for me to continue.
“There is one other thing. I promised you I would be honest with you, and I will, but you have to give me time to get to know you. We have to give each other time. It’s something I would share with you in time; *now* just isn’t the right time.” A shadow seems to come across her face. She looks disappointed.
Please... please, don’t, I think at her. Give me a chance.
“Then I think it’s time for us to say goodnight, Clark.” Her voice is deathly quiet as she turns away from me.
“Goodnight, or goodbye?” I ask her, holding my breath.
With her back to me I can’t see her face, but I hear the soft sniffle escape from her. “Just goodnight,” she pauses, standing a little taller and squaring her shoulders and then continues, “But if you’re leaving I guess it has to be goodbye also. Look me up next time you’re in Metropolis. Maybe we can take another walk. Maybe you’ll have more you want to say.” She starts to take a few steps away from me.
“Lois, I...”
She halts and when her voice comes, it’s hollow and anguished. “You’d better go, Clark. I wouldn’t want you to miss your flight.” She doesn’t make a motion to turn around, to face me. My heart is breaking.
“Goodbye, Lois,” I say softly. I walk up behind her and place a kiss, ever so gently, in her hair. I feel a slight hesitation in her, as if she might want to turn around. But she doesn’t.
And then I walk away.
*********
To Be Continued...
