Again I just wanted to thank everyone for their wonderful feedback on this. You all have been great. And Sue, thank you for your beta work on this - the apprentice does a quick dutiful curtsy.
And Tahu - thanks must again go out to you for sharing your idea with me and allowing my muse to take it and run with it. This story was dedicated to you.
So without further adieu....
Table of Contents From Part 7:
My heart aches. That’s what she was doing on the highway; she was on her way to the airport... to fly to Metropolis, to see me. I hadn’t called her, talked to her, since the night we had argued. “I... I won’t,” I tell her. No, I won’t leave her... at least not right now. “I’m right here. I’m going to get you to the hospital. Everything will be all right.”
“Clark?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
I feel my eyes start to fill with tears. She really does love me. She always has. And I do love her, even if we aren’t meant to be together. I start to tell her that I love her, too, when I realize she isn’t breathing. “Lana! Lana, don’t do this. Stay with me. Please.”
She doesn’t respond. I fly as fast as I can to the hospital, taking care to shelter her body with my own as much as I can. She can’t die. Not like this.
**********
PART EIGHT
“I’m sorry, Mr. Kent. There was just nothing we could do for her. She had suffered too many internal injuries and had lost too much blood,” the doctor tells me, placing his hand on my shoulder.
There are tears coming down my face. I don’t even bother to wipe them away. Was it my fault? Should I have waited to move her? Could I have gotten here faster? “Can I ask your professional opinion?” I ask him.
“Certainly.”
“If the paramedics had gotten to her first, instead of *him*, would she have lived?” I ask, afraid to hear the answer.
“No, Mr. Kent. I’m sorry. If the paramedics had been sitting there waiting for the crash to happen it wouldn’t have mattered. She suffered massive trauma to her internal organs. There wasn’t anything anyone could have done.”
I feel a little pressure ease from my chest. There was nothing I could have done. No, there was. I could have stayed in Smallville, with her. I could have never left her. But if I had, all those people on the shuttle would be dead. She had died because I saved them.
I look down the hallway and *through* the emergency room doors until I locate her lifeless body. Yes, I had saved them, but I couldn’t save her.
I turn away, unable to look any more. Out of the corner of my eye I see my parents coming through the front doors of the hospital.
“Honey, we came as soon as we got your message. Is she okay?” Mom asks me.
“She’s gone, Mom.” I feel more tears coming to my eyes. “She was coming to see me and she had an accident...” my voice trails off.
My mom comes to me and embraces me tightly. “Oh, Clark, I’m sorry.”
“Can we just go home, to the farm? I just... I just don’t want to talk to anyone right now. I just need to get away.”
She nods her head at me and the three of us leave the hospital together in silence.
**********
I hover just outside the Daily Planet building, looking inside. She’s there, sitting in her chair with her legs propped up on her desk, reading something. Otherwise the place looks deserted. It’s after-hours but it’s not quite dark out yet.
After having paid a visit to Luthor earlier, I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted. I didn’t have much to go on anyway with just having attended Lana’s funeral yesterday. I really shouldn’t have pushed myself so hard, but I just couldn’t stay in Smallville right now. I didn’t want to be there, at my apartment. There were too many pictures of Lana and I; too many things that reminded me of what I had let happen.
What I had let happen...
There had to have been some way I could have prevented it. What if I had flown faster, come home sooner, called Lana after our fight? What if?
There were too many “what-ifs”.
I sigh, trying to release the continuing frustration I’m feeling. Couldn’t just one thing go right? Even my little meeting with Luthor hadn’t gone the way I wanted. He wasn’t admitting anything and I didn’t have any solid proof to back up what I knew. So for now, I would just have to watch him and wait, but I knew eventually he’d make a mistake, and I would be there.
After everything that had happened the past few days, I needed some reassurance. I needed someone I could confide in. Someone who could help me find my strength again. Someone who could help me forget.
What I really need is to see *her*.
I start to lower myself down to the ground below so I can change into my street clothes, but I hesitate. A part of me wants to visit her first as Superman. She would be glad to see him; she isn’t upset with Superman.
I shake my head. I couldn’t believe it when Luthor told me that was what people were calling me. But it’s true. I saw the name splashed across several newspaper headlines.
I float back up and push a window open. I fly over toward Lois and the breeze ruffles the newspaper she’s holding in her hands. She looks up and spots me.
“Superman!”
I nod my head at her. “I read your article and heard you were looking for me.”
“All my life.” My super-hearing picks up on her soft mumble. Even as awful as I’ve felt the past few days, her words still manage to make me smile. Yes, it was good that I came here tonight. “Everyone’s looking for you,” she responds out loud.
“I’ve noticed. But I’m here to see you, Lois.” I watch the expression on her face change when I say her name. She looks almost a little dazed.
Maybe I shouldn’t have come here as Superman after all.
“You know my name, but I don’t know yours.”
Clark. Clark Kent. Hmm, not just yet. “Superman seems to have caught on,” I say instead.
She sets her newspaper down on her desk and takes out a pad. “Do you mind if I write some of this down?” she asks.
I shake my head at her.
“Who are you? I mean you, uh, seem to have all... the parts... of a man...”
“I am a man, Lois. Just like you’re a woman,” I assure her. Even in the dim lighting I can see the blush on her face. If I plan to talk to her as Clark, ever again, I probably shouldn’t stay much longer.
“I’m glad you’re here, but why are you here?”
“To help,” I answer quickly, trying to think of some way to excuse myself.
“I need more of a quote, you know? Like ‘I have not yet begun to fight’, or ‘Damn the torpedoes.’ Something along those lines. I mean if you said you were here to fight for truth or justice or something like that...”
Hmm, that sounded like a decent quote for a newspaper article. “Truth and justice sound good. You can use that.” She smiles broadly at me as she jots in her notebook.
Okay, I think that concludes this interview. I suddenly cock my head as if I’m listening to something far off.
“What is it?” she asks.
“Someone’s in trouble.” Yeah, me. It’s just a little white lie. Lois herself said she’s guilty of them every so often.
“This is a job for Superman, right?”
I nod my head at her. “I’ll be seeing you, Lois,” I assure her. Yeah, sooner than you think, too. And with that I take off, flying out the open window. I hear her soft sigh and her words ‘Hope so’, as I go. I hope she’ll still want to talk to me as Clark.
I lower myself down to the ground and enter the Daily Planet through the main doors. Good, they haven’t locked the place up yet. I know the stairwells will be locked; but it doesn’t matter, Perry had given the elevator codes to me when I was here before. I ride the elevator up and take a deep breath as I step out of it onto the newsroom floor.
Lois looks up at the sound of the elevator door opening. “Jimmy? That you?” she calls.
“No, Lois. It’s me,” I answer.
“Clark?” I can hear the surprise in her voice.
“Uh-huh,” I say as I head towards her desk.
She doesn’t move to greet me, just watches me from where she’s sitting.
“What are you doing here?” she asks me.
“I...” Her question takes me by surprise. Is she sorry to see me? Maybe it was a mistake to come. “Something’s happened and I’m going to stay with Chad for a little while. I came up to make some arrangements with him.”
“No, not why are you here in Metropolis, why are you *here*?”
I’m taken aback. She really doesn’t know? “I needed to talk to you. I shouldn’t have left the way I did... Are you busy?”
“No, I was, but not now. You just missed Superman; I’m sure you’ve heard about him.”
“Yeah,” I confirm for her.
“I got the first interview he’s given,” she tells me, sounding just a little smug.
“Congratulations.” I can feel the slightest stirrings of irritation beginning. Why am I annoyed by this?
Her face takes on a bit of a dreamy look. “You should have seen him, Clark. He’s the most magnificent looking man I’ve ever...”
“Sounds like he made quite an impression on you,” I interrupt her, my frustration growing. Why am I upset about this? She’s talking about me!
“He did... Why? Are you jealous?” She must have picked up on my reaction.
“Of Superman? Should I be?” I ask. Of course not. But yet I find myself feeling a little jealous. Ugh! Why was she talking about Superman? Why wasn’t she asking why I was here, if I had finalized things between Lana and me? Maybe she didn’t care. Maybe I had ruined things and there wasn’t any going back.
This wasn’t “going right” either. Maybe I should just leave.
I’m just about to excuse myself when she looks away from me and back down at the newspaper sitting on her desk. Her demeanor seems to change - a shadow passes over her face and her eyes take on a distant look. She hesitates a few more seconds and then finally answers my question. “No. You shouldn’t,” she says with a resigned sounding sigh.
What? Did I hear her right? “Lois, I...”
“Clark, I’m sorry.” She finally gets up out of her chair and moves towards me. I’m speechless when she wraps her arms around me in an embrace.
“For what?” I enfold her in my arms. The warmth from her body seeps into mine, filling the empty void that I’ve carried the past several days. I lay my head down against her shoulder and just enjoy her support and the feeling of her hands as she rubs them across my back. No, it’s good that I came.
She turns her face toward mine and whispers in my ear. “I’m sorry for how we left things before, and I’m sorry about... Lana.”
I pull back from her and look into her face, my body tensing. She knew about Lana? How?
“Chad,” she says softly, answering my unspoken question. “Chad sent me a copy of the Smallville Post with the article you had written about her death.” She pointed towards the newspaper lying on her desk. So that’s what she had been reading when I first came in as Superman. “He told me that you were taking it pretty hard and you were coming up to stay with him for a while.”
I’m quiet; my body seems to have gone numb again. I had of course planned to tell her what had happened, eventually, but she’s caught me off guard and I don’t know what to say.
“I understand if you don’t want to talk about it,” she tells me. “It’s okay. I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” I finally respond. “She was coming up here to see me when she had her accident.” I hadn’t wanted to talk about it, with anyone. I had avoided talking about it as much as possible, but with Lois it feels right, with her I can let go.
We’re both quiet for a moment. This is it. This is the time to tell her. I made the mistake of not letting Lana know who I really am, and now I can never correct that mistake. She had loved me to the best of her ability without that knowledge. I won’t make the same mistake with Lois. I don’t care what happens, what she does with the information. I have to take that risk. I have to tell her the truth.
“Lois, I did love her, but I kept a secret from her, too. The same one I haven’t shared with you. It’s too late to share it with Lana, but it’s not too late to share it with you. I...” I pause, is it too soon? No, I’m laying bare my soul to her tonight. “I want to be with you. I care about you, Lois, a lot. I want to be completely honest with you and I trust you enough to share this with you.”
The phone at her desk starts to ring. Without her questioning eyes ever leaving mine, she moves her hand down to answer it.
No, don’t pick it up. If I don’t tell you this now, I might never work up the nerve again.
I reach out and take her hand in mine, keeping her from answering the phone. I bring our hands up to my chest and part my shirt where I had intentionally left it unbuttoned behind my tie; and I slide her hand inside. Her eyes widen as her fingertips feel the slick spandex of the suit and the ridges of the crest.
She brings her other hand up and rips my shirt apart further. She stands gaping at the exposed red and yellow crest in front of her. Her hand goes up to her mouth and she backs up and sits down hard in her chair. She looks up at me with wide, inquiring eyes. “Superman?”
I nod my head.
“Clark?”
I nod my head again.
“*This* is the other *thing* you hadn’t told me?”
I feel like a monk, but I simply nod my head again at her.
“Why couldn’t you tell me before? Before you left me to go back to Smallville? Why didn’t you tell me that day on the shuttle?”
I finally find my voice. “I was afraid.”
“And now you’re not?” Her voice seems like it is just a little bit too high. What is she thinking? I wish I could see inside her mind.
Honesty, Clark, remember, honesty. “No, I’m still afraid. But I was even more afraid of not telling you, of losing you because of hiding from you.”
“Why were you afraid?” Her voice came a little softer, a little lower in pitch this time.
“I didn’t know how you would react for one thing. And I didn’t know what you might choose to do with the information.” The admission pours from my lips. I should have told her the truth before. Before I left to go back to Smallville. I had no idea it would feel like this – like it was cleansing my soul.
“What? Like I’m going to write an article revealing you to the whole world? I’m a reporter, Clark. Not a tabloid journalist.” I hear the edge in her voice and feel the regret in my heart.
“I’m sorry, Lois. I know you’re not, and I know I can trust you. That’s why I came here tonight. Why I shared this with you.”
She turns her face away from me and looks back down at the paper lying next to her on her desk. “So what happened?”
“What do you mean?”
“I watched you save a shuttle full of people, Clark. I watched you eat a bomb, for crying out loud. What happened with Lana? Why couldn’t you save her?”
Her words almost bring me to my knees. Does she know how many times I’d asked myself just that question? I feel the familiar ache in my heart beginning to return. What could I say? I fumble for words and can’t seem to find them. “I couldn’t save her because I was saving you.”
I regret what I said as soon as the words leave my lips. I shouldn’t have said it like that. She’s looking at me like I just slapped her in the face. No, that’s not what I meant.
I try again. “She had her car accident right after I saved the shuttle and brought you back here to the Planet. I was on my way back to Smallville when I heard the crash. I flew as fast as I could, but it didn’t matter. It was too late. I couldn’t save her.”
“So she didn’t know... about you?” she asks me.
“No,” I whisper softly. “Not until that night... when it was too late to matter and she died in my arms.”
Lois rises from her chair and comes to me, embracing me again. I just stand there and let her hold me for a while. I feel the warmth of her breath against my shoulder, and the soft touch of her hands as she rubs them against my back. She’s a balm to my soul, as is my confession.
“It’s okay, you know,” she tells me.
What is?
“It’s okay that you didn’t make it there in time. It would be impossible for you to be everywhere, save everyone. What you did that day was enough. You saved the lives of all those people, and you saved my life. I’ve always believed that we all have a chance to make our mark on this world, to make a difference. Never have I believed in that more than I do right now.”
Neither have I. I’ve always wanted to believe that one man, any man, could make a difference. But I never realized how much of a difference one woman, this woman, could make in my life until I was standing here, being held by her.
After a few moments of quietly holding one another, she breaks the silence. “So are you coming back to Metropolis, to stay?” Her head shifts against my shoulder and I can feel the warmth of her breath on my neck. It sends a shiver through me. “I saw your editor’s note in the paper where you said goodbye to your readers.”
“You read that?” I ask her, reaching up with one hand to stroke her hair.
She nods her head against me. “I thought it was very well written. I think you should.”
“I should what?” I ask her. I drop my hand down to her back and stroke it lightly. Her body shivers slightly at the contact.
“Move to Metropolis.”
“Why?”
She pulls back and gives me a look that says it should be obvious, but I stay silent. I want to hear what she says.
“Well, for one thing it was your dream. And for another thing, Metropolis needs Superman. You could do so much good here.”
“And what about you?”
“Me?” she asks, looking confused.
“Do you need Superman?” My heart lurches in my chest. Please tell me you need him too.
“No,” she replies as she places her hands on my chest, pulling my shirt back together and adjusting my tie. “I need you, Clark.” She flashes a timid smile at me that sends a tingle through my body. I pull gently on her bringing her back to rest against me and I feel well, whole for the first time in days.
“So, do you still think Perry will give me a job?” I ask her. “I mean I could probably get him a lot of exclusive interviews from Superman. If I bring him one of those, he’s sure to hire me.”
Lois pulls back from me and looks into my teasing eyes and her lips part into a smile.
Then she smacks me.
“No way, Kent! I found Superman and I interviewed him first. That gives me rights to the follow-up interviews. Just because you think...”
I interrupt her by pressing my lips to hers. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. I part her lips with my tongue and discover her thoroughly and intimately for the first time. Her body, rigid at first, soon softens and relaxes into my arms. I pull her to me tighter and hold her, never wanting to let go. I drink in the softness of her lips and delight in the urgency of her tender draws against my mouth.
After several moments we both come up for air, making soft panting sounds.
“Well, maybe I could share some of the interviews,” she concedes breathily. “You could always try to bribe me.” She raises one eyebrow at me suggestively.
“I can try.”
THE END
