Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to meeeee! Happy birthday to me!
Okay, now that *that* is out of my system....
******
Chapter 3: We Have A Lot To Stalk About
Lois flipped off the television and grabbed the phone. After spending all last night all that day in her apartment, she was starting to go stir crazy. She had picked up the phone to call Clark half a dozen times in the past twenty four hours. Until now, she hadn't realized how much of her free time was spent with Clark. Without him, she was, well, lonely.
Clark had spent the last two days with Lana, so he couldn't possibly be spending today with her, could he? Of course not. And he'd probably be glad to hear from her after not seeing her all weekend. He was probably missing her. There was still time to catch the evening showing of that romantic comedy she'd wanted to see the night before.
Before she could change her mind, she punched Clark's number. It rang four times, and Lois was beginning to think that he wasn't going to answer at all when she heard someone pick up the receiver on the other end. But it wasn't Clark's voice that greeted her. It was Lana's perky “hello.” Lois slammed the phone down, unwilling to ask the other woman to put Clark on the phone. If Lana was there, he clearly had other plans for the evening.
What was she doing answering his phone? Had she insinuated herself so deeply into his life in three days that she was comfortable answering his phone? Why hadn't Clark answered? Was he not there? Was Lana staying in his apartment even when he wasn't there? Did she ever leave? Was she spending the night now? Clark wasn't the type to jump into a sexual relationship - Lois knew that from watching him over the past year. But might he feel different when the woman in question was his ex-girlfriend, the woman who had been his first love?
Lois stood up, disgusted with herself for even caring. What Clark did was his own business. She didn't care what he did or who he did it with. He was a big boy, and he was just going to have to take care of himself. Grabbing her coat and keys, she headed for the door. She could see the movie alone. She didn't need him to come with her. She could have just as much fun without him.
******
Handing her money to the cashier, Lois accepted her tub of popcorn, box of milk duds and large diet soda. The diet soda would counter the calories in the popcorn and candy, she reasoned.
She was juggling the items, trying to fish her ticket out of her pocket when she heard a familiar laugh. Before she could think twice, she jumped behind a nearby potted plant.
“Do you want a drink or anything?” she heard Clark ask.
“Oh, no. I'm stuffed. Dinner was incredible. I had no idea you could cook!”
“Well, it's just a little skill I've picked up, I guess.”
“It seems like you've picked up a lot of things since the last time I saw you.”
Behind the potted plant, Lois continued to fume as the voiced faded out. Was he blind? Could not see that that woman was throwing herself at him? "Oh, Clark, you're so wonderful.' "Oh, Clark, you're such a good cook.' "Oh, Clark....'
It was enough to make her scream – or throw up. So why couldn't Clark see through that? He was a reasonably bright guy, even if he was a bit dense at times. Why could he not see what Lana was up to?
As she watched Clark and Lana make their way from the ticket taker to their theater, a sickening thought occurred to her. Maybe Clark saw exactly what that hussy was doing, but he was encouraging her because he liked it.
Maybe Lana was right. Maybe Clark was still in love with her after all this time. Maybe he....
No.
That couldn't be it. Clark would never.... Never what, exactly? Never consider rekindling a romance with his first love? Never be flattered that a beautiful woman was obviously interested in him? Even if he wasn't still in love with her, he might still be interested. Clark was a great guy, but he was still and guy, and he still had hormones.
Deciding the situation was twice as bad as she had once assumed, and that she now had to protect Clark not only from Lana, but also from himself, Lois acted quickly. She dashed from behind the plant to the ticket taker, cutting of a group of outraged teenagers in the process. She shifted impatiently as the bored-looking attendant ripped her ticket in half and recited, “second theater to the right. Enjoy your show,” in a monotone voice.
Lois grabbed the remainder of her ticket and made a beeline for the third theater on the left. Slipping into the theater, she was relieved to the find that the lights were already down, providing her the cover of darkness. This quickly proved to be a mixed blessing, however, when she realized how hard it would be to locate Clark and Lana in the darkened room. After scanning the crowd a number of times, and nearly tripping over an outstretched leg, she managed to locate them halfway down the center section.
As she climbed over half a row of people to get to an empty seat a few rows behind them, she grumbled to herself about Clark's propensity to choose seats in the center of the row. Whenever they went out, she would tried to convince him to sit near an aisle so that they wouldn't be inconvenienced by climbing over people, but he insisted that they should leave those seats for the elderly, moms with children, or anyone else who genuinely needed it.
“Boy scout,” she muttered, settling into her seat.
The man in the seat next to her shushed her invoking a brief tirade about her right to do as she pleased in a public place. That spurred shushing from a number of other patrons and just in time, Lois saw Clark turn to see what the commotion was about. Horrified at the prospect of having to explain to him why she was there, alone, she hid behind her giant box of milk duds until he looked away.
Something pricked her conscience. Clark really had wanted to see that movie. He'd brought it up every time they'd discussed seeing a movie, yet somehow they'd managed to see three other movies instead. Even tonight, when she'd called, she'd been planning to drag him to see another movie. It wasn't even a movie that she was dying to see. It just hadn't occurred to her to ask Clark what movie he'd like to see.
Apparently it had occurred to Lana.
Lois shoved that thought to the back of her mind. She could examine its significance at a later date. For now she needed to focus on what was happening a few rows in front of her. Lana seemed to be leading toward Clark. Her body language was screaming at him. Lois let out a muffled growl when Clark's arm slid around the back of Lana's chair, but she relaxed slightly when she realized that he wasn't actually touching her.
Lois' mind drifted back to the last time she'd gone to the movies with Clark – just the previous weekend. It had been a psychological thriller and at one point she'd nearly leapt out of her seat. Instead, she grabbed Clark's hand, clenching it between hers. Clark had smiled at her, then switched her grasp to his other hand before slipping his arm around her shoulders. Somehow, his presence had made the scary part a little less scary...and when that part was over and Clark forgot to remove his arm, she hadn't bothered to protest.
For nearly two hours, Lois kept her eyes trained on them, analyzing their every move. They didn't seem to be overly affectionate, but they did seem to be very comfortable with each other.
Try as she might, Lois couldn't decide if Clark was taking Lana's bait. He paid a lot of attention to her, but Clark was always very attentive.
The lights came up, and Lois slid into her seat, praying fervently that Clark would not turn back and spot her. To her great relief, he walked right past her without a second glance. She ducked out after him.
Lois trailed them stealthily out of the theater, through the lobby, then outside onto the sidewalk. She stayed back a little blending in with the small crowds, trying to remain obscure.
They were walking to Clark's she realized, or at least walking in that direction. She was so caught up in thought – wondering what would happen once they reached his apartment – that she almost missed them turning into a coffee shop. She hesitated by the door, then kept walking, knowing there was no way she could enter the cafe without drawing their attention. When she reached the end of the block, she crossed the street and began walking the opposite direction until she was parallel from the cafe. From her vantage point, she could see them sitting in a booth by the window talking. A waitress came and took their orders, interrupting the conversation temporarily, then disappeared allowing them to pick up where they left off. She was too far away to read lips, so Lois could only guess what they were talking about.
They had a lot to catch up on, she reasoned. It had been years since they'd seen each other. Then again, how much Smallville news could there be? Jethro sold a cow. Maybelle had another baby. And they put a new coat of paint on the town church.
Lois sighed. That wasn't fair. She's been to Smallville, and she knew there was more to it than that. Even if she did enjoy teasing Clark about his hometown, it was all, or mostly at least, in jest. In fact, not that she'd admit it, she'd sort of enjoyed her time in Smallville. Everything there was so laid back. The people were friendlier, the pace was slower. People seemed to take time to enjoy life in Smallville, unlike in Metropolis where people rushed from day to day, always striving for more – more fame, more money – with no real purpose.
Even Clark had seemed different in Smallville. Although he was always laidback by Metropolis standards, he had seemed even more relaxed there. They had played and acted silly. He had even won her a bear at the festival.
She froze as a sudden picture of Clark, knee deep in water and dripping wet, flashed across her memory. She felt her stomach knot as she remembered the terror she felt when she watched Trask level his gun at Clark.
It had been so close. She been so sure she was about to lose him. If Rachel hadn't appeared just then....
Lois shook her head as if trying to forcibly remove the image from her memory. She couldn't begin to imagine her life without him. She didn't even want to try.
Her eyes scanned the picture framed in the window of the cafe. A perfect, happy couple.
She was losing him. Just as surely as if she had lost him that afternoon in Smallville, she was about to lose him. Not to a maniac with a gun, but to a high school sweetheart with a mission.
No, he wouldn't die if he married Lana, and he probably wouldn't even disappear from her life completely. Not right away at least.
They'd still be partners at work. She'd still see him everyday. But it would be different. Rather than lingering over an investigation, he'd be rushing home to his wife. She could forget about all their late-night chats over pizza or all-night movie marathons. Married men didn't do those things. At least they didn't do them with anyone but their wives.
How long would it be, realistically, before she lost him altogether? How long would he and Lana live in Metropolis before moving back to Smallville to start a family? One year? Two? How long would it be until she was nothing more than a faded memory; another name on the Christmas card list? Would he tell his children about her? Would he weave their bedtime stories from the adventures they'd shared?
The lump in her throat was making it hard to breathe, and unshed tears stung her eyes. Suddenly she couldn't watch anymore. She turned away quickly and flagged down the first cab she saw, refusing to look in the direction of the cafe again.
*****
Lois lay curled up on the couch, in the same position she'd been in all afternoon and evening, wearing her baggiest old sweats and cuddling the bear Clark had won for her in Smallville. She sobbed as the end credits of Up Close and Personal rolled across the screen of her television. Even if it was about broadcast news, which everyone knew was inferior to print journalism, it was still a favorite of hers. Now, she couldn't help but think it mirrored her own situation.
Of course, in her case, the roles were reversed. She was the seasoned news veteran and Clark was the green hack turned star. Lois conscience prickled again, and she forced herself to admit that Clark had never been a hack. He'd been inexperienced and rough around the edges, but he'd always been talented. She'd known that all along, even if she would have rather died than admit originally. And yes, he'd learned from her, but she'd learned from him too. He'd taught her how to look beyond the obvious story to see the other, more personal, stories within, and how to get the story without trampling on other people along the way. She taught him how to hammer out the facts for the readers, and he taught her how to present the facts for the readers and he taught her how to present the facts without bludgeoning the readers with them. They were partners.
And now, just like that, she was losing her partner. No, he wasn't dying, but he might as well be in some ways. Once he married Lana, she'd lose him just as surely as if he'd died.
Last night, after the movie, she'd laid in bed and convinced herself that she was being overly hasty about Lana. There was no reason to believe that Clark returned her feelings, or that he ever would. What was between them was years ago, in high school. She certainly had no desire to rekindle a relationship with anyone she'd dated in high school, even those with whom she'd parted on good terms.
But it if wasn't Lana, it would just be someone else. Clark was a handsome, successful, intelligent, kind man. In a word, he was a catch. And really, it was astounding that someone hadn't snatched him up yet. It was only a matter of time.
She'd also realized, or more accurately, admitted to herself, that it didn't matter who Clark married, or even dated. She would hate her. No one would ever be good enough for Clark in her eyes. No one would ever be right for him.
No one but her.
She wiped her eyes and picked up the remote. As she stopped the video and set it to rewind, she forced herself to say aloud the scary words she'd been avoiding for the last twenty-four hours.
“I love him. I'm in love with him.”
In actuality, she'd known that for much longer than twenty four hours. Now that she had finally acknowledged it, it was nearly impossible to think back to a time when she hadn't been in love with Clark.
A timid smile crossed her lips as scenes from the past year and half flitted through her mind. Clark, a sappy smile on his face as he read her a fortune from her fortune cookie; winning her a bear at the Smallville festival; holding her as she gasped for air after nearly being strangled; playing games with her in the Honeymoon Suite; rejoicing over his recently-won Kerth.
At some point, he had loved her too. She couldn't explain it, but she knew it was true. Not just because he'd told her so, although his declaration had been moving and heartfelt. She'd heard too many empty promises to take a man's love at his word, even Clark's. Being in love wasn't something that could be proven with words; it had to be proved with actions. On that front, Clark had shown himself true time and again. He had been there for her more than anyone else ever had. She had come to trust and depend on him in way's she'd thought she'd never allow. At times, she'd been scared of the amount of faith she'd put in him, but on every occasion, he'd proven that she had nothing to fear. He'd even been there for her when it couldn't have been easy for him.
Lois took a deep breath and closed her eyes briefly before continuing her mental diatribe.
Lex. Clark had seen through his facade from the beginning and had tried to warn her, but she'd refused to listen. Then, even after he'd poured out his heart to her and been rejected for two men – a criminal and his best friend – he'd still been the first to comfort her when her world came crashing down around her. Only weeks after having his dreams shattered and pride trampled, he had been the one she had looked to for strength.
She had been such a fool. And she had known it. She had refused to marry Lex because of it. But it was too little too late. By the time she had made up her mind to tell Clark how she felt about him, he had taken back his declaration. He'd told her that he hadn't meant it, that he'd only said it in an effort to keep her from marrying Lex.
She had been stunned, unable to say anything at the time. But later, when she'd had time to take it all in, she'd realized that he was lying. He had meant every word he'd said that day in the park. There could be no misinterpreting the sincerity in his voice or the anguish in his eyes. But he'd taken it back. She had no doubt that he was lying when he said he'd never loved her, but she was just as certain that he had closed the door on the possibility of a relationship with her. He had probably wanted to spare himself the pain and embarrassment of going through the same thing again, so he had convinced himself that it was for the best and that eventually he'd get over her. And now, apparently, he had.
She too had convinced herself that they were not meant to be together. She had thought that she could content herself with nothing more than his friendship, and she had. Until now.
It was the cruelest of ironies. It had taken losing him to make her realize what she had.
Tomorrow she would see him at work and he would behave as if everything was normal. They would go about their daily routine, but all the while, she would be faced with the knowledge that these days were numbered. She was going to lose the only man she had ever truly loved, and there was nothing she could do but watch.
Nothing she could do.
Suddenly Lois sat straight up on the couch. Nothing she could do? What in the world had gotten into her? She'd been so swept up in her maudlin pity party, that she'd lost sight of reality. She was Lois Lane. There was nothing she couldn't do!
In a heart beat, she was off the couch and pacing her living room floor. Tears long forgotten, she rummaged through the kitchen drawer to find a chocolate bar and unwrapped it as she resumed her pacing.
What she needed, she told herself, was a plan.
She needed to show Clark that Lana wasn't the right woman for him. She needed to make him see that Lana could never make him happy the way she could. They were partners, and she needed to make him see that their partnership should be extended to all aspects of their lives.
It had been years since Lois had set out to win a man. Since she'd been burned in college, she'd stopped chasing men. Since then she'd dated casually and suffered through two federal disasters. But the one thing all those relationships had in common was that the guy had done all the pursuing.
She almost wished she could call Lucy. She was a pro at pursuing men. But Lucy was on tour with a new boyfriend and his band, and Lois had no idea how to contact her. It was probably for the best though, since Lois didn't really want to verbalize her plans to anyone, even her sister.
First things first, she needed a makeover. Well, not a complete makeover. She just needed to spice things up a bit. She hurried into her bedroom and surveyed the contents of her closet. Half and hour later she slammed the door in disgust. Everything she owned made her look ten years older than she really was and disguised every positive aspect of her body.
She glanced at the clock and was surprised to see that it was already almost midnight. Too late to do anything else tonight, she reasoned. But she had all day tomorrow to work on her plan. She'd get up early spend all day shopping and preparing for Monday. That's what she needed: a new outfit for her new plan. Maybe something in burgundy.
*****
