I'm kinda swimming in a sea of pain killers here... I thought I wouldn't be able to post this for a long while, but ... duh! this part was being checked for typos already, it's part 6 that'll take a bit more time to come.
This part is just one scene - no A plot in here at all even. It's just Lois and Clark and... well I hope you'll like it.
I don't even think I need to remind you of the story so far before you start reading. This is the "goodbye" scene from MoSB, of course I did it *my way*.
Enjoy! ...I'm going back to my ice packs...
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Part 5:When Clark walked into the newsroom, he was surprised to find Lois still there. It seemed as though she'd been reading scientific journals and that she'd fallen asleep at her desk while doing so. He knew how determined Lois could be, but this went beyond her usual dedication for a story. Of course, Superman had never been 'just a story' to her, but still... Most everyone seemed convinced that once he was gone, the heat wave would be a thing of the past. Yet, here she was, in the middle of the night, still searching for clues in a futile attempt to prove that Superman wasn't responsible for this weather phenomenon. He couldn't help but admire her tenacity... After all, he - Superman, that is - had given up, at the request of the population of Metropolis. He hadn't really expected anyone to bother with this anymore...
Clark made his way to his desk, sent off his final Superman exclusive to the editor and reluctantly packed all his personal belongings in a cardboard box. The chore done, he walked over to his partner's desk. He wasn't nearly prepared to say goodbye to her but it was now or never, he knew.
"Lois," he said, gently placing his hand on her shoulder.
Lois slowly lifted her head up from her desk and looked in his direction. "Hmmm?" she mumbled, not quite awake.
"Lois, It's late. You should go home."
"Clark? You're still here? I thought you'd be in Smallville by now." Lois sprung off her chair, fully alert now.
Just then, she caught sight of the box sitting on Clark's desk. A picture frame, which held a photograph of his parents, was jutting out of it.
"What are you doing?" she asked her partner, alarmed. This couldn't be what it looked like, could it?
"I'm leaving Metropolis," Clark answered. "I'm... going to work for the Smallville Post. Managing Editor." It was the first thing that came to mind. Perhaps not the best excuse he'd ever thought of, but he was pretty sure it would work.
Lois just about fell back in her chair. "No!!" a voice in her head screamed out. This couldn't be happening!
"You're quitting?" she said, frowning. "You were only supposed to be gone a few days! You can't quit, we're in the middle of a crisis!"
"Look, I know there's no good time to..." he started.
"Is that what your 'family emergency' was? A job interview?" Lois asked, accusingly.
"No, of course not!" Clark countered.
"Then what? Is it that bad over there or do you just miss the cornfields so much? Because you know, I seem to remember you saying this," she made a circular gesture to indicate the newsroom, "was your dream job. Big city newspaper, isn't that what you'd always wanted to do? What could possibly make you want to go back to *Small*ville. "
"I guess I'm just not cut out for big city life," he lied.
"Well, nobody's cut out for big city life. That's what makes it so exciting," she told him after a moment's reflection.
Clark sat in the empty chair next to Lois' desk and gently took one of her hands in his. "Lois... I'm sorry... I just can't stay in Metropolis anymore," he told her.
"No, no, no! The Daily Planet needs you. Superman needs you now more than ever." Lois was desperate to make him change his mind. "And... I need you, too..." she whispered, looking at their joined hands. It was hard enough dealing with the fact that Superman would be leaving; she didn't think she'd be able to stand losing Clark as well. How could everything fall apart like this?
"You don't need a partner, Lois. You never did," he told her reassuringly. In fact, he recalled that she'd made it quite clear on several occasions that being partnered with him - or anyone for that matter - wasn't exactly her cup of tea. She'd be partnerless again; isn't that what she wanted?
"Well maybe not, but... I was... s-starting to like having one," she replied, trying to hide the pain she felt. She wasn't going to fall apart, not now. Lois Lane did not break down and cry!
"I just wanted to say goodbye," he said softly.
"Oh, I get it!" she threw at him, withdrawing her hand from his.
"You do?" he asked, clearly confused.
"Well it's obvious, Clark. Nobody in their right mind gives up a great job in the middle of the night because they have the chance of a lifetime to edit the Smallville Gazette!"
"Post..."
"Whatever!" she snapped back. She looked him straight in the eyes and continued, "This isn't about a job. Did you really think I hadn't figured out what it was about you and Superman?"
"What do you mean?" Clark asked, startled. Did she know? She couldn't, could she? She would have said something if she did... Right?
"You idolize the man, Clark. And now he's in trouble and you share his pain. Look, I know it's depressing that they've told Superman to leave, but seriously... Clark, you can't throw away your career because you won't allow yourself to stay in Metropolis. I mean, granted, this is a city where people are so incredibly dense that even after all he's done for us, they're shooing Superman away as if he's some insignificant little bum. But leaving over that... It makes no sense! You need to step out of that whole goody two-shoes attitude, once and for all. No the world isn't perfect and people do really dumb things, I mean, really, really dumb things, but that's not a reason for you to leave! Go unpack your stuff... You are not a quitter."
"You don't understand..."
"Then why, Clark? Why?!" Lois demanded, her eyes filling with tears.
She was clearly taking this harder than he'd expected. Clark knew that Lois had a hard time with people dropping out of her life - men mostly, whom she felt had taken everything they needed from her and just left her there to pick up the pieces. But... what did she care if he left and never came back? Superman, he could imagine, but Clark Kent? She hadn't really given him any reason to believe she cared much about him.
"I have no choice," he told her.
<No choice?>
"Yes, you do!" she blurted out. "You can choose to stay and find whatever it is that's going to stop this heat wave and save Superman!"
"I can't save Superman, Lois," Clark told her, shaking his head miserably. "Believe me, I tried."
<*He* can't save Superman? He tried? Huh?>
"Well you can't do it alone! I can't do this alone either, I need you here. We're partners. Lane and Kent, best reporting team in the city, remember? Clark, there's nothing you and I together can't get to the bottom of. And by God, I think we owe Superman this much, after all the trouble he's ever gotten us out of."
"Lois, I appreciate what you're saying and I wish it didn't have to be this way. But I really have to go."
"Clark Kent!" Lois snapped her fingers at him. "Would you listen to yourself?! You'd think you've been banished along with Superman or something. He might have to go away - for now! - but nobody's asking *you* to leave the city!"
Clark just stared at her with a defeated air, saying nothing. He couldn't tell her that they had indeed asked him to leave... but how could he lie to her so openly? He'd already crossed the line between a little white lie and pure fiction when he'd told her he had a job waiting for him in Smallville. Of course, it wouldn't actually be that hard for him to *get* the job, but that was beside the point. He opened his mouth to speak, but words did not come out, so he closed it again. He looked at his feet and shook his head, then he looked at Lois again his eyes filled with the deepest sorrow.
"I'm sorry," he said finally. As much as Clark thought it would have been for the best to stand there and tell Lois that no, of course they hadn't asked him to leave, he could not bring himself to do so.
He was sorry? That didn't make much sense to Lois at first. Sorry for what? Suddenly she found herself playing some sort of crazy connect-the-dots game in her head: he had said that he had no choice, had told her that he'd tried to save Superman but that he had failed... And now he had this sad look in his eyes and instead of confirming the fact that no one was making him leave, he was apologizing?
And then it hit her. Like a ton of bricks. Her eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. Clark was...? He was...? Superman?
"But... but...? That can't be! He's so... and you're just..." Lois was babbling semi-coherently. "You don't even look... oh, wait... you do."
Clark knew that this was the point of no return. There was no way he could hide the truth from her any longer. He gave her a sad smile. "Look, can we go somewhere a little more private and finish this conversation?" he asked.
She nodded, still dazed by what she'd just uncovered. He led her to the conference room and shut the door behind them.
"Clark?" Lois asked, distraught. "That's why you're leaving isn't it? The real reason you're leaving, I mean. You... You're..."
"Yes, Lois," he answered slowly. He took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. "I'm Superman," he said finally.
Well, this explained quite a few things, she thought. The disappearances and the lame excuses, the exclusive interviews! It also occurred to her that she'd been gushing over Superman... directly to his face. Lois turned bright red at the thought. She was so embarrassed, she wished she could disappear right under the carpet.
"Great reporter I am," she whispered, frustrated at herself for not figuring this out long ago. "I had Superman for a partner and I never even suspected it for a second. You must think I'm such a dope!"
"Lois, no! You're one of the most brilliant people I know," he told her, "don't beat yourself up for not seeing something you weren't meant to notice in the first place. I'm really sorry that you had to find out this way. This isn't how I wanted to tell you. Look, I know this is a lot to process and I swear I'll answer any question you can possibly think of, but I need to ask something of you first."
She looked at him, genuinely confused.
"Lois, I need you to promise that whatever is said here isn't going beyond these doors. Can you do that? Please?"
"What? Why? What do you mean?"
"Huh... well, see, you've just discovered that Superman spends a good part of his life hiding behind a suit and tie, pretending to be just the same as any other citizen of Metropolis. Now, correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that precisely the kind of earth-shattering story every single reporter in Metropolis - and especially one Lois Lane - has been after ever since Superman showed up? Not to mention I'm pretty confident that the Lois Lane I know would sooner die than give up a story so big it could very well be worth a Pulitzer."
"Touché," she admitted, blushing. "But, I wouldn't... I just... I couldn't *do* that, print that. I swear! You have to believe me, Clark! I know how big a story this is, but if I printed it... then even if we did prove that Superman... err... *you* aren't the cause of the heat wave, well... you'd still never come back, would you?" Her eyes were tearing up again. "I'd not only be depriving the city of a hero we all love and respect - not to mention we really need him here - but I'd be losing my partner in the process. And for what? A front-page story? I can't even begin to imagine what kind of a horrible person would do that... I'm not..." She stopped cold.
Lois shut her eyes tightly as she realized the enormity of what she was going to say. How could she claim she wasn't a horrible person? She was! She had been to him every single day since he'd started working at the Planet. Was she so shallow that she couldn't see beyond the flashy blue and red spandex? It was him in that Suit, yet put a pair of glasses on his nose and... and suddenly she wouldn't give him the time of day? Lois scolded herself silently for being so incredibly blind and heartless. How could she not have noticed... how could she have been so mean!
"Oh, Clark, I *have* been horrible to you, haven't I? I'm so, so sorry. Oh my God, I'm sorry." She turned her back to him as a river of tears ran down her cheeks.
Clark stepped towards Lois and gathered her in his arms. "It's Ok, Lois, it's Ok. You're not a horrible person, don't you ever say that! I never meant to upset you, I hope you believe me. It's just that... you know... it is newsworthy and as much as I like seeing my name on the front page of the Planet, I like it best when it's next to yours, on the byline."
For a long while, she just stood there and sobbed, letting herself be consoled by him. She'd been awful to him, yet there he was trying to make her feel better. He had such a good heart, he cared so much about everyone else, this above all else is what made him 'super' she thought, not the powers. It was what was inside that made him a hero and that couldn't possibly come attached to a cape or a pair of boots, could it? It came from being raised by a loving family, with good values. It came... well, it came from Clark.
As Lois realized these things, it occurred to her that this meant that what she loved the most about Superman was... Clark. And when she claimed to be completely, hopelessly, and incurably in love with the superhero, what it really meant is that she was in love with... the good-natured farm boy who hid underneath the Suit. Suddenly, the thought of him leaving became completely unbearable to her. She couldn't lose him. Not without ever... Not without knowing... No!! She took a long ragged breath as her legs gave from under her. Had it not been for two strong arms holding her, she would have fallen to the floor like a rag doll.
Clark sat her down and kneeled in front of her. He looked down, then took a deep breath before looking up again. "Lois... please," he finally managed to say after a moment. "Please don't cry anymore. I..."
Lois knew that he was going to tell her that the time had come for him to leave. That he may not ever come back. And he'd apologize... Clark always apologized for everything even when it wasn't even *his* fault. She couldn't let him say these things. She didn't want to hear them!
"No..." was all she managed to get out at first. She wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath. "Clark, don't! You... you can't leave! They're wrong, you know they are. This isn't your fault! We just need to find who's responsible, that's all."
"Lois, even if I'm really not sure what's causing all this heat, it doesn't change anything. I had given them my word. Superman's word. He never lies, you know." He tried to smile.
"But... Clark? It not *you* they've asked to leave, it's... well, it's the other you. Can't you be just you and leave him behind?" Ideas were rushing through her head. Maybe she could convince him to stay, somehow?
"It doesn't work that way, Lois." he said, knowing full well what she was thinking. "Besides, even if I never wore the Suit again, I'd still hear people crying out for help every single day. I can't block that out of my head and pretend there's nothing going on, that no one's in danger, that I'm not Superman. I'm not able to do that, I tried before and believe me, it just makes everything worse."
"There has to be a way, Clark, there has to! If we just sat down and thought about it for a little while. You and me... together. We solve mysteries on a daily basis, we can find something. We can," she said, hopeful.
"Lois..." he said, pleading. He couldn't let her go on trying to find a solution; he knew perfectly well there was none. "You have to let go. Please... let me go."
He got up and took a few steps back. If he didn't leave soon, Clark felt that he wouldn't ever have the courage to do so. Seeing Lois like this wasn't helping. It always hurt him to see her cry and know there was nothing he could do to ease her pain, but this... this was so much worse! This was Lois practically begging him to stay. Not Superman... it was Clark she was desperately trying to hang on to. *Clark*. If she kept on, he may never find the strength to go.
"No," she said in a trembling little voice.
"I have to, Lois," he sighed.
"No, no..." she whispered, shaking her head as more tears came flooding from her eyes.
Lois stumbled out of her chair, her vision too blurry to see anything clearly and she lunged herself clumsily towards Clark. She wrapped her arms around his neck as tightly as she possibly could. If words weren't working, then she'd just have to hold on to him physically.
"Don't... leave... me... Clark." she hiccupped in-between tears.
Clark closed his eyes. It was all he could do to keep on breathing. He'd felt pain before in his life, but this was the worst pain he'd ever known. There he stood with a woman in his arms, a woman who was desperately trying to hang on to him and who he desperately wanted to hang on to as well. He loved her so much, there weren't even words to express it, and now - against all odds - she was showing signs of actually wanting to be with him. The mere thought of leaving her behind hurt more than a thousand shards of kryptonite being thrust inside his body possibly could.
"Lois, stop. Please, please stop," he begged her, his voice cracking. He grabbed her hands behind his neck and gently brought them down to her sides.
"You have no idea how hard this is already," Clark continued. "Please, I'm begging you, don't make it impossible for me to go. Superman needs to leave and I can't be me without being him too. There is no other solution for now. Let me go, Lois. Please... I can't keep arguing with you over this. This is... it's... killing me." A lone teardrop fell from his left eye and traced a path down to his chin.
She looked up at him as if for the very last time. "Promise that you'll be back," she implored him, "Clark? Promise me that you'll come back."
"Oh, Lois, how I wish I could," he whispered.
Clark lowered his head slightly and captured her lips in a tender goodbye kiss. He took a step back and proceeded to exit the conference room. As he picked up the box he'd left on his desk, he took one last look at Lois and then he made his way to the elevator before disappearing behind its closing doors. The last sounds he heard coming from the newsroom were of Lois, crying... If he had listened closely enough he might also have heard his heart shattering into millions of pieces.
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To Be Continued
