This story is inspired by one of my favorite songs: "Don't do me any favours" - by the Norwegian Group a-ha. I don't really know if they are well-known on the other side of the Atlantic. Maybe you will at least know one of their songs, since they made the James Bond. Theme of "The Living Daylights".
Anyway, I owe these guys a lot. I tend to hear their music when I write my fics. There are a few parts of their songs between my chapters.
Asterisks denote thoughts or emphasis,
dreams are written in italics .
I have to thank my beta-reader Nancy, who destroyed my hope to use my idea in a story. In fact, she has really made this much better. At least I think so. When she reads through this, I guess not even she will recognize my first idea, but it is there nontheless.
But I will stop talking nonsense and go on with Seven Seconds Part one. This is for all of you, who enjoy relationship stuff more than A-plots. Though I wouldn't say that this is without any A-plot.
None of these characters are mine. I only borrow them to have a little bit of fun. I seriously hope that my readers will have that,too.
Seven Seconds
PrologueI do not want to see myself
As someone that you saved
I’d rather be your adversary
Than to be your slave
(a-ha - Don’t do me any favours) Lois saw Lex staring at his empty hands in disbelief. His eyes looked over to the abandoned railing, and Lois followed this gaze. She had felt panic before, but now she feared that she was going to pass out any moment. The understanding of what had just happened sank in slowly, dissipating the haze in her mind. The railing seemed to be bare, missing something now that Clark wasn’t standing there anymore. He was falling! Her Clark was falling down to the streets of Metropolis with nothing to stop him but the hard ground!
Clark is going to die, her conscious screamed. No, she thought, he wasn’t. Clark couldn’t die. The mere thought was impossible to bear. She didn’t want to accept that things could be over in just a moment. Clark was too young; how could this be happening? How? She didn’t even hear him scream and no sounds of panic filled the air, not even hers. She had opened her mouth but no noise would come out. What should she do? Panic went through her head. But suddenly her usual reaction to danger kicked in before she had consciously decided what to do.
“Superman! Superman! Superman!” she screamed as loud and powerfully as she could.
Again and again she cried out the name of the hero. She had done it so many times, always for herself, because she had yet again managed to get in danger. This was the first time she cried because someone else was in trouble. But why did it have to be Clark in such a dangerous situation? Was Superman in the city tonight? No red and blue flash appeared. How long did it take to fall down about 1000 feet? Was it already too late? Her panic increased.
She hadn’t heard a thud, yet. But did that mean anything? Weren’t the streets down below too noisy? Didn’t they cover the sound? She kept crying for the hero, hoping that he would fly to her and tell her that nothing had happened to Clark, that he was perfectly fine.
*Let him be okay, please let him be okay,* Lois prayed silently. She knew that she was asking for a miracle, but she kept praying and screaming. She didn’t want to lose him. Her heart felt like being stuck in ice, unable to move. Any warmth that had ever filled it was vanishing, falling down 1000 feet into nothingness.
Seconds passed that seemed like an eternity. Superman was nowhere to be seen, no single fibre of his suit. Was he already flying away with Clark? Or had what seemed to be so impossible to her now really happened? Had Clark’s life found a sudden and violent end? With every passing second that was more and more likely. She closed her eyes as if it would help to shut out reality. Breathing had become so difficult. Lois didn’t want to breathe, not now that she feared that her partner wasn’t going to ever again take a breath. Her love had perished, she admitted silently.
“No, please, no,” Lois whispered under her breath, getting more and more desperate. Never had she felt this helpless. She couldn’t do anything but stare into the dark abyss. She had to accept the cruel truth, but every fibre of her being resisted acknowledging it. She opened her eyes again with the futile hope of seeing Superman finally, but he wasn’t there. Lois was paralyzed. She stared helplessly at the dark blue sky, but she couldn’t see anything but a few blinking stars. She shivered with fear and shock until darkness surrounded her comfortingly. She didn’t hear anything, didn’t feel anything and stopped thinking anything.
Chapter 1 Come back my darling one,
I’m calling on you,
The road ahead is long,
And I must warn you
(a-ha - Analogue) 2 days earlierClark was freezing for maybe the first time in his life. It wasn’t the cold air of the arctic that sent shivers through his body. The icy grip of fear had gotten hold of him. She had accepted Luthor’s proposal. Lois had said yes! This was the worst nightmare he could ever think of. He had feared just that for some time now but hadn’t actually assumed that things would become so bad. Had he really been that naïve? It couldn't be! It couldn't be because it mustn't be! What a fool he was!
Hours ago she had rejected him, and that still hurt like hell. He had had his revenge, though, Clark thought bitterly. He had lied to her about his feelings towards her, when he met her as Superman. His reaction seemed so childish now, so unreasonable and so totally unasked for. Why had he done that? He should have been better than this. He should have been wiser than this.
But Clark knew all-too well, why he had done it: because of his own damn ego. Superman was him; he was Superman. It was plain and simple as that, but his ego refused to accept it, always musing that he was only Clark with a suit as a disguise. It didn’t matter who of the two Lois loved, since they were one and the same person. That was the reasonable side of him, but his ego had another opinion. He should love and cherish her, like she deserved it, regardless if it was Superman or Clark she paid more attention to. In fact he had assigned all his love and affection to his Clark persona, totally ignoring that Superman *had* to feel the same. And he had expected that Lois would see through his mist of deceit and make the favoured decision. How could he be that ignorant?
He couldn’t remain silent about his identity, anymore. Lois had to learn his secret sooner rather than later. Would Lois still want Superman, when she knew that he was in fact Clark? Maybe she couldn’t imagine living together with Clark. Hadn’t she just told him this earlier? He could also become Superman full time, for Lois’ sake. If she wanted the hero, she could have him. He could kill Clark and never speak about him again.
Clark noticed that he was trying to kid himself. He couldn’t easily stop being someone he had been his entire life through and become someone who had only existed for about a year now. Superman didn’t have parents; he didn’t have friends apart from Lois. He shared a flat with a reporter - a reporter who earned the money for him. He even shared parts of his personality with that reporter. If he stopped being Clark, would that also mean he had to give up parts of his identity? How one-dimensional was Superman? And how real would he become if he existed alone? Would Superman be the same person when he wasn’t a part of Clark anymore?
Was he getting psychotic? He thought about himself as if he was two persons. This wasn’t a good idea and his mother would definitely tan his hide for such thoughts. Then again, maybe she wouldn't. After all, 'tanning his hide' would probably cause her more physical pain than it would cause him. Restlessly Clark paced through the cold wind of the arctic.
If he became Superman and killed Clark, he would have to depend on Lois. A man shouldn’t rely on a woman to feed him if it wasn’t inevitable. Okay, actually he could do without food, and he would probably still need clothing even though that would probably only consist of Superman suits. He had often said to himself that without the suit, he was just Clark. But sometimes it would *have* to come off - some activities just couldn't be accomplished with it on. And what would happen when he *had* to take the suit off? Would he revert to 'just Clark' again. Would he never be able to wear regular clothing again? Would he be stuck in the Superman suit until he died? The mere thought disgusted him.
Lois had asked Clark if Superman’s outfit came off. Well, it did come off, but the man underneath it wasn’t Superman anymore then. He shook his head. This was so ridiculous; of course he remained Superman when not wearing the suit. Getting rid of the hero wasn’t as simple as taking his clothing off. Otherwise Lex Luthor would have found a way to strip his enemy. A brief smile flashed across his face at the thought, but it vanished almost immediately.
Clark felt so sad, so tired of thinking about his problem. He should have known from the beginning that Lois was going to throw herself at Luthor, when she couldn’t get Superman. She had mentioned the billionaire’s proposal soon enough for him to realize that Lois was walking on dangerous ground.
He had tried to save her as Clark, but that average guy couldn’t save people so easily. For the first time in his short life Superman had refused to do the rescuing. Why? He should have been wise enough to recognize this as a mistake that would lead to a catastrophe.
Clark was so darn good at seeing the mistakes of the people around him, but he was awfully blind concerning his own. Clark covered his face with his hands and let out a moan of pain that intensified slowly, growing into a growl. After the growl it became a howl, escaping from the depth of his being.
He had howled earlier because of pain and despair. But now it was more than despair. His feelings were beyond any words of explanation. His cry was a weak attempt to express the pain, but it couldn’t convey half of it. The pain was torturing him and refused to pass. But while Clark prayed for relief, he feared that his pain was the last link between Lois and him. When he allowed it to fade, he would have lost her forever.
* * *
Lois glanced at her ring. The diamond was sparkling brightly, and filled her apartment with a strangely cold light. It didn’t reach her heart. Would a ring from Superman look just as impersonal? Did she really want to marry Lex? What would it be like to be Mrs. Superman instead?
Mrs. Superman. It sounded strange. She whispered the name, but that didn’t make it any better. It wasn’t his real name, anyway. So she might keep her name then. What would she call him? Superman? Honey? Darling?
Could she call Superman, Honey? The thought was somehow ridiculous. But it didn’t matter, anyway. They weren’t going to have a future. He had told her so. Thinking about it, she really didn’t know him too well. Where did he sleep, for example? Did he actually need sleep?
*Forget Superman,* she told herself. He had practically accused her of being dishonest concerning her feelings for him. How could he think that? Maybe Superman wasn’t that perfect after all. But she still felt the longing in her heart. Lex might be the second best choice, but if the first choice wasn’t available, Lex would be best for her.
She would have liked to talk to someone right now. But she couldn’t think of any person who would listen. She couldn’t go to Clark. He would be the best choice, but he wasn’t available anymore. Part of this was her fault, she thought bitterly. Telling her mother about her lovesickness was a downright weird idea. She was experienced with divorce and marital arguments, but that wouldn’t help Lois.
Lois sighed. She felt that her friendship with Clark was breaking apart, and she didn’t even know the reason. That depressed her more than anything. She had lost friends before, but she had known why. It had been because of a new part of their life, or because she wasn’t seeing them in school anymore. Or they had had a bad argument about boys or their view of life.
With Clark it was different. There was no argument she could blame for this. He just couldn’t accept that she was going to marry Lex. He hated him but had told Lois no good reasons why. She still heard him growling, ‘Get into bed with the devil.’
That had been all, no explanation why he called Luthor a devil. She had never thought of him as being able to say things like that, anyway. He was always so shy. Something had to really bother him about Lex.
Maybe it was jealousy. Clark had claimed to be in love with her, but he might be jealous of the rich man he had to compete with. But there weren’t any competitions, Lois thought sadly. She liked Clark as a friend, but she didn’t love him. She had tried to break it to him gently. Why had he refused to accept this? He kept being mean instead, accusing her of being shallow.
‘Get in bed with the devil’. He could just as well have said that she was a prostitute. Marrying Lex was not only about finding a bed mate. Men didn’t understand that, but she had never considered Clark to be like the other men she knew. She felt now that she may have been mistaken about that.
Why on earth couldn’t Clark accept that Lex would make her happy? Why did he begrudge her this life? Jealousy couldn’t be the whole reason, could it? Maybe she should ask Lex if Clark was refusing to tell her something. She was an investigative reporter for Heaven’s Sake. Who could stop her from finding out? The time of day could stop her, Lois realized. She didn’t know about Lex’ sleeping habits, but she was pretty sure that he didn’t want to be called in the middle of the night.
She was sitting on her bed, unable to sleep. She kept looking at her ring. Lois wasn’t tired, not really. Her thoughts kept her busy, but her back was aching and so she sank down in her pillows. Lois closed her eyes, more because of habit than the need to sleep. After several hours she finally drifted to sleep.
* * *
Lois was dressing herself in something long, black and silky. She looked in the mirror and liked what she saw. Her hair was just as it should be. It was soft and slightly curly. Her skin was a bit tanned, her cheeks were rosy and neither too flushed nor too pale. The dress was tight where it was supposed to be tight. The neckline was low cut and emphasized certain assets without being embarrassingly exaggerated. It was modest and elegant. Her lips had a soft tone of rose and looked very tempting, even to her own eyes. Lois smiled at the mirror, when she heard a knock at the door. Lois turned away from her reflected image and went over to the door of her apartment. She opened it and saw Clark’s smiling face.
“Good evening, my love.” He bent forward and kissed her softly but passionately.
His tongue brushed over her lips for a moment but withdrew again and left her longing for more. She invited him in. Clark followed her into her apartment and suddenly had a red rose in his hands.
“For you, darling. But I have to say, this night, that your beauty makes the rose pale in comparison,” he said softly.
“Thank you, Clark.” She kissed him again, briefly but intensely and led him in the living room where she had prepared the table for an extraordinary candle-light dinner. Three candles were lit and their warm, glowing light filled the room. The silverware glistened and the candles reflected in the wine glasses.
They sat down at the table and started dinner. Lois didn’t even notice what she was eating, she just looked at Clark, drinking in his heart melting smile. He was telling her something amusing and Lois laughed. But she only had eyes for this fascinating man. She saw his lips and his dark brown eyes that gave her such a loving glance. She felt light-hearted and happier than she had been for years. Being with Clark was so comforting, so safe.
When they had finished the dinner, he took her hand and invited her to dance with him. He held her tightly against his warm and firm body. Lois felt the heat between them, and she leaned her head against his strong chest and Clark placed a kiss on her hair. Then he trailed kisses down to her forehead, her nose and finally her lips. His mouth felt warm and silky on her lips.
His tongue slid against her lips, and she opened her mouth. She welcomed his flickering tongue with her own and felt him caressing hers softly. He stroked her back and her arms with his hands and…
Lois woke up suddenly and felt a little drowsy. What had that dream been about? She had been dancing with Clark? Somehow she still felt him touching her. It had been so pleasant and comforting. But Clark? She dreamed of Superman and was going to marry Lex. Clark wasn’t part of this game. She didn’t love him. Maybe she had dreamt this because of his declaration.
Her mind was mixing things together that didn’t make sense. She shook her head and sank back into her pillows. But Lois noticed that the kiss she had dreamt affected her more than she was ready to admit. She relived the memory over and over again, though she tried hard to avoid the thought of kissing Clark. Lois closed her eyes and drifted away again.
tbc....
