Table of Contents

Author's Note: I didn't end up rewriting any of the A-plot for 'Resurrection' because, in watching it, it seemed to me that, even if Lois had known about Clark's secret, it wouldn't have changed the A-plot all that much. All I did change was the end- for obvious reasons (and because I wanted to get rid of Dan, as a rival to Clark, earlier.) ;-)

Her Choice
Part 2: Listening to Her Heart

Lois sat back in satisfaction as she looked at the mock-up of the Planet’s front page and the article which she and Clark had written on Stanley Gables and his Resurrection pill and Mayson’s murder.

Lane and Kent had done it again.

And proven they were professionals in managing to work together despite the uncertainty of their personal relationship.

It had been- awkward- to say the least, to work with Clark on this investigation but they had managed to keep any other feelings hidden for the most part as they worked, falling back into their old, familiar pattern of working together. And, Lois had to admit, it had been eye-opening to watch Clark and recognize all the times he surreptitiously used his powers—or forcibly refrained from doing something to reveal what he could do, such as when he’d let Agent Scardino tie them up in Mayson’s office. And to see him as Superman deal with the bomb planted in the porch of Sean McCarthy’s mother had been almost surreal.

That was Clark who had disappeared in a blur and then returned as Superman, holding the bomb…

She had nearly choked on air when Mrs. McCarthy had referred to “that sexy Superman” and hadn’t been able to help casting an amused, even teasing, glance at Clark to see the faint tinge of color in his cheeks—and then the uncertainty in his dark eyes had forcibly reminded her of the unsettled nature of their relationship and she’d turned away, blushing, at her lapse into their old, comfortable friendship.

All those times Clark had disappeared only to have Superman show up a minute later…

Lois found herself wavering between an odd mixture of amusement and amazement— and anger at both him and herself for never having recognized it before. It seemed so obvious, the resemblance between them so clear—how could she have missed the fact that Clark and Superman never showed up together?

She glanced up to find Clark watching her—as she had at various times over the last few days, whenever they weren’t actively working on something. And, as always, she felt herself color at the restrained intensity and suppressed emotions in his eyes as he looked at her. Every time she had caught him looking at her like that, she’d had to catch her breath as the air between them suddenly seemed to thicken and positively crackle with tension and unspoken feelings and desires—and every time, she’d had to fight to remind herself that he had lied to her repeatedly and she still couldn’t find it in herself to trust him completely, still found herself going over all her memories of both Clark and Superman and re-evaluating them for some understanding of the real man.

Their eyes met and held, Clark’s feelings for once unhidden and clear to be seen in his expression and his eyes-- and suddenly she found herself remembering Dan quoting from Mayson’s diary describing Clark’s eyes as smoldering.

Smoldering—they really were… Or at least they could be.

And she remembered the almost pointed way Clark had looked at her when she’d mentioned Mayson being in love with him. She’d suddenly realized with an odd little thrill that the reason Clark had so steadfastly ignored or resisted Mayson’s less-than-subtle flirtations must have been because of her, because of his feelings for her…

She forcibly returned her gaze to the mock-up, confused again by all the emotions inside her. She didn’t think she’d ever felt so confused, so conflicted, in her life before. Oh she knew she wasn’t really angry anymore; she could understand why he’d wanted to keep his identity secret and considering he’d spent his entire life hiding his powers, she could imagine that hiding, even lying, had become instinctive to him. She was still hurt at his apparent lack of trust in her but her main problem was that she couldn’t seem to get past the nagging feeling that she really didn’t know Clark at all—not the Clark that had super-powers and had saved her life more times than she cared to count, and not the Clark who had apparently been lying to her for almost two years now—and not the Superman who had grown up in Kansas as a regular farmboy.

But she also knew that she did still care about Clark—and, yes, about Superman, too. In a way, finding out that they were one and the same simplified matters. She wasn’t in love with two different men at the same time; there was only one of them… She just didn’t know if she could let him into her heart again, if she could risk getting into a real relationship with both of them, because she knew if anything went wrong, if somehow the relationship turned into the disasters which her relationships had always been before, she would be devastated. More than she’d ever been before—so much so that she somehow knew she wouldn’t be able to go on, not after she’d been with Clark/Superman—because she cared about him, in both his incarnations, too much…

And the idea terrified her.

She looked up, feeling someone who wasn’t Clark looking at her, and then blushed again, feeling flustered, as she saw that it was Dan.

He was another element of her confusion. She couldn’t deny that she found his compliments and his obvious admiration flattering; it had been so long, it seemed, since she’d gotten that sort of unhidden, obvious admiration from a man from the beginning.

Clark had gotten too used to hiding his admiration behind lightly teasing words or the occasional look and he was always careful that he never made her feel at all uncomfortable with his own feelings, she had realized.

Like when he had arrived at her place to pick her up before they went to the jail to talk to Big Buster Williams and he’d first seen her very daring costume. He had visibly swallowed hard and she’d seen his gaze sweep the length of her body before he had dragged his eyes back up to meet hers, his cheeks flushed and a tiny muscle flexing in his cheek—and for a moment, she’d been torn between a wild urge to either go inside and
change into her baggiest pair of sweats and a sweatshirt or the equally wild impulse to flatten herself against Clark (who looked very, very good in that tight muscle-shirt and
leather jacket with his hair slicked back and sunglasses on) and explore that oh-so-wonderful body…

But then she’d seen him visibly regaining control of his emotions and his undeniable physical reaction to seeing her flaunting her assets so blatantly—and in another moment, he’d managed a light, teasing smile. “I see you haven’t lost your fashion sense from when you were pretending to be Lenny Stoke’s groupie,” he had said in a bantering tone—and she might almost have believed that she’d imagined his initial reaction to
seeing her outfit except for the muscle still twitching in his cheek, the only outward sign
of the rigid control he was exerting over himself.

Clark wanted her—wanted her intensely, she had realized—but she’d also realized at that moment that he would never act on those desires, never presume to take their relationship any further, without her explicit permission. And the realization made her feel a bewildering range of emotions from relief and thankfulness to exasperation at his Boy Scout sense of ethics, when he might have made it so much easier by taking her decision away from her, in a sense, by making a move that forced her to decide. And she was under no illusions about her ability to resist Clark/Superman if he ever did decide to seduce her—but he wouldn’t, she knew. The ball remained in her court. She only wished she knew what to do with it.

But Dan was different; he didn’t try to hide, rather he flirted with her blatantly. And she
couldn’t deny the small, feminine thrill she felt at being treated that way by a man, especially one who could be as charming as Dan.

“Hi,” he greeted her.

“Hi,” she said, a little awkwardly, and glanced over at Clark involuntarily. Clark’s gaze was forcibly fixed on his computer screen but she somehow knew that he’d only just stopped watching her and that, whether he was watching them or not, he was very much aware of her and Dan’s conversation and probably listening in as well.

“I… uh, just came by to thank you for what you did today,” Dan said.

“It’s okay,” Lois demurred. She had felt a good bit of satisfaction at seeing Sean McCarthy cowed by a woman, before he’d been knocked out by Dan’s punch.

“And to ask you a question,” Dan added.

Lois gave him a questioning look—and glanced, again, involuntarily, at Clark. This time, he allowed himself to meet her eyes and she suppressed a gasp at the depth of naked emotion she could see in his eyes, the jealousy, the hurt, the guilt, the longing, the love— the hopelessness… And she realized that Clark wouldn’t try to stop her if she decided to start dating Dan. He loved her, but he would never pressure her, would never try to stop her from making her own decision in something like this—and he would only watch, no matter that his heart would be breaking, as she chose Dan over him…

It was, she thought, entirely her choice, her decision.

She had the power to break Superman’s heart completely. He was vulnerable to her— and he’d had no qualms about showing it… And somehow knowing that he was vulnerable and at risk too comforted her immeasurably.

“What would you say if I asked you out sometime?” Dan was continuing on.

She sensed Clark stiffen and resolutely kept from glancing at Clark again.

“Are you asking me out?” she asked, reluctantly amused at Dan’s rather odd phrasing of his question.

Dan’s lips twisted into a half-smile. “I didn’t say that. I said, what would you say if I
did?”

What would she say…

She looked up at Dan—and she had to admit she did find him charming and, yes, attractive too. The way Dan looked at her made her feel… feminine and desirable.

And yet…

Clark made her feel feminine and desirable too, in those unguarded moments when he didn’t hide his feelings. And more than that, Clark made her feel… cherished, safe… Loved…

She opened her lips to respond and heard her own voice saying, “I’m sorry, Dan, but I’d have to say no.”

She didn’t dare look at Clark to see his reaction to her answer, although she sensed his sharp intake of breath, and focused instead on Dan, who looked taken aback for a split second, before he regained his aplomb.

“Okay, well, I’m going to be around for a while. The agency could use an extra hand down here. So… I’ll be around and I’ll keep hoping that you’ll change your mind.”

He flashed a confident grin at her—and Lois shocked herself by thinking that his confidence seemed irritatingly close to arrogance in refusing to accept her no as a final answer.

So different from Clark…

And suddenly, she knew with absolute certainty, not only how she felt but what she wanted and what she was going to do.

She stood up and smiled slightly. “Sorry, Dan, but I won’t be changing my mind. I’m already taken.”

And with that, she moved to where Clark was sitting behind his desk, carefully keeping his gaze fixed on his computer, knowing Dan was watching in disbelief, and bent over to kiss Clark on the lips, deliberately looping her arms around Clark’s neck and lingering until she felt Clark’s hands lift to cup her face in a gentle caress and his lips soften and respond with the tenderness and the restrained passion she remembered so well from their first real kiss just days ago. And then she forgot all about their audience or her ulterior motive in kissing Clark publicly, losing herself in the rush of sheer pleasure she felt…

Yes, she thought fuzzily, this was definitely the right choice, where she belonged… She should have just grabbed him and kissed him days ago and avoided all the confusion and uncertainty of the past days since Mayson’s death. Just the touch of his lips to hers and she knew she was well and truly lost… She’d never react so strongly to anyone else’s kiss, she knew; she never had reacted so strongly to a simple touch of anyone’s lips. Only with Clark, only Clark, could make her feel so much with just a kiss… Just a kiss—but, oh, such a kiss… A kiss that could, and had, turned her bones into water and set her heart to beating wildly in her chest…

The kiss ended slowly and Lois smiled softly into Clark’s eyes as he stared up at her, his expression a mixture of elation and love and hope and desire.

They both started when the sound of Dan’s voice broke the spell of desire that had enveloped them both.

“Well, I can see I’m not at all needed around here. Oh and Kent,” Dan addressed Clark, who looked over at him with more equanimity than Clark had ever shown Scardino before. “I hope you know what a lucky guy you are.”

Clark’s eyes returned to Lois as he answered, softly, more as if he were addressing Lois rather than Scardino, “Oh, I do, believe me I do…”

“I’ll see you around, Lois—and if you get tired of Kent here, I hope you’ll call me,” Dan added with another flash of his grin.

Lois spared him a fleeting smile and look almost of apology. “Bye, Dan.”

After a last look at Lois and Clark, Dan left the Daily Planet, shaking his head a little. He would never have guessed that Clark Kent, who had seemed like a nice but boring guy, could possibly attract someone as vibrant and dynamic as Lois Lane—but the magnetism between the two of them when they’d kissed had been unmistakable. It
appeared Kent had hidden depths.

Left alone with Clark, Lois slowly stood up straight, putting a little more distance between their bodies, although she kept her gaze on his face and her hands only moved to rest on his shoulders.

“Lois, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, sorry I hurt you. Can you forgive me?” Clark asked softly, before she could think of what to say to him.

“Oh Clark,” she sighed, “there’s nothing to forgive. I understand why you didn’t tell me
and I can’t really blame you, especially when I made such a fool of myself at first over
Superman and treated you so terribly as Clark. I should ask you to forgive me.”

“No, Lois, don’t you- do you know just how much you’ve helped me? I don’t think I could have continued to be Superman if it weren’t for you, for the way you believed in him, the way you always treated him- treated me- like a human being with feelings just like everyone else. Maybe I couldn’t say much, but there was nothing I couldn’t feel.”

She felt herself color at the sincerity and the tenderness of his tone, to say nothing of the
look in his eyes, as if she were the only woman in the world. Superman needed her… It was an oddly humbling thought, that the strongest man in the world needed her, Lois Lane, in spite of everything and in spite of the way she had treated Clark. He needed her, he wanted her—just as she needed and wanted him…

“Clark, I can’t say that I’m not still a little bit hurt that you didn’t trust me enough to tell
me the truth before,” she began, not missing the flicker of hurt and guilt in his eyes at her
words, and she hurried on, wanting to reassure him. “But what it comes down to is that I don’t want to live a life without you in it. Because… because I love you- both of you- and I couldn’t bear to lose you,” she finished, her voice dropping until it was so soft he nearly had to use his super-hearing to hear it.

If she had ever had any doubts about the intensity of his feelings for her, they would have been put to rest at that moment in the expression of heart-felt joy and sheer love that suffused his eyes, before he stood, pulling her into his arms as he buried his face in her dark hair.

He simply held her like that, their bodies pressed against each other, for a long moment, and Lois reveled in the feeling of being exactly where she belonged.

He drew back just enough to look at her, his hands coming up to cup her face in a gesture of such infinite tenderness it almost made Lois’s heart ache, marveling that the strongest man in the world could still be so gentle—and that he loved her so.

“Lois,” he breathed quietly, “I’ll never lie to you again.”

She smiled slightly. “I know you won’t. I trust you, Clark.”

He closed his eyes briefly and let out his breath, before he met her eyes again. “I know it won’t be easy; there’ll be lots of times when I’ll have to leave you in the middle of something and I can’t even promise to be able to come back within a few minutes. But I do promise that I will always come back to you and that I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”

Lois’s smile softened. Yes, she had realized that long ago; it wouldn’t be easy to be
Superman’s girlfriend, to have to share him with the world. But, she’d also realized— doubly so in these last few days in thinking of Clark and Superman—the times when he was around would more than make up for his absences. She had no doubt of that. And when it came down to a choice between not having Clark/Superman in her life or having to share him with the world, she knew she would always choose having him in her life. “Now that I’ll know why you have to leave, I won’t mind as much. I know you’ll be back.”

“Always,” he promised, before he lowered his head and kissed her, savoring her taste, thrilling to the feel of her in his arms, rejoicing, loving…

And both of them knew that this was only the beginning of forever…


The End