So funny, Jen!
It was the start of another average day as Lois Lane rifled through her closet for a work outfit. Go to work, yell at Clark, eat lunch, get kidnapped, write some copy, and hopefully be home in time to catch a new episode of the Ivory Tower.
Just another ho-hum day in the life of Lois Lane!
Was she out of Rocky Road?
Her morning thoughts slammed to a halt. She couldn't watch the Ivory Tower without Rocky Road. It was humanly impossible. Mostly dressed, Lois, dashed over to her freezer and threw open the door. Shaking the ice cream tub, she sighed in relief. At least enough to get her through the crying. Not NEARLY enough to make it through two episodes if she put on her tapes later. But she could make it through the first round of crying.
They should start selling Rocky Road by the bouts of crying it sustains! ("Can I have four bouts of crying of Rocky Road, please?")
The elevator door opened, and Lois stepped into the newsroom immediately heading towards the coffee station. Plain as day, her coffee cup was sitting there untouched.
You've got to be kidding.
Yeah, inanimate objects don't know to behave around you, Lois!
Clark was like clockwork this week with her coffee. She'd step off the elevator, and she'd reach for her cup that wasn't at the coffee station. Fuming she'd sit down at her desk, grudgingly surprised to find a fresh steaming cup.
If he was in a really good mood, as opposed to just the morning Kansas perky shut-up-and-let-the-rest-of-us-easy-into-our-day kind of perky, she'd find a doughnut too.
You are killing me with this!!!!!
(Since you said you had no beta... I'm the Swede, remember... but I would have written "let-the-rest-of-us-
ease-into-our-day". I'm not saying I'm right, mind you....)
First, the ice cream episode, and now she had to fill her own cup.
Wait. She'd have to make a whole darn pot first.
What was with this day?
Ooohh, the forces of the universe are conspiring against Lois Lane. A little kidnapping or two is just part of the daily grind, but the idea of having to fill her own cup with coffee -
and having to make the coffee herself first - well, it is not to be endured!!!
Desk.
Someone. Was Sitting. At Her Desk.
Her Desk.
I'm running out of icons now, so please just imagine that I'm rolling around laughing my behind off on your very own floor now, sweeping up all the dust bunnies in the process!
Some blonde-out-of-a-bottle fluzy with her skirt up to *there* and her blouse down to *there* was on *her* *computer* checking her *email*.
Empty a bucketful of soapy water on me, and your floors will be cleaner than they've ever been before.
If looks could kill, the blonde would be a pile of yellow-dyed ash.
ROTFLMAO!!!
Finally! Something normal. Well if you count Kansas Greenjeans as normal. Whatever. She'd settle for anything right now. Oh perfect! Clark was carrying her steaming mug of coffee. *And* a doughnut! He must be in a great mood today. Lois held out her hand. "Thanks, Cla--" Wait. He just handed her breakfast over to the fluzy!
"Oh, Clark," Fluzy gushed. "You're always trying to fatten me up with these things!" Oh, pul-ease. Lois rolled her eyes. "Why don't you do something more productive and edit my copy over here. You're such a better writer than I am!"
My cheeks are beginning to cramp from being locked in this barn-door-wide smile. My dentist will be happy - he can examine the outside of all my teeth down to the last molars.
Perry White suddenly stuck his head out his office door. "Hey guys, great job again on that second Pulitzer nomination. The dog show you nabbed really came through. The rest of you could really learn something from these two!" He barked to the rest of the staff.
And Clark and Fluzy got their
second Pulitzer nomination for a
dog show???? Wait. This is too much. This isn't possible. Clark may forget to bring Lois her coffee - he might conceivably, for some mysterious reason, bring the coffee to Fluzy instead - but Clark and Fluzy have gotten their
second Pulitzer nomination for a dog show??? You can wake up now, Lois. Some things are for real, and some things are nightmares. Take it from me. Honestly.
They were nominated for a Pulitzer?! For a DOG show?!
They were nominated for TWO Pulitzers?!
They're at her desk?!
They're using her coffee cup?!
They cancelled the Ivory Tower?!
Yep... like I said... can only be a nightmare.
Lois jerked awake to the ringing phone.
Yup... like I said....
Eh...Lois? Some people say that dreams try to tell us things. I don't really think that is true, but how about being, hmmm, infinitesimally nicer to Clark from now on? I mean, there's no point in overdoing it. But what if he happened to meet and get partnered with that blond Fluzy and started winning dog show Pulitzers with her for real? (Naaah... couldn't happen... but, just to show him how patiently you put up with his perky Kansas I'm-greenjeanier-than-thou infuriating perkiness? Not to mention how graciously you accept his coffee and donuts?)
Umm...Jen? This Ivory Tower thing. My English feels a little shaky here, but are you, by any chance, suggesting we should think of this as a metaphor for a woman being left out in the cold, as it were, instead of being welcomed into the warm embrace of matrimony? So if they've cancelled Ivory Tower... does that mean that the sequel to this vignette will bring us a Lois and Clark encounter of the nth kind (with or without - probably with, considering the Farmboy's Kansas greenjeanhood - wedding rings)?
Like I said, feel free to write that sequel!
Ann
I can just see it in my head and I can so see the steam coming out of Lois' ears right there. Hehehe!
Thanks for sharing that with us!!