To recap:
Lois took in a shaky breath as her heartbeat seemed to thunder in her ears. She had to ask. She had to know. "Do you ever think about that… thing we agreed never happened?"
Clark looked away. He couldn't believe she was bringing this up. She had made him swear they wouldn't ever discuss it again. "I, uh..." Did she really want him to answer that honestly? Was this a trick question? What if she was testing him to see if she could trust him to keep it secret?
"I do," she added softly. "I think about it a lot."
"You do?" Clark looked at her in complete amazement. His own hands started to shake.
"So how bad do you think about it?" she asked.
"What?" His mouth had gone dry. Why did she want to know?
"Just answer the question." Lois looked him directly in the eye.
"Bad," he admitted in a whisper. "Really bad."
Her stomach tightened and she knew there was no way she'd be able to stand up right now without her legs giving out.
"Me, too," she admitted. "What if it happened again?"
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Part 5/20
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She was still there when he came back.
Clark took in a few steadying breaths before opening the door. Was this really a good idea? Probably not, but he couldn't think of a single reason to stop this when the only thing separating them was a door. He had left the suit tucked behind a dumpster in the alley. He had endured the one-sided awkwardness of buying a box of condoms from a disinterested clerk. There wasn't anything he was forgetting.
Except common sense, he reminded himself. You're throwing that to the wind here. It didn't matter. She wanted him. She had actually waited for him to come back - he had half-expected that she would flee before he even got out of the building. She really did want him.
Lois stopped her pacing, turning to watch Clark shut and then lock his front door. He locked it, she thought. And why wouldn't he? Neither of them were going anywhere for a while. She watched him closely as he came down the stairs. Was he nervous? Eager? Smug? She looked at the paper bag he held and fought the urge to gulp.
She cleared her throat. "We need rules. Tony and Rachel had rules."
Wow, she wasn't even going to try small talk first. Clark grinned at her. "Should I assume you've started a list?"
Was he mocking her? He wouldn't really, would he? Surely not right now? She ignored his question and ticked the rules off on her fingers. "No staying overnight. No telling anyone. We schedule this ahead of time or call before coming over, there are no drop-ins."
"We leave the lights off," Clark added.
Lois blinked. Lights out? He wouldn't be gawking at her. What a great idea!
"No lights," she agreed. "And most importantly, we both understand that this doesn't mean anything, right?"
"Right." Clark nodded, but mentally he was shaking his head. She was deluding herself. She had told him she didn't think of him that way, and yet here she was, asking him to make love to her. She couldn't have it both ways. Eventually she had to wake up to the fact that he had always been there for her. And he always had her best interests at heart. If she slept with Joe she'd only regret it somewhere down the road. It might take some time, but sooner or later her brain would catch up to what her body already knew - she wanted him.
Lois eyed the paper bag he was holding. It was a small bag. How many condoms had he bought? Was he waiting to see whether she was any good before he bought a bigger box? She looked away from the bag, feeling an odd mix of lust and panic wash over her.
"So should I change?" she asked, even though she had not brought anything to change into. "Would you rather I was wearing something else? To start with, I mean? We didn't really discuss foreplay."
"Are you going to make rules for that, too?" The question was only half in jest. For all he knew she had a checklist. Was she going to time him? Did she not understand about performance anxiety?
"I…" Lois looked down, flustered that he would tease her at this moment.
"Lois," he set the bag down and came over to stand in front of her. Clark tipped her chin up so their eyes met. "I'll only agree to this if you can promise me we'll still be friends."
Relief flooded through her. Friends was exactly the right word for him to use right now. "Friends," she promised. "No matter what else happens. That doesn't change."
"Yes." He placed a small kiss on her forehead.
Lois closed her eyes. What in the hell was she doing here? Was she really going to sleep with Clark again?
She was. And she couldn't really say that she felt all that guilty about it. Why should she? What if Rachel and Cat were right and this was nothing more than a visceral experience? What if it was wrong to imbue it with all that emotion and meaning? It certainly put your heart through the wringer afterwards when things inevitably didn't work out. She and Clark would still be friends afterwards. Friends with some smokin' hot memories to share between them. What could be better than that?
This way she was with someone she genuinely cared about. Joe was nice, but she didn't really know him that well. Clark, on the other hand, she could trust Clark. He hadn't said a word to anyone about the first time they had done this. He had always been there for her. He was her best friend. It was so much less slutty to sleep with a friend. At least it meant something this way. Or, at least, it meant just enough.
She tilted her head back to look up at him. "So… do we kiss?"
"I'd like that," his voice sounded lower.
"Okay." She went on tiptoe and tentatively brushed his lips with hers. She giggled and pulled away, sinking back to standing. "Please tell me you're nervous about this, too."
He chuffed a laugh. "I definitely am."
"It's silly, huh? I mean we have done this before."
Clark gave her a hug, resting his chin on the top of her head. "Lois, we don't have to do this."
Her heart sank. She had just realized she really wanted this and he was turning her down? "You don't want to?"
"I've never wanted anything more."
"Oh." She took in a deep breath, inhaling the clean scent of him. "I want…" Lois bit her lip as she hesitated. What should she say? He might make fun of her, but she really needed to get the rules straight, if only for her own sanity. She tilted her head back so she could see his face. "I want to touch you. Do I have to ask first? Can I take this off?" She took hold of the knot of his tie, looking up at him through her eyelashes.
Clark let out a small gasp. This was going to be fodder for a thousand fantasies. Had she really just asked to touch him? To undress him? "Lois, you can do anything you want with me. I'm all yours."
She gave him a pleased little smile as she loosened his tie and pulled it free from his shirt. The material whispered as it slid over his neck and shoulders. The sound seemed so loud in his ears, especially coupled with the increase in her breathing. Then she started on his shirt, her fingers brushing and teasing his flesh as she worked his buttons free.
Lois spread open the front of his shirt. He was more buff than she remembered. She touched him, awed by the well-defined body he kept hidden beneath those oxford shirts. Her fingers smoothed over his skin and he shivered. She gave him a knowing grin and kissed his chest. Clark's hands went to her waist as he let out a small moan.
It was his moan that was her undoing. This was empowerment, touching him like this. Seeing and feeling his reactions, knowing that she could have this effect on a man. She went back on tiptoe to kiss his mouth and let out a moan of her own when he kissed her back. She thought she had remembered what a good kisser he was. She was wrong. He was better than she remembered.
She was dizzy by the time the kiss broke. Anticipation coursed through her. Was he going to touch her? Was he waiting for her to give him permission? Did he really think he needed to have it?
"Lois, you can do anything you want with me."
She shivered at the thought of Clark doing anything he wanted with her. Lois tipped her head back to look up at him, "You're allowed to touch me, too, you know."
"I know." His lips placed a soft kiss just below her ear and then he whispered, "Am I not allowed to enjoy this?"
"Enjoying this was the whole point," Lois whispered back.
Clark lifted his head so he could look into her eyes. "I would enjoy taking your shirt off."
Lois swallowed - her mouth had suddenly gone dry. "Then I guess you'd better do it."
His fingers brushed against her as he slowly unbuttoned her shirt. She swayed closer to him with a moan, wishing he would just get on with it already. What if Superman came back and walked in on them? With a jolt Lois realized that she was almost hoping that would happen. This was payback. Let Superman come by and see her in Clark's arms - he'd realize that he didn't know her as well as he thought. Lois grabbed Clark's head and firmly kissed him. In response he picked her up, carrying her towards his bed. He set her down and said, "Wait, I have to…," and then walked away. The light in his living room went out, then the light in his kitchen.
Lois sat on the edge of Clark's bed, her mind racing. As the room became darker her anxiety increased. They were really going to do this. The mattress dipped beneath Clark's weight as he sat next to her. Then his hand touched her cheek, turning her face to his. "Lois," he whispered and then his lips softly pressed against hers as his arms went around her.
Lois stroked over the taut muscles of his back. Superman, she thought. Just pretend that he's Superman. It wasn't that hard to do, really. He was muscular and, in the darkness of Clark's bedroom, he was close enough. Clark was as gentle and as attentive as she imagined Superman might be.
"Not with you. Not like this. Not ever."
Not like this? Superman didn't want her like this? Well, Clark certainly did. Lois moved backwards to lie across the bed, tugging Clark along with her.
Forget about Superman, she told herself. He didn't want her. That was fine. If he flew by now, he'd be sorry.
Lois let out a sigh and tipped her head back as his lips traced over her throat. Don't think about Clark, she reminded herself. Thinking of Clark would make this too personal. She should just concentrate on the solid feel of his body next to hers.
Did he imagine someone else in her place? Who was he pretending she was? Or was the who not as important as the fact that this was happening? A fissure of heat shot through her as she realized that he had whispered her name as he kissed her.
Her name. Clark was thinking of her. For a confused moment she wavered, unsure whether she should be angry or proud. Why should she be angry? She had never told him he couldn't think about her, only that he couldn't think this meant they were in a relationship. In the end, her pride won out. She kissed him, feeling that for the first time that she had Clark Kent exactly where she wanted him. He was practically speechless and he was deferential. He wasn't about to argue with her or rewrite her stories now.
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Clark lay silent, unable to believe this had happened again. Equal measures of guilt and pleasure washed over him.
This was all wrong. It wasn't meant to be this way. And yet, how else could he have her? This was her idea, he reminded himself. She was the one who suggested this. Even when he'd given her the opportunity to back out, she had insisted on going forward. Besides, it felt so good - how could he possibly be expected to resist her?
Lois turned and squinted at him, unable to see much more than the outline of his body. Maybe that was better, she wasn't sure she wanted to know what he thought of her now. A few more seconds passed and she realized that she really did want to know what he was thinking.
"Clark, what have we done? And are we going to keep doing it?"
"What do you want to do?" he asked quietly.
Go for broke, she told herself. Tell him the truth and see what he says. "I want a nap and then I want to do that again."
She could clearly make out his grin in the faint light coming from his window. "I could live with that."
"So this doesn't go beyond this bed?"
"Nope."
"Swear it!"
"I swear. This never happened. Again. Cross my heart, hope to die."
Lois let out a relieved sigh and turned her pillow over, plumping it before lying back down.
So was she serious about the nap and doing it again? She seemed to be settling in since she had pulled the covers up and was nestling into the pillow. He listened to her breathe for a few minutes, content just to know that she was here and that she wanted him. Eventually, though, he realized that neither of them was falling asleep. He felt awkward just lying here and saying nothing. Finally he blurted out the question that had been on his mind since the first time they had slept together.
"How long had it been for you, Lois? Before we… got together."
"How long? Oh, about three years. What about you?"
Should he tell her? No, that would just complicate everything further. "Longer than that," he said.
"Really?" Lois propped herself up onto her elbow.
"Really."
"So you didn't sleep with Cat?" Lois was already pretty sure he hadn't, but she just had to know for certain.
"She's not my type," Clark said, shifting so that he, too, was propped on his elbow facing her.
"What is your type?" Lois thought about Toni Taylor. Clark had kissed Toni right in front of her. Did he like blondes?
"Not Cat," Clark said with a laugh.
What did he mean by that? Maybe he didn't like assertive women? "I'm no better than she is," Lois said, feeling a pang of regret. "I mean look at me, seducing a man without a thought for a relationship."
"You're nothing like her," Clark hastened to reassure her.
"Weren't you even tempted, just a little, to sleep with her?"
"No."
"You said I wasn't your type either after that perfume didn't make you fall madly in love with me."
"Maybe I didn't get sprayed very much."
"So I am your type?" Why do you care, she asked herself. The only answer she could come up with was 'because'.
"Maybe," Clark teased. How could she seriously believe that this meant nothing to her when it obviously mattered whether or not he found her attractive?
"Seriously, what is your type?" Lois found she was consumed by curiosity. What did someone like Clark look for in a person?
Clark considered the question for a moment before answering. "Dark hair. Intelligent. Bossy. Mostly I just know what I like when I see it."
"You think I'm bossy?" Lois pushed herself up a little higher, indignation flooding through her.
"You think you're not?" Clark asked lightly.
She fumed. Was he just teasing her again?
"Come here." He urged her closer to him. "Why don't you boss me around for a while, see if suits you."
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Afterwards, lying against him, Lois wondered how long she should stay. She didn't want to go. She wanted to just lie there all night, snug and secure. Whose idea was it to leave the lights off? She felt cheated somehow that she didn't get to see him. Then again, if she didn't see him it was easier to pretend he was someone else.
"I should go now," she whispered against his skin.
"Stay as long as you like." His hand smoothed over her shoulder and her eyes closed. She could feel herself sliding towards falling asleep.
"Mmmm, no sleeping over," she mumbled. "It would set a bad precedent to break the rules."
"We both understand that doesn't mean anything..."
Clark kissed the top of her head. He wasn't about to tell her that he was already breaking the rules. "Are you even awake enough to get home okay?" he asked.
Lois sighed and rolled away from him. "I'm fine." She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.
Clark got out of bed and put on his glasses and a pair of jeans while she was getting dressed. Once she was fully clothed he turned his kitchen light back on and walked with her to the door. They both looked at their feet, feeling suddenly awkward.
"Well…" Lois started. What should she say? Thanks? We should definitely do this again? Remember you promised you wouldn't tell anyone? She settled for "Good night."
Clark gave her a wry smile. "Good night, Lois." He started to bend to kiss her but she leaned back, her eyes wide. He couldn't kiss her good-bye! Didn't he realize that would make this more than just sex? Clark grimaced and opened the door for her. "I'll, uh, see you tomorrow."
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Lois was nearly late for work the next morning. If anyone asked, she was going to tell them she overslept. The truth was she had changed her clothes multiple times, unable to decide on an outfit. Something prim and severe, so that Clark wouldn't think she was easy? Something sexy just to mess with his head? In the end she settled for a dress suit, but one with a short skirt.
She was the last one to arrive in the conference room. The only open seat was next to Clark. He looked up as she came around the table to sit next to him but his dark eyes betrayed nothing. That was even worse somehow and she blushed.
"Good morning, Lois," he said softly as she took the seat next to him.
"Hi," she answered shortly.
As Perry started off with a tirade about making sure that expense reports were turned in within thirty days of the expenditure, Lois dared to glance at him. A rush of heat shot through her when she realized he was watching her. She gave him a tight smile and turned her head away.
She could feel the heat of his leg next to hers. They weren't touching, but he was too close. She drummed her fingers on the table, wishing she were sitting next to anyone else. It wasn't enough just to have that not-unpleasant cramp low in her abdomen. No, she had to sit next to the man who put that ache there. And, fate willing, he would do so again in another twelve hours.
Twelve hours? She glanced at her watch. If they cut out of work a little early, they could be back at her place by six o'clock, that was only ten hours away.
It was still too long to wait.
"Where are we on the MetEd electrocution story?" Perry asked.
"We ran a background check on Tony Weir's ex-wife, Evelyn. She has no electrical experience, nor does she know any electricians," Clark answered.
"What about STAR Labs? Are they still being closed-mouthed?"
"Yes," Lois said. "But we'll go down there again today and see what we can get out of them."
"Is that something Superman would be willing to help you on?" Perry asked.
"We'll ask him," Clark said.
Lois turned to fume at him. Had she forgotten to mention to Clark that she wasn't really talking to Superman right now? "We don't need his help," she hissed.
Across the table, Cat snorted. "Did Superman turn you down again, Lois?" Cat leaned forward with a smirk, giving everyone a spectacular view of her cleavage.
Lois glared at Cat and then glanced at Clark. Clark was looking at her, not at Cat's wares. He tilted his head ever-so-slightly in Cat's direction and half-rolled his eyes. Lois looked away to hide her smile.
Something tapped her hand and she looked down to see Clark had slid his notepad in front of her. He had written, "Not nearly bossy enough."
This time she didn't try to hide the smile.
She moved her leg, bumping her knee against his, and waited. For a few seconds there was nothing, then the length of his lower leg deliberately came to rest against hers. Lois swallowed but didn't dare look over at him. She casually took her right hand off the table and let it rest in her lap. No one was looking at them. Perry droned on. Cat filed her nails. Lois moved her hand, letting it rest on Clark's knee.
He didn't even flinch. She dared a glance at him but he was watching Perry intently. His eyes looked a little bright, though. She moved her hand a little higher, watching him out of the corner of her eye. He blinked and swallowed but otherwise looked as bored as everyone else did.
Lois didn't dare move her hand again. This was already far too risky. Besides, it was enough. The longer she left her hand there, the more Clark seemed to be affected. He had started breathing through his mouth and he could no longer maintain his interest in Perry. His eyes closed and he snapped the pencil he was holding in two.
What was her game? Was she testing him? If so, he was failing miserably. Didn't she realize that he couldn't sit next to her without remembering what it felt like to be a part of her? She gave his thigh a squeeze and put her hand back on the table, folding both her hands chastely in front of her.
"…And that's all people. Now get to it!" Perry instructed them.
Clark didn't dare stand up. He guessed if he held his notepad low in front of him that might hide the evidence. Lois turned and looked directly at him and then froze, her mouth still open but her question forgotten.
Their eyes met. Lois blinked, taken aback by the naked lust she saw in his gaze. "Clark," she managed to say in a low voice. "I, uh, think I need, um, some help."
"Okay," he rasped.
They stood up together and he followed as Lois swiftly walked in the direction of the supply closet. She glanced around the newsroom but absolutely nobody was paying any attention to them. She tugged him inside with her and quickly locked the door.
Clark's head was still swimming with the realization that she really wanted him when she pushed him against the wall and kissed him like she thought she would never see him again.
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Cat looked over just as Lois came out of the supply closet. Her hair looked a little messy and she had a hazy smile on her face. There was barely time to register the thought that maybe Lois wasn't in there alone when Clark appeared in the doorway, straightening his tie.
She blinked. Would wonders never cease? Had they really? It was plain to anyone with eyes that Clark adored Lois, but how had he finally managed to get her to see past Superman and notice him?
Cat grinned at them. Something was wrong with this picture. Lois might not believe it, but she also had a reporter's instincts. Those instincts told her that this wasn't an office romance.
Whatever it was, she was going to figure it out.
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End 5/20
