Clark had never been this nervous before. It was the first time Lois would see him as Superman since that night and he was terrified.
I know you explained previously what the section that began with the above was in reference to (Witness?), but I was still a little confused. Can you put in some itty bitty blurb telling us why Clark was guarding her? I know this is probably why you quit using the <*><*><*>, but really it wasn't that I didn't get that it was a memory. I just don't remember the reference. I know some folks said if I didn't get the reference that that was tough, but I'd still like to have a little explanation. I'm surely not the only one that doesn't remember every episode. I mean, when you mentioned the Nightfall episode, there were more clues to point us in the right direction, but maybe I caught it because it was one of my favorites.
And really, you might want to think about using the <*><*><*> again. You won't be able to use italics when it goes to the archive.
You changed this paragraph. I think it's very much within the limits of the PG folder - unless you plan on removing the sex altogether, but I don't know how that's possible.
Rachel let out a laugh. "No, not sleeping. That was one of the rules - we never spent the night. We had sex. Lots of it. And then we'd go home. No recriminations, no guilt."
How about a rewrite of this part:
Is there any hobby in the world that can cleanse the mind as quickly and completely as a good
release?"
I'm enjoying reading this again. (And as you might have guessed, I'm reading the nfic again at the same time I'm reading the gfic version. Just consider that one of my many idiosyncrasies.)
If you don't like my little suggestions, btw, tell me to shut up.
