Hello everyone... sorry it took me so long to post the final chapter. (I'm not really sure if I have any readers over here on the PG side anyway - but if I do and you've been waiting, I sincerely apologize - and if you're out there, let me know what you think! Please?
) I had to really work and re-work the ending to come up with a PG version that I was satisfied with.
I dedicate this PG version to my PG beta, James. A big thank you goes to him and to my other wonderful beta Sue. Thank you both so much!
Table of Contents Recap: Tmpus was thwarted, alt-Lois showed up at alt-Clark's apartment, Tempus managed to get the gun away from her and the gun went off. The bullet was headed straight for alt-Lois when alt-Clark threw his Kryptonite-weakened body in front of the bullet.
From Part 11:
And then he heard the shot.
He could see the bullet, the path it was going to take. It was headed straight for his Lois.
He mustered up all of the strength he had left and threw himself in front of her.
The last thought that went through his mind before the bullet slammed into his chest was something he’d said earlier...
<
He would trade his very soul for a chance to be with her...>
He just wished it had been for a little longer.
**********
PART 12 - Finale
**********
“No!” Lois screamed, dropping down beside the man who’d saved her life. Why? Why had he done that? She had held a gun to him, threatened him. “Clark? Stay with me. Do you hear me?” She turned to look back at Tempus, ready to throw herself at him. He would probably shoot her, but she was willing to bet he wouldn’t kill her. Not if he wanted to take her back to her own time period so badly.
But when she turned around she realized the curly-haired Lois Lane was already on top of things. She had managed to get the gun away from him and wrestle him to the ground. Both of the other Clark Kents were also there, helping her... they seemed ready to literally beat Tempus into submission if need be.
She looked away from them and saw the Lois who looked exactly like her coming towards her. “Lois? Are you okay?” her look-alike asked her.
She nodded her head at her and looked down at Clark. Her voice was choked in her throat and she couldn’t get out the words she wanted to say. She couldn’t ask if he was okay.
The other Lois got down on her knees next to them, pressing her fingers to his throat and laying her head against his chest. “He’s alive,” she confirmed and then turned to look at the rest of the group. “Clark, he’s alive but he’s not responding and he doesn’t look good. You need to get over here. Hurry!”
“Shouldn’t we call an ambulance?” Lois asked her double anxiously.
“No.” Off of Lois’ bewildered look, the other Lois continued, “I know this doesn’t make any sense to you right now, but trust me when I say that there’s not much a medical doctor can do for Clark. We can help him more efficiently, and we will.”
He couldn’t be helped by a doctor? The other Lois was right, what sense did that make? Lois looked back down at Clark and felt her heart lurch as she noticed his body shivering uncontrollably.
His eyes were clenched shut against the pain as his body trembled forcefully. It scared her.
She lay down across his chest sharing her body warmth with him, being careful to avoid his wound... both of them. She hadn’t noticed it before but he seemed to have another wound slightly lower from the bullet wound. She took one of his hands in hers and held it tightly. She felt his hand tighten against hers in an appreciative squeeze and his body began to relax; the shuddering began to subside.
“Lois, honey, I need you to move so I can take a look at him,” the other Clark was telling her. He had the same voice as the Clark who’d saved her. Would she hear *his* voice again?
She hesitated, first moving her head close to his ear and whispering to him. “Clark, please don’t die. Please hang in there.”
She leaned up and to her shock his eyes squinted open. The pain they held made her hurt. “Please don’t let go,” he whispered, his voice deathly quiet.
She looked down at his hand that she held in hers. She squeezed it reassuringly. “I won’t. I promise.” She rose up slightly from his body, keeping hold of his hand, and moved out of the way so Clark could look at him.
He bent down over him, looking intently at him. What was he doing? What could he possibly see?
“I have x-ray vision, Lois,” he told her, as if in answer to her questions. X-ray vision? He turned and looked at his Lois. “There’s something wrong here. My vision isn’t working.” He backed up a bit and concentrated on him again. “Okay, I can see it now. The bullet didn’t go deep, but I think that the only reason it penetrated at all is because there is a tiny piece of Kryptonite lodged in his other wound.” Kryptonite? What was Kryptonite? He looked over at her, his face telling her he understood her confusion. “It’s poisonous to us, Lois. I’ll explain about it later.” He turned to face his own Lois. “It looks like the bullet missed his heart. We’re going to have to dig it out – and the Kryptonite. Then I can try to cauterize the wounds until they can heal on their own. Go grab a knife from his kitchen.” His Lois got up and ran off towards the kitchen.
He put his hand to one side of Clark’s face and tapped him lightly. “Clark, can you hear me?” Lois watched as Clark nodded his head a little. “This is going to hurt. I’m sorry but it has to be done.”
His Lois came back carrying a small knife. She knelt down beside the injured Clark and brought the blade close to the bullet wound. “I don’t know if I can do this, Clark.” Her voice trembled as she spoke.
“I know you can, honey. You’ve done it before, remember?” he told her, smiling reminiscently at his Lois. She had done it before?
She nodded her head at him shakily and reached out, touching the wounded Clark’s face tenderly. She squinted her eyes as if in pain as she slid the tip of the knife into the wound.
Lois watched with her breath held tightly as her counterpart cut in with the knife, little by little, trying to locate and dislodge the bullet.
Clark groaned in pain, his body writhing. His grip on her hand tightened, almost to the point that it hurt. She bit her lip. She didn’t care. Grip it harder, Clark, she told him silently.
“I’m so sorry, Clark,” the other Lois whispered to him, her voice distressed. “We’re almost there. I can see it.”
He moaned again, a pitiful, heart-wrenching sound. Lois blinked back the tears that had come into her eyes.
And then, it was over.
The other Lois had the bullet out of him. She deposited the bullet in her Clark’s hand and went back with the knife towards the other wound.
This time it was much more difficult. She seemed to be having trouble locating the piece of... what was it? Kryptonite? It must be very small. Lois noticed the tears coming out of the other woman’s eyes each time Clark cried out from the pain. She could feel her own tears welling up again. Oh, god, please hurry. He can’t take much more of this, no man could.
Just when Lois was about to reach out and take the knife away from her, the other Lois pulled her knife and fingers back, revealing a miniscule sliver of something bright green. That’s what all the fuss was about?
The other Lois promptly jumped up and ran into the kitchen with it, she assumed to dispose of it. Lois looked back and watched as the other Clark focused his eyes on the two wounds. One at a time, a small wisp of smoke began to appear in each wound. Clark cried out again, lurching from the renewed pain.
She laid one hand against his forehead, holding him in place. “It’s almost over, Clark. It’ll be okay,” she told him softly. Then his hand went limp in hers and his body relaxed as unconsciousness took him. She looked back at the wounds. They had closed up, cauterized somehow by the other Clark’s vision. Wow! Who were these “Supermen”?
*****ALT-CLARK******
Clark woke up, his body jerking against the last image he remembered, the gunshot to his chest. He tried to sit up but a pair of hands, a woman’s hands from the feel of them, placed themselves against his shoulders pushing him back down. The room was dark, it must be night out. He could feel the familiarity of his bed beneath his body.
“Lie still. You’re recovering nicely... I’m amazed at how your body works, how fast it heals, but you still need your rest.” It was a woman’s voice. It was Lois’ voice. But which one?
“Lois?” He heard the slight crack in his voice as he spoke her name.
“Yeah, it’s me, the one from our world.”
“Are you real?” he asked, almost not able to believe it. Images were coming back to him now, memories of her asking him not to die, to hang on.
The feeling of her hand wrapped around his, squeezing it reassuringly.
He reached out for that hand, wanting to feel the warmth of it between his fingers, the softness of her skin pressed against his.
He had found her...
Actually, she had found him. He smiled through the darkness when her hand found his and wrapped around it.
He felt her lean away from him and then the lamp next to his bed came on. He squinted his eyes against the sudden light. When the room came into focus he found her and drank in the sight of her. She was standing there next to his bed. He could see the concern in her eyes.
“Yes. I’m definitely real,” she told him, a smile lighting up her face. It was a beautiful smile. It did wonderful things to his stomach. “I was wondering the same thing about you, though. The others told me about you... Superman... about themselves. About the worlds they came from and how they found each other.”
“Are they still here? How long have I been out?”
“No. They left. I told them to. I assured them that I would look after you. You’ve been asleep most of the day, it’s getting dark outside,” she said as she glanced towards one of his windows. “They stayed for a little while, telling me about things I had missed in the last five years and explaining a few things to me. They’re all very fortunate to have each other.” She smiled softly at him.
“Yes, they are. I had often wondered if they really understood how fortunate.”
She nodded her head at him. “*She* told me about how long you’d been searching for me, trying to find me,” she said, her voice very quiet. “She said you were very special to her.”
The words tugged at Clark’s heart. She had been very special to him as well. He had... loved her, even if she couldn’t love him. But now... now he had the hope of something so much more. Now he had the person who his misplaced love had truly been for. “I had almost given up hope. Almost, but not quite,” he told her honestly. “Mr. Wells had promised to help me find out what had happened to you when I was ready. I was about to take him up on his offer when this mess all started.” He broke off when he saw a shadow pass over her eyes. He squeezed her hand gently. “I’m so sorry for what you lost.” Five years of her life. That was a lot to lose, a lot to give up for people you didn’t even know.
“Me too, but I’ve gained so much in return.” She squeezed his hand back, her eyes brightening again.
Gained? What had she gained?
She must have seen the question in his eyes. “I’ve learned about other universes. I’ve made several new friends who, even if I don’t see them again, I will never forget. And I’ve been given knowledge about my own possible future.”
“Future? Did Mr. Wells share something with you?” He wished he had a way to contact Wells now. Ask him if... if she, he... if this...
“No, I asked, but if he knew, he wasn’t saying. But I do know about Utopia. And I know how much the other Loises and Clarks love each other.” She sighed and her face took on a serious expression. “Look, Clark, I won’t lie to you. I’m not a sappy romantic. I don’t believe in love at first sight. But I also know luck or fate or chance, whatever you want to call it, when I see it... And yet that still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t know you.”
Clark pulled against her hand that he held, trying to sit up. He only made it part way before going back down to the bed, moaning from the lingering pain in his chest. He reached out with his other hand and touched the wound. He could barely feel it under his fingers. It was still there, but it was almost healed.
“You need to relax. Stop trying to sit up,” she instructed him.
He smiled at her as he successfully pulled himself up into a sitting position and pushed his back up against the bed. She might not know him, but he knew her. “Are you always this bossy?” he asked her, hoping to get a reaction out of her.
“Bossy? You think I’m bossy?” she huffed.
Bingo.
“No, I think you’re wonderful. You may not know me, but I know you, at least somewhat. If you’ll give me a chance, I can let you know me. We can learn about each other.”
She smiled at him. It sent tendrils of electricity through his body, invigorating him. If she kept that up, he’d be well in no time.
“I’d like that.”
*****SUPERMAN*****
Clark sat in an uncomfortably hard chair beside Lois’ hospital bed, keeping an eye on the monitors and the slow rise and fall of her chest as she took deep, even breaths. Occasionally his gaze would lift up to the swollen lump on her head where Tempus had struck her with his gun. He flinched at the deep coloring that stained the area surrounding it.
He knew he was going to have to wake her pretty soon. The doctors’ had told him that she had sustained a pretty good concussion from her injury, but that she seemed to have a hard head – Clark had held a smile back at that comment – and the x-rays didn’t show any fractures to the skull. Just some minor swelling that would take a few days to go down.
But she wasn’t allowed to sleep for long stretches. She had to be awakened and checked on.
Clark shifted in his chair, trying to find a more comfortable position. The doctor’s had told him that she was okay and that he could go home and get some rest, but he’d insisted on staying here with her. He wanted to be the first thing she saw when she woke up.
He hadn’t had a chance to talk to her since he’d brought her in to the hospital. She’d been whisked away for x-rays and various other scans, exams, and tests. By the time they had allowed him in to see her, she had already dozed off... but now he was going to have to wake her, now he would have his chance.
But he just wasn’t quite ready to wake her. Even with her bumps and bruises she looked so beautiful as she slept, so peaceful and content, and he knew she must be exhausted after what she’d been through.
Feeling his restlessness increasing, he got up and stood beside her bed. He reached out with one hand, pulling a few rebellious strands of hair away from her face. They were stuck to her forehead in places from the little bit of dried blood the nurses had missed when they swabbed her head, but he did his best to get them away from her eyes and tuck them behind her ear.
As his hand hovered momentarily over her bruise, he could feel the heat coming off of it. The ache inside him compelled him to lean over her carefully and brush a soft kiss across her forehead.
He sat back down but leaned forward close to the bed. “Lois,” he whispered, “I know you can’t hear me right now, but there’s so much I want to tell you. So much I want to apologize for. I was so wrong... about so many things,” he told her, practicing what he was going to say to her. His voice was shaking with emotion.
He let out a quiet sigh and continued softly, “If I’d known how you were going to react, what was going to happen... I should have never slept with you like that and then pretended like it had never happened. I was a coward to take your memories from you like that. You were so upset and I was afraid that I was going to lose you. I was afraid that you couldn’t deal with it.”
The pain in his heart threatened to overwhelm him and he was glad he was sitting down. “I should have had more faith in you. I should have realized that you needed time to adjust, time to figure things out. If I had it all to do over again... I hope one day you’ll believe me when I say that I would. I hope one day you’ll find it in your heart to... forgive me.”
He felt his eyes welling up with tears and he tried to blink them away. “Oh, Lois, I’m so sorry,” he laid his head down against her body and whispered softly, “I love you...”
He felt her stir beneath him and he rose up to look into her open, questioning eyes. “Clark?”
He nodded at her.
“Please tell me I wasn’t dreaming,” she implored him earnestly. “It’s true, isn’t it?” She reached out, touching his tie.
He loosened it and pulled down on it, unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt. She slipped her hand inside and felt of the slick spandex hidden beneath. Her eyes went wide and he smiled guiltily at her.
“I think you have a lot of explaining to do,” she said quietly, her eyes looking sad.
Yes, he did. Explaining, apologizing, groveling at her feet. But it was a good sign that she was at least willing to hear him out. It at least gave him hope.
“Lois, I’m sorry...”
*****SR*****
“Clark, why did you ask Mr. Wells to bring us to my house?” He could see the confusion in her eyes, but there was an awareness there too. “We need to get back to the Planet. We need to let Ri... Jason know that I’m okay,” she finished softly.
“I know. And we will. You know how fast I can get you there.” He smiled hesitantly at her. “A few more seconds... minutes... won’t make a difference.” He sighed wishing he could gather her into his arms and just hold her for a moment. He closed his eyes, his mind flashing back to that night in the Arctic.
<You’re so warm...> He opened his eyes and looked at her intently, shaking away the fleeting emotions. “We need to talk.”
She nodded at him. “Yes. Yes, we do, Clark. But I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Will you ever be ready?” he asked her, hearing the fear in his own voice.
She turned away from him and took a deep breath. “I don’t know. I... There’s so many things I want to say to you... and all at once.” She let out a shuddery breath.
He walked up behind her and set his hands lightly on her shoulders. “Tell me. I wasn’t willing to listen before... but I am now. Please... talk to me.”
“I don’t even know how to express it all, Clark. I’m so... I’m just so... mad! I’m mad at you, and I’m mad at me. I’m mad at the way things have worked out and how impossible this whole situation has become.” She sighed heavily crossing her arms in front of her and rubbing her hands up and down her arms.
It reminded him of that night they’d shared together, when she’d been so cold and he had warmed her. But her cold wasn’t physical this time, and he didn’t know what he could do to warm her. “I know,” he said quietly, not withdrawing his hands from her shoulders but not daring to move them any further either.
“Do you?” she exclaimed bitterly. “Do you really? Have you thought about just how complicated things are? I told that other Lois that I understand that you want to have a relationship with your son. And I want you to. But Richard is the only father he’s ever known, and Jason knows nothing about you. What am I supposed to tell him? What am I supposed to tell Richard?” She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. “I can’t very well tell him that Jason is Superman’s son. I can’t risk exposing that to anyone. So I have to go on pretending that Richard is his father. And... And I’m engaged to be married... to Richard.” He could hear the quiver in her voice. “And he’s a good man. And he deserves better than this... and...”
Before Clark knew what he was doing, he had gently spun her around in his arms and captured her mouth with his own. Her body, rigid at first, soon softened and then responded in fervor. She grasped at his shoulders, her hands moving up and behind his neck, pulling him more tightly against her. She moved her hands up to the back of his head, running her hands through his hair. “Ohhh, Clark,” she moaned against his mouth. “Oh, god, you have no idea...” She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes, her own eyes brimming with unshed tears.
“Lois, I...”
“Why!” she shouted at him suddenly, shoving against his chest with her hands, pushing him away. “Why did you leave me? How could you leave me like that?” she continued to yell, her voice breaking. Her body had begun to tremble and tears were coming freely down her face.
He didn’t interrupt her. He had told her that he was ready to listen to her and he would wait for her to finish. He would wait for her... as long as it took.
Her face softened and she shook her head sadly at him. “Why... why did I let you go? God, why did I say those things to you? Why? I’m sorry. I... wish I could take it all back.” She turned away from him again, her voice getting quiet. “I wanted you to stay. So badly. When you asked me to give you a reason, I wanted to tell you... me. Stay for me. But I didn’t. I was so mad and so confused and then you kissed me! And then I lost everything.” She was sobbing through her words. “You took every hope I had away with that kiss.”
He couldn’t restrain himself any longer. “Please... Lois. I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice raw and thick with pain. “You’ll never know the pain that’s been in my heart since I came back. I know what I did was wrong. I hate myself for doing it. Tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.” His voice was quivering and he fought to control it. “Tell me how I can fix this, how I can make it better. What I can say, or do, to make things right between us.”
“I... I don’t know...” Her words were barely even a whisper.
“Lois, please,” he begged her. “I don’t want to lose you. I... I love you.”
And then before he could say any more she was in his arms again, her mouth seeking his, her arms wrapping around his body with urgency in her movements. “Oh, Clark. I love you, too. I do. I told Richard that I didn’t, but it was a lie. I wanted to tell you so badly the other night when you came to see Jason, but... I couldn’t. I stopped myself. It’s not fair to Richard. He loves me and he’s been waiting patiently for me to finally marry him...”
“Do you love him, Lois?” he asked her, holding his breath to hear her answer.
“I... I do. I did... I do. He... He helped me forget you. He helped me move on. He was... there,” she said with a trembling voice, turning away from him, unable or unwilling to look him in the eyes.
He moved in close behind her, his mouth next to her ear. “If you ask me to leave, I will. It will kill me, but I’ll do it. Just tell me to go and I will.” His chest hurt so bad that it seemed almost like a physical pain instead of an emotional one.
One second, two seconds, three, four. His heart began to sink. He pulled back from her and started to turn.
“No,” she said almost so softly that he’d needed super-hearing to hear her. “I don’t want you to leave. I never wanted you to leave... I never *want* you to leave.” She turned back and reached out with one hand to stop him. “Please... I just need some time. I... we have a lot we need to figure out. I have to decide... I just need time.”
He stopped and turned to face her. “Then that’s what I’ll give you, Lois. Time. As much as you need. I can wait.”
*****CLARK******
“Oh, I never thought it would feel so good just to come home,” Lois said, exhaling noisily as she walked through her front door.
Clark followed her inside, closing the door behind him, thinking the exact same thing. Thinking how lucky he felt to be coming home *with* Lois.
He watched her walk towards the stairs and then hesitate, looking up the stairs frowning. “Remind me again why we bought a house with stairs?” She sighed tiredly. “Right now what I really wish...”
Before she could finish what she was saying he had scooped her up and flown her up the stairs into their bedroom. He set her gently down on the bed.
“...is that you would carry me up the stairs,” she finished, smiling the smile that surpassed the beauty and brilliance of a thousand stars. She giggled and Clark felt his heart flutter. “I don’t suppose you offer a *full-service* package?” she asked him, kicking off her shoes and wiggling her toes.
“Yes ma’am.” He pulled her stockings off slowly, massaging her calves and ankles as his hands moved down her legs to her feet.
“Mmmm,” she moaned. Clark could see goosebumps rising up on her skin as she reacted to his touch.
He sat down on the bed beside her and put his hands to her shoulders. As he began to rub them, he heard her let out a hiss of pain and her body tensed up under his touch.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked her, concerned.
“Nothing. It’s nothing.” Her body was telling him far more than her voice could, though. She was hurt.
He slid the light dress jacket she was wearing off her shoulders and down her arms, pulling it carefully off her hands. Several dark finger-shaped bruises on her wrist caught his attention.
“Lois, honey!”
“It’s okay, it’s not bad,” she told him lightly, trying to downplay it. “Really. It’s my shoulder that’s hurting. I think Tempus injured a tendon in my shoulder or sprained something when he twisted my arm behind my back.”
It was a good thing that Wells had already delivered Tempus back to the peacekeepers. If Clark had still had access to him, he would have made sure that every inch of Tempus’ skin looked the way her wrist did. “I’m so sorry...”
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. It’s my own stupid fault. After he pretended to shoot me he rubbed salt in the wound by telling me how devastated you would be.” She was trying to be casual, but he could hear the tremble in her voice. “I let him provoke me into attacking him, and he was ready for me. It was a dumb thing to do, but I couldn’t help it. It killed me to think of you back here, thinking I was dead...” her voice broke and she swallowed several times, looking away from him.
He took a quick *peek* at her shoulder and was relieved that the damage wasn’t as bad as it could have been. It should heal up okay. He wished now that he hadn’t let Wells take Tempus back to Utopia. Had Utopian society done away with the death penalty? He would have to remember to bring that up in later years when he was helping to mold and shape it. He normally was against the death of any human being, but in Tempus’ case he might make an exception.
<Say goodbye to your sweetheart...> He could still hear the sound of the gunshot in his mind.
“I was... so lost,” he told her softly. “When I thought he’d shot you, it felt like he’d shot me instead. Until you came back to me, I had died on that rooftop with you,” he told her quietly as he bent to brush kisses across her neck and shoulders. “But you know what?” he whispered.
“What?” she whispered back raising her shoulders up and tilting her head back, his kisses affecting her in just the right way.
“I learned something... something wonderful, through that whole experience.”
She turned and looked into his face, her dark eyes brimming with questions.
“Do you still want to have a baby? I mean, are you *ready* for a baby?” he asked her earnestly.
Her eyes widened slightly, an anxious yet hopeful desire passing through them. “What are you saying?” she asked him, biting her bottom lip.
“You heard Tempus talking about the curly-haired Lois’ son, Jason? Jason is the son of her Clark. Superman has a child in that universe,” he said, feeling tears come to his eyes at being able to tell her that.
He could see the understanding come into her face. It was possible for *them* to have children. Her lips stretched into a wide grin and she threw her arms around him in passionate embrace. “Oh, Clark,” she whispered against his neck, and then she was kissing him, soft at first but after a few light kisses they turned eager, forceful.
He returned her kisses with fervor letting all the pain, all the anxiety melt away. She was alive and she was here with him, for this moment that was all that mattered.
*****ALT-CLARK******
Clark knew he needed to take things slowly with her. She was right - she didn’t know him. He knew she had to learn about him, become his friend, before he could hope for anything more.
His brain understood that, but his heart was rebelling. For him, things were so different.
He ached to hold her. Did she know how badly he wanted to reach out to her right now, take her in his arms? Did she know how many nights he’d dreamed about her?
He moved one arm slowly over to her to rest on her hip. When she didn’t protest it, he pulled against her drawing her in closer to the bed, closer to him.
He wouldn’t touch her any further, wouldn’t force her any closer than this. But his mind was crying out to her – please, please touch me again, lay your body against mine like you did when you asked me to hold on.
He watched, holding his breath as she came down to sit on the bed next to him. He took his hand off her hip and reached up to run his hand through her long, silky hair, relishing in the way it slid between, around, and through his fingers. She was here. She was real. She was really here. His mind swam with emotions and he closed his eyes allowing himself to savor them.
He felt her put her hand to his face, running it along his jawline. His jaw flexed involuntarily to the touch of her fingers. He felt her other hand tighten against his and he gave hers a little squeeze in return.
He opened his eyes to find her face very close to his, her lips just a breath away. It took every ounce of control he possessed not to take those lips in his own. He wanted to, oh how he wanted to. But it wouldn’t be right, would it?
Wouldn’t it?
She was practically asking him... inviting him...
He gave in and captured her lips with his own, kissing her deeply, passionately. He resisted the urge to touch her further, just enjoying the feel of her soft, moist lips pressed against his own. He had waited for this for so long. As strong as his feelings had been for the other Lois, they were stronger for her. He was drawn to her. He realized he always had been. The other Lois had merely been a substitute for his feelings when he couldn’t find his Lois.
She pulled away from him and he reluctantly let her go, wishing it wouldn’t end.
“Clark, I don’t know if...”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Please, I didn’t mean...”
“...I have anywhere to stay tonight,” she finished, pressing one finger against his lips.
Oh... oh. Of course she didn’t. Everyone thought she was dead. She didn’t have any clothes, a place to stay, nothing.
“I suppose I could call Perry up and ask if I could stay with him. Although I’m afraid I wouldn’t get much sleep if I did that. He’s going to want a detailed account of what happened to me... and I just don’t know if I’m ready... for that.”
He was certain she could stay with Perry and Alice, but he didn’t want her to. He wanted her here, with him. “You could stay here tonight,” he said softly, looking at her with hope in his eyes.
She smiled warmly at him and he could see color blossoming in her cheeks. But then her smile faded and she looked away. “I don’t know if I should do that. I feel this incredibly strong attraction to you, pulling me to you... but I don’t really know you. And yet I do, and you saved my life, and you have no idea how incredibly emotionally moving that fact is. I just don’t...”
“...want to mess this up?” he asked, saying the fear that was in his own heart.
She looked at him curiously and nodded her head.
“This doesn’t have to *be* anything. Just stay here with me tonight. You can sleep in my bed. I’ll take the couch...”
“No, Clark, you’re hurt. I can’t let you sleep on the couch,” she protested.
“Well *you’re* not sleeping on the couch,” he insisted.
She smiled at him. “Maybe we could *share* the bed... just for sleep,” she amended quickly.
He nodded at her. “Just for sleep. I’ve got an extra blanket you could use.”
At first she smiled at him, but then her smile began to fade and she shook her head. “If I stay here, if I lay here next to you, I can’t guarantee that’s where it would stop. I don’t know if I can lay here that close to you and not touch you. Not... hold you.”
“Lois, even if that’s true, it will only go as far as you want it to...”
Clark was cut off by her lips covering his mouth. She broke away from his lips and murmured something about *that* being the problem and then she was kissing him again. Her arms went around his neck, her hands running through his hair. He let go of his restraint, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her back.
He moved one hand down to her abdomen, rubbing his hand softly across it through the black t-shirt she was wearing.
His t-shirt, he realized for the first time. He glanced down at her waist in between kisses to see a pair of black sweat pants cinched tightly at the waist. Maybe he’d had clothes that the Loises could have worn after all...
There was something extremely affecting about her wearing his shirt, his clothes. He smelled her hair; it held the fresh scent of shampoo. She had showered... here... in his apartment.
He lowered his mouth to the base of her throat, kissing her tenderly. He could already smell her scent on the neckline of the shirt she was wearing. He didn’t know if he’d ever wash that shirt again.
He took possession of her lips again. She broke contact from his mouth and a small gasp escaped from her. Clark bit down on his lip, trying to regain control over himself.
Was this really happening? Should it be? He wanted it to so badly, but was that fair? He had so many pent up feelings and emotions for her, but she didn’t.
How could she? She’d only just met him.
She pulled away from him, sensing his hesitation. “What’s wrong?”
“This. This is all wrong. It’s not fair of me to ask this of you.”
“What? Kissing you? Touching you? You’re not asking anything of me that I haven’t already asked of myself. I don’t know why I’m feeling what I’m feeling for you, I barely know you. Maybe it’s because of watching those other Loises with their Clarks and how happy they were together. Maybe I want that. Maybe this is something bigger than us. I feel drawn to you, Clark.”
He looked into her eyes as she spoke to him and was surprised to see the yearning they held in them. His heart swelled. “God, Lois, you don’t know how many nights I’ve thought about you, wanted you. But if you would just stay here with me tonight, fall asleep in my arms, it would be enough.”
She took his hands in hers and brought them to her mouth, kissing them. “Are you feeling any better?” She leaned down and brushed her lips across his fading wound.
“Mmm. Better.”
“You’re not still feeling weak?” She moved her lips to the base of his throat and kissed him softly, her tongue flitting out to taste him.
He groaned quietly. “Define *weak*.”
She leaned into him, pressing her body against him. “This doesn’t make you... *uncomfortable*, does it?” She smiled coyly at him.
“You have no idea...”
“Wrap your arms around me, Clark.”
He hesitated, looking at her with a questioning glance.
“You said I could lie in your arms, that you’d be happy if I fell asleep in your arms. So put them around me...” She got up from the bed, pulling the blankets back, and climbed in beside him, into his waiting arms.
The rush of emotion as he held her in his arms was indescribable. Warmth, longing, desire, completion, contentment all came together in an explosive rush. An inexpressible happiness radiated out from inside him, overwhelming and short-circuiting every other function in his body.
He had found her and he was never going to let her go.
“Clark?” she whispered his name hesitantly, as if she was afraid to break the spell, “Have you... have you had much experi... I mean have you had very many... um, girlfriends?”
Was she asking him what he thought she was? His heart sank a little. He hadn’t had a *lot* of girlfriends and most of the ones he’d had were back when he was young and a date meant some passionate kissing underneath a starlit sky at the drive-in movies.
But then there had been Lana.
She was the only woman he had ever been seriously involved with. He had shared his secret with her and she had accepted him and his special abilities. So when they had gotten engaged and she had wanted to make love with him, he hadn’t denied her. She had known who he was and she had loved him. He had wanted to share himself with her, intimately.
But then she had rejected him.
When he had finally figured out who he was and who he wanted to be, she had forced him to choose – between his destiny and his love for her.
Clark felt his chest constrict.
Now the gift he could only give once, was gone. Even if Lois ever gave him the opportunity to love her like that, he couldn’t share that experience with her.
He laid his cheek against her head, sighing softly. “Not a lot of girlfriends no, but one fiancé, yes.”
He felt her body stiffen against him.
“We’re not together anymore,” he explained and felt her relax. “She didn’t want me to be Superman. She didn’t want to share me with the world...” He broke off, suddenly afraid. This was *his* Lois; she was very much like the other Lois he had known, but she wasn’t the same person. She had lived a different life; she’d had different experiences... had learned different values. What if she, too, couldn’t accept what he knew he would always have to do? The ugly thought sent a sharp spike of pain through the center of chest. “Lana... made me choose...”
“And when you chose to help others she left you?” she exclaimed in disbelief. At his nod she continued, “Oh, Clark... I’m sorry.” She laid her head down against his shoulder. “That’s awful. How could she have done that to you?”
Clark chastised himself. Lois was nothing like Lana. How could he have even been worried about that? Lana was selfish. She wanted him all to herself, and she didn’t care what that meant for the world, or... for him. When he had discovered that about her, he was no longer sad to see her go. He no longer wanted to be with her, even when she’d come back...
“She tried to get back together with me... just a few months ago.” He clutched Lois a little tighter against him. “I came home one night and she was here on my front porch, waiting for me. She said she was sorry and that she had been wrong to let me go. She told me she missed me and wanted me back.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I told her that I couldn’t. I knew we weren’t right for each other. I couldn’t give her the kind of life she wanted. If I had taken her back, I would have been miserable because she would have always been resentful that I couldn’t give myself over to her fully.” He paused and took a deep, cleansing breath. “But I did give something to her, Lois. Something I wish desperately that I hadn’t... that I can never get back. I...”
She pulled one of her hands out from around him and placed it gently over his mouth. “Shhh. It’s okay. Don’t say it.” She moved her hand and smiled at him, her eyes full of awareness.
“I wish I could take it back,” he said quietly. “I wish it had never happened.”
“Then it didn’t,” she said softly, leaning up to kiss him tenderly.
How could she be so understanding, so compassionate, so... perfect? He’d never known anyone like her, not even the other Lois. This Lois was definitely everything that encapsulated and defined Lois Lane, and yet she was so different. All of the Loises were so different from one another. He smiled to himself, and he was holding the best one of all of them in his arms – though the other Clarks probably each felt the same about their Lois. He deepened the kiss, drawing lovingly against her lips again and again.
Maybe she understood because she’d had her own bad experiences that she wanted to put behind her?
“Thank you,” he murmured as he broke the kiss. She squeezed him gently before laying her head back against his shoulder. “Have you... been in any serious relationships?” he asked her, his voice hesitant, cautious.
She shrugged her shoulders against him. “I’ve dated.” She shook her head in disgust. “All of them turned out to be total losers once I got to know them.” She paused and he waited expectantly for her to continue. When she did, her voice was soft, thoughtful. “My parents taught me that the love between two people was an incredibly beautiful gift, that I should take my time to find someone I felt was really worthy to share myself with. And they should know, my parents, they’ve been happily married for over thirty years.” She looked up into his eyes and smiled at him, her cheeks reddening ever so slightly. “I just never found that *special* someone.”
Clark’s breath caught in his throat. What was she saying? That she was a...? His mind whirled at the admission and he found himself feeling a little uncomfortable in her embrace.
She must have sensed his distress because instead of letting him pull away from her, she embraced him tighter. “I didn’t tell you that to make you feel bad. I told you because... because I just needed you to know.” She put one hand behind his head, drawing him to her lips. She kissed him long and hard, her tongue running skillfully along the inside of his lips, sending tendrils of excitement through him.
She might have saved her body, but not her lips – she was an excellent kisser, one that only comes from experience. And why shouldn’t she be? She had told him she’d dated.
When she finally broke the kiss, she didn’t pull immediately away. Instead she looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, her voice husky with emotion, “I told you that because I wanted you to know how special you are... not just because of who you are to the world, but because of who you are to me.”
“Who am I?” he asked, his eyes pleading with her.
“My hero,” she told him simply. “Not just because you saved my life, but because you never gave up on me.” Her voice got quiet and he could hear the pain in it. “Lois told me about my grave. She told me how Perry and Alice and all my other friends had said goodbye to me, but not you. You, who I’d never even met. You pressed on; you searched relentlessly for me. You never gave up on me.”
“I couldn’t. I decided that I had to discover what had happened to you, no matter what I found.” The ache in his heart had long since departed. In fact, it had disappeared nearly the moment she had walked through his door, but he still remembered the way it had felt. How it had haunted his heart. “I was afraid that maybe you really were dead, but another part of me was afraid that when I found you, you wouldn’t...” he broke off, not sure what exactly he wanted to say.
“I wouldn’t what?” she asked when he didn’t continue. “Wouldn’t want to be found? Wouldn’t care? “Wouldn’t... want you? Is that what you thought?”
He looked away from her. “No, that’s not what I really thought, only what I feared. I wasn’t sure if the love I felt for you gave me the right to... intrude on your life and your feelings like that. But I just had to know...”
“Oh, Clark.” She shuddered softly. “Lois told me something else when we talked. She told me that she and her Clark were like soul mates. I didn’t believe her at the time. Didn’t see how that could be possible.” She shook her head in amazement. “I told you I had been waiting for someone *special*. Do you know how special you are? Not just because of what you can do, but who you are?” she asked him, her voice intense and passionate.
Not allowing him to answer, she joined her mouth with his again, kissing him deeply. When she finally released him she was breathing hard and her heart was beating wildly.
He knew what she was willing to do... but he knew he couldn’t let her. “Lois, you have no idea how much I want this,” he told her earnestly. “But not like this. I made a mistake with Lana, and I don’t want to rush things with you. I’ve finally found you and I’ve been given a second chance at life... with you. I want things to be... perfect.”
“So do I,” she murmured.
“Then just sleep beside me tonight,” he gently implored her. “Let me fall asleep holding you in my arms and this night couldn’t possibly be more perfect.”
She smiled softly at him and leaned down to kiss him lightly on the cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered and lay down next to him.
His heart swelled to the point that he thought his chest could no longer contain it. He wrapped one arm around her body, entwining his fingers with hers.
He knew his life had just changed forever.
***********
THE END
And now the proper thank yous. I've already thanked my betas, but it never hurts to thank them again - so thank you!
I want to send a thank you to Nancy who allowed me to bother her frequently with medical related questions. I appreciate it Nancy!
I would also like to thank Jensguy/ClarkKentWannaBe/L&C-Fan for posting the Supermen United challenge and inspiring me to write this story.
