Yes, I must agree with Sheila and Nancy that this was really a great and memorable part. What I noticed particularly was that there were so many different, poignant and occasionally almost surrealistic story elements here. I love the beginning, where Perry is thinking about Clark's choice to kill himself in order to save Lois from marrying Luthor. I love how you had Perry ask himself if he would have been similarly brave:
Would he himself fall down from a building if that would help to save Alice? Perry would have liked to answer this question with, ‘Yes, I would jump without hesitating’. But he loved living, and he was afraid to die. If it came to the worst and he was forced to decide, would he beg for his own life or would he have the courage to sacrifice it?
Clark was brave enough to do just that. But even though Perry admires Clark's amazing courage and unselfish love, he still disapproves of the younger man's decision:
Clark’s decision offered no loophole. Clark and Lois could have had a chance to spend the rest of their lives together. But now there was only the Romeo and Juliet kind of tragedy that would reunite the couple. Why hadn’t Clark allowed Lois to say yes?
I love that reference to Romeo and Juliet. And I'm glad that Perry seems to disapprove of stories ending in death as much as I do....
This is very strong:
Lois still felt empty. She didn’t know how to cope with Clark’s missing body. Did that mean that he was still alive?
To have your loved one disappear without a trace, so that you don't know if this person is living or dead, is supposed to be the worst kind of trauma.
I love this - I can feel your German sense of poetry shining through so clearly:
It had been merely a glimpse ago that Clark had been standing in the middle of Luthor’s penthouse. He had never been stronger or prouder.
Lois felt a warm touch on her shoulder. She glanced up into Perry’s sorrowful and sad face. Lois saw that he was desperately trying to be strong for her. But he failed miserably. Clark had meant very much to him as well.
“Come Lois, let’s leave this horrible place. I’ll walk you home.” Perry said softly. “You could also stay at Clark’s place if you fell like company tonight. I am sleeping there, and you won’t be alone tonight. You could have his bed.”
Perry is so kind - I love his warm touch on Lois's shoulder - but it is insensitve of him to offer Lois to sleep in the bed belonging to the man whose death, or at least disappearance, has shattered her existence.
This is strong and poetic, too:
They were leaving the house of nightmares, but despite all their efforts it still held them in a firm grip. Only their bodies could escape its influence, but their minds could never do the same.
How horrible Clark's situation is:
Sometime later that night he had found himself in a park and didn’t exactly know if it was Centennial Park or if he was in a smaller park close to the suburbs of Metropolis. He could hardly estimate how long he had been crawling rather than walking through the streets of the city.
Imagine -
Superman crawling through the streets of Metropolis!!
And this, too, seems so terrible - imagine needing a functioning pay phone and being unable to find one:
He had tried everything, but he hadn’t been successful with the payphone, because he couldn't find a working payphone. He had to have lost his wallet somewhere.
And no one wants to help him:
Clark had tried to get a cab, but no one had been willing to take a drunk along who might throw up in his cab. The lack of money had only added to the problem.
And in the previous chapter, if I remember correctly, even a police officer refused to listen to Clark, because he appeared to be drunk. What a nightmarish situation.
A park bench had seemed so inviting that he couldn’t resist. He had promised himself just a few minutes of rest, but before he even realized it he had drifted off to sleep.
Somehow this image of Clark asleep on a park bench, exhausted, helpless and deserted by everybody, burned itself into my mind.
Clark was glad that he was more or less back to normal. His flight was unstable but not to a threatening extent.
This, too, made me see a very strong picture in my mind: a slightly wobbly Superman in a somewhat drunken-looking flight.
She says that Clark Kent died last night, and that Lex Luthor is responsible for that. But since I don’t have a murderer, and I don’t have a dead body, there isn’t much I can do about that. I don’t have any evidence but his wallet that Clark Kent even was here tonight. And even that isn’t very convincing, since he and his wallet were not necessarily at the same place. Of course I trust Lois Lane, but to be honest, I don’t really know what to think of it. She was close to a nervous breakdown if not even beyond that when I last saw her.”
Interesting. Henderson is prepared to dismiss Lois's claim that Clark had been at Lex's place, and that he had been pushed to his death by Lex.
“Oh Clark,” she whispered. “If I only knew whether you’re alive or dead. If I could only talk to you.” Lois was tired. Crying for hours had seriously drained her. She closed her eyes.
“You can, honey,” his soft voice replied. “What’s bothering you so much, sweetheart?”
“Clark,” she said hoarsely.
He stepped around the sofa, and his complexion was transparent at first, but he became more and more visible, more and more firm.
Wow, this is scary! I love how Lois sees Clark as a ghost.
At first Lois's vision is lovely as Clark kisses her, but then her dream changes:
“I’m not gone, Lois.” he murmured into her ears and his breath tickled her neck, sending shivers down her spine. “I’m in your heart, forever.”
“But that’s not enough, Clark. I want to see you and feel you,” she said and tears filled her eyes again. The short moment of relief was over.
“It’s your fault, Lois. You accepted Luthor’s proposal, I begged you so often to not get involved with him. It’s your fault that I’m not alive anymore. This is the only way I can be close to you.” He answered.
And it gets worse, as Clark starts blaming Lois more and more for his death and starts threatening to punish her:
“It’s a bit late to be sorry, don’t you think?” he stated fiercely after she broke the single-sided kiss.
“I love you, Clark,” she said weakly.
“Prove it, Lois. I don’t believe in words. You stay with me from now on and forever. No cheating on me, Lois. I’ll come to you in the nights when you are asleep. I’ll be in your dreams until you beg me to get out of them. But I won’t leave you anymore.”
Yes, Dream-Clark is being scary, indeed. But Lois is telling herself that she deserves whatever he said to her:
That hadn’t been Clark speaking but her conscience. At least she hoped so. But what if it had been Clark, and his ghost really planned on making her life a living hell because he blamed her for his death? And who was she kidding? It *had* been her fault!
A soft tapping on the window interrupted her thoughts. Lois wasn’t sure whether she wanted to see this man right now. She didn’t look at the window and made no gesture to invite him in. But she didn’t have much choice because the door to Clark’s balcony wasn’t closed. She heard Superman’s footsteps when he approached her.
This is very interesting. Lois
hears Superman tap on Clark's window, and she hears him come in and approach her. But she isn't looking at him.
“I know that you are alive, but it’s not you that I need now, Superman… I…I… still have feelings for you, but not like I feel for Clark. I…can’t go… go on living without him,” Lois sobbed. “I lost him and it’s my fault.” She cried out heart-wrenchingly.
Clark lacked words. He went over to her and sat down next to the small weeping woman, who had buried her face in her hands. He embraced her in a weak attempt to soothe her. He couldn’t believe that he had really done this to her. Why hadn’t he told her his secret earlier? Why hadn’t he tried harder to get to her and to explain everything? He looked around quickly and checked for Perry, but he had already left the apartment. This was the best opportunity he was going to get. Clark swallowed hard.
“You didn’t lose me, Lois, honey. I…I’m Clark.”
Ah, this is intense! I love it!
Clark hadn’t been sure which persona to choose to go to Lois. He knew that coming as Clark might be rather shocking, but when he had seen her weeping and suffering, he felt that he needed to be close to her. Close in a way that the spandex outfit would never allow him to be. Clark was her friend - and he hoped more - while Superman was more distant to her as they had never discussed private things. After he had entered the apartment, he had quickly changed back into Clark. He wasn't even wearing the 'suit', but she hadn't looked at him, not even a single glance.
And now we learn that, indeed, he
had come to her as Clark, but she hadn't looked at him because she was sure that he was "only" Superman!
He had finally told her the truth, and that was the single most agonizing moment in his whole life. It was worse than the moment he had made his first appearance as Superman when he had been anxious that Lois would recognize at once that he was Clark. It had been easier to cope with the moment when he had told Lois that he loved her. He hadn’t been this afraid when he had first noticed that he was different from the people around him. Nothing in his whole life could be compared to this. He wanted her to say something even if she would send him away and tell him to never come back again.
I love your description of how horribly scary it was for Clark to tell Lois his secret.
Unfortunately, Lois reacted with far too much anger. Yes, I can understand that she was shocked and upset, but I had hoped that she would have learnt something from her past mistakes. But she seems to have learnt the wrong kind of lesson:
She was angry at herself for having been so blind. Not only had she missed that Lex was a criminal, she had also been completely blind at what seemed to be so obvious now.
But Lois, what you
really needed to learn from this awful experience is that you love Clark and can't be without him in your life. Instead you are just furious at him for lying to you, and you send him away. Sigh.
And Mrs. Cox is waiting in the wings, armed with her knowledge of Clark's double identity and, no doubt, armed with the means necessary to kill him. And of course, she doesn't mind killing Lois, too.
Well, what a situation! I don't much like the way this part ended, but then again, there is another chapter coming up, I know. Will the next part be the last one, or do you have more nasty surprises up your sleeve? Ah, well, Barbara, I don't doubt that you will eventually give us a happy ending!
Ann
