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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
He didn’t have the strength to fly, she realized, feeling disheartened.
Her stomach sank and a bit of acid came up the back of her throat, making her feel nauseous. They were going to hit the ground.
She wanted to scream, beg, cry, plead, but no words, no sound would come. She watched in horrified silence as they plummeted towards the ground below them. The closer they got to the ground, the less she was able to make out. She could hardly even see them anymore - they were so small. Pain. Richard returned the pain in her eyes and nodded at her. “I know...” He stepped in front of her, wrapping his arms around her as if to shield her from what was going to happen. “I love you.” He really is a good man. “Those cameras don’t capture... sound, do they?” she asked, trying to keep the panic from her voice. They had discussed some delicate issues up on the roof. She couldn’t remember if she had actually called him Clark or not, but... Heart in throat! “Jason, why don’t you go with Mr. White for a minute, okay?” Wouldn't Jason call Perry "Uncle Perry"? He is Richard's uncle. “Please, Clark. Please. Wake up. I need to look into your eyes again. I need you to hold me. It’s been three days...” More pain. You're good at this, DJ. “Please don’t leave me...” he murmured, his voice thick with sleep.
“I won’t. I’ll stay as long as they let me.” Her voice was unsteady and it cracked a little at the end.
“No... ever.” His eyes were barely open, searching for her.
“What?” She sniffled again.
“Don’t ever leave.”
She smiled at him through eyes still brimming with tears. “Well I do have to work you know.” Love it. He squeezed her hand one more time before he let it go. Her body was blocking his face from the doctor and nurse and he quickly mouthed ‘I love you’. She mouthed it back and smiled at him. /me is happy, happy, happy.
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
First of all thank you for not leaving us hanging too long. Another emotional segment. I really, really feel sorry for Richard now because he knows that Lois truly loves Superman and he is willing to just move on, now and let her be happy. I hate that poor Jason is going to have to be split between Superman and the man that he thought had been his father all along. But his resiliance is showing. He is adapting well. Did Richard really think that Jason was his? Or did Lois just refuse to name his father and Richard accepted that? “Please don’t leave me...” he murmured, his voice thick with sleep.
“I won’t. I’ll stay as long as they let me.” Her voice was unsteady and it cracked a little at the end.
“No... ever.” His eyes were barely open, searching for her.
“What?” She sniffled again.
“Don’t ever leave.” Now was that a proposal? I think that Clark has learned his lesson and he is going to slip in as fast as possible and claim Lois (and Jason) as his forever. I've thoroughly enjoyed this segmen and I cannot believe that you have only one more post for this story...which you are going to put out no later than tomorrow...right?  It's been absolutely fabulous so far!
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Still keeping up... I had a few sniffles during the hospital scene... There have been a couple of points where I have just thought, huh? but it really just means that I need to read the prequel. You posted at an excellent time today!  We threw a house party last night, and I just don't have the brain activity to do any graduate work. JD who forgot so quickly how late college parties last
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
awwww I loved this chapter. the ending was so sweet. good job and Yay too! Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Hey Lisa! He really is, isn't he? Makes you like him despite yourself. Good point on the Uncle Perry thing - I guess I just didn't really see *this Perry* as being called "uncle". We saw Jason at the Daily Planet a couple of times in the movie and Perry didn't ever interact with him. He doesn't strike me as being real "kid friendly".  Now *our* Perry? That's a totally different story. I'm good at pain?  It's my dual-identity - Evil DJ.  I'm glad you're "happy, happy, happy" and I hope you enjoy the ending. Thanks for your comments, Lisa. Hi Sheila! Yes, didn't want to leave you hanging on that cliff for too long. It makes me feel good that you feel sorry for Richard because that means I did my job. I wanted people to feel for Richard - because he does seem like such a good guy. Of course, none of us want to "feel" enough for him though that he should end up with Lois. Did Richard really think that Jason was his? Or did Lois just refuse to name his father and Richard accepted that? In the *movie* it never says. However, in Supermen United, I explained it that since Lois didn't remember her night with Superman (and the fact that I had her hook up with Richard fairly quickly) that they thought he was Richard's son and that he was just a little premature (makes up for the couple of months time difference). I'll let you take it however you want.  I've thoroughly enjoyed this segmen and I cannot believe that you have only one more post for this story...which you are going to put out no later than tomorrow...right? Thank you Sheila! I'm so glad you've enjoyed it. And yes, alas, just one more segment... and yes, I did promise I'd post it on Monday. So yes, no later than tomorrow night. Thanks for the fabulous and for the fdk, Sheila! Hi Jen! Sniffles? Really? Yeah! There have been a couple of points where I have just thought, huh? but it really just means that I need to read the prequel. Probably... hopefully. Yes, there were definitely references and stuff that wouldn't make sense if you haven't read the first story (which I hope will be uploaded next weekend... just depends on where it is in the pool - it's been submitted and edited though). Glad I could prey upon your weakened brain activity. Hee hee. Thanks for the comments! Hi Laura! Glad you enjoyed it and I hope you'll enjoy the ending even more. Thanks for the fdk! Thanks everone! I'll see you with the final part sometime tomorrow!!! -- MR 
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
I'm extremely sorry to say that I seem to have no time at all these days, DJ. I admit that I didn't even try to comment on part five, because it was so Luthor-heavy. But I love this part, it's just that I don't have time to comment much, and I've certainly no time to do any real quoting. But I loved how you showed us Lois looking down on Clark and Jason falling. I loved how their fall took so long - it would, I guess, if they fell from a skyscraper - but at the same time it reminded me of the feeling of falling from a high place in a nightmare. You fall and fall and fall. You know you are going to die when you hit the ground, but you just keep falling... and falling... and falling.... I felt something slightly similar, when you had Lois look at the falling shapes of Clark and Jason. And it was great how she was relieved at first, when she saw that Clark had Jason in his arms. And then she was horrified when she realized that Clark wasn't flying away, because he couldn't fly, and both he and Jason might be killed anyway. It was brilliantly written. The hospital scene was equally good, or actually even better. It was strongly reminiscent of the hospital scene in Superman Returns. In fact, I think your writing served as a brilliant "companion" to that movie scene. Suddenly I felt even more strongly what was really going on in the movie. I said I wouldn't quote, but I will quote this: <Dad?>
The sound of his son’s voice calling out to him...
His son was okay. He’d saved him. He remembered.
And his son was here with him now.
Here where? Where was he? He couldn’t seem to move, couldn’t even open his eyes.
It was like before, when Lois had come to visit him in the hospital after his fall from orbit had almost killed him.
He could hear her then too, but he couldn’t respond. This is so moving - Clark feels Jason and Lois's presence, he can hear what they say and he can feel when they touch him, but he can't respond. Suddenly I felt so strongly that this is what happened in the movie, too. Okay, okay, I already knew it was like this in the movie, but I didn't really feel it until I read this. And just when the nurse is going to force Lois to leave, Clark manages to call out her name, ever so softly. The threat of losing her, even for a few hours, is enough to force himself to reach out to her. To call her name. I love it. Then Lois and Clark reunite, and they start kissing passionately, even though he is in the hospital as Superman, and even though they know that a doctor and at least one nurse are on their way. Careful, Lois and Clark. Are you going to show the hospital staff that Superman is madly in love with Lois Lane? What about your future together? If you are serious about having a true and official relationship, will it be Clark or Superman who is sharing his life with Lois? If you want Clark to be the one, then you shouldn't kiss in public when he is being Superman. Or have you already given up on Clark? Have you decided that no one is ever going to believe that Lois is in love with Clark, so you may as well stop trying to pretend that she is? Will Lois, in other words, officially have a relationship with Superman? Well, whatever their decision will be, Lois has made another decision already. She will not move to Paris with Richard, and Jason is staying with her in Metropolis. But I'm glad to hear that she is determined to make sure that Richard stays a part of Jason's life. As you've said, DJ, Richard has been the only father that Jason has ever known, and he has been a wonderful father figure. I loved this chapter, and I'm looking forward to the next. Ann
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994 |
Now see, that's what I am talking about.
First, you set up a wonder premise. Then, you drive us to not just one, but two cliffs, back to back, mind you, and then we get a nice WAFF moment.
Makes me wonder what you are going to do to us in the final installment? A Tank Ending, perhaps...?
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Ann, oh Ann. I missed your comments - but I understand... I know your hatred of Luthor. I'm so glad you enjoyed how the fall was written - and "brilliantly" - thank you. I was going for the SR hospital feeling for the hospital scene. "Brilliant companion"... Wow, thanks Ann. Be careful or you might give me a big head But I take it as a high compliment if I was able to move you to feel more through what I wrote than what you saw in the movie. Yeah! I'm glad people seem to agree with me about Richard. He really was a good guy and he was a good dad to Richard... and as much as I want to see Lois with Clark and Clark having a relationship with his son - it's not fair to cut Richard off (and hopefully they don't kill him off either... but I don't have any control over that... I only have control over my own muse's universe -- and even then it's "iffy" sometimes. Glad you enjoyed it Ann and thank you for all that lovely fdk. Hello James. Tank ending? Hmm, you know I actually haven't tried one of those yet. I'll have to do that one of these days... but no, alas, this story, nay, this part, was to wrap up all the loose ends in Supermen United. So look for a happy, waffy, fulfilling ending. I hope you all enjoy! I'm getting ready to post soon. Thank you all so much for the fdk! -- MR
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166 |
No time, no time. That's what I get for reading the whole thing this morning. I did have to stop a few times, but I've just got to finish this thing! Are you going to show the hospital staff that Superman is madly in love with Lois Lane? Oh, Ann, you wouldn't believe the things that hospital staff have to keep secret. "My boyfriend's coming to visit. Can you keep my husband out til he leaves?" No joke. This happened to me on multiple occasions when I worked in psych. We monitor all those visitors, you know... And since DJ has so often teased, we let her out every so often so she can write fanfic.... 
~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
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