Lois found the Lord on the observation deck, staring out at the stars. In spite of the speed at which they traveled, it almost looked as if they were sitting still.
“This is the one thing I’m grateful to your race for,” Lois said as she stepped up beside Kal.
He looked down at her. “It is spectacular, isn’t it?” But he didn't mean the view. He was looking at Lois, really looking. She was a remarkable woman and for reasons he didn't understand, she moved him. Mind, body, and soul.
She turned slowly from where she'd been staring at Kal, an expression on her face he'd never seen before. "So, why all the secrecy, Milord?"
Forcing himself to stop watching Lois, and longing for more, Kal sighed heavily as he leaned over to rest his arms on the railing in front of them. "Do you believe in gut feelings, Miss Lane?"
"I wasn't aware you did," she replied, surprise evident in her tone.
"Nor was I. Yet, from the day I saw Mi-Lay lying dead in that room, my gut has been tied in knots. I'm overwhelmed by a sense of... dread." He shifted so that he could look at her.
"Like something's going to happen?"
"Precisely. I couldn't stop thinking that if I did not switch transports, I wouldn't return to Krypton. I actually don't think I would have made it to Earth."
"You think someone's trying to kill you?" Lois leaned slightly against the railing, curiosity replacing the surprise on her face.
"Yes. Don't ask me why, but that's exactly what I think."
"Have you heard from Ching?"
"He should have sent communications before now." Kal straightened and thrust a hand through his hair. "Now, I'm worried that something's happened at the Palace."
They lapsed into silence, staring out again at the blanket of stars before them. The past couple of weeks had found the First Lord distraught over first Mi-Lay and now this feeling he had. He'd asked himself over and over who could possibly want him dead. And why? Ching would be the only one to profit from his death, and he would bet his life that his brother was *not* the one to fear.
Of course, there was Ti-El, too. But even he wouldn't gain much if the heir was dead. Ti was the son of a concubine, unable to take rule of Krypton. Besides, Ching was next in line for the Throne.
It was all beginning to be too much. For a man who normally had everything, including his emotions, under tight control, Kal was off balance. And maybe that was what caused him to turn his attention to the lady next to him.
Kal straightened and smiled down at Lois. "Tell me, Miss Lane, are you happy to be going to Earth?"
"Yes," she answered automatically. "But why are you taking me? Not that I'm questioning it or anything. It's just that I would have thought you'd take along your wife. Or maybe your brother. Even your uncle. I wasn't expecting..." She stopped to look him because was smiling broadly, almost laughing. "What's so funny?"
Kal's smile had turned into a full fledged grin. The first he could ever remember. "Have you always done that?"
"Done what?" She crossed her arms in a defensive stance.
"Babble."
"I do not babble."
"Yes, you do." She opened her mouth to shoot off another denial, but quickly clamped it shut again. Kal's smile had faded and he felt as if he was falling into her deep, dark eyes.
Slowly he lifted his hand and gently cupped Lois’ cheek. “You really are a beautiful woman,” he whispered. For the last week it had been almost impossible to avoid Lois. She was one of only fifty two people aboard the ship, making it very difficult not to be around her. In doing so, Kal’s admiration for the woman had grown stronger.
Standing before her now, allowing her nearness to wash away his anxieties, Kal was helpless to stop his pull to her. His eyes flashed to her lips, full... inviting. Kissing, as the earthlings had named the intimate act of mouth upon mouth, was considered unnecessary and until he’d met Lois, Kal had completely agreed. Now though, before this woman, his hand on her face, desire raging within him, something drew him to her. Whether primal or simply his need to taste her, it was too strong to resist. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers in a display of affection in which he’d never before participated.
The first press of his lips to hers was a feather light touch and he quickly withdrew. Her eyes were filled with disbelief and shock. To Kal’s relief, he saw no indifference, so he pressed against her again. This time the touch was slightly firmer and lasted a beat longer. Kissing, he thought somewhere in the depths of his mind, was rather nice.
“Lord…”
“Kal. My name’s Kal,” he told her as he lifted his other hand to grasp her side.
“What are you doing?”
The hand on her cheek moved to her other side to hold her firmly in place. “Nothing you didn’t want me to. You could have pulled away.”
Lois didn't speak, but her eyes bore into his. A thousand questions floated behind her wide gaze, just as they whirled inside his own head. But still he saw nothing to indicate she would stop him if he were to kiss her again. Her mouth was slightly agape, her lips damp and calling to him to claim them once again with his own.
Unable and unwilling to stop his body from responding he leaned back in to kiss her again. This one was gentle, and he held against her for several moments, soaking up the incredible things he suddenly felt.
Every nerve ending in his body jumped to alert, electricity racing through his veins. His heart began to pound against his chest and he felt his palms grow sweaty. If he'd thought he'd desired Lois before now, he'd been sadly mistaken. This was unlike anything he'd *ever* felt.
He pulled back and drew in a ragged breath. “Lois,” Kal whispered her name reverently as he stared at her. One, two, three times he pressed his lips to hers, drawing back each time to give her time to pull away. When her eyes darkened and she leaned in for the next kiss, Kal's knees threatened to give out on him.
A moment later, he felt as if he’d pass out when she pushed her tongue into his mouth. Before her, before now, such invasion would have been unthinkable, unacceptable. This was exactly the reason Kryptonians didn't kiss; felt this act was unsanitary, unnecessary. One didn't need to share such intimacy to procreate.
What's expediant was their philosophy.
And to have the woman be the aggressor was even more staggering. Kal had been born and raised in a man's world, where men were the ones to invade and take their pleasure. Being on the receiving end of such assertiveness was positively breathless.
It was also most certainly invigorating... and absolutely blissful. Kal's body finally caught up to his brain and all hesitation was gone. He surged forward with his tongue and with the first full taste, he was lost. Their kiss escalated slowly into an all out assault on each other’s senses. When they pulled apart, both heaved deeply as they stared into the other’s eyes.
++
Just once, Lois told herself. Just this one time she’d give in to what her heart screamed for her to do. She’d never before experienced desire for a man, but with this one, it was uncontrollable.
Kal had looked so lost when he talked of his feelings. That alone was probably foreign enough for him. Emotion was something one hardly ever experienced as a Kryptonian. Dread was definitely something the First Lord never had to worry about. Add that to everything she'd seen over the last week and she'd been unable to stop herself from feeling sympathy for Kal.
While his life had been one of luxury and advantage, it had to have been extremely isolating. As a child, being raised to take over your entire world, he probably never gave thought to his plight. But as an adult, it was plain to see that Kal was a very lonely man.
She hadn't been wrong about that speck of light in his eyes. It had been there several times since that day in the garden. And with every passing day, it had only grown bigger.
Lois could see it. Compassion, warmth, gentleness... It was all there, even if he had no idea. Kal was not born to be the kind of man he'd been raised to be. His natural personality was kind, gentle, patient. He'd been bred to be something he truly wasn't, forced by his position and his station.
But here, with her, she could see the real man, had seen him over and over during their trip. She alone was witness to the battle that raged within him. Frustration waged war with education; compassion clawed at his concrete mask in an attempt to be seen and heard. She experienced his turmoil, felt his pain. All of a sudden she wanted to feel the man as well.
Kal finally lifted his head and spoke aloud. “Engage all security."
The computerized devices beeped to let the occupants know the room was secure as Kal drew Lois fully against his body for another kiss. She moaned into his mouth as he eased her backwards toward the lounge.
"Tell me now, if you want to stop," Kal rasped as he held himself in check above her.
Lois stared into the dark eyes before her. They'd blackened a bit in desire, so unlike the eyes of the First Lord the world knew. These were soft, warm, and they were even slightly hopeful. On a world of men accustomed to having their way, this man was giving her a choice, asking for her permission. And that was the deciding factor. Kal was willingly giving control over to her, and right or wrong, Lois was going to lead him into completely new territory.
"Show me... Kal," she said softly, then surrendered to the most powerful man on two worlds.
++
Yes! She said yes! He couldn't believe she wanted him to do this. Straining to keep from rushing their encounter, Kal shed his tunic, dropping it to the floor beside the plush lounge.
"Here. Let me," she told him.
He hesitated briefly before leaning forward for her to unzip his suit. A deep breath was drawn between his teeth when she wrapped her arms around him to reach his back. Kal's hands rested on either side of Lois' head while she took her sweet time with his zipper. He'd almost questioned her more when she'd told him to show her. There was no way she could *want* him the way he wanted her. However, his new position brought their bodies together and he could feel her heart race, feel her ragged breathing against his ear.
"Sit up," she ordered and he complied immediately.
Settled up on his knees, Lois was the one to peel his suit down off his upper body. Excitement raced through him like never before. He'd done this to Zara, but she had never actually touched him during their couplings, let alone undressed him. And though he could clearly feel Lois' nervousness, he could also feel her determination.
Why? Why would she want to do this? The fiery little woman had argued passionately for her world. She'd argued against being his concubine. Now she took the lead in their encounter. Kal was in awe of a woman for the first time in his life.
His eyes stayed fixed on the figure beneath him, though her eyes roamed over his body when it was revealed to her. Her perusal made him feel satisfied in a way that he couldn't describe. She was looking at him as if she could literally eat him.
By Zor, she was! Kal's mind shouted when Lois leaned forward and kissed his chest. He was too shocked to do anything but sit there. And that gave her time to continue her exploration.
"ZOR!" he shouted as Lois kissed his chest in just the right place.
She immediately sat back and stared at him. "What? Did that hurt?"
"NO!" he rushed to assure her. "Just... surprised me is all."
Her brows furrowed as she studied him, but his voice interrupted whatever thoughts she'd had.
"Please... do it again." Gently, ever so gently he reached out to cup the back of her head, guiding her back to his chest. This time when she kissed him, he allowed his body to take over. His head dropped back as Lois slowly moved across his chest. After a moment, her hands started to roam hesitantly, seeking out smooth skin and forcing a breath from Kal's lungs.
How was it possible? Kal thought as Lois continued her assault on his senses. How was it possible to feel so much because a woman was... Zara had certainly never done this before! She'd never even touched him at all during sex. He'd touched her, of course, putting into practice the things he'd learned as part of his manhood training. She'd, in turn, put her own training into practice and 'faked' it. That had been on their union night. Since then she'd refused to even pretend to enjoy it. So, Kal had taken to undressing, then hurrying through the encounter as quickly as he could.
But this woman, the one...
Touching him... there!
Kal's shocked eyes watched as Lois moved her hands over his body, down...
She paused briefly, as if realizing just what her actions meant. He was certain she was about to tell him that she didn't want to continue when she spoke.
"May I?" she asked, hands poised at the sides of the material on his hips.
She was asking his permission to remove his clothes! She wanted... more.
He could only numbly nod his agreement, then watched as she slowly pulled his suit down over his hips. The tight shorts was the only covering him as, again, Lois grew still, her eyes fixed on his lower body.
Kal's large hand slipped under her hair, gently cradling the side of her head. "We can stop, Lois," he told her softly. And he meant it. If she didn't want this, he would stop. She might be his concubine; the law might allow for him to do this with her; but there was no way he'd do anything to purposely hurt this woman.
Not now. Not with everything he felt for her. And there was no denying that anymore. Kal felt very strongly for this woman, and there was no way he'd force her to do anything, no matter how frustrating it might prove to be.
++
They could stop; he'd just given her an out. Yet, at the moment, there was nothing Lois had ever wanted more than Kal.
She glanced up at him through her lashes and immediately relaxed. God, and Zor, help them all when this man realizes his true character, she thought as she gazed into his eyes.
Without a word, she pushed him backwards until he sat on the lounge. "You need to take your boots off first," she explained at his look of confusion.
"I meant it, Lois. We don't have to do this. I can control myself. We can..." Anything else he was about to say was silenced when Lois' mouth covered his.
How could a man who came from a race of people who didn't kiss at all, be so good at it?! That was her thought as Kal held her face on either side and pushed his tongue into her mouth again. And why was he giving her control? Was it because he suspected she'd never done this? Was it because he wanted her to do it willingly and thought allowing her to lead the way would keep her at ease? Maybe it was because women on his world were merely instruments of pleasure and he wanted to see if one could actually *give* pleasure. No matter what it was, she felt empowered by his trust. Her hands began to smooth over his firm chest, his shoulders, and into his hair.
It feels sooo good! She thought as she settled onto his lap. Their kisses continued for several long moments before it dawned on her that something was wrong. Kal's hands still framed her face, and he sat absolutely rigid under her.
Slowly, reluctantly, she drew back to look into his eyes. "What? What is it?"
He stared at her for a moment before he dropped his hands, allowing them to rest on the lounge. "It's just, well, I realized that you're... not..." He stammered a bit, unable to finish his sentence.
"I'm not what?"
"You're not... Kryptonian. I'm not sure how to... do this... with you."
"Kal, you're married. You've done this before."
"Yes, but..." This time he sighed and looked away from her.
"What?" She raised her hand and cupped the side of his face, forcing him to meet her gaze again. "But what, Kal?"
"I won't do that to you," he told her sternly.
"I want to do this," she said with a warm smile.
"That's not what I mean, Lois." He moved her off his lap, leaned forward to discard his boots and pull his suit completely off, then stood and paced to the railing again.
Lois was confused. What *did* he mean? She'd consented; she wanted this. God, she wanted this. And as she rose to her feet, her conscience jumped to question why. She batted that voice down into the recesses of her mind and slowly approached Kal.
"What do you mean?" she asked, a warm hand going up to rub his back. He felt so good, she thought as she waited for him to speak. Of course, she'd known that he would. Kal was impossibly good-looking. Even when she'd hated him, or thought she had, there was no way she could have denied that he was handsome. He was tall, with broad shoulders and muscles to spare. Black hair that reminded her of silk graced his boyish features, while gorgeous brown eyes had the power to melt you to a puddle. Surely he would feel as good as he looked.
"When a noble starts to change, in his boyhood, he begins to undergo a different type of training."
Kal's voice stopped her rambling thoughts, and she turned to focus on him, without removing her hand from him completely. She allowed it to rest on his side, just above his hip. Maybe if she kept contact...
Right, he's speaking.
"This time is known as manhood training. Essentially it's sex education." He turned to face her then. "With a twist," he added softly. "We're taught how to... please our wives so that they will give us many heirs. But at the same time, we're told how to get as much satisfaction from sex as we possibly can."
"You're actually taught to be selfish in bed?" she asked incredulously. Something she didn't know about this... logical race of people.
"Yes," he said simply. "We're taught a number of ways to receive pleasure, and we're told to take it often. Only to our wives are we to show any kind of... courtesy."
Lois took that in for a moment before she spoke again. "Then remember that. Do that," she offered helpfully. What else was she supposed to say? Hell, she'd never done this before and she really couldn't see the big deal anyway. Just... feel.
"I would never do to you what I've done to her."
That made her blink. Just what had he done? "Have you... hurt her?"
"No. Not physically." Kal sighed again, looked around for inspiration, then took her hands in his. "On our union night, I was... patient, gentle. Zara... responded, so... Later, we talked. She told me she would perform her duty, but would prefer to do so as acquaintances and nothing else. Since then, things have been..."
"Impersonal?" she supplied.
He shrugged, a confused expression on his face.
"All business?" she corrected herself.
He nodded then.
No wonder he was the person he was. Taught to be selfish, raised to be a tyrant, and unliked by his own wife.
"Lois, you can't even call what I do with Zara sex. She just... she's just there, while I..." He glanced down at her hands as he finished. "... while I..."
Lois wanted to cry when he lifted his eyes back to hers. The pain behind his brown orbs broke her heart.
"I'm there for one reason and one reason only," Kal finally decided. "Law states Zara has to conceive my heir, but it says nothing about how we get it done... Or that we have to like it," he finished in a mumble as he released Lois' hands and turned to stare out into space.
The penny finally dropped for Lois. Kal was saying his relations with Zara were forced, over quickly, with no interaction whatsoever. No wonder he wasn't sure what to do.
But what about the caregiver he'd sent for? The very few rumors she'd heard included that bit of information. True, she'd heard he'd only done that a time or two, but still...
She wasn't about to ask him though. Not now. He'd just confessed very personal, very painful information to her. Kal ached for what he'd never had. No holding, no one to treat him with respect, from childhood and right into his adult life. It was a wonder he wasn't even more stern and unwavering than he was. Essentially this man was a virgin, physically and emotionally.
How impossibly odd was that to fathom? A tower of strength, Lord Kal-El ruled his world with a firm hand, took possession of his wife with determination, and bled from emotional scars only Lois had recently become aware of.
She reached forward to wrap her arms around his waist, wanting to be the one to hold him for the first time; the one to show him that intimacy between a man and woman could be wonderful, mutual. They would cross over into this new territory for the first time together.
She started to kiss his back, and he slowly straightened in her arms, allowing her to nuzzle the back of his neck.
"Just feel, Kal," she whispered before sucking his earlobe into her mouth. "Just feel. On Earth we don't think so hard. We just... feel. How do you feel right now, Kal? Show me."
++
She'd repeated her request again. Well, he wasn't exactly sure he could show her what he didn't understand, but he was going to try. He turned to capture Lois' mouth again, his hands tentatively holding onto to her waist.
"You can... move your... hands," Lois told him against his lips, between kisses.
Yeah, maybe he could. Maybe that's what she'd like. And his hands moved to her back. Up slowly, back down again. Then one hand moved into her hair the way she'd done him earlier, holding her firmly in place while his tongue ravaged her mouth.
Why didn't Kryptonians do this? Kal wondered as he lost himself in the feel of her tongue against his, against his lips. Something about sharing germs, unsanitary something or other was the answered thought as she sucked his bottom lip into her mouth.
Oh, who cares, was the next thought as a burst of boldness overtook him and the hand still on her back smoothed down over her buttocks, gently kneading. That pressed her body more fully against his.
Zor! He had never felt this way before. Of course, he'd never actually had a woman pressed against his body this way. The sensations running through him was threatening to overwhelm him.
Finally, his libido took complete control. He drew away from Lois and started to remove her clothes. Only when she stood before him fully naked did he stop.
"Incredible," he whispered as he lifted shaky hands to touch her again, kissing her neck softly.
"That feels good," Lois moaned, then stepped back to settle on the lounge once more.
Kal was breathless and he hadn't done a thing yet. But seeing Lois like this was too much.
This woman, this small, fragile Earthling was about to change the course of fate, and she had no clue.
Not taking his eyes from hers, Kal finished undressing.
"Tell me yes," he ordered without moving.
"Yes," she breathed, then lay completely back.
Kal stepped forward, then joined her on the lounge. Looking down at the woman before him, more changes took place inside his heart. A warmth he'd never known washed over him.
He eased forward, bringing his body down to hers. "You feel..."
"I know. So do you," she told him as she pushed her hands around to his back.
That's when he noticed Lois was trembling. His head came up so that he could look at her face. "What? Don't be afraid..."
"I'm not... I've just... never done this before," she replied.
He would have definitely argued otherwise there. Lois had been so confident in her actions. He'd even attributed the slight hesitation on her part to nervousness in just being with him. But this... this was...
His heart filled to overflowing. Finding out she was a virgin, along with what he realized he felt for Lois sent jolts of pure pleasure through his body. Suddenly they were back on the same footing, unsure and curious.
Kal brought his hand up to smooth her hair back from her face and smiled down at her. "And you trust me to be the one to change that?" He couldn't help but ask. She *had* to be sure this was what she wanted.
She could only stare at him, her hands still moving over the smooth skin of his back. "Yes," she told him after a long moment. She wrapped her arms around his neck, placed her mouth against his ear and whispered, "Just feel."
Did she realize how much power she possessed?
Kal could only do as she'd said. His body took over and his mind was filled with Lois. There was only here, now, with this woman. To hell with Krypton, Earth, and anything but Lois.
He slanted his mouth over hers and several moments later, his body was guiding him. He was mesmerized by her reactions .
She wasn't 'faking' it. She hadn't received 'womanhood' training. *He'd* done this. He'd made her feel these things, do these things...
Kal paused, shocked by his own emotions, and gazed into Lois' eyes. She smiled up at him, the simple gesture telling him more than any words ever could. Wanting more, craving more, *needing* more, he captured her mouth with his own, allowing his body to take over once again.
"Damn!"
"Zor!"
Both had yelled out at the same time. Their eyes met, their tongues met, their souls met.
Kal felt as if he'd just... come home. Their bodies strained into one another as lips sought out more, hands were everywhere.
Kal covered Lois' mouth with his own and gave himself over completely to the kiss.
The kiss escalated into an assault. His large frame shook from this very new, very emotional encounter. For the very first time in his life, Kal had experienced this type of intimacy for the sole purpose of sharing his body with another. No duty, no logic, no amount of training had come into play with this act.
And no amount of training could have possibly prepared him for how he'd feel now.
He looked down at the woman beneath him, her brown eyes staring right back up at him. It was obvious she, too, felt something more powerful than any pleasure from her body. Suddenly tears filled his eyes and he regretfully pulled away from her.
++
The most intense physical pleasure had been replaced with the most breathtaking emotional pleasure, only to be replaced again with the most heart wrenching realization.
Lois watched as Kal dropped heavily to the floor in front of the lounge. He felt it as well. There was something there, between them. Something more than attraction or desire. Something so strong both had to struggle to breathe.
But it couldn't be. She could only ever be his concubine. They would never be able to explore these feelings, expand them, embrace them.
Lois slid off the lounge and settled between his legs. He immediately wrapped his arms around her and buried his face against her neck.
“I wish we were somewhere else,” Lois whispered, desperate to say something, anything to ease their pain.
“Where would we be?”
“Where there’s no duty or obligations or wars or lords or…”
“Wives,” Kal said regretfully.
"Or wives," she agreed. They lapsed into a silence before she shifted to look at him with bright eyes. “I'm sorry.”
He smiled softly, lifted his hand to cup her face, then leaned to press a gentle kiss to her lips. "I'm not." His fingers tucked her hair behind her ear as he continued to look at her. "I can't force myself to be sorry."
“I know, Kal. I feel the same way." She turned to stare out at the solitude of space, unable to continue to look at him. "I wanted it to happen. It just... shouldn’t have. There’s so much between us and that's why I'm sorry.”
“Lois, there doesn't have to be things between us.” Her head whipped back to him then. "You live in my house. You could live in my chamber, as my..."
"Your concubine. Your... exactly what would I be, Kal?" She rose and began to gather up her clothes. She was no man's whore, not even to one she'd lost her heart to.
"The law says..."
“I’m not talking about law," she cut him off sharply. "I’m talking about in here, Kal.” She lifted her hand to her heart. “I know affection is something that doesn’t exist on your world and I know you only did this because it’s what you’ve wanted from the beginning.”
“Oh really?”
Damn! That hadn't come out right at all, she thought as she watched the fire start to build behind Kal's eyes. He'd risen and started jerking on his clothes.
“Kal, listen to me,” she begged. She had to make him understand. She knew he felt something for her. She'd felt it, seen it in his eyes. She just wasn't sure he understood what he was feeling. Or that he could handle it.
“No. You listen to me. I could have done this a long time ago if I’d wanted it that badly. I did not need your permission.” He snatched the top of his suit up over his shoulders before reaching for his tunic.
Lois stopped him with a gentle hand placed on his arm. “Kal, all I meant was that I know what I felt tonight was not what you felt.”
“Why don’t you tell me what I felt? Please. You seem to know. Tell me,” he clipped out in a sarcastic tone.
Lois was stunned. She couldn’t believe what they’d shared tonight was being ruined so easily. But wasn’t it better that this happen now than later? There was the potential for even deeper emotions later and she wasn’t sure she wanted to experience that. It was bad enough now. Seeing Kal with tears in his eyes as the reality of their situation set in had been so excruciating. They could never taint that with delusions of anything more. It wasn't possible. Maybe this was best. Maybe parting this room in anger would restore some kind of balance between them.
Maybe her heart could heal... eventually.
When she failed to say anything, Kal snatched his tunic on and headed for the door. He didn’t say another word before he disappeared. Lois was left to grieve in silence. Grieve for what could never be.
In the time they'd spent inside the observation room, she and Kal had shared far more than most people share in a whole lifetime. There was no denying that fact. And they'd lost even more.
With tears in her eyes and sorrow in her heart, Lois finished dressing and left. Inside her chamber, she curled herself into a ball on her bed and cried.
