Hi Jessi!
I'll be honest. I'm not usually a huge New Krypton fan. However, this sounds like a good (ie interesting) concept, setting it in the middle/end(?) of season two. That time in the L&C relationship was always my favorite, so I'm curious to see how you will handle the whole thing.
You start the story off well by beginning with a familiar scene, but missing one very familiar character--this makes it easy to visualize and so, a good introduction/prologue type part. But mostly it's a good scene to start with because it's a very important, dramatic moment. So good editing there.
So far that's all I have to say I guess. I'll just repeat: this story intrigues me and I'm excited to read more! Cheers!