Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic A Christmas idea.... (or in other words: A Round Robin)

"Clark! You lunkhead! I love you. Don't you know that by now? I'm Mrs. Clark Kent and that's fine with me." She bit her lip. "But hmmm... You won't get upset if I still use the name Lois Lane professionally, will you?"

Clark pulled her into a kiss. "Anything you want is fine with me, Lois."

Santa cleared his throat, "Hey, everybody, I knew we'd need a Christmas miracle to get those two together. It worked." Everyone started clapping.
Then Santa laughed and his belly shook like jelly. "There's just one little thing... Rudolph seems to be lost..."

"Stop!" Lois shouted. "Before you go looking for Rudolph, Clark, yes, I may want an annulment. I want to do the marriage again. Do you know that was the most horrible marriage ever? You sent Mayson to blackmail me into marrying you. You mocked me. You forced me to say that I love you, but you didn't say you love me! So on second thought, yes, I want an annulment!"

"Well, isn't this just perfect? An annulment will most certainly destroy Utopia! I love it!" Tempus exclaimed.

"Yes, quite, quite," said HG Wells who wasn't far behind. "In none of the other universes did you ever get an annulment. I fear that if you do this, it may cause a chain reaction and..."

Clark cut him off and turned on all of them angrily, “To hell with Utopia. Lois, I didn’t force you into marrying me. I did *not* bring Mayson here. For all I know *you* did - probably just so you could pull something like this. How could such a non-marriage have been horrible? How many times have I told you that I love you? You are the one that needed to admit you loved me. Well, you obvious don’t. It was all just a lie… Like I said, Lois - you are a snob, and I’m tired of you hurting me over and over. I have feelings, too. Don’t you know that? Or do you just not care? No, all you focus on is you, you, you. It’s always you, Lois. Well, I’ve had it. Goodbye, Lois.” With that Superman took off. Christmas... and Utopia was in danger.

"Hmmm!" said Lois. "Well, I guess I'm going to miss him. Because I do love him, you know. But I won't be married to him just because he said he'd take Mayson over me if I didn't. Oh, well! No sense moping around! We have Chrsitmas to take care of. Mrs Claus! What are you doing to make Christmas come here?"

"Well, dear," said Mrs Claus. "I'm trying to make the Krystmas Kryptonite. Let's see now... bubble, bubble, toil and trouble...."

"And wal lah... There it is.. It's such a nice *red* color, don't you think?"

Lois eyes almost popped out. "Red! You can't let Superman get around red kryptonite. Do you know what that does to him?"

"Yes, yes, it temporarily convinces him that he is Santa or Santa's helper. Or at least that's what happened last year."

"But.. but... it does something *different* every time...."

"Oh, yes, Lois, but this will convince him that he is Santa... or so we hope. And you... you will be Santa's helper."

And *zip!* *zat! *zoot!* Mrs Claus stirred her brew, and something was coming out of it... coming for youuuuuuuuuuu.........."

"AAAAAAAHHHH! Mmmmmmphhh!" cried Lois. Horror! She had turned into a centaur! Make that a cent-reindeer! With a shiny red nose!

In a nasaly voice, Lois said, "I didn't think being Santa's helper meant being a red-nosed reindeer. Isn't having one - Rudoph - enough?"

"Oh, no my dear. When it's really foggy and the snow if flying, one can never have too many lighted reindeer."

"Now, dear, you aren't Rudolph, of course. You aren't even Rudolphina. You are, in fact, Rosie-Lois the Rose-nosed Cent-reindeer. Now we need to make you look pretty for Christmas."

And *POOOOFFHH!!!* Suddenly Rosie-Lois was wearing a Santa hat and a Superman cape. Otherwise she wasn't wearing very much, since reindeer (and even cent-reindeer) don't usually wear clothes.

Lois protested loudly. "Hey! Do you think this flimsy cape is going to keep me warm?"

So Mrs. Claus - the real Mrs. Claus - added some fur reaching up to her jawline to keep her warm. Still, Lois was not pleased. A natural fur is as revealing as spandex, and she didn't feel like being covered decently.

"You can have this scarf as well, my little Rose. And here! Drink this. It's a Swedish Christmas drink, steaming spicy wine, called glögg. There! Drink up! That should keep you warm. Now, Lois, believe it or not, but you can fly. Or at least, you can gallop across the sky. So get galloping! Go find Superman, my girl!"

"Uhhh...." said Lois. She was seeing stars, truth be told. "That glögg was pretty strong, wasn't it?"

Lois started laughing uproarously. "I've got a rosey nose. A rosey nosey nose.. Rosey nose..."

"Lois, the rose-nosed rein-taur, had a really rosey nose..."

"Stop that, Rose! Reindeers are not supposed to sing, they are supposed to gallop. And if you can't get the music out of your ear, then hum. And make it be "Jingle Bells"! Understood?" Mrs. Claus admonished.

"Dashing throuhg the air, with a one-deer open sleigh, through the clouds we go, humming all the way..."

She quit singing and giggled. "Can I have more glögg now?"

Meanwhile, Superman was sitting on the ice on the edge of Antarctica - the other end of the world - bemoaning his fate. He pouted and said to a lone penguin, "She hates me."

Back at the North Pole, Lois decided to try some aerial galloping. Whoops! Yes, she managed to launch herself into the air, and she started galloping. Whoooops!!!!! She felt like Bambi on ice!!! She was skidding and stumbling, and - hey, what was that cloud doing there?

Lois crashed into the cloud and started tumbling down. She giggled. Falling was funny!

"Hey, Shuuu... Schuperman... I can <hic!> fly! Whoopsie... I'm falling!!!"

"Help, super-deer, help!" Lois called, still giggling.

Clark heard her, and couldn't help smiling. He had been all wrong! He rushed to the north pole and cought Lois just in time. "You called me super-dear? So you do love me, after all?"

"Ooohh, yeeessshhh! I <hic> I love you, Schuperman. You are a <hic> deer. But where ish your <hic> red nose?"

"uh oh!" Clark thought to himself. "Lois is way past the legal limit. I hope that doesn't mean she'll forget everything in the morning and only remember at the worst possible time... That last time, after Beer Night, was brutal!"