Oh, so funny, so delightfully written, Elisabeth! Hey, you put me in the perfect modd right from the start just by writing this:
(I only include all those commas, because IRL I talk like William Shatner, and I include a comma, where I would naturally, pause, for the sake, of drama.)
How can I not be more than generously disposed to an author who introduces herself like that?
And I
love your portrait of Lois! So full of spunk and optimism, in spite of the fact that she lives in a dive! Ah, but she is going to start working at the Daily Planet and knock everybody's socks off!
And I could so, so sympathize with her frustration at trying to be on time for work after going there by bus! I remember my very first day as a teacher - I was going to commute, but then I had misread the timetable (don't ask) and I had to start my "career" by calling the principal and inform him that, regretfully, I wouldn't be on time for my first class!! (Insert sweating, blushing icon here.)
Your text is full of lovely expressions and various linguistic snippets:
At least, her eclectic furniture collection made it look like her own dive. Even if some average Jane left the unclaimed portions of the room looking pedestrian, hum-drum or hick.
<loves>
Still, she wished there was something she could do about the smell, the one with the sweatshop, gym locker, stale food kind of an aura. There wasn’t enough baking soda in the world to win that kind of a fight. And those silly sprays would just make it seem like roses in an outhouse. Still, she would hardly indulge on an air-purifier, and she would definitely not take it lying down, so she made a mental note to buy the biggest dang box of baking soda she could find.
The bus was late. Lois raged against the forces that be which conspired to make her late on her first day of work. In a time of computers and automated stoplights and traffic reports and atomic clocks, there was no excuse for being late. None! And still her watch showed that the bus was a full three minutes late and counting.
Unless, she shuddered against the thought, what if it had instead come early? What if she had missed the bus on this, her first day of work?
Rage!!!
Shudder....
It was totally not fair! She had allowed plenty of time to walk to the bus stop, had researched the lines meticulously so she would know which transfer to take, had allowed plenty of time for walking and traffic, and the incompetent, overpaid, government screw-up who drove the bus negated it all by showing up late, or early, to make her a generous three-and-a-half minutes late to her first day of work.
So Lois!!!!
Probably more if she missed her connecting bus and had to wait the twenty freaking minutes it would take for the next bus to meander along.
The bus meanders... Elisabeth, you are killing me!!!
Presuming the connecting bus was on time, give or take four minutes, she would still be prompt on this, her first day at work as a grunt on the greatest newspaper in the galaxy.
I totally love the
sound of this sentence. The allitterations, the r's, the p's, c's, t's and g's. Ahhh, the determination that practically oozes from this sentence! The smugness!
Clark had been antsy all day. He had no idea who the beautiful brunette had been, or what she had been doing in Perry’s office. There was no guarantee she would walk back into Clark’s life ever. Yet, he couldn’t help himself; he had kept his eyes open all morning long, waiting for her lovely return.
The beautiful brunette... her lovely return... Ahhh!!!
And then, it happened.
It was a music video kind of a moment. The elevator opened and she emerged. Soft focus. Slow motion. Spotlight on her. The music swelled. His heart raced. Her hair bounced as she scanned the room to the right and to the left.
He found himself standing to his feet, gaping mutely as she whisked by his desk.
Oooohhh! <smiley> <smiley> <smiley> <smiley>
I'm totally running out of time now, Elisabeth, but... please come back with more soon!!!
Ann
