It had taken every ounce of will power he possessed to leave his son's sick room. Dr. Lane had discovered the drug Ti had given him, countered it with another, scanned for broken bones-- thankfully finding none-- and installed him under the healing lamps. When he'd left, the lighter bruises had already begun to fade.
Kal reluctantly forced himself to move back to the matter at hand, and entered Council chambers ready for business. Ti was awake and standing upon the defendant's platform.
"Milord, I am informed that your son is resting comfortably," Trey began.
"Yes, Trey. When he is fully recovered, and if his mother will agree, we shall present him to the population."
"Lord Kal, must you be reminded that your son is merely a concubine's child," Jen-Mai pointed out.
"My son is the first born son of the House of El! My ancestors saw nothing wrong in bedding a woman other than their wives. I see nothing wrong with welcoming children born of such relationships. Jordan will be presented if his mother does not object."
"Speaking of wives, don't you feel Lady Zara would object to such actions?"
"Jen-Mai, Lady Zara was the one who suggested his presentation. And just so you know..." He tossed a scroll down the table. "He *is* my son."
Trey glanced up from the scroll lying before him, new respect for the young Lord of El rising within him.
"For the subject at hand," Kal went on. "Ti-El, you are being charged with crimes against the Throne, namely treason. Your service to this Throne will be revued, and you are relieved of your station. Further, by my authority, your title is stripped and your house will be passed to... Dr. Sam Lane."
Ti opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it. He glared at Kal, who stood his ground without wavering.
"Milord, do you have proof...?" Trey asked, but was cut off by Jen-Mai again.
"You cannot give the house of a nobleman to a commoner."
"I don't intend to," Kal told him even as he tapped away on the computer that had been placed before him. "For his service to the Throne, I grant Sam Lane the same rights and privileges as those of any man born to a position of honor. By saving my son's life, I grant him Royal station."
"That's not legal!"
"Yes, Jen-Mai, it is," Trey told him, doing a poor job of hiding his expression of awe. If his guess was right, Kal-El knew exactly what he was doing.
"From this day forward, by order of this Throne, Sam Lane will forever be known as Lord Sam of the House of Lane. His lineage assumes full rights of Royalty."
Slow clapping broke the silence in the room. All eyes fell on Ti, who bowed dramatically to his nephew. "Bravo, my boy. You've done in a few breaths what I was unable to do in twenty six years."
"Ti, I would advise you to remain silent," Kal told the other man.
"And miss my chance to take others with me to purgatory? I think not."
Suddenly Jen-Mai jumped to his feet and ran toward the door. His progress was halted by two guards.
Everyone else was puzzled as Kal pulled a vid-tape from his pocket. "This tape incriminates Ti, along with several other Lords and commoners for crimes that range from terrorism to murder. By week's end, you will also have heard testimony from many eyewitnesses to many of these crimes. Ti will remain in custody until a formal hearing one week from today."
Trey sat silently until Ti and Jen-Mai had been led from the room. "Lord Kal, you are First Lord. That's a position of your birth, not your choice. We all have a duty to perform and yours is leading your world. I would hope that your decisions have been made for the good of your position and not out of your affection." He knew otherwise, but felt a bit of a warning should be given. After all, the First Lord was still married to his birth wife.
"If I'd made choices out of affection, Trey, I'd have seen my son grow within his mother's body and witnessed his birth. I'd have held him just minutes after he came into this world, and I would have seen him thrive these last years. My duty, my position has cost me greatly. I was here when my daughter was born and did none of those things. My own wife denied me that because of my position. Everything I do, I do for the good of my *position*!" Kal stood as his anger bubbled to the surface. All of his frustration seemed to mount in that moment. "But I won't do it anymore. From now on, everything I do will be done for the good of my *people*, my world, not my position. Like you, I'm just a man. I can only do so much. But I am also First Lord, a *position* that allows me to change the world. I intend to do just that!"
Kal stormed from the room without dismissing Council, leaving those behind him in stunned silence.
"I believe we have just witnessed the beginning of change, gentleman," Trey told the remaining two Council members. They both agreed and settled in to watch the vid-tape Kal had left behind. If change was about to come, they would need to be ready.
++
Kal returned to find Lois sitting in the chair next to Jordan's bed, holding the boy and laughing happily. Both turned to look at him when he entered the room.
"Well, isn't this a nice surprise?" Kal approached them carefully, not wanting to frighten the child in any way. "How are you, little guy?" he asked as he kneeled before the boy.
"Happy!" The boy smiled and hugged his mother's neck.
A soft chuckle escaped Kal's lips as he watched mother and son exchange a kiss. "And his mother? How is she?"
"Coming to life," she told him with a smile.
"I wike your suit," Jordan told Kal.
The man glanced down at his chest. He'd shed his tunic before he'd entered the House of Ren and hadn't put it back on. The sleek, black suit with the El crest displayed in blue made him appear even more formidable than usual.
"You like this?" His hand smoothed the surface of the tight material that covered his body. "How would you like to have one just like it?"
"Yes! And a cape? I want a cape!" The significance of Jordan wearing clothes with the symbol of his father's house was lost to him. He simply wanted to play dress up.
Kal smiled and reached out to smooth his hand over the child's head. "I think a cape would be a fine addition." He glanced at Lois, not missing the many questions in her eyes. A promise to answer every one was flashed back before he focused on Jordan again. "Jordan, my name is Kal."
"I know. Mommy told me."
"Did she?"
"Uh huh," the child said with a vigorous nod of his head. "She say you take the bad man away."
"I did. And he will never hurt you again." Kal's smile had faded and his voice was full of resentment for Ti. "How would you like something to eat?"
"Daddy is ordering him something now," Lois told him.
"Good." His large fingers traced the insertion point of the needle in Jordan's arm. "I'm really sorry about this. But your grandfather says you'll be well soon and we can take that out."
"Otay!"
Kal rose to his feet as Jordan's meal was brought in. Lois settled the boy on the bed and helped him with his choices.
"Dr. Lane," Kal called just before Sam turned to leave again.
"Yes?"
"I wanted to tell you before anyone else did. There's a little known law that grants me the power to bestow nobility on a man should he prove himself worthy." Sam's brows furrowed in confusion. "I consider saving Jordan's life very worthy." Kal reached forward to tap Sam first on one shoulder, then the other. "By order of the Throne, you have been granted a position of noble rights. Your house is being prepared as we speak. When you take your new position, it will be as Lord Sam of the House of Lane."
Sam's eyes grew as wide as saucers as he stared at the young man before him.
"What?" Lois asked as she moved closer to Kal.
"And because your father is a Lord, you are granted title as a Lady. Milord, Milady," Kal said as he bowed to them both. "Things will get a little tricky as far as Jordan's concerned. He was born into the House of Lane, but is born *of* the House of El. Usually one is born of one and *into* the other. Don't worry. He will have full rights in both houses. And I'd like to present him to the population... when he's ready, and providing you agree, of course." He stopped when he noticed Lois was gawking at him. "Beg pardon, Milady."
"I'm not entirely sure of what you just said, but don't you ever say anything about me babbling again!"
They continued to stare at one another for a moment before Kal burst into laughter, earning him an even stranger look from Lois. Sam had started to laugh softly with the Lord, fully understanding what exactly it was the First Lord had done by granting him a position of nobility.
"I think I wike him, Mommy," Jordan told them around a mouthful of food.
"And I know I like you," Kal told him as he moved to seat himself on the bed. "How about I share your meal with you?"
"Otay," he mumbled as he shoved more food in his mouth. "Mommy... eat... too?"
"Absolutely. And your grandfather, too." Kal waved the other two adults over, then ordered them all a meal. He hated they'd have to eat their first meal together in a sick room, but at long last they were together. That's all that mattered.
++
She couldn't force herself to move from his side. Lois sat in the dark watching her son sleep. He'd been released after only a few hours in the infirmary. They had been installed in a guest suite in the main section of the Palace and just across the hall from Kal's chambers.
There were so many questions about everything that had happened. Kal had told her he would tell her everything, but she couldn't bring herself to leave Jordan.
"Lois?"
She turned to see Kal standing just inside the entry to the small parlor of the suite. Reluctantly she rose and moved to stand in front of him. "I just can't leave him," she whispered.
"I understand." He smiled down at her. His eyes drifted to the form of his son lying on the bed. "I feel the same way."
"Thank you," Lois told him as she lifted her hands to his chest. "for bringing our son home."
His smiled faded as his hands covered hers on his chest. "Is that where he is? Home?"
She let her gaze fall to their hands, her expression becoming resigned. "Kal..."
He squeezed her hands and gently pulled her into the other room, closing the door to the bedroom. "Did you believe me that day in my study? When I told you I'd give you the world?" he asked as he settled them on the lounge.
"I know you want to, but..."
"Lois, today you became my equal in the eyes of the law. That's a situation we never thought would come to pass. It might take a little time, and a whole lot of patience, but you will get your world," he told her with determination.
She could get lost in those eyes, she thought as she looked at Kal. There was no doubt that he wanted what he said to one day be true. Her eyes fell to the hands wrapped around hers and she couldn't help but admit it felt right. "Tell me about Ti," she said to steer the conversation back to safer territory.
"Today, Chan informed me of a man that wished to speak with me in El." He let his thumbs smooth over her hands for several seconds before he managed to finish what he wanted to say. "That man was Ching."
"Ching? As in... your brother?" she asked him with wide eyes.
"Yes."
"Oh, Kal," she gasped when he looked up at her. Tears had filled his eyes and she could see the total joy behind them.
"In one day I've gotten my son and my brother back. And I've managed to make you smile," he whispered as they held one another's gaze.
"Tell me," she croaked through her emotions and shifted just a tad closer to him.
She listened in rapt attention as Kal told her everything Ching had related to him. His tour of America, his accident, meeting the Kents, the information he'd received about corruption inside the government, the many things Ching thought Ti guilty of, and even his brother's remorse for causing so much pain. The younger Lord would not emerge from the land of the dead until the trial of his uncle in a week. Until then, more evidence and more witnesses would be sought out. Only now, Ching would have help in the form of his brother and First Lord.
They took turns getting up to check on Jordan while Kal continued to talk. He'd been transported to another world through his brother's eyes earlier that afternoon. The younger man spoke of the chaotic bustle on the sister planet and explained how he felt as he watched people interact with one another day after day. He spoke of his sorrow that his family had suffered, but determination surged when he insisted that they would suffer no more.
When Kal grew silent, Lois noticed most of the night had passed them by. They shared coffee, compliments of her father, before saying goodnight. A strong friendship was being forged inside the House of El.
++
"Kal! Kal! Where are you?" Jordan walked along the corridor calling at the top of his lungs. Most of the house was still in bed, dawn just beginning to break. "Kal! Come out!"
"What is going on here?" came the voice of servant who'd been awakened by the child's shouts.
"I'm wooking for Kal. Which woom is his?" the boy asked seriously.
"You shouldn't be out of bed, young man. Now come..." The servant reached down to guide him back toward his chamber.
They had almost made it when Kal's door swooshed open. "Hey, buddy. What's wrong?" Kal asked as he stepped into the corridor. He wore only his shorts and his hair was mussed, clearly indicating he'd been awakened. And seeing Jordan up and about was more than anyone could have asked.
For two days Jordan hadn't left his and Lois' suite unless he was in his mother's arms, refusing to let Lois from his sight. He'd talked with Kal, ate with him, and had even played with Patia when Kal brought her to meet him. Yet, he'd been severely withdrawn. There were bouts of crying for no apparent reason, nightmares that ripped him from his sleep, and even outright defiance. Kal had felt honored the evening before when Jordan had shared a story with him alone as they sat on the balcony. To see the child in the corridor alone made his heart swell.
"I was trying to find you," the boy said with a shrug. "You take me to see the watah."
Kal kneeled before Jordan and smiled fondly. "Yes. I said that. And I will. But first I have to go to work. I'll have Zin play with you until then. How's that?"
"You pomised," the child whined.
"And I meant it, Jordan. I have a meeting, just for a bit, then we'll go to the water." Kal reached out to lift the child and stood. "Call Zin," he ordered the servant. She bowed and went to the communicator.
"I won't go!" Jordan declared and immediately started kicking to get down again.
"Jordan, don't. You'll hurt yourself," Kal told him as he held on to keep the boy from falling.
"I want to see the watah!"
"We will."
"Now!" He squirmed even more, finally forcing Kal to stand him on his feet again.
"Listen to me!" His stern voice stopped the boy's tantrum at once, only to be replaced with huge tears. "Don't. Son, please don't cry." Kal pulled him to his chest and was overwhelmed with a white flash of heat. He'd no doubt scared him senseless by raising his voice. The child had suffered enough. There would be time for reprimanding him once he was well again. Right now the little guy needed reassurance.
When the child calmed and wrapped his small arms around his neck, Kal's emotions soared. He felt as if he'd come home, again.
Without another thought, he lifted the child as he stood. "Send his clothes into my chambers. I'll get him ready for the day," he told the servant, then disappeared behind his door.
His heart had nearly burst from his chest when he saw his son's tears, just as it did every time he saw Lois' tears. There was no way he could endure that. And if need be, Council would be rescheduled.
++
Just as she'd done once before, Lois stormed into Council chambers in full rant mode. She was given a mere glance by those present before they resumed their perusal of the material before them.
She marched up to Kal prepared to do battle. "Where is he?"
"Please calm down, Milady," Kal told her as he rose to his feet. "He's fine."
Lois stared at Kal for several moments, trying to decide if he was friend or foe today. When she'd awaken to find Jordan gone, her thoughts had run away with her. “Just give him back!” she shouted at him as tears filled her eyes.
Kal's expression changed and he reached out to grasp her arms. "Please forgive me. I wasn't thinking how you'd see this. He came looking for me this morning, and refused to go back to bed. You were still sleeping, so I took him into my chamber to dress him and have his breakfast. We ventured into the garden to play a bit before this morning's business. I sent a servant to inform you as soon as you woke."
Lois had the grace to look ashamed. There had been a servant trying desperately to speak with her before she'd left her chamber, but she'd been so angry, she hadn't heard a word the poor woman said. "Oh," was all she could offer Kal. She felt absolutely horrible.
"Look." Kal guided her to stand in front of his communicator, called up a program, and pointed Jordan out on the screen. "See. He's just fine." He looked up at Lois as she sank to a chair, relief washing through her. Kal sat again and leaned close to speak with her as privately as he could. "I did not mean to upset you. Jordan is safe here, and I would never take him from you."
"I know that. It's just... he was gone and I got scared and with everything that's happened..."
"I wasn't thinking. I was just so thrilled to see him up and about."
She glanced over at the monitor as the image of her son running around the garden with Patia was beamed back to her. It *was* good to see him up.
"Kal-El, must I remind you of our business?" Trey spoke up.
"No. We were about to begin."
"Of course." She got up without looking at Kal. She felt absolutely awful that she'd let her thoughts get the best of her. She knew this man. She knew he'd never take her son from her. *He* was the one who'd brought him back! "Have a good session," she said with a bow and turned to leave.
"Lady Lois?"
She stopped when Lord Trey addressed her formerly, a title she still wasn't sure how she'd gotten. Kal had explained the reasoning behind. Yet, it was still difficult to fathom.
"Lord Trey." She bowed to him and noticed out of the corner of her eye that the other two members of Council had risen to their feet.
"I have not taken the time to welcome you to the House of El. I should have done so when you first came. Forgive me, Milady. My actions are unforgivable."
"No apologies are necessary, Milord. And thank you."
"Might I also say that I feel your father will make a fine Lord. I am sure that Ren will be transformed under his guidance. And he has informed me that he expects the current Lady of Lane to work at his side to help his province prosper."
Wow! Her father told her that he and Lord Trey had spent time together, but the way Trey spoke, one might believe them to be friends.
"Thank you, Milord. I'm sure we have no idea what to do with an entire province, but I'm sure you will be there to guide my father should he run into trouble."
"Yes, Milady. Lord Sam will thrive in his new position." He bowed to Lois and even smiled.
Lois returned the gestures before leaving the room. Around every turn this world offered up another surprise. Maybe, in time, she might even become fond of life here.
++
Kal waited patiently as Dr. Lane eased back in his chair. The physician had summoned him earlier when a few results of some tests he'd run on Patia had come back. The First Lord had asked if Lady Zara should be present, but Sam had said he wished to speak with Kal privately before speaking with them together.
"I have found what I believe to be the reason Patia is unable to speak," the doctor finally said.
"Is it something that can be altered?"
"Yes. Surgery will correct the problem."
"Why haven't Kryptonian physicians been able to discover this?"
"I'm not sure." He leaned forward to rest his arms on his desk. "But Kal, that's not why I wished to speak with you. I've found another.. situation that has to be addressed."
"I don't understand." Kal shifted in his chair, his brows furrowed in confusion.
"I consider us friends. The fact that you allow me to call you by your first name proves that. So, I'll just come out and say this. Kal, your blood does not match that of Patia."
The Lord's expression grew more confused. What did he mean by that?
"Patia is not your daughter."
That statement bounced around inside his head for a full minute before Kal actually heard it. "You must be mistaken."
"I wish I were. I've run the tests countless times with the same result. Though your type is a match, the DNA strand is very different. There's no way she could be your child."
Black spots filled Kal's vision as the most unbearable pain filled his heart. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees as he struggled to breathe. His daughter, his little girl was not his. How could that be?
This hurt. This hurt as badly as being without Jordan had.
"I'm so sorry, Kal. I wish I was wrong. I just felt you should know."
Kal looked up at Sam, begging him silently to stop this. When the doctor pushed the file across to him, he felt as if the wind had been knocked from his body. His eyes fell to the file on the desk as his mind leapt in denial. This just couldn't be true.
Suddenly anger roared through him. He shot to his feet and hurried from the room. Behind him, Sam sighed heavily.
The fury guided his steps down the corridor toward the First Lady's chamber. When he was denied access, he used his password to override the system. Her suite was dimly lit when he entered. Soft laughter could be heard coming from the other room, so he continued inside.
He'd faced opponents on the sparring field with no emotion whatsoever. He'd challenged Council without so much as a second thought. And he'd made the decision to some day welcome Lois Lane into the House of El as his wife. All of that was merely a challenge, another obstacle he would overcome. But what greeted him inside his wife's chamber was something he'd never been prepared for.
"Kal!"
"At least I know why you suddenly emerged from your depression," Kal managed after several moments. He could only stare at the woman in the bed before him.
The woman and her lover.
"Kal, I'd planned to tell you everything," the man said as he struggled to his feet, pulling a robe on.
"You should know that Dr. Lane informed me tonight that Patia is not my daughter," Kal said with no emotion. "Congratulations, Ching. You have a beautiful daughter." He turned and left the stunned couple staring in disbelief.
"Kal!" The First Lord was stopped when his brother reached out to grasp his arm. "Listen to me."
"Now is not a good time, Ching."
"You know what this feels like, Kal. You know what losing your heart to that one special woman does to you." That earned him a stern glare, but he continued. "I love her. I've tried to stop it, and I know what we've done is illegal. But you can't turn those feelings off."
"He's right, Kal," Zara said softly from where she now stood just inside the room. "You know how we feel every time you look at Lois."
Kal ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Dammit, Patia is not my child. Do you have any idea what that feels like?"
Neither Ching nor Zara could answer that one.
"Ching, your wife grieved your death and is preparing to marry again."
"Come on, Kal. We both have a birth wife, so don't hand me that crap."
Kal blinked at Ching's choice of words. "What do I do here? Pretend this is okay? Pretend I'm not reeling in pain? I've taken care of that little girl, watched her grow. I've lived with the guilt of what I thought was her conception," he finished softly. He stared between his wife and his brother. "I do know what it feels like... to lose your heart," he admitted reluctantly. "But by losing your control, you both have signed your death warrants. Even I can't stop that," he told them painfully before he turned and hurried from the room.
He made his way along the corridor, unable to breathe through his pain and confusion. The pain of knowing Patia was not his far outweighed anything else he felt. The anger that had boiled within him because Zara had slept with another man had even cooled to resigned understanding. Through his haze he finally understood what it must be like for a wife to share a husband with his concubine.
And he did understand what Ching and Zara spoke of. How could he not? His, Zara's, Ching's... theirs was a life of forced duty. Kryptonians were expected to accept their fates, never protesting, never speaking out for what they might want. In reality, they were not allowed to have beliefs or feelings. From the day of their birth, their fates were set. By creating a life of privilege, generation after generation had doomed their children to merely existing. Not one had ever truly lived.
The First Lord found himself in the library perusing the general archives, becoming more familiar with life on Earth. A totally different world, closely mirroring so much of this one. Both housed a race of human beings. Both fought desperately for what they believed in. But one was alive, thriving with feeling, emotion, joy. People drifted through their days, working because they had to provide for themselves and their families, not because it was the duty of their station in life. They played, for the simple enjoyment of it. And they loved passionately. No one dictated that it should be done. It was simply an inherent trait, part of their nature.
Was that why his brother had been unable to refrain from a relationship with Zara? Was his love for her part of his nature? Was love part of Kryptonian nature?
That simple emotion could move mountains, change destinies. It had already done that once inside the House of El. Passion could make a man strive to be more than his position required him to be. Desire drove men to do unspeakable things. Pain, calm, joy, even sadness were all components of that emotion. Suddenly it didn't seem quite as simple anymore.
No, not simple at all. Love, he now realized, was a complex emotion that could literally take over one's very being. It could shape worlds or tear them down. It could lead one man to the bed of a woman, knowing that by going, death might be his price. And it could set the course for another to change his entire way of life.
Kal ended up at Patia's bedside, watching her sleep. So peaceful, so innocent, she was unaware of the discontent around her. So much had changed for Kal because of this little girl. He remembered the night he learned of her conception, how he'd dreaded her birth. At the time, his anger and arrogance had not let him think of anyone but himself. He had been pleased he would not have to procreate with his wife again. Never once had he thought of this child's mother, how she felt. As the months passed, thoughts drifted to the dread he felt because this child would be born a girl. Again, thoughts of only himself. But the day she was born, the day he held her for the first time, things changed. She forced him to think of others, though not without struggle. Her very name was a culmination of his selfishness.
So much had changed since then. The female population found worth in his eyes because of this child. He learned that guilt could eat at your mind like a plague. This child forced him to form a relationship with his wife, and he discovered that he liked Zara. Because of this tiny little girl, Kal had learned joy.
He kneeled so that he could reach out and touch her face. A smile from that face had the power to move a Lord. Many times he'd longed to see this face. Some of the best days of his life had been spent with this child, watching her discover the world. Whatever price he might pay in the days to come was worth it just to know this person.
"How do we tell you this?" he whispered. He had witnessed a child bounce back from a horrendous experience in the last few days, so he knew that youth would ensure that Patia would be all right. She might not understand, but in time she would thrive and smile again.
Would he?
"I've gained a child only to lose another. How do I survive that? I know ours has been a strained relationship, and often I haven't understood why. This is very new to me. I am responsible for two worlds, billions of people. Yet, I don't even know how to take care of myself. It's no wonder I never knew how to take care of you."
Kal wiped away a tear that spilled from his eyes, then leaned forward to place a kiss on Patia's cheek. "I love you, Milady. Nothing will ever change that."
He stood and gently laid down on the bed beside her. He'd finally become her daddy on the very night he'd learned he was not even her father.
++
It was a very different man that emerged from Patia's room the following morning. He stopped in the corridor, facing Zara.
"I was on my way in to get Patia dressed," she told him.
"She is, and she has eaten." Kal's voice was calm, resigned, but soft and gentle.
"I had no idea, Milord."
"I know, Milady." And he realized he meant it. "I cannot just stop how I feel about her now."
"I don't expect you to."
Kal sighed, ran a hand through his hair, then forced himself to look at Zara. "I was angry last evening. I wanted nothing more than to demand you tell me who your lover was."
"It was not planned. It was something that just happened."
"The more that I live, the more that I am convinced nothing of our life just happens. It should. We're born into a life of privilege only to have our every move dictated by forced customs and traditions. How strange and wonderful could this world be if we just let our lives 'happen'?" He glanced around for a moment, then focused on Zara again. "Ti-El's trial starts in two days. Much of my time will be taken up with that, as will Ching's. I think maybe the two of you should spend the time until then with your daughter." He bowed briefly before stepping around her.
"Milord," she called and reached for his arm. "What will happen?"
Kal looked down at the hand holding him in place. With a sad smile, he covered her hand with his. "I wish I could answer, Milady. So many things have happened... and will happen in the time to come."
She squeezed his arm before withdrawing and entering Patia's room.
With a sigh of defeat, Kal continued down the corridor.
++
There was something wrong with Kal, Lois thought as she exited Jordan's room and pulled the door closed. She'd seen him several times throughout the day and he was definitely not himself. She'd asked him about it, receiving a standard reply... "I have a lot on my mind." She hadn't prodded, but she could tell that whatever was on his mind was weighing heavily.
Just as she straightened from picking up a toy, a gentle tap sounded at her door. She was surprised to find Kal on the other side.
"Hi."
"Hi," she replied. He looked even more lost than he had earlier. And his appearance left little doubt that he felt horrible. He'd shed his suit in favor of the loose sleep pants she knew the men to wear sometimes and a tight fitting white muscle shirt like the ones worn during exercise. His feet were bare, his hair unruly, and though he'd emerged from a shower, he hadn't shaved.
Lois felt a stab of pain surge through her. The bright light in his eyes had dulled and his depths were filled with pain. What could have possibly put it there?
She stepped to the side, silently inviting him in before he even asked.
Kal entered, slowly making his way around the room instead of sitting down.
She simply went to the lounge, settled on the edge and waited patiently for him to speak.
"Zara is having an affair with Ching," he managed after a bit. He stopped in front of the bookcase and began to inspect the books, lifting some from their places to flip through the pages.
"It's been going on for years," he continued, his voice void of emotion. "I found out when I went to question Zara about Patia's blood tests."
"Blood tests? Has Daddy found something?"
"Oh yeah," he said with a humorless chuckle. He shoved the book he held back onto the shelf. "Seems they've shared more than their bodies," he clipped out.
Lois wasn't sure she understood what he meant at first. Her eyes widened when the implication of what he'd said hit.
Kal whirled around to face her. "He was in her bed when I entered. And as surprised as I was, as angry as I was, I could barely breathe past the pain of knowing that Patia is not my daughter."
"Oh, Kal," she breathed as she lifted her hand to cover her mouth.
"I just stood there, frozen in place. I'd gone in search of an answer, fully prepared to demand Zara tell me." He stopped and glanced helplessly at the ceiling. "God, Lois, I was actually relieved when I saw him." He threw up his hands and paced over to the balcony door. "He stammered on about how much he loved her and how I knew what that felt like. All I could think about was the fact that he was responsible for stripping away part of my very soul."
Lois watched as he struggled with his emotions. She wanted to go to him, comfort him. She also knew that he needed to get some of his pain and anger out or it would eat him up.
"For a moment I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to just let out all of this anger and frustration," he spat as he turned to pace again. "Instead I went to the library and looked at vid-tapes of life on Earth." He stopped at Jordan's door, just staring at it. "I spent the night with Patia. I don't care who her father is, I'm her daddy," he told Lois as he turned to face her again.
To hear him say something so... 'Earthling' sounded out of place on this world. And it sounded exactly like something Kal would say.
"Of course you're her daddy. You've taken care of her."
"I wish that was true," he said as he pulled out a chair at the table in the corner. He dropped heavily, then leaned forward to place his elbows on his knees. "I've spent most of her life taking care of a world I think I've come to despise. I've gone to her, spent time with her while all I could think about was how detached our relationship felt. I've looked at her, enjoying her smile when I loathed her mother." He was on his feet again, unable to sit still. "If I'd learned this around the time of her conception or even just after her birth, I would have been thrilled. Her birth means her mother has committed treason, and I would have found myself a free man."
"Free to do what? Live with the knowledge that a little girl's parents had to die because their only crime was loving one another?"
"Exactly!" he shouted, taking her by surprise. "Patia would have been in my care anyway because she's my brother's child, I'd have been without a wife or a brother, and this day would be just as painful." He paced back and forth, his anger slowly building. "It's not her fault, yet she will pay as heavily as anyone. And it hurts worse knowing I can't stop that. And my brother..." He waved his arms in the air. "Part of me wants to tear him apart. Another part knows how feels. He's created life with the woman he loves. That's more satisfying than holding two worlds in the palm of your hands."
Did he know what he'd said? Lois straightened a bit, her heart thumping in her chest wildly. They'd spoke of their feelings, and she knew his for her ran deep, but to hear him say it was entirely different.
He finally dropped to the lounge beside Lois, staring across the room in silence. When she looked at him, huge tears rolled down his cheeks.
"I love her, Lois. How do I give her up?" he whispered.
"Oh, Kal." She reached out to pull him to her and held his head against her chest while he released his pain. She doubted he'd ever cried in his life, not like this. Her grip tightened, her palm spreading out on the side of his face.
"This hurts... soo much," he sobbed.
"I know, I know." But she wasn't sure she could ever truly know. She'd lost her son, but she'd also gotten him back. Kal would never really get Patia back.
He pushed his arm around her body, pulling her closer, while his other hand gripped the arm that held him to her body. He turned his face into her a bit more, unable to stop the wracking sobs that tore through him.
And the woman who held him simply held tighter. Both shook from the force of his powerful body, but she remained. His pain was seeping into her and she cried silently with him. To live his life... the pressure had finally built to overwhelming and had to be released. She willed him to cry, not only for Patia, but for his parents, for his childhood, even for his wife. He needed to cry for his brother, for her and Jordan, and yes, for his uncle. Most of all, he needed to do this for himself. Lois was sure that once Kal learned to handle his feelings, he would become a remarkable man.
When he finally calmed, she wiped the wetness from his face, smoothing her thumb beneath his eye. He was looking at her, but didn't really see her. She saw him though. She saw the raw suffering in the deep pools of his dark eyes. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips, an effort to take away some his anguish.
His eyes cleared and he focused on her. "I'm glad I have you," he told her, his voice a hoarse whisper.
In that moment she never wanted anything more than for that statement to be true. She wanted to give herself to this man completely. She knew the depths of his soul, knew the incredible person there, how great he could be if that man was unleashed. And she could turn the key to unlock the vault in which he was locked.
Lois pressed her lips against his again. This time he yielded slightly, giving in a bit to the touch. She held his head as she stared into his eyes. Ching and Zara had acted on the desires of their heart, fully aware of the consequences. What if they believed that's all they'd ever have? That one moment in time when they shared their souls. What if that was all she and Kal ever had? Could she live knowing they'd let it slip by? Did the fulfillment outweigh the price they'd pay for a stolen moment of passion?
As she looked into his eyes she realized that being with this man, sharing themselves with one another had never been about pleasure or satisfaction. It was about completion.
This man completed her. Why would she want to live her life without knowing completion again?
A multitude of realizations passed as they continued to gaze at one another. And when they met in another kiss, they knew exactly what they were doing. Lois sighed deeply and gave herself over to Kal.
++
Not a word had been said, but he understood her completely. He'd read the complexities of her thoughts as she'd stared down at him. Question upon question bounced unanswered even as one resounding fact slammed home with crystal clarity.
This was where she wanted to be. With him is where her heart now lay. And he would protect it with his own.
Soft, gentle kisses punctuated the air. Slow, steady hands moved over smooth skin as they eased into that final abyss. He'd dreamt of this moment many, many times, but nothing could compare to reality. He forced himself to slow down, guiding her to lie on the lounge. His large hand cupped her face as he delved into her mouth with his tongue, exploring, reveling in her taste, her feel.
She worked to push his shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor. Kal leaned up on his elbow and watched as she lost herself in the feel of his chest against her palm.
"That feels good," he told her softly.
Lois met his gaze, intense passion clouding her vision. "*You* feel good," she clarified.
He moved her hair back off of her face with his fingers. "I won't go back. Not this time."
"It's too late," she told him. She lifted her hand and cupped his face. "You are so beautiful," she whispered.
How had his race ever lived without love? Kal leaned forward to kiss Lois. His tongue smoothed across her lips, danced with hers, sought out secret crevices. The embers were fanned and slowly came to life. Clothes were shed as the desire mounted. When they lay, completely naked, Kal stopped to stare at her.
Poised at the threshold of ecstacy, he silently gave over his life to her. He pressed his lips to hers as their bodies that allusive satisfaction of knowing you'd come home.
And it came quickly. Years of denial worked against them and Kal eased up enough to look at her. "I've come home," he told her softly.
"Was it worth the journey?" she asked, smoothing her hand down over his back.
"Every second." Tears filled his eyes as he leaned to place a tender kiss on her lips. He pulled back and stood to lift her in his arms. She didn't protest when Kal placed her on her bed, reaching for him as he followed her down. "Show me, Lois. Show me what it feels like to love."
She lost herself in his kiss as he wrapped his arms around her body. They melded into the mattress as they lost themselves to the other. Hands roamed over smooth skin in search of hidden pleasure. Labored breathing, soft moans, sudden gasps, and the sound of two souls becoming one filled the dark room.
Their first awkward, hurried fumbling of so long ago was deliberately and passionately replaced with steady, assured movements. This time, instead of hurrying to relieve their unrequited desire, they slowly learned one another's bodies. Kal allowed Lois to guide him through the finer points of making love, taking him across planes he never knew existed. Behind the doors of her suite, he learned to respect his body while worshipping hers. And he reveled in every moment.
Everything was fresh and exciting. Every touch, every taste, every sensation was a wonderful new experience to a man who had never known the true pleasures of sharing himself so completely with another. Tomorrow they would have to emerge from their haven, but tonight was theirs. And they would spend it wrapped in a cocoon of discovery.
+++
Lois was tucked close to Kal's body where he leaned against the head of her bed. His strong arms held her safe from the world. Gentle fingers lightly stroked the hair at her temple as she listened to the steady beat of his heart. Her cheek was pressed to his solid chest and she smoothed her fingers over his skin. They'd been that way since they had awaken and made love, again.
It had taken them years to finally consummate their relationship the way they'd always longed to do, and neither had wasted a moment. She'd taught him the finer points of feminine pleasure while he'd eagerly moved from one demonstration to another. Later, he'd become bolder, gently guiding her to please him in ways he'd only dreamed a woman could do. And she'd just as enthusiastically submitted.
They'd talked softly, afraid their tones might disturb the peace they'd found in each other's arms. Kal had been awake, staring at her when she opened her eyes earlier. In the soft light of the dawning day, he'd told her that he loved her. She'd simply lain there, allowing that declaration to wash over her, consume her.
She also realized that she loved him. Looming above him after pushing him to his back, she'd held his gaze and cupped his face tenderly as she whispered that she loved him. For the second time, the First Lord of Krypton cried softly and allowed her to hold him.
Later, as they'd surfaced on the other side of their euphoria, he'd vowed to walk beside her for the rest of their days. And she, the feisty, determined, out-spoken woman from Earth, had vowed her life to him.
"I can't help but wonder if I'd been more civil to Zara, we might have become better friends. Maybe if we'd been better friends, I'd have known the depth of her true feelings."
Lois lifted her head to look into his eyes.
"I never once stopped to think of her or what she must be feeling. Once Patia was born I began to feel the guilt of how I treated her in the bed chamber. I knew she disliked me as much as I disliked her and yet, I never cared."
"It's all you've ever known."
"My way of life should have never kept me from being human. And that's exactly what I've allowed it to do. Lois, I've looked at the man I've become, and I don't like him."
"And I've seen the man you really are. I love him." She pressed a kiss to his lips, then drew back to offer him a smile.
"I want to be that man. I want to be... honest, unselfish, fair. I want to be respected for those reasons, not because I'm the First Lord. When people see me, I want them to smile instead of falling to their knees to bow. And I want to smile... and laugh... and do all the things I was never allowed to do because I was too busy being educated to be the leader of my world."
"And do you still want to be leader of your world?"
"I'd thought maybe I didn't. Maybe it would be easier to just be a common man with an ordinary life. A job that was finished when I laid down at night." He held her closely as he continued. "But it's impossible to change the past, and I could never be just a common man. I like being First Lord. I have a beautiful house, wealth, and privilege. I also have something that another man might not."
"What's that?"
"The conviction to make change. The desire to see this world evolve and grow."
Lois smiled brightly at him. "Has anyone ever told you that you're pretty smart, too?"
He grinned and kissed her briefly. "You're welcome to do that any time you want to."
With that, her smile faded and she pulled away from him.
"Lois?" He sat up as she slowly eased from the bed.
"Will that time run out soon?" she asked as she pulled on her robe.
"What?"
She faced him, her arms crossed over her waist. "Kal, was last night and others like it all we'll ever have?"
He threw his legs over the side of the bed, careful to keep himself covered so she wouldn't feel the least bit uncomfortable. "Why don't you tell me what you want?"
"What I want? I want you. Don't you know that by now?" She held her hands up, a gesture to match her question.
"And I want you. Completely."
"How? How is that possible? You're still First Lord and we're still on Krypton." She almost felt like adding, 'dah', but decided that kind of humor out of place. Kal couldn't be so dense.
"And you are Lady Lois, my equal," he told her softly. "When I dissolve my marriage, I'd like to ask you to marry me."
"Dissolve your marriage?" she asked after a beat.
"Yes. Who am I to keep Zara from marrying the man she desires?"
"But what about Patia? And the issue of treason?"
"What about it? You said yourself they did nothing wrong."
"Council won't see it that way. The law doesn't see it that way!"
"It's time I fill the shoes I wear. Council has to listen to me because I'm First Lord. And if nothing else, we will debate the issue until one of us cracks. I have no intention of it being me."
Lois calmed and sat down beside him. "You're not gonna let them charge Zara or Ching, are you?"
"Patia needs her parents. *Both* her parents. And that's what I'll use to save their lives. I'll assert my authority as leader to keep any charges from being brought against them. Maybe I'll order counseling." He grinned wryly. "It took me far too long to realize I love my brother. I thought I'd lost him once. I won't do it again."
"And Zara?"
"Zara and I should have never been married. We've only ever been acquaintances. Ching knows her, and he loves her. If it's anything like how I feel for you, there's no way I'll keep them apart. And I'm sure Lana won't protest. She's chosen another and wishes to wed."
"Just like that? You snap your fingers and bam! Everything's okay?"
"You sound as if you'd prefer the alternative. Would you rather live across the corridor from me knowing we can't touch? Never speak of our feelings? Would you like to watch as I sign a contract that would bind your son to a life that might make him as miserable as we've been?" He shifted toward her, a little fire dancing behind his eyes. "Hell, we'll set a new tradition. I'll let you watch as I conceive the heir with my wife!" he spat at her.
Rage shot through Lois. She drew back and slapped Kal as hard as she could before she rose and closed herself off inside the bath chamber.
Kal wrapped the covering around his body and went to the door. "Lois! I'm sorry. I only said that to make a point. I would never, ever consider looking at another, let alone touch her. Not after last night."
"Kal?"
His head jerked around when Jordan's voice called to him. "Hi, pal," he said softly, careful to hold the covering around his body as he kneeled before the boy.
"Where's Mommy?"
"She's here, honey," Lois told him as she opened the door. Hearing his voice had pulled him from her anger.
"Are you otay?" He glanced from Kal to Lois.
"I'm fine. Kal and I were just having an argument."
The boy's eyes settled on Kal and he studied the man for several minutes before he reached out to Lois. She immediately took him in her arms and cast Kal a glare that said they'd finish their discussion later.
He sighed and stood up with them. "Why don't I order breakfast?"
"That would be nice. I'll get him dressed." She cradled the boy's head against her shoulder as she left the room.
Kal took a deep breath and went in search of his clothes.
