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The Cat and the Trap
By Tank

Catherine 'Cat' Grant walked toward the desks of the Daily Planet's two premiere reporters. It seemed that, once again, Lois Lane was commiserating with her hunk of a partner. Most likely about Superman. It really rankled that Lois seemed to get most of the best exclusive Superman stories. Every other reporter in town would give practically anything to have the access to the Man of Steel that Lois seemed to have, including Cat, herself. But was that good enough for the intrepid Ms. Lane? No, she had to personalize everything when it came to Superman. She acted like he was her private domain; only willing to 'grudgingly' share him with her partner, Clark Kent, on rare occasions. Unfortunately, Lois had a problem with her objectivity. She thought that she was in love with the hero, and despaired over the fact that he didn't seem to return her affections.

As Cat got closer she could hear that it was indeed that small problem that had Lois all wound up. The funny thing was; Lois could have it all if she really wanted it. If she wasn't so blinded by her infatuation with the super hero she'd realize what was right under her nose. Clark may not have the powers of the spandex-clad idol of millions, but he was every bit as good-looking, and he was a really nice guy. Her own efforts at the seduction of the farm boy from Kansas hadn't gone too well, but she soon realized that it had been a hopeless attempt right from the start. It was obvious to everyone in the newsroom that Clark Kent was head over heels for his partner. Obvious to everyone except Lois that is, she only had eyes for one man.

Cat sidled a little closer to the pair; until she could overhear their conversation. She'd been right. Lois was obsessing about Superman again.

"Oh, Clark, he didn't even notice me." Her voice had a plaintive quality to it.

"Now, Lois, I'm sure he just didn't see you." Clark laid his hand over Lois'.

"I called out to him, but he ignored me."

Cat had heard enough. She couldn't take it anymore. "You only called out to him, Lois? I thought that throwing yourself off of tall buildings, or trying to get blown up, were more your usual style."

Lois glanced up at Cat but feigned indifference. "Oh, Cat, you're here? Is it noon already?"

"Next time, Lois, try for something a bit more subtle; like hanging from a flagpole in your bra and panties. That might get Superman to notice you."

Lois rolled her eyes. "I wouldn’t' dream of stealing your techniques, Cat."

Cat's bark of laughter had a bit of an edge to it. "Like you wouldn't consider it if you thought it would work. Admit it, Lois; you'd do just about anything to get Superman's attention and approval."

"Hah!"

Cat raised a brow. "Are you saying that if Superman were to mention that he preferred a Chevy Blazer to the Jeep that you wouldn't be down to your local dealership tomorrow looking at a trade-in?"

Lois stood and glared at Cat. "Don't be ridiculous. Superman doesn't even need a car." Lois flounced off in a huff.

Cat slid quickly into the seat Lois had just vacated. She rested her hand over Clark's. "How do you put up with her?"

A wistful smile came to Clark's face. "Oh, she just gets a little worked-up when it comes to Superman."

She smirked. "Yeah, right." Suddenly Cat was struck by a brainstorm. The idea was brilliant, devious, and even a tad cruel. It was perfect. But she'd need some help. "Clark?" Her voice took on a pleading tone. "Could I ask a favor from you?"

She almost laughed at the wary look in his eyes. "I suppose," he answered with only slightest of hesitation.

"You and Lois get all the great exclusives from Superman after all his rescues and such. And I know that you can sometimes get in touch with him." She took a breath. Here it goes. Her plan would hinge on Clark's help. "The next time you see him; could you ask Superman to stop by my place for a quick, harmless, interview?"

Clark shook his head. "I don't know."

She slapped his hand. "Come on, be fair. You and Lois shouldn't be the only ones to gain access to him. I may write the gossip column, but I am a good writer, and I'd like the chance to be able to show everyone that." She couldn't help the somewhat predatory smile that crossed her lips. "Besides, I'm sure I could think up some questions that Superman's never been asked before."

"I think that's what he'd be afraid of."

This time it was Cat who rolled her eyes. "I promise I won't attack the man." She pushed out her lower lip in a little girl-like pout. "Please?" She could tell he was weakening. "For me?"

A sigh of resignation escaped from him as Clark ran his hand through his hair. "Okay. No promises, but I'll see what I can do."

Cat gave him a big smile. "Thanks."

Clark stood, and glanced about the room. "I suppose I better find out where Lois went."

Cat's smile morphed from friendly to slightly evil, as she watched Clark wander off in search of his wayward partner. Things were looking up.

She moved back toward her desk. If Clark came through for her, and Superman did come for that interview, she'd best be prepared. With a little luck she'd soon have the last laugh on Ms. High and Mighty.

****************

Cat paced nervously about her apartment. Clark had told her earlier that Superman had agreed to talk to her and would be over at about 8 o'clock. She had planned her approach meticulously. The apartment was clean, but not so neat as to look artificial. She was dressed casually but not as 'down home' as she had been when Clark had come over. She wanted to make Superman comfortable, yet not come off as sloppy, or as trying to seduce him. Not that she wouldn't welcome the Man of Steel to her bedroom, but she was pretty sure that bold advances weren't the way to win over the hero. Besides, this interview had a different purpose. This interview would provide her with the ammunition she needed to finally take Lois down a peg or two.

It took several raps on her window before she recognized it for what it was. She rushed over and opened it. Superman floated into the room. She knew from his smile that she had a goofy look of awe on her face. She had to get a grip.

"Superman, I'm so glad you could come. Please come, sit."

He walked over to the sofa she'd indicated. "Thank you, Ms. Grant."

She inexplicably found herself blushing. "Please, call me Ca-, Catherine."

"Very well... Catherine." He sat. "So, Clark told me that you wished an interview?"

"That's right."

"I have to admit that I'm at a loss here. I don't know what you could possibly ask me that isn't already part of the public record. I haven't been involved in any major rescues, or taken down any significant criminal activity lately."

"Oh, I'm not interested in all that kind of stuff. I leave that to Lois and Clark. No, my readers are mostly women, and they would like to know other 'things' about their resident hero."

Superman frowned. "I know what kind of column you write, Ms. Gra... Catherine. I don't think I'd be able to provide you with the kind of fodder that your readers have come to expect."

Cat felt a stirring of anger rise in her. Typical reaction from a man. Even if he was Superman, he was still a man. "Look I know that you think that I write trite, empty words that are only intended to titillate and expose scandalous behavior. I don't write hard news like your buddy Clark, or Lois. But you should know that my column is the second most read column in the entire paper."

He looked like he was about to apologize, but she waved him off before he could speak. "Don't give it a second thought." She slid a little closer to him. "Please, don't think that I'm looking for some juicy piece of gossip that I can fill several column inches with. I don't want to give them the public Superman. I would like to give my readers a bit more of a human picture of the Man of Steel. What are some of his likes and dislikes? What do you do for fun? And most important... what do you look for in a woman?"

She saw that she'd made him uncomfortable. "Oh, I'm sorry. I never thought that you might not have any interest in a woman. Perhaps you swing the other way; and that's fine if you do. It's just that my readers would be very disappointed if you do."

He chuckled. "No, I like women just fine. But I do have to warn you that I'll probably come off as quite boring and uninteresting to your readers."

"I hardly think so." She pulled out a small portable recorder. "Do you mind if I record this? I don't have a perfect memory and I don't want to be accused of 'putting words in your mouth'."

He nodded. "No, that would be fine. So, what do you want to know?"

A sly smile fought its way onto Cat's face, but she quickly smoothed her features. She didn't want Superman to suspect that this was anything but a legitimate interview. People often underestimated her given the kind of column that she wrote, but Catherine Grant was very good at her job, and one of the reasons she always got the good stuff is that she knew how to make people open up to her.

She started Superman off with a lot of fluffy softball-type questions. She asked about his basic statistics, like height, weight, and such. She followed up with several innocuous questions such as favorite color, most beautiful place he'd ever visited, and the like. They spoke easily for about a half an hour before Cat decided it was time to prepare her trap for Lois.

"Well, Superman, you had to know these next questions were coming, so we might as well get them out of the way. Just what do you look for in a woman?"

His smile had a resigned quality to it. "Unfortunately, in my position, I can't really have any close relationships with anyone, let alone with a woman. It would be too dangerous. They would become targets for those who might want to strike back at me."

Cat frowned. "Don't you think that sounds a bit patronizing? Any woman who did get involved with you would have to know what came along with the relationship, and it would be her choice as well... wouldn't it?"

Superman shrugged. "I suppose... maybe."

Cat waved off his growing unease. "Never mind that. You still haven't answered the question. Let's talk in a hypothetical sense. If you were free to have a relationship, what qualities would you look for in a woman?"

He frowned and took several moments before he answered her question. "Well, I suppose she would have to be someone I respect. She would have to be intelligent, have a passion for she does, and would be loyal to her friends. She'd also have to have compassion for those less fortunate."

Cat snorted. "Except for those last couple of points, it almost sounds like Lois." She saw him blush. That was interesting. There'd always been talk that Lois' situation was more than just a one-way infatuation. Could it be possible that Superman actually *liked* Lois more than a casual friend? It seemed unlikely, given how hard Lois was to actually like, but it was something that Cat decided to file away for future consideration.

She shifted the notepad she held on her lap. "Those are all admirable qualities, but you haven't given me a physical description of this wonder woman. Is she short, tall, blonde, brunette, redhead? What makes Superman sit up and take notice?"

He laughed. "Well, I hate to sound wishy-washy, but I don't really have any preferences. I can appreciate a beautiful woman as well as the next guy, but it really all depends on how the woman puts it all together. The individual parts aren't as important as the total look. Do the hair, make-up, and clothing work together well to showcase the person at her best, and tell me who she is?" He held up his hand to forestall her comment. "Now, you realize that I'm talking strictly about first impression physical looks here. Once you get to know a person, their inner beauty, or lack of it, far outshines the mere physical."

Cat rolled her eyes. "Very diplomatic." Cat set down the notepad. It was time. "Okay, let's say I buy into your politically correct answers. I do find it interesting that what you are saying here is a bit contradictory to what I've heard."

"What have you heard?"

"Well, for one, I heard that you liked brunettes best." She noted the slightest reaction to that. So much for objectivity. "And I also heard that you prefer women with short hair."

He looked confused. "Who told you that?"

"Which?"

"That I prefer women with short hair."

"You don't?"

"Like I said, it doesn't really matter. If short hair works for the person, fine; if long hair works, that's fine too."

"So, there's no particular trait that earth women posses that reminds you of Kryptonian women?"

Superman shrugged again. "Since I look pretty much like a normal earth man, I assume that Kryptonian women look pretty much like normal earth women."

Cat raised her brow. "You assume?"

She knew immediately that she had struck some sort of nerve because suddenly Superman looked like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. There was something here. Something that wasn't common knowledge. Something that maybe even Lois didn't know.

"Look, Superman, if I've made you uncomfortable, or have stumbled across something that you don't wish to talk about, I'm sorry. I won't press you." Cat leaned back and studied the nervous hero for a few moments. "Okay, here's the deal. You were right. This isn't going to make a very interesting article. You are exactly what everyone thinks you are, and that isn't going to make for good copy. But I have to admit that you've peaked my curiosity here. If there is something that you don't want made public, I promise it will go no further than this room. I hope you know that you can trust me."

The Man of Steel steepled his fingers in front of his face as he seemed to be thinking. Finally, he sighed, and gave Cat a smile. "I do believe I can trust you Catherine. Most folks believe I've only been on this planet a short time. It's a belief that I haven't exactly dissuaded people from thinking. The truth is; I came to earth as a baby and have grown up on this planet. A kindly couple raised me as their own son. You can understand my reluctance to let this information become well known. My foster parent's lives could be in great danger if any one knew."

Cat was thunderstruck, but she managed to weakly nod her agreement. After a few moments she was able to find her voice. "I understand, and I will keep your secret? Does Lois know?"

"No, not yet." Yes! Not yet? "Anyway, you see, to answer your question. I have no idea if Kryptonian women are any different from earth woman since I really have no memory of them. Actually, I wouldn't know if Kryptonian women had long hair, or if they were hairless." He gave her a smile. "For all I know, they could look like little green men."

She joined him in a fit of laughter.

Cat stood up. "I'm sorry; I've been a terrible host. Would you like something to drink? I have soda, Perrier, or something stronger?"

Superman stood up. "No thank you. I'm sorry that the interview didn't go the way you had hoped. If you have no further questions I should really be going. I still need to make a patrol over the city."

"No, I won't keep you any longer, and it's too bad that I don't really have what I had hoped for, but you don't have to worry. Not only won't there be any column from this, but I swear I won't breathe a word about you coming to earth as a child to anyone."

"Thank you, Catherine. I do appreciate that. Take care." He turned and stepped onto the window sill. In another moment he was gone, leaving only the telltale sonic boom to mark his passing.

Cat stared at the curtains as they fluttered in the breeze allowed in by the open window. She walked over and closed it. A smile touched her cheeks as she turned and contemplated the evening. It had been nearly perfect. She couldn’t have asked for anything better, except maybe really getting a column out of this faux interview. But she was happy. She'd gotten what she needed for her plan. She had a long night of tape editing ahead of her, but it would be worth it. Come morning she would have some very interesting things for Ms. Lois Lane to listen to.

*********************

Lois Lane sat at her desk staring at her blank computer screen. She had no story, and no story ideas. Clark wasn't going to be in till later. He'd called her and told her he had several errands to run and that he'd catch up with her for lunch. Lois was just about to give Bobby Bigmouth a call to see if there was any word on the street about anything the least bit shady when she was distracted by the elevator doors opening. A quick glance told her that it wasn't Clark. It was just Cat. Lois frowned. It seemed a bit early for Cat to be coming in, and the woman didn't look too happy.

Cat caught Lois' eye and marched right up to her desk. "I see that you're having problems coming up with something too."

"What?"

Cat pointed at Lois' blank screen. "You apparently don't have any copy for tomorrow morning's edition either." Cat sat on the corner of Lois' desk and sighed. Lois wondered what heck the woman was going on about. She was holding a tape recorder in her hand and waving it about. "Here I thought I had a chance at the perfect column. An inside scoop on Superman, but it turned out to be a bust."

Lois' attention immediately perked up. "What are you talking about, Cat? What about Superman?"

Cat let go another dramatic sigh. "Oh, I had a personal interview with the Man of Steel last night. You know, I thought I could get him to tell me some juicy tidbits about his personal life."

Lois was stunned. "You had an interview with Superman?"

"Yeah, but do you know what, Lois? He really is a big boy scout. Oh, he had a few interesting things to say, but nothing I could build a column around. It seems he really is 'all work and no play' and that makes Superman a dull boy."

Lois had to hide her smirk. Obviously, Cat's idea of what made an exciting person and hers were quite different. "Maybe he just didn't feel like he could open up to you."

"Maybe, but I doubt it." Cat stared down at the seated Lois. "Look, I knew that coming on to him wouldn't work against Superman, but I do know how to get people to talk to me. It's what I do, just like you ferret out crime scandals. Superman did open up to me. The proof of that is on this tape." She waved the recorder about. "The simple, sad, truth is; he just isn't that interesting. At least not to my readers."

Lois watched as Cat strode off and dumped the small tape machine on her own desk. Cat didn't stop; she just kept on walking, making her way up to the coffee station. After pouring a cup and making a face after taking a sip, she threw the cup into the trash. She turned toward Lois.

"Lois, if anyone asks; I've gone out to Manny's to get a decent cup of coffee... and maybe a danish. I should be back by... lunch." Cat then headed for the elevators and in another minute was gone from the bullpen.

Lois waited for several moments after the elevator had departed, then turned her attention to tiny recorder sitting on the desk no more than ten feet away from her. Lois glanced around the newsroom, checking to see if anyone was watching her. From the moment that Cat had mentioned that she'd had an interview with Superman, there was no doubt in her mind that she was going to listen to that tape. She just didn't want anyone to know that she was doing so.

Lois rose and walked up to the coffee station and poured herself a cup, even though she still had a fresh cup on her desk. On her way back she passed by Cat's desk and palmed the small machine and put it in her pocket. Sitting back down, she pretended to start working on something at her computer. She kept up the pretense for a couple of minutes, then rose and made a beeline for the ladies room.

Once inside one of the stalls, Lois grabbed the tiny earphone and pushed it into her ear. It wouldn't do her any good to have someone walk in and hear her listening to Cat's tape. She took a deep breath and pushed the button.

Lois listened as Cat fed Superman a lot of the kind of questions designed to put the subject at ease. She was familiar with the technique. Superman answered just as she thought he would. His responses were concise and honest. They were as Cat said they were. They were boring. But that was to be expected. Lois was getting fidgety. When was Cat going to get to some good questions? Superman was surely comfortable enough by now?

Suddenly Cat's voice caused Lois to take notice, and she refocused her attention on the tape.

["Well, Superman, you had to know these next questions were coming, so we might as well get them out of the way. Just what do you look for in a woman?"]

["Unfortunately, in my position, I can't really have any close relationships with anyone, let alone with a woman. It would be too dangerous. They would become targets for those who might want to strike back at me."]

Lois snorted. "Oh, pu-leese."

["Don't you think that sounds a bit patronizing? Any woman who did get involved with you would have to know what came along with the relationship and it would be her choice as well... wouldn't it?"]

["I suppose... maybe."]

"You tell him, girl."

["Never mind that. You still haven't answered the question. Let's talk in a hypothetical sense. If you were free to have a relationship, what qualities would you look for in a woman?"]

Lois frowned. Hypothetical, give me a break.

["Well, I suppose she would have to be someone I respect. She would have to be intelligent, have a passion for she does, and would be loyal to her friends. She'd also have to have compassion for those less fortunate."]

Lois smiled.

["Those are all admirable qualities, but you haven't given me a physical description of this wonder woman. Is she short, tall, blonde, brunette, redhead? What makes Superman sit up and take notice?"]

Lois stared hard at the little device as if she could will it to tell her what she wanted to hear.

["Well, I can appreciate a beautiful woman as well as the next guy, but I prefer women with short hair."]

Lois nearly dropped the recorder. "What?" Cat's voice cut through Lois' confusion.

["Well, I guess that lets me out. So, any reason for that preference? Is it a trait that most Kryptonian women shared?"]

["Actually, Kryptonian women were hairless."]

Lois' hand went involuntarily to her hair as her mouth hung open in disbelief. There was the sound of some shared laughter on the tape.

["I'm sorry that the interview didn't go the way you had hoped. If you have no further questions I should really be going. I still need to make a patrol over the city."]

["That's okay, Superman, it was a long shot anyway. Thanks for coming over, and I want you to know that I do appreciate all that you've done for this city."]

["Thank you, Catherine. Take care."]

Lois' hands shook as she barely managed to switch off the small recorder. She chewed on her bottom lip as she got up and quickly exited the ladies room. On her way back to her own desk she surreptitiously dropped the recorder back onto Cat's. She dropped down into her own seat with an audible thud.

She stared at the computer screen but her mind refused to pay it any attention. Instead she could only replay what she had just heard, over and over, in her mind. A shadow moving across her desk top caused her to look up. Jimmy Olsen was walking by, his arms loaded down with files.

"Jimmy." He stopped and looked at her. "Would you say that I have short hair?"

Jimmy looked confused by her question as first, then he shrugged. "No, I wouldn’t say that your hair is short. It's not really long either. I guess you'd call it mid-length." He pointed at a young intern who was standing by some filing cabinets on the other side of the room. "Donna has what I'd call short hair. Why?"

Lois looked over to where Jimmy had pointed. She saw a young woman with dark blonde hair cut in a very short, almost boyish, style. She had a nicely shaped head, and the style looked good on her. Lois began to worry her bottom lip again. "No reason. Just curious."

She stood up and grabbing her bag, swiftly moved up the ramp toward the elevators. "Jimmy, when Clark gets here, tell him I've gone home for the day. I've got some errands to run."

**************

After a brisk fifteen minute walk Lois found herself in front of Cindy's Salon. Lois and Cindy had become friends back in college. College girls had little money to spend on their hair, so Cindy had been the one in the dorm who had kept everyone's hair neatly trimmed. After school the young woman had opened her own shop and Lois had been a faithful customer ever since.

She stood outside the door for several minutes. What was she doing here? Finally, with a sigh of resignation she entered the small shop. Once inside she was spied by Cindy almost immediately.

The young woman came over to her. "Lois, what are you doing here? Your normal appointment isn't for several weeks yet."

Lois nodded mutely. It took her a few moments to find her voice. "I, um, I was in the neighborhood, and I was thinking that, ah, maybe it was time for a change. You know, something, um, perhaps a little... shorter?"

Cindy raised her brow, then shrugged. "Okay. I'm with another customer right now, but I just had a cancellation today, so I can squeeze you in." She indicated the few chairs that occupied the small waiting area. "Have a seat; I'll only be about fifteen minutes or so."

Lois sat down and quickly picked up one of the magazines to give her hands something to do. It was a magazine of short hairstyles. She began to page through it. She seemed almost mesmerized by picture after picture of smiling young women sporting a variety of short styles.

Her brow furrowed in a frown. Was she really contemplating getting her hair cut short just because Superman said he preferred short hair on women? Well, why shouldn't she? She desperately wanted Superman to notice her, what better way than to get the kind of haircut that he preferred. Wouldn't that be a good reason to get her hair cut? Her fingers found themselves combing through her locks. Would she look good in short hair? She'd never had it shorter than it was now. Did she have the guts to cut it short?

She glared at her reflection in a nearby mirror. She was Lois Lane. She didn't run off and consider cutting her hair because some man thought she'd look better that way. Of course, this wasn't just some man. This was Superman, and if you'd asked her earlier she'd probably have said that there would be nothing she wouldn't do for him. If a short haircut would make her more desirable to him, then why not? Actually, if she really wanted to make him notice her, she'd just shave it all off. Become bald, like the women of his home planet.

She clenched her fists as she looked up and saw that Cindy was nearly done with her current client. Her time was almost up. She had to make her decision. Either she stepped up and told Cindy to cut it short... or she would keep her hair the way it was. What should she do?

(Well gentle readers what do you think Lois will do? Will she get her hair cut to please Superman, or not? Find out the answer in part two)