Toc, this is for you.
You Think You Know Someone...
_______________________________
At least they were still on pavement.
Lois stared out the passenger window of the small, green rental as it quietly sped through endless miles of Kansas flatness. Her partner had been strangely quiet, and so much of the trip had passed in relative silence---giving her plenty of time to ponder the insanity of their editor in sending them out to the middle of nowhere for a "John Deere vs. Big Brother" story. Actually, the dulled mood of her nomally-perky partner was quite strange, especially given that it was his beloved hometown which they were travelling to.
"What's the matter, Smallville?" Lois asked. "I thought you'd be excited to be back in corn-country again. Don't tell me you've actually gotten spoiled by living in civilization?" She turned to look at him.
Clark glanced at her briefly without taking his hands off the wheel. "What? No! It's not that, Lois. Smallville is a wonderful town! I'm sure you'll learn to love it."
Lois played with her hair. "What is it, then?"
Clark stared at the road, as though he were trying to avoid answering her question. He looked down at the dashboard.
"Clark?"
"We're out of gas."
Right on cue, the low-fuel light blinked on. Thankfully, they were only a couple miles from a gas station. Clark piloted the car into the pump area, and Lois waited while he refueled the car.
After replacing the gas nozzle and screwing the cap back on, Clark left to go pay. Lois waited for his return.
He seemed to be taking forever.
After several minutes, Lois unbuckled her belt and marched over to the building. She pushed the glass door open, and heard the sound of someone laughing.
A quick glance showed a rude, young cashier behind the register, wiping tears from his eyes with one hand as he handed Clark's credit card and ID back to him. The youth was laughing so hard that it came out as a snort. Around them, other people were chuckling. A woman by the snackfood shelves was obviously trying to fight the upward curling of her own lips, and turned away to hide her failure.
They only one who was not amused was Clark. Clark looked angry. He snatched his card and liscence from the cashier and stuffed them back in his wallet as he hurried away, grabbing Lois by the arm and pulling her out the door.
The cashier called after them. "Goodbye------" His words were cut off by the door closing behind them.
"Clark?" Lois looked at her partner questioningly as he bundled her into the car, climbed into the driver's side, and took off.
**********
"Welcome to Smallville, Lois." Clark's warm tone was in stark contrast to the nervous tension in his face. Lois briefly wondered if his apparent stress had something to do with Wayne Irig's situation---after all, he did say the man was a family friend. That didn't seem to be it, though.
They parked outside of a small eatery called "Maisy's" and got out of the car. Clark told her about the wonderful food there, the large portions, and some trivia about when he was young and grew up with the resturaunt's owner as well as most of its patrons. While he spoke, the nervousness remained in his eyes, and he kept glancing around.
Before Lois could comment, however, Clark suddenly got a far-away look in his eyes. He escorted Lois to a table outside and asked her to wait for him while he found a phone to call his parents.
Lois wondered how small this town could possibly be, given that finding a phone meant jogging at least a block away from the resturaunt and turning the corner. She watched Clark's retreating back until he was out of sight, then picked up a menu and started thinking about what to order. Cattle were mooing off in the distance, and they seemed to get louder whenever she glanced at the hamburger section...
Just when Lois had narrowed her selection down to two dishes, a perky blonde woman walked up to the table, a notepad in her hand. She looked straight at Lois and smiled broadly. "Hi, there! I'm Maisy. Are you Lindsay's friend?"
Lois lowered her menu and looked up at the woman. "No, I'm not, sorry. I don't know any Lindsay."
The woman---Maisy---frowned and tapped her notebook with a short pencil. "Funny, I could 'a swore I saw you two talking earlier..."
"You must've been mistaken," Lois said with a shrug.
"I see," Maisy finally conceded. "So, what brings you to Smallville?"
After some small chatter, Maisy took Lois' order and disappeared into the kitchen.
Five minutes after she left, Clark came jogging up. He gave Lois an apologetic smile as he pulled out a chair and sat down. "Sorry about that," he muttered. He raked a hand through his hair.
Lois studied him carefully. "Are you all right, Clark?"
Clark looked up at her, but didn't seem quite able to meet her eyes. "Yeah, I----" He gave up and sighed. "Lois?"
"Yes?" Lois gently prompted. She was starting to get concerned.
"Are we friends?"
The question took her aback somewhat. "Well, sure, Clark. I guess we're friends. Why?"
He sucked in air through his teeth, creating a sort of hissing sound. "There's something I should probably tell----"
"LINDSAY!"
Clark looked up with wide, almost sorrowful eyes as Maisy came out of the diner, making a bee-line for him.
The woman wrapped her arms around Clark in a big bear-hug, which he returned. "Lindsay! It's good to see you, Lin! You've been gone for such a long time!"
"Hi, Maisy," Clark replied, actually smiling at her. The smile vanished when he turned to look nervously at Lois.
"Lindsay?" Lois echoed. She looked from Clark to Maisy, and back again. "*Lindsay*?"
Clark grimaced slightly, then turned back to Maisy. "Maisy, this is Lois, my partner at the Daily Planet."
Maisy turned to shake Lois' hand. "Partner, huh? Now how come you were tellin' me you didn't know him?"
Lois glanced at Clark as she returned the handshake. "At the moment, Maisy, I'm not sure that I do..."
Maisy studied both of them, and decided not to ask. She pulled her notepad out and looked at Clark. "What can I get you, Lin?"
Clark shrugged and sank back into his chair. "I'll just have one of your grilled cheese sandwhiches, Maisy." He turned to Lois, who cut him off with a wave.
"I already ordered," she told him, as Maisy headed over to another table to tend to some more customers.
Clark looked down and sheepishly fiddled with a napkin.
Lois stared at him from across the table.
"I---um---I guess I should explain," Clark said flatly to the napkin.
"Go ahead, Clark," said Lois. "Or should I call you Lindsay?"
Clark squirmed and let out a cough. "Frankly, Lois, I'd rather you call me Clark. But, I guess I might as well tell you, that isn't my real name."
Lois stared at him. She was on the verge of snickering. "You're real name is Lindsay, Kent?"
Clark---Lindsay---blushed, and was just about to speak, when suddenly another woman rushed up to the table and threw her arms around him. "Lindsay Valentine Hart, shame on you for not calling me as soon as you got into town!"
The look on Clark-Lindsay's face indicated that he was ready to die of embarrassment.
Lois was ready to die laughing.
* * * * * * * * * *
EPILOGUE: A Couple Years Later
Lois stood in front of Superman, watching him carefully. If this plan worked, her best friend and boyfriend would have a chance to save his parents. If it didn't, she could die, but at least she'd die knowing she did her best to help him.
"Superman," she said softly.
"Yes, Lois?"
"If anything happens---" she took in a breath to steady herself. "---tell Clark--that I love him."
Superman's eyes softened. "He knows, Lois." He gently reached out and cupped her cheek.
It was a familiar guesture...one that Lois had felt so many times before from----
Lois gasped.
"Close your ey----" Superman's words were cut off as Lois suddenly doubled over, unable to supress her laughter.
She gasped in vain for air, her sides threatening to split apart.
Superman was a LINDSAY!
