From Last Time:
"Sir, what you're doing takes real courage," she said, with no hint of disingenuousness in her tone.
"I'm just going to be answering a few questions," he replied. "I'm not going to be saving a settlement, or retaking a hill, Commander."
Talan turned to face him. "Courage takes different forms, sir. Sometimes the hardest thing we have to do is to face what we most want to forget." He knew that she believed what she was saying. She wasn't merely patronizing him. It made sense, he supposed. She'd admitted in the past that she didn't deal with the things she'd done. Instead, she'd learned to divorce herself from them. But apparently that nifty trick didn't work anymore, and she, too, was being forced to come to terms with things that seemed better left forgotten.
They could no more deny the things they'd been through and the things they'd done than they could deny who they were. You couldn't outrun the past forever; it always found a way of catching up to you.
********
New Stuff:
Jimmy flopped down on the couch in the editor's office. He grinned up at Lois, where she sat perched on Perry's desk. He still couldn't quite reconcile the Lois Lane he'd known for years with the superhero the entire world admired.
"That was a heck of a speech, honey," Perry drawled, leaning with his back against the door.
"It really was, Lois," Jimmy agreed.
"Thanks guys," she replied. "I wasn't totally sure about it and I still don't know if it went over all that well."
"The world needed a good, swift kick in the pants and you were the right person to deliver it," Perry assured her.
Jimmy smiled, in full accord with Perry's sentiments. "Any big celebration plans?"
"No," she replied simply with a slight shake of her head. "But if I don't head out soon, I'll be late for dinner. And I have some fences to mend."
"The State Department?"
"The UN?" Jimmy and Perry spoke in unison.
"My in-laws," she said with a humorless laugh. "I think they might still be hurt because they heard about the prize on the evening news instead of from me."
Jimmy watched as Perry arched a skeptical brow at his favorite reporter. "You didn't tell them?"
She sighed. "I was still a bit… out of it. I didn't really believe it, and I wasn't sure I was going to accept it."
"Well, I personally can't see the Kents holding a grudge," Perry replied.
"You're right," Lois admitted. "And they've been nothing but supportive. I guess I just don't know how to talk to them about certain things, which is weird because I've always been able to talk to them about everything."
"Hmmm… well, you know how much they care about you. If you quit talking to them about the important stuff, they're just going to worry even more about you," the old editor said thoughtfully. Jimmy was starting to feel like an interloper in a father-daughter conversation.
"I know," she replied as she stood up. "Which is why I should head out." Jimmy got up off the couch and hugged his friend.
"Goodnight, darlin', and congratulations again," Perry said as he pulled Lois into arms.
"Yeah, congrats," Jimmy echoed as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.
"Thanks." She gave them a smile that didn't reach her eyes before opening the door and walking out.
"That girl is something else," the older man mused as he shook his head.
"She really is," Jimmy agreed. He watched as she walked out and felt a slight blush creep into his complexion. It was hard to believe that years ago, he'd actually told her that he dreamt about her making a man out of him. The thought alone was mortifying. At least now he knew that deep, dark confessions in the face of death were not the way to go. Then, of course, there was his extremely embarrassing crush on Ultrawoman. Man, was he lucky that Lois had been such a good sport about it.
She was one of the best friends he'd ever had. She was an absolute knockout, but he didn't think about her that way, at least not anymore. You certainly couldn't blame a guy for thinking that a woman as brilliant, beautiful, and confident as Lois Lane could teach him a thing or two about what women wanted. And that's what Jimmy had thought, back when he thought being a man had something to do with being able to rip phone books in half and date lots of attractive women.
Lois, however, had taught him something a lot more important than how to impress girls. She'd taught him what it meant to be a good person – to take care of the people you loved, to fight injustice, and protect the vulnerable. She was still impatient and stubborn, but she was also generous and compassionate.
Before he knew that Clark was Superman, Jimmy had been almost insanely jealous of the guy. He could have had almost any woman on the planet. The funny thing was, Clark barely seemed to notice; the only woman he wanted was the only one who didn't seem interested in him. Yet somehow, he'd won her over. It was like life had thrown Clark Kent a slow, hanging curve ball and he'd knocked it clean out of the park. He had an amazing job, lots of friends, tons of respect, and a woman that many single men—along with plenty of those who weren't—dreamed of, who was completely crazy about him.
Even after he knew that Clark was Superman it took him a long time to realize that being Clark Kent wasn't simply about winning life's lottery. Life was very rarely fair, but it had seemed to get a lot of things right when it came to Lois and Clark. If there was one person in the world who was going to have godlike powers, it should have been Clark – the one guy you could trust to only use those powers for good things. And while Jimmy was pretty sure Clark loved being Superman, it only took an afternoon of following Ultrawoman around Kinwara to realize that being a superhero was lonely and painful work a lot of the time. Clark took care of the entire world; he needed someone amazing, someone incredibly strong to take care of him.
Now it was Lois taking care of the world. But who took care of her?
It wasn't possible that life or fate or destiny or whatever had brought together two people who were so right for each other, only to break them up almost immediately, was it? But what if Clark never came back? Jimmy tried hard not to think about the possibility, and he certainly never would have said a word about it aloud, but there was always a chance. He wouldn't have his powers where he was and he was throwing himself into the middle of a war. There was no guarantee that he would be safe. But for Lois's sake, he had to make it back, he just had to. He was startled out of his maudlin musings by a hearty clap on the shoulder.
"Come on, son, we've got to work on the layout for your shots for the Sunday magazine," Perry said.
"Sure thing, chief," Jimmy replied with a nod.
********
Enza rubbed her temples in an attempt to soothe away the headache forming there. She opened her eyes and stared at her pale reflection in the mirror. Her skin was sallow and clammy and the worst bout of nausea threatened to knock her to the floor. She splashed cold water on her face and started to take slow, deep breaths. Her stomach wrenched itself into a twisted series of knots.
"You've done this before, you can do it again," she whispered softly to herself as she looked up at the ceiling, trying to fight off the queasiness. She couldn't afford to panic or succumb to nerves. She had a job to do. Everyone was counting on her to get this right. Besides, she'd made a promise to Thia. Nor was never going to hurt anyone ever again, and in order to keep that promise, she had to focus. They'd gone over the direct examination so many times she'd memorized the entire line of questioning – all eight hours of it – without meaning to.
It was going to be fine, she told herself. She'd get Kal El comfortable, and settled into a rhythm quickly. He was a thoroughly honest person; one of the most credible witnesses she'd ever prepared. His testimony was going to be convincing. It would guarantee a permanent end to Nor's freedom.
Enza exhaled slowly and finished dressing. She pulled the long, gray jurist's robe on over her military uniform and regarded her reflection again. At least she looked like a lawyer. She opened the door and walked back into the bedroom.
Her husband walked toward her, half-dressed. "Ready?" he asked softly. She nodded as she wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her head against his bare chest. His strong arms came around her and held her close as he stroked her hair. "You're going to do fine." The words rumbled deep in his body. She wished that she had his quiet confidence, but in a way, she did. His faith in her gave her strength.
"Are you going to be able to make it?" she asked.
"I'll be there as soon as I take Thia to school," he replied.
She took a step back and looked up at him. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he smiled reassuringly. He kissed her gently. "I love you," he murmured.
Enza gave him a tremulous smile. "I love you."
********
He entered the courtroom with Zara at his side. Her hand on the crook of his elbow, she walked toward the prosecutors' table with him. The audience suddenly grew silent and it was like he could feel every one of the hundreds of pairs of eyes on them. Zara placed her other hand on top of his and gave it a gentle squeeze before stepping aside. She smiled warmly at him and turned back to the gallery, where Ching was waiting for her. Also seated in the audience were Talan and Lok Sim, among other familiar faces. Ching and Lok Sim had already testified, the former about Clark's rescue and the latter about Nor's capture. It would be Talan's turn in a few weeks, when the prosecution turned to the charges relating to Silban. Councilor Shai stared out from the gallery with his hawk-like eyes fixed on the jurists' dais at the front of the room. Tao Scio, too, sat among the gathered crowd. He gave Clark a slight, tight-lipped smile and an almost imperceptible nod. The majority of the spectators, however, had gone back to talking amongst themselves in murmured whispers.
"Good tidings, sir," Enza greeted him with a solemn bow. She was wearing the dark gray robes she'd donned for Ching's trial years before. But while she'd always carried herself with a gravitas beyond her years, she seemed to have grown into her role even more since the time when she was a brand new captain, taking her first major case to trial. If she was nervous, it didn't show. All he could see in her expression was quiet determination. Standing in front of him, young in age and slight of build though she might have been, she still had a calm, commanding presence, the sort that inspired confidence.
"Good tidings," he responded. He tried to smile but was sure it came across as more of a grimace.
"It'll be just like we practiced, sir," she said softly.
Just then, the doors at the side of the courtroom opened and a pair of guards frog-marched Nor in, his hands manacled and linked to a chain wrapped around his waist and connected to the shackles on his ankles. The chains clinked and rattled as he walked in abbreviated steps toward the defense table. As one of the guards uncuffed him, Nor turned to look right at Clark. He stared unblinking at his enemy, a feral grin spreading across his gaunt face.
Clark refused to shrink away from Nor's hard gaze, but he didn't return the monster's malicious stare. This wasn't about revenge or personal hatred. It wasn't even about proving he wasn't afraid of Nor anymore. It was about justice and making sure that Nor never hurt anyone ever again. It was about keeping his oath as the First Minister to protect the people of New Krypton from harm.
Enza's hand brushed against his and he looked over to see the lawyers at his table all taking their seats. He sat down, his hands folded in front of him, and waited. Mar Dov whispered something to Enza that he couldn't make out. A few minutes passed, with the audience still murmuring in the gallery and the lawyers still strategizing in hushed tones. Out of the corner of his eye, Clark could see Nor and his defense team huddled together. Nor would frequently look up at him, but Clark continued to face forward, trying to keep his face expressionless. In his head, he tried to remember the cross examination questions he'd gone over with Mar Dov. He reminded himself that Nor's attorney would be as inflammatory as the rules would allow and that he couldn't allow himself to rise to the bait. He needed to maintain his composure. Everyone on New Krypton was watching this trial. He was under an entire planet's scrutiny.
It seemed like an eternity passed before the panel of three jurists entered the courtroom. Everyone stood up and remained frozen at attention until the judges took their seats at the dais. Before he sat back down, Clark stole the opportunity to glance over his shoulder. Behind him, he could see Zara giving him a tight-lipped smile. Talan nodded slightly in quiet encouragement as their eyes met. As did Ching. His friends communicated their silent support as he prepared to take the witness stand.
The head of the jurists' panel turned to look at Mar Dov. "Counselor?"
Mar Dov stood up. "The prosecuting witness is called to testify."
Clark stood up and walked to the witness stand. The courtroom was completely silent except for the sounds of his boots on the hard floor. The short walk seemed so interminably long, the deafening quiet of the cavernous hall mimicking total solitude. He was surrounded by people, and yet, he was completely alone.
********
"Sir, did the defendant ever attempt to interrogate you?" She placed her hands on the podium in front of her as she looked at her witness, weary from the long day of questioning.
He shook his head slightly. "No," he said, his tone soft, but clear.
"He never attempted to get military information from you?" she followed up.
"No," the First Minister repeated. Nor cleared his throat, causing Kal El to look over to the defense table. His brow furrowed and he frowned. Enza stared hard at her witness, silently urging him to maintain his focus. His eyes met hers and she knew that he was fine.
"At any point during your detention, did the defendant explain why you were being held captive?"
Kal El leaned forward slightly. "All he ever told me was that I'd usurped his rightful position. And that he intended to make me pay for it." She could see a muscle in his jaw jump and twitch as he frowned. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the people in the gallery watching the proceedings in rapt attention. But it didn't matter that Kal El could captivate the audience. What mattered was whether or not he could convince the jurists.
Enza nodded grimly. "The prosecution has no further questions at this time," she said as she looked up at the panel of judges.
"These proceedings are in recess until tomorrow morning," the head judge declared. Kal El stood up from the witness stand and walked toward her. She smiled at him. He gave her a faint, tight-lipped smile in response as he passed. Behind the prosecutors' table, Zara was waiting for him. Arm in arm, the First Ministers left the courtroom.
Enza packed away her digital tablet and files. "We'll reconvene in a few hours," Mar Dov said. She nodded before making her way out into the hallway. She craned her neck as she looked for Lok Sim, but in truth, if he were in the crowd, she would have had no difficulty spotting him. He'd probably just slipped out ahead of the throng of people.
Exhausted by the long day's proceedings, she made the short walk from the courtroom to her office and opened the door. Her husband was waiting for her inside. Smiling, he swept her up in his arms, lifting her from her feet in his enthusiasm. "You were amazing," he whispered softly by her ear.
She stood on her toes to kiss him. "Thank you for being there," she murmured.
"I wouldn't have missed it for anything," he said as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He framed her face between his hands and kissed her gently. "You are an incredible woman, do you know that?"
"And I married the most wonderful man in the world," she replied. Exhausted, Enza allowed herself to fall into his arms. The trial wasn't over, not even close, but the first major challenge had been cleared. Kal El had performed brilliantly and she was confident that Nor's fate was sealed.
********
His hand trembled as he lifted the glass to his mouth. He focused hard and willed it to stop. The water soothed his scratchy, parched throat. Having to talk for so long had left his voice hoarse. "You did an excellent job, sir," Ching said as he sat down across from him at the library table.
Clark smiled somewhat weakly. "Thanks," he managed. He couldn't believe how exhausted he was, how psychologically draining the entire experience had been. "But I'm only half way there."
"You will do fine on the cross examination, sir," Ching assured him in that confident tone he used when he was certain of everything and in complete control of a situation.
Clark responded with a humorless laugh. "I wish I felt that certain."
Ching frowned. "Clark, we all have a great deal of faith in you, but what matters now is that you have faith in yourself. You have led our people through difficult times and have suffered the unspeakable. You have strength enough to do this, my friend."
********
"How's my favorite lawyer doing?"
"Ultrawoman! What a surprise," Constance said as she stood up from behind her desk. "What can I do for you?"
Lois stepped into Constance Hunter's office. Not long after she'd successfully defended Superman in that personal injury suit, he'd offered her a job as general counsel of the Superman Foundation. Working for the nonprofit seemed to suit the idealistic lawyer a lot more than her trial practice had. "I'm supposed to be receiving a rather substantial amount of money from the Nobel Committee, and I want it donated directly to the Foundation."
"That would be incredibly generous of you," Constance replied.
Lois shrugged. "Well, it's not like I have much use for it. I'd like the Foundation to use the money in its work in Kinwara."
"I'll make sure to arrange that," Constance replied.
"I appreciate it, Constance," Lois said with a slight smile.
"My pleasure, Ultrawoman. And have a Merry Christmas."
"You too," Lois replied. She headed out of the office and onto the bustling midtown street, full of tourists and shoppers braving the snow. The streets and shops were decorated with ribbons, twinkling lights, and garlands; all around her Metropolis was swept up with the spirit of the season. She took off and flew toward Smallville. Outside the farmhouse, she spun back into her regular clothes and walked up the porch steps.
Jon started to run toward her as soon as she opened the door. "Mommy!" he exclaimed happily.
"That's right, Mommy's home," she said as she crouched down to hug her son. She wiped a bit of what appeared to be flour off his face. "Were you a good boy while I was gone?"
He nodded, smiling. "Yes, Mommy."
"Did you and Grandma go see Santa Claus today?"
"Yeah," he whispered with a vigorous nod.
"What did you ask for?" He tugged on her sleeve and she leaned in closer so he could whisper his response to her. "Dinosaurs?" she repeated his answer.
"Yeah," he said.
"Do you know what my favorite dinosaur is?" she asked him. He shook his head 'no.' "The ticklesaurus!" she exclaimed as she started to tickle him. Jon burst into a fit of giggles.
"Jon, what are you doing out there, sweetie?" came his grandmother's voice. Lois pulled her son into a warm hug and they both looked up at Martha as she walked toward the entryway from the kitchen.
"Oh, hi Lois, I didn't realize you were back already," Martha said as she wiped the flour from her hands on kitchen towel. "How did everything go?"
"It went well," Lois replied as she stood up straight, lifting her son up in her arms. She wondered idly if the fact that she could carry him around forever without ever getting tired meant she was going to spoil him. If the little guy never wanted to walk anywhere, he certainly wouldn't have had to. "How are the Christmas cookies coming along?"
"We're almost done. Jon was a very big help," Martha replied, her eyes twinkling behind her glasses.
"Is that right?" Lois asked as she looked at her little boy.
Jon nodded and smiled to reveal his perfectly straight, white little baby teeth. "I helped Grandma," he confirmed.
"Did you help her make the cookies or eat the cookies?" Lois asked.
"Make and eat the cookies," he replied, still grinning. She didn't know how exactly it was that he did it, but her son never failed to cheer her up. He never failed to remind her that there were things in this world so wonderful, so perfect and pure that none of the things she had to deal with – the politicking and diplomacy, the terrible compromises and the problems without solutions – could touch them.
Perhaps she'd made things more difficult for herself by guarding so jealously the separation of her family life from her work. Perhaps the fact that she couldn't talk to the people she loved about the things she saw and the things she had to do made the burdens that much heavier to bear, but the price was worth it because she could keep her loved ones safe and protected. Her in-laws weren't naïve and they weren't clueless. But they didn't need to hear the terrible details of her work. Their support was invaluable, just like the unconditional love she received from her son, but there was only so much she could tell them, so much she that she was willing to let them know. They always told her that they were willing to listen, whenever she needed to talk, and she was grateful for it. While she shared with them the big things, the important things, she couldn't help but hold back. Surely, that was all right. Some topics were too painful to talk about and some burdens were unfair to share. They were already doing so much to support her and to take care of Jon. She couldn't ask anymore of them.
********
He reached for the doorknob and turned it, surprised to find it unlocked and all the deadbolts undone. Inside her apartment, everything looked exactly as it had the day he'd left. "Lois?" he called her name softly as he looked around the silent living room. She was sitting beside her large picture window, wearing the blue suit she'd had on when they'd said their goodbyes. His wife stared out at the night's sky, not acknowledging his presence.
"I'm waiting for him," she murmured at long last. "I promised I would be here, waiting for him."
"Sweetheart, I'm home," he said as he walked toward her. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and finally, she turned to look at him, tears shimmering in her dark, endless brown eyes.
"Is it really you?" she asked warily, as though she was afraid of his answer.
"It's really me, honey. It's me," he assured her.
Lois stood up, gazing deeply into his eyes. She was studying him, scrutinizing him, trying to find in him the man she'd watched leave all those years ago. A hesitant hand reached out to touch his face and it took all of his willpower to stand still, to let her recognize for herself that he was really there. He closed his eyes, silently enjoying the exquisite feel of her skin against his, wanting nothing more than to invite her into his embrace, to hold her near so they could both draw comfort from each other.
Her brow furrowed as she regarded him carefully. "Clark?" she whispered his name as a question and his heart broke, shattering to shards in his chest. He placed his hand on top of hers and merely nodded, knowing his voice would fail him if he tried to speak. "There's something different about you," she murmured.
"There is," he admitted. "I'm not the same." He looked at her, really looked at her, and realized that she wasn't, either. There was such tremendous sadness in her eyes and something he'd never seen before.
Resignation.
She'd waited, but had she stopped hoping? What had he done to her? What had he put her through?
"I guess neither one of us is," she murmured. Clark realized that he had no idea what she'd gone through all these years he was away. She hadn't been sitting, frozen in time, just waiting for life to begin again once he'd returned. He didn't know what sorts of difficulties she'd seen as Ultrawoman. He didn't know what stories she'd been working on, or what she was doing to make their separation easier to bear. He watched as a single tear slipped down her cheek. There was no way he could stop himself from brushing it away. He let his hand linger against her skin a moment longer than necessary. She looked up at him tearfully and he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as he stroked her soft, silken hair. "I'm not sure we can go back, to who we were," she whispered against his chest.
He closed his eyes and swallowed around the lump in his throat. "I'm sorry for every minute of pain I've put you through," he said softly. "And if there's any way I can become the man you loved again, I'll find it."
Clark woke up with a terrible ache in his chest. He sat up, his eyes still closed, trying to remind himself that he needed to focus. There was still much he needed to do before he could go home, before he could start trying to make up to her all the hurt he'd caused.
