Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: No, In Any Language 13/?

Elisabeth, I have not responded to your story lately, because I felt that it portrayed Lois in a too disagreeable light. I felt it reinforced all the negative stereotypes about Lois: she is a bitch, she needs to be taught a lesson, she needs to be put in her place by a man.

However, in this part, we learn that Lois has been raped in the past. Not only that, but when she reported the rape she was humiliated by the police, and she was similarly mocked and treated condescendingly by the doctor she saw for her injuries:

This is a part of an article that you can read today, on February 1 2007, in the British newspaper The Guardian:

A woman accuses a man of rape. Not only is he acquitted, but his victim finds out that the same man has been accused of committing rape four times before, but he was not found guilty on a single occasion. Please note the conviction rate for reported rapes in Great Britain today is 5%; so if a rape is reported to the police, the man has a 95% chance of not being found guilty.

Being raped is equivalent to being violated twice. First by the rapist, then by society which protects the rapist and mocks and humiliates the victim.

So if Lois is a rape victim, I can suddenly understand and sympathize with every bit of her bitchiness. No wonder she is on the defensive. No wonder she doesn't trust men. No wonder she believes that men are all in cahoots with one another, so that the best thing a woman can do is stay away from them and learn tae kwondo. Or, in this case, pumsae. (What the heck is that, by the way?)

Anyway. I much approve of this development, particularly that you gave Lois a good reason for her distrust of men. In that article I quoted from the Guardian, the rape victim said that she fantasised about killing the man who violated her. I most certainly don't want Lois to be a killer, but I hope that when Clark finally wins her over, as he inevitably must, not only Lois but also Clark will have been taught a lesson about how society turns a blind eye to the victims - and sometimes not even the good guys understand what is going on.

Ann

Comment on the /\above/\.

It is so sad that the conviction rate is so low. No, not sad, ing! I don't know what it is in the states, but I hope it is higher than that!

edit:
OK, I found this article that explains the 5% thing in the UK.

Please read So we are weak on rape? Think again by Camilla Cavendish

Actually, if that article is correct, then the UK is doing better since we only have a 46% conviction rate in the US.


Now for my comments.

Dream a little dream, dream, dream, dree-eam.


The entire near-rape scene.

If I remember correctly, I remember telling Elisabeth that it's first incarnation didn't seem realistic enough. That it didn't have the right sound to it. So she cut out all the dialog and just described the scene. It solidified it for me and made it all the more chilling to me.

And yes, the conversation after made everything perfectly clear why this Lois is the way she is and the walls that this Clark needs to get through. Thankfully, he is a Superman, if not in name then in character.

This is taken from real life. Maintence had gotten tired at the number of calls from the girls dorm about the mildew issue so, over one weekend, they, cleaned it as best as they could and painted all the shower stalls black.


A Lois is hopefully a learning Lois.

You'd be surprised Lois, you'd be surprised...

James.

I've been keeping up with this story and
I agree with this:

I also liked that Lois response is not to cry about it and run to Clark. True, she's too prickly, but I can't blame her.

Oh, this gave me such a good laugh!!


So Lois has been raped? That explains a lot.


Lois is softening....


And as if all that wasn’t bad enough, Ann, then we get the women who really do cry wolf - making it all the worse for the rest of us.


I was once almost raped - close enough to still be called sexual assault, and I chose not to go the legal route because I assumed (and probably rightly so) that he would never have been convicted because we were in a relationship. It took me 15 years to come to the conclusion that most men probably weren't like that. It took me another five to actually tell anyone what had happened.


I’d also like to point you guys to psychofurball’s vid, Lithium
Like Rach, I agree: We should no longer be silent (even if the scumbags do get off).


Yeah, what is pumsae?


Here’s a quote from the article ‘Think Again’ that James posted:
I agree with this. Women need to take responsibility for their own inebriation. (I speak of them doing it themselves - not having drugs slipped to them.) (And no, I wasn't drunk.)

That is indeed a problem, Nancy. And such women do exist. A few years ago, when I was in London, such a case had just been discovered and people were upset, of course. I read about it in one of the more serious newspapers, and it was an in-depth article. The girl in question came from a conservative family, and when her brothers found out that she had been having sex they pressured her to report it as rape, because that way the family's honour could be salvaged.

This was, of course, a horrible case. You have to feel very, very bad for the boy who was wrongly accused. At least everybody found out that he was innocent, and if I remember things correctly, he was awarded damages, too.

But let me return to the 5% conviction rate for rape. Is it really probable that most of all the non-convictions are due to false accusations on the woman's part? Is it even possible that half or a third of them are false accusations? I just can't believe it. In Sweden, at least, rape trials are usually about giving the girl the third degree all the time, about questioning and doubting everything she says, to find out if she couldn't possibly be lying. I can't believe that a lot of women would really want to subject themselves to that.

In Elisabeth's story, Lois said:

In Sweden, many women have said that going through a trial so that their rapists could be convicted was like being raped all over again. I just can't believe that many women would willingly subject themselves to that.

I said that I read that in-depth article about a boy being falsely accused of committing rape when I was in London. I have been in London at least a dozen times, and I don't remember ever buying a newspaper and finding an article about a woman who was actually raped but who got no justice. (Admittedly, the article in the Guardian that I referred to in my previous post is just such an article.)

I've seen a documentary about a gang-rape in Sweden. The girl and the four boys were all sixteen years old. The boys were found not guilty, because it wasn't proved beyond a doubt that the girl had not been willing. The girl had been at a party, dressed in a short skirt, and she had been somewhat drunk. She had had a falling-out with a girlfriend of hers at the party, and she had left the party and tried to find a lift home. A boy whom she considered her friend had offered to drive her home, and she had accepted. Instead of driving her home, he had driven her to his own apartment, but not before he had picked up three of his mates. The four boys had taken turns raping her, but, you know, it wasn't proved beyond a doubt that the girl hadn't been willing. The documentary about this case showed four girls from the same school as the girl talking about the case. Three of the four girls agreed that the alleged rape victim had not been raped at all. She had definitely wanted it, because she really was that kind of a slut. The fourth girl expressed doubts. "If it had only been one guy it wouldn't have been rape," she argued. "But I don't think she wanted to do it with all four of them."

The closing scene from the documentary showed the raped girl sitting all alone at home, twisting her hands. "I just wanted to go home that night," she said. "My friend said he would drive me. When I got out of his car I tried to run away, but they caught up with me. One of them said he had a knife. I think it's unfair that I get all the blame... that everybody say I'm a slut... but... I'll have to live with that."

Ann

No, not at all.

Neither can I. That’s why so many rapes (and sexual assaults) still go unreported.

Interesting chapter. So the assault on the campus was a rape? It was kind of ambiguous, and Lois's later comment to Clark seemed to me like she was saying, "At least I didn't get raped this time, which actually has been done to me by guys who seem nicer than you." So basically, I need a bit of clarification. WAS whatever happened on campus in this chapter a rape, or an assault/attempted rape?

Thanks for your honesty, Ann. I know you're not alone in what you have said. I think Sheila has gone on the record more than once telling me that the Lois I've portrayed is too harsh and unlikeable. However, I couldn't see how a woman who went straight from the home Lois did to a war zone would display any soft spots. Since she also had been raped in the past I felt it would be extremely tough for her to let a guy like Clark past her defenses.

I also know that a few of you feel like my Clark is a doormat. But I knew if he tried to take her down a notch, she would write him off.

He actually told me that my bad guys were too nice. But I'm just a little nice girl and I can't write dirty words, so I chose to de-emphasize the conversation.

True, but you forgot to include the introduction. "Rumor says..."

Keri, I'm so glad you chose to comment on my story. I also appreciate you giving my characterization of Lois the benefit of the doubt.

I am so sorry. Words can't heal a wound like that. Fifteen years can't heal a wound like that, but I'm glad you have found healing none-the-less. I feel you have honored us by sharing this painful piece of your life.

I am ducking under the table for this one. I happened across a Korean website when I was looking for the Korean word for "no." I found their martial arts stuff fascinating. On their site they recommended practicing their pumsae every day. I should have known not to trust them when I realized they weren't using the English word for dojo.

Does anyone know a better word for ignorant little me to use?

Actually, that happened to a friend of my family when I was a little girl. He was a high school teacher who needed to flunk two girls who were friends. Failing this course meant a failure to graduate, so the girls decided to accuse him of sexual activity with the idea that they would graduate. Although he got his name cleared, he ended up moving several states away. Tragic.

Thanks for all of your feedback. I especially appreciate you, Ann, for sticking in their when you disagreed with the way I wrote Lois.

Just to reassure you all. I know this is an unexpected twist, but this is not going to turn into a rape story. This is still the story of just-getting started Lois and already established Clark. I just wanted to lay all the cards on the table concerning where Lois has been, as well as giving Clark the opportunity to come clean about a few things he's been doing, as well. (That's the carepack thingy, in case you're wondering.)

Elisabeth

PS And if you do know the proper English term, please, tell me. I don't want to be Korean. I live in the Midwest.

The English word for dojo? As far as I know, a lot of martial artists use dojo.

Then again, I only took two months' worth of karate lessons. . . . But I have seen all four Karate Kid movies.

Elisabeth was answering the other comments while you snuck your's in.

No, this was not a rape, it was definitely assault/attemted rape.

And yes, Lois's comment to Clark is exactly what you described.

So you can see why Lois is so harsh and tough and not very nice.

James

Thanks, James!

I think dojo is international. (maybe from Japanese?) Here in Germany we use it, too. And, yes, I have taken several years worth of karate lessons.

Well, her attitude is explained, but I think Lois needs some therapy. Her attitude toward men is awful, if understandable. Not all men are abusers and rapists. She needs to get that worked out in her mind, or she's crippling herself.

In answer to the other question, I've been in Judo, Ju jitsu and a little Karate, and in all of them we called our school a "dojo". In Ju jitsu we called the practice of our arts "kata". I have no idea what they would call it in the Korean system.

Nan

Thanks, Elisabeth. I'm not completely sure I've found healing though. I still feel a lot of distrust towards men...

Classicalla wrote:

I am a man. As a man, I can only respond with profound sorrow and apologies that you were wounded so deeply. Your response is normal, like someone who is shy of dogs due to being bitten by a friendly-looking dog at a young age. You are experiencing a perfectly normal defensive reaction.

But you can't heal by yourself. This is not a problem which responds to self-medication. You need to consult a trained professional (which I am not) in order to fully deal with these perfectly natural feelings.

And please, please don't mistake this advice as my saying that "there's something wrong with you." There is NOTHING wrong with you! You are not flawed, nor are you damaged goods! Your reaction is normal, and is in fact healthy over the short term. But you should not let it color all the relationships with males in your life.

I know a man who has been married to the same lady for more than thirty years. There have been times over the years when his wife's attitudes and actions completely baffled him. Sometimes she would treat him in the most horrific ways (they never fought physically with each other, nor did either of them ever abuse their children), and sometimes she seemed to be making up for lost time in the affection department. Only recently did he learn that her father tried to molest her when she was a teen, and did in fact molest her older sister.

This resulted in all kinds of crossed emotional wires for both sisters. Dad is supposed to safeguard and protect his daughters, but this dad broke that mold. An adult's primary perception of others in his/her life is based upon the parental images from early in life, established before launching out into the adult world. One direct result of this man's wrongdoing was to seriously damage the wife's ability to trust her husband (I speak of the original couple now). When they disagreed on an issue, the wife would sometimes allow the husband to believe that she agreed with his interpretation of the situation and then act in direct opposition to him. This made for some lively after-dinner discussions. And the irony is that she often didn't understand what the problem was. The problem was neither her nor him, but the leftover unhealed scars from her father.

You are a victim on this person's actions, Classicalla, just as much as a mugging victim or hit-and-run victim or burglary victim. And it's the kind of hurt that needs help to heal. Broken bones won't heal properly by themselves, and neither will broken spirits. I urge you to contact a qualified professional to discuss these feelings.

And I urge all of us not only to feel sympathy for the victims of sexual assault, but to actively promote a healthy atmosphere to strongly discourage potential predators. Don't laugh at smutty jokes when women are degraded. Don't treat women as sex objects. Don't dismiss any woman's complaint about a possible assault. Investigate it, or turn the complaint over to the police for investigation. And let's all remember that this world isn't always a nice place. We should be ready to lend a helping hand, but we should also be ready the clobber those who would destroy the weak.

[/end personal rant]

Wow, that was quite some speech. And I couldn't agree more with you. Especially with the last bit (since the parts before don't apply to me):
Well, although I am a woman, this is basically what I try to do in everyday life. But not only in regard to sexual assault. I'm usually the person who stands up when something bad happens to someone else. And most of the time I'm rather lucky and don't encounter any real problems. I guess I'm a good actor, being able to project a confidence I don't actually feel. But this act has saved me on occasion, I guess. It has happened more than once - when I was walking home at night - that a guy would give me the once-over and quickly act *very* disinterested when I stared back, my shoulders squared and my back straight. And back then I certainly looked better than I do now.

Something everybody - especially every woman - should do is learn at least some karate, or tae kwon do, or judo, aikido, kung fu, ... It certainly helps with self-confidence, self-defence and the 'right' body language.

Unfortunately they don’t always help.


Well, seeing as how I’m a nurse with psychiatric experience, no I don’t think that.


Well, thanks for the rant, Terry.

Wow this was such a powerful chapter. I'm starting to see how Lois is, like peeling off the layers of an onion...many many layers. I'm almost a bit intimidated to comment on it with what has come before me. Great part. I see where Lois is coming from. After the first chapter all I could think was, who hurt her? What horrors happened to her and/or what did she witness? No problems w/ anyone’s character. I like to watch everything develope and see why it all makes sense at the end. Oh, and of course hopefully watch those two hook up.

<<<<<<<Lois>>>>>>>>

Poor/yay Clark, but it has to be exciting to have something so wonderful occupying one's mind.

I always get scared when Lois goes out and does this, but I guess you have to make your connections!

My eyes went wide when Lois was attacked. I admire her strength to not give up and attack. Some girls I know would just faint or scream and freeze. I find that frightening.

I like that back and forth.

My heart warmed when Clark kept coming back, wanting to help or be there in some capacity.

As for the word pumsae, I've mostly seen it spelled like poomsae. It depends on how the word is translated. It means pattern or forms in English. Of course this word is used mostly in WTF Taekwon-DO. I think hyong...hyuong is used in ITF.

I was a part of a ITF school and yet we used poomsae, so I was really confused when I went to another Taekwon-Do school.

Of course, as said, kata is the 'equivalent'
in Karate.

One beginner form/patter/poomase is called Taegeuk 1. There are many branches of Taekwondo//Taekwon-Do, so of course this isn't universal.

and so on....from here.

and

and of course Wiki!!!

I was a part of a Taekwon-Do club for about fifteen years. Ugh. I left about nine years ago so I have forgotten A LOT!! I tried too many over the past 20 years and I don’t have a great memory so it mixes altogether :p . I’m very sad about that.

Nan, doesn't Karate rock?! I only did it for a few years ... then a break...then on again.

I never used to use the English terms for forms and actions in the martial arts I've learned. Only when I was a white belt or beginner in some I took part in did I say them.

The word dojo is Japanese and means 'The Way' or 'The Place of the Way' per my Grandma who is Japanese. The latter is a better translation...it is a place! Makes sence.

In Korean, the equivalent is Dojang and is used, of course, in Taekwon-Do.

A Kendo dojo is called a Noma dojo, if my memory serves me right...oh and I'm sure it's wrong!

Oh dear, I went off topic, but that is one of the reasons why I fell in love with Lois in this show, because she knew taekwon-do!!!

OOOOOOOOOOOH! There has to be another part buried in these boards!

I was in Judo for about 4 years when I lived at home and wanted to continue but when I had to leave home for nursing school the school had a ju jitsu school instead, which is close to judo, but is what judo was before it was turned into a sport. I found it was more fun even than judo and stayed with it. (This was also where I met my husband, who is a sandan in the art.)I've been in Dan Zan Ru ju jitsu ever since. I was only in Karate for about six months, when I moved to San Diego. Then I discovered that I was pregnant with my first child and had to quit <sigh>. I did enjoy it but after you have kids it's a lot harder to do the "fun" stuff when you want to. <g>

Anyway, "kata" is used both in Karate and ju jitsu, and means "forms", or "arts" which is how we refer to the various throws, chokes, holds and other techniques we learn in ju jitsu. Ju jitsu is practiced as an art, not as a competition, unlike Judo which is a competition sport.

This is also why Judo has a fair number of injuries -- unavoidable when you're competing. Ju jitsu, on the other hand, while not free of injuries has relatively few, and they are usually due to someone violating the safety rules on the mat.

Sorry to stray off subject, Elizabeth.

Nan

Interesting chapter. Makes me wonder if their relationship will turn a corner now or if she will be even more annoyed that he won't leave her alone. Frankly, if I had the history that Lois has, I think that I would view him as having stalkerish tendencies, too. A nice one, maybe, but he comes on very strong.