Another crazy idea I had.
-Vincent
Description: Wanting to know what makes her hero tick, Lois Lane secretly makes a video copy of Superman’s deepest, fondest fantasy, with the aid of a sophisticated electronic device. However, the results are quite unexpected…
Set in the first half of Season 1.
****
“uh…I’m not so sure about this.” Clark said nervously.
He was at the Daily Planet as Superman, after a Star Labs scientist, one Dr. Bernard Klein, had shown up in the newsroom begging someone to get a hold of him.
“But…*please*, Superman? It’s too dangerous to test on humans right now, and I just want to know if it can work!” Klein pleaded.
“C’mon, Superman. It’ll be fun – don’t you want to live out your greatest fantasy?” Jimmy encouraged.
“Be a sport, Superman! Help the good doctor test out his invention!” Perry added with a grin.
“Well, you wouldn’t actually be *living* your greatest fantasy. You see, the way the device is supposed to work is that the machine hooks up to the pleasure centers in your brain, and converts the fantasy to VHS format, complete with audio. So you’d just be watching the video.” Klein explained excitedly.
“*Please*, Superman? I won’t even put a tape in, Scout’s honor!” the scientist continued, thumping his chest. “It’ll be for your eyes only!”
Lois had been silent throughout this whole exchange, a thoughtful expression on her face. But now she perked up. “Oh, do it, Superman! You deserve a little fun!” she said.
Clark looked at Lois with an embarrassed expression on his face. Oh boy, something told him that he was going to regret this.
“Well, all right, doctor…” he reluctantly agreed, extending his arm to receive the VR helmet being proffered by Dr. Klein.
Jimmy, Perry, and Dr. Klein let out a simultaneous cheer, and eagerly started studying Superman’s face after he put the helmet on, to see if they could detect any sign that the device was working.
They were so focused on their task that they didn’t notice Lois sneaking to the other end of the machine, put a tape in the recorder, and press the “REC” button…
****
Lois practically tripped over herself as she rushed into her apartment, fumbling for the videotape. Dr. Klein’s device had worked, and she had managed to sneak the tape into her bag after Superman’s fantasy was done playing without anyone noticing.
She could have sworn that she saw a flash of guilt appear in Superman’s eyes when she looked at him afterwards and asked him how his fantasy had been. In fact, he had clearly been averting his eyes from her!
For the first time in years, Lois Lane had left work early, as the temptation to watch the video had become too great to put off any longer. If what she hoped Superman fantasized about was on the tape…
Immediately after locking the door, without even bothering to label the videotape “Superman’s greatest fantasy”, Lois plunked it into her VCR and pressed “Play”. A first-person view of the skies of Metropolis materialized on her television screen.
Ah, of course it would be in a first-person perspective. After all, the machine recorded fantasies as the fantasizer imagined them. It was like Superman was holding a television camera in front of him. Lois stared transfixed at her television screen as the view of the city dipped lower, to one of Metropolis’s many apartment complexes.
As Superman flew into one of the apartments, he called out, “Honey, I’m home! Boy, getting all of the nations to agree to world peace was a lot easier than I thought it’d be! Since there’s no more crime, accidents, or natural disasters, I think that pretty much takes care of everything!”
Lois smiled. How cute. Of course the world would be a perfect place in Superman’s fantasies. He was just that kind of caring, compassionate person. That was weird, though. For some reason the apartment he was in looked strangely familiar to Lois.
Then she saw herself appear in the doorway, and say in a sultry voice, “Well hello, sweetheart…”
****
Lois leapt from the edge of her sofa to her feet. “Yes!” she squealed, with a broad smile on her face stretching from ear to ear.
Ok, so she was a bit more clothed than she would have liked to have been, considering that this was *Superman’s* fantasy. Still, the black teddy that she was wearing on screen had unmistakably intimate undertones.
Lois gasped as she realized the implications. *Superman* fantasized about her that way. She would have to go out and get one of those. Maybe she would even wear it for him the next time he dropped by her apartment…
Lois felt rising tide of joy welling up inside of her as she anticipated making Superman’s fantasy a reality. She continued watching, more intently than ever now, as the fantasy continued playing.
As she saw, from Superman’s point of view, herself leading him into a room with a large bed, a thought occurred to Lois. Maybe she shouldn’t be watching this. After all, this was Superman’s most private fantasy. Maybe she should respect that privacy.
She shook her head to drive the unbidden thought away. Nah! She needed to watch this – for *intelligence* purposes. After all, she wouldn’t have known about the black teddy if she hadn’t started watching in the first place. Who knew what else Superman liked? It might be helpful to know some of that stuff if she was going to make him *happy*.
Then, Lois saw her television screen self mirror the smile that she was now wearing. She watched herself grasp Superman’s hand, and say, “I can make a man of you, Clark…”
****
“What???” Lois shrieked. No. She must have heard wrong. It couldn’t be. Superman wouldn’t fantasize about her…doing *that* with Clark. Yes, that must be it. She had just heard wrong.
“Oh, Clark.” she moaned on screen.
“Eep.” Lois gurgled as she hurriedly turned off the VCR. Ok, Lois, don’t panic. Stay calm.
Suddenly, she realized why the apartment had looked so familiar. It was *Clark’s* apartment. Oh, it looked a bit different in Superman’s fantasy than it did in reality – that was why she hadn’t recognized it at first. But now that she thought about it, it was *definitely* supposed to be Clark’s apartment.
Why would Superman fantasize about *that*? Men weren’t supposed to fantasize about women being with other men! Why would anybody do that?
Think, Lois! First, there was also the possibility that Superman fantasized about his two best friends being happy together. *He* might be selfless enough to want something like that. Lois felt a pang of despair. Why couldn’t Superman think about his own desires?
But wait a minute. Superman was also himself in his fantasy – he had been flying, and arranging world peace. It’s just that he was…also Clark. Lois then got another thought. Superman might want about her after all, but thought that she and Clark were an item, and didn’t want to get in the way. Maybe that’s why he fantasized about being Clark! That wasn’t unreasonable – they worked closely together, and he wouldn’t be the first one to make that assumption. Perhaps she would have to distance herself from Clark to show Superman that she was available…
Then again, maybe he just wanted *Clark* to be happy. Lois had gotten the feeling for a while that Clark might be attracted to her – maybe Superman had gotten the same idea. Clark was just as close to Superman as she was – maybe Superman wanted everything in life for his best friend, Clark Kent. He had always seemed to have an unusual amount of respect for Clark, especially considering how much of a dork her partner was.
Lois bolted upright as she thought of the most disturbing explanation yet. Maybe this had nothing to do with her at all. Maybe…Superman just fantasized about being Clark Kent, and just happened to think that she and Clark were involved. That would explain Superman’s attitude about Clark Kent – he had made Clark out to be some perfect human ideal, set him up on a pedestal, and admired Clark so much that he wanted to *be* him. Oh, why couldn’t he see how special of a person he himself was? It was Superman she wanted, not Clark!
Lois’s thoughts were in turmoil. Just a few minutes earlier, she had been so sure that Superman desired her. Now, she couldn’t be sure of anything. Grabbing a pencil, she decided to write all of the possibilities down so that she could try to make sense of Superman’s bizarre fantasy.
1. Superman fantasizes about what he thinks will make Clark and I happy.
2. Superman wants me, and thinks that I’m with Clark, so he wants to be Clark.
3. Superman admires Clark, and thinks that Clark wants me, so he wants me to be with Clark
4. Superman just fantasizes about being Clark
Oh, this was no good. There was no way to figure out what Superman wanted! Sighing, Lois decided to call it a night and think about it tomorrow at work. She would have to figure out what, if anything, it was about Clark that made Superman admire him so. She would definitely have to pay more attention to her mild-mannered partner now – evidently, there might be more to him than met the eye.
Lois sighed with disappointment as she buried her head into the cushions on her bed. It looked as if she wasn’t going to be buying a black teddy after all. However, right before she drifted off to sleep, she realized that that particular thought didn’t disturb her nearly as much as the possibility that *Superman* might be a *Clark Kent wannabe*.
****
<to be continued>
