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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814 |
Well....what do you think? Not sure whether this will be interesting or disappointing after the last chapter....
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 104
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 104 |
This is the second chapter in a row that has taken a completely unexpected turn...how refreshing!
I was all ready to mourn the death of older Lois, given that she had seemed to blink out of existence in the last chapter.
Fortunately for her, she reappeared...and found an unexpected series of challenges in her path. She lost her internship, was forced to survive the high school social scene again, and earned the fun bonus of repeating her first experience in the stirrups (Yikes!) in order to encourage her grandmother to seek medical attention. Then, all of a sudden it's six months later and she's in college.
This turn of events brings up all sorts of interesting questions:
What happens when she blacks out? Does young Lois take over or does older Lois simply fail to remember?
What happened to her grandmother?
What's going on with Clark? How did he react to her strange disappearance, and what will happen at the football game?
Now that she's lost her "in" with the Planet, how will that affect her future?
Chapters 4 and 5 were both fascinating (sorry I didn't review the last one), and I look forward to seeking where this goes next!
"Women frustrate men because they're too complicated. Men frustrate women because they're not complicated enough."
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
Oh, I am so, so glad the memory loss was temporary. But if it wasn't something in the drink, might this be a recurring problem? Nice twist to have Lois lose her position at the Planet. But I'm not worried. Aagh! It did happen again. Well, at least the time will go by faster.  But who knows what kind of weird decisions she might make during a blackout? Good chapter, Shayne.
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part!  Her father began. “You took your grandmother to get a mammogram last week. They found something.”
Lois felt her vision graying at the edges.
**********
“Lois? Are you listening to me?’
Blinking in confusion, Lois looked up. She felt a moment of horror.  Why she is forward in time? She could try calling?  She’d lost six more months, and she didn’t even know what had happened with her grandmother. Lois felt bile rising in her throat as she tried to swallow.
Being there for her grandmother had been important to her. If she’d made it, Lois wanted to have been a part of that. If she didn’t…Lois had wanted to wring every last precious moment out of the time they did have together.
“What? “ Lois gritted out. Linda apparently still thought they were friends. She didn’t realize that Lois knew exactly what sort of woman she was. Did she already sleep with the guy in college? Did Linda already steal her story? “Midwestern is playing Metropolis tomorrow night. Are you going, or aren’t you?”
Frowning, Lois wondered why Midwestern sounded so familiar.
Midwestern was a school in Wichita….the one that had given Clark a football scholarship.
“You couldn’t stop me,” she said. Let's hope Clark went to college and got the football scholarship? More ASAP, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702 |
Wow, that was unexpected. I find it very interesting. Can't wait to see what's really going on.
Jackie
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,065
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,065 |
Shayne! I totally missed the last chapter so I read both of them in one go. I loved it. I like the twist you have added. It is nice because it adds some suspense and it also makes time fly by faster for the reader and for Lois. I just hope she stops jumping forward soon. Maybe once she catches up with herself. ^_^ Keep up the great work.
Angry Clark: CLARK SMASH!
Lois: Ork!
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069 |
Great part, Shayne. It took her almost an hour to realize that she was near Metropolis.
She’d been driving in a fugue state for two days. Curious ... It'd be interesting to find out what happened in those two days from Clark's perspective. Is the fender dent proof that Clark followed her and kept her from serious injury? Maybe they spoke and Lois discouraged Clark from seeing her again (thus getting his future and her future memory back on track). She’d always been able to wrap Perry around her little finger. LOL, this is so Lois to expect everyone else to bend to her will, regardless if they know her or not.  What a interesting twist to have Lois mess up her internship with the DP because of her desire to see Clark. Love how she's building her portfolio by selling freelance. I liked how you showed Lois dealing High School -- petty, yet unavoidable -- and  Lois' job at Weenie World. It's stuff like that that makes me appreciate my grown-up job. I'm glad that Lois didn't permanently lose her future knowledge. Perhaps Lois will jump ahead to times in her life she most wishes to change. Maybe that's what took her ahead now - she successfully saved her grandmother or the diagnosis could have brought her family closer together. I can't wait to see what the next chapter brings. BJ
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
 This is *so* much better than what I'd thought.... the uncertainty of her blackouts mixed in with all Lois' fore-knowledge.... PERFECT! Who ever said that one could make things better by going back in time? :p
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Crazy, but I love it! I cannot believe Lois missed her interview at the DP. That was one *heck* of a twist! I'm glad she at least remembers she has to save Clark, even though it's a big botch job at this point. Maybe she should just sit still for a few years, but that's not Lois' style. <g> I look forward to what happens next.
JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Very interesting. Lois hasn't forgotten, but she keeps blacking out, jumping forward in time. Why is this happening to her? And how will it affect her attempts to save Clark's life, not to mention her ability to establish herself in this timeline and possibly have a future with Clark in it?
Ann
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Okay, so I couldn't stay away very long This continues to be intriguing, fascinating, and very well written. Whatever's causing the time jumps (and I think somebody got it right in the last comments thread -- she can manage small to moderate changes in her timeline, but when it's something huge, like meeting Clark or hearing about Grandma, her memories fail, and she returns to teenage consciousness) it's a very clever writer's trick to skip large time periods! Should keep her more or less on track, as the conversation with Linda shows -- future-Lois would *not* have been friends with her, but teenage-Lois was. Which doesn't explain why future-Lois re-emerged at that point, but I'll assume it was the mention of Midwestern that triggered something in that twisty little mind of hers Should be very interesting, as things progress. PJ so when's part 6, eh?
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