Forgive me if there are still typos in this, I stayed up late to finish it
Preface:
Well, I was going to finish part 4 of Identity Crisis, but then I got this idea and it just wouldn’t go away. As I was fleshing out the story in my mind, I realized that Lois and Clark needed a kid for it to realize its full potential. It would also help for “the secret” to be out to the world.
That made me remember the first series that I wrote, “Just a Normal (Super) Kid” – it would fit right in. The background story and character development would already be there. So, I thought, it might be a good idea to write a sequel of sorts, since there were a TON of things that an exposed super-family would have to deal with, which were not dealt with in that series. That was actually the motivation for “The Return of the Suit”, to wrap up one of those loose ends.
What really tipped the scales was Queen of the Capes’s comments on the original series about wanting a sequel. I mean, I just love just about everything that she writes, so I have to listen to her. Since I’m always thinking of things than an exposed Kent family would have to deal with, it was easy to sketch out a rough outline of some selected issues to link together in a series.
The problem was thinking up how to end such a sequel, and what the *overall* plot of it would be. (The first series focused a lot on Jonathan Kent’s outlook on life and what I think would be the most realistic particulars of Kryptonian biology and psychology.) But then, I realized that I would always be thinking of more and more issues for an exposed Super family to deal with, so it might not be a good idea to have an end or a master plot.
So, the tone of this series will be a bit different than the first. It will just be about various amusing experiences that the Kents have in a post-revelation world and not be as focused on Jonathan. Each part will be more or less separate, and I’ll just keep adding to it as I think of things.
-Vincent
Description: A brush with red kryptonite leaves Clark feeling…superior. Set in the “Just a Normal (Super) Kid timeline. Takes place right after “The Return of the Suit.”
****
*Dun Dun Dun DUN DUN*
Clark Kent’s eyes snapped open as he was jolted awake by his cell phone’s familiar ring tone. As he stretched out his arm to pick up the phone from the bed stand, he felt Lois shifting on top of him. With her eyes still closed, his wife sleepily mumbled something about needing her sleep.
“Oh, who could be calling at…3:00 in the morning?” Clark asked himself as he glanced at the alarm clock.
“Clark Kent speaking.” he answered the phone tiredly.
“Superman! There’s an armed break-in happening here at the Bank of America on 4th and Main in Newark, New Jersey!”
“What? I’ll be right there!” he said, whispering to disturb Lois’s sleep as little as possible.
With a long-suffering sigh, he gently slid out from under his sleeping partner, easing her off to the side as he got out of bed. Spinning into the suit, he flew out the window.
****
Clark grumbled to himself as he sped towards New Jersey. <Oh well, it could be worse.> he thought.
His greatest initial fear after the world found out was that criminals would try to strike at him through Lois. Instead, quite the opposite had happened. He had learned through his sources that pretty much all of the bad guys now considered “Superman’s broad” to be strictly off-limits. They were *far* too afraid of provoking his ire – he supposed that Batman’s saying that criminals were “a superstitious and cowardly lot” was correct after all.
Then, Clark started worrying that the fact that his identity was compromised might render him useless as a deterrent to crime. However, he had not counted on the sheer stupidity of potential criminals. Yes, they had all moved outside of even his hearing distance from Metropolis. But that didn’t protect them in the era of mobile communications technology - just about *anybody* witnessing a crime in progress could simply dial “9-1-2”, an easy to remember number that the telephone company had announced that they would be routing to his cell phone.
Well, people tempted to commit crimes would learn the lesson soon enough. But in the meantime, they were wasting his time!
Clark landed on the steps of the bank with a loud *Clap* just as two masked men were exiting. At the sight of him, they stopped short.
“Going somewhere?” Clark asked rhetorically.
One of the men quickly opened a lead box, revealing a glowing chunk of red kryptonite. The robbers nervously looked to see if it would have an effect that would prevent them from going to jail. They were disappointed.
Clark instantly recognized the red kryptonite for what it was. Alarmed, he quickly disarmed the masked men at super speed before hurtling the unpredictable substance into outer space. Praying that whatever effect the rock had already had on him wouldn’t be too troublesome to handle, he held the criminals until the police arrived.
“Superman! I heard on my radio that they had red kryptonite! Are you OK?” the first officer who arrived on the scene, a man of African descent in his early 30s, asked warily as he approached Clark.
“I think so. Here, take these two into custody. Clearly, they haven’t been bank trained yet. Why don’t you teach them some good behavior – in jail?” Clark responded lightly.
“Haha! Good one, Superman! Thanks for the help!” the officer grinned as he and his fellow officers escorted the men to their police vehicles.
****
Lois Lane yawned sleepily as she began to wake up. When she had opened her eyes completely, she realized that she was alone in bed. Vaguely remembering the phone call in the middle of the night, she frowned somewhat disappointedly before taking a quick shower and getting dressed.
Since it was a Saturday, Jonathan didn’t have to go to school, and neither she nor Clark had to go in to the office unless something big came up. As such, they had already planned to spend a quiet day together as a family. As was frequently the case of high school teenagers, Jonathan was sleeping in this morning.
Lois pouted slightly to herself as she realized that, since Clark was probably out doing something as Superman, she would have to fix her own breakfast. Well, she could pull her own weight around the house if she *absolutely needed* to! She’d have breakfast ready for Jonathan when he woke up, and Clark when he came back.
Deciding that she could multitask and read while she cooked, Lois went out the front door to pick up the morning edition of The Daily Planet. As she opened the door again to reenter, she heard a loud *whoosh* from the other side of the house.
Happily breaking into a big smile, Lois stepped inside and headed for the kitchen. She wouldn’t have to cook after all! Sure enough, when she got there, Clark had already put on an apron and started the stove up.
Seeing Lois enter the room, Clark favored her with a large grin.
“Lois, you brought the paper in! *Good girl*! Here, let me give you a double fudge choco-crunch bar…” he said as he put down the spatula he had been holding.
Lois raised her eyebrows at him. “Clark, what the…?”
****
Lois had quickly learned from the TV news that it was as she suspected – her husband had been exposed to red kryptonite again. Thankfully, the effects seemed relatively benign this time around – at least he wasn’t destroying the house.
“So, honey, did you get your green card yet?” she asked as she ate, pretending not to notice her husband’s odd behavior.
“I sure did! You know, most immigrants are lucky to get it six months after applying – it usually takes about two years! But the immigration office decided that for a high profile case like *Superman’s*, they could expedite the process and do next day delivery!” Clark answered with a grin.
“Oh, really? I didn’t know that it normally took so long.” Lois commented.
“Yeah! You know, you humans are *so cute* when it comes to organizing your societies! It’s *especially* adorable when they’re predicated on ethical legal and moral principles.” he continued, reaching over to pinch Lois’s left cheek lightly.
“Mm-hmm. Yeah, I know.” Lois said, smiling patiently at her husband.
“And you’re my *favorite* human of them all, Lois! I consider you to be my *best friend*. You do know that, don’t you?” Clark asked innocently, as he stood up to wrap his arms around his pet…er, his wife, in a huge hug.
Lois blushed as she nodded. “Yes, I know, honey.”
****
<Well, this actually isn’t so bad> Lois mused to herself as she leaned back against Clark’s chest. He had been fawning over her all morning, and she was rather enjoying her husband’s attentions. Oh sure, eventually she’d miss his usual personality, but since there wasn’t anything she could really do to speed up his return to normal anyways, she might as well enjoy it while it lasted.
She was sitting on Clark’s lap, with both of his arms resting on her shoulders. One of his hands was stroking her head through her hair, which he was smoothing out with the brush in his other hand.
As she closed her eyes and hummed a tune to herself, Lois heard footsteps coming down the stairs. When they stopped, she opened her eyes and grinned sheepishly at her son.
“Er…Mom? Dad?” Jonathan asked, confused.
Lois, having to make a serious effort to not laugh at the humorous and somewhat embarrassing situation she was in, silently mouthed the words “red kryptonite” to Jonathan. Clark continued brushing her hair, oblivious to the fact that he was not acting normal.
Jonathan’s eyes grew wide in apprehension. He knew how his dad could get when he was under the influence of that glowing red rock. It was rare for criminals to get a hold of red kryptonite – and even rarer for them to actually try to use it to pull off a crime, considering how unreliable it was as a weapon. Still, it had happened a few times over the years, and he had seen it cause serious, although thankfully very temporary, disruptions to their family life.
The last time his father had been affected, he had lured Jonathan’s mom into the master bedroom…and then proceeded to hold her captive there for *two whole days*, leaving periodically for only a couple of seconds at a time to fetch food and drink for his prisoner. Jonathan had been quite a case of nerves throughout that incident, fearful that his out-of-control father would do something that would hurt his mother. He had felt no small amount of relief when Lois finally emerged from the room after the effects of the red kryptonite had worn off, looking extremely tired but otherwise unharmed after the ordeal.
Jonathan quickly conveyed his understanding to Lois with a quick nod. They would just have to be patient and put up with whatever antics Clark came up with, just as they had done all of the other times.
“Oh, good morning, son! I didn’t notice you come in!” Clark greeted Jonathan cheerfully.
“Morning, dad. By the way, what are you doing, anyways?” Jonathan asked in reply.
“Well, can’t you see? I’m grooming your mother! Look, isn’t she *beautiful*? You can see how silky smooth her skin is, and how her hair has such a healthy sheen to it!” Clark said proudly.
Lois blushed profusely and winced apologetically at her son. Jonathan, somewhat amused, said patronizingly, “Uh, yeah. *Whatever you say*, dad,” as he shook his head and walked away.
Well, this was bearable. As long as his mom didn’t have to play fetch.
****
The Kent family was sitting together on the sofa, watching a movie on television, when Clark suddenly jumped to his feet.
“Oh my goodness, I almost forgot! It’s time to feed Lois!” he exclaimed as he scrambled to the kitchen.
The other two members of the family raised their eyebrows at his back.
“Wow, he just referred to you as if you weren’t just right here next to us. How long do you think this is going to last?” Jonathan asked Lois surreptitiously.
“I don’t know. This is actually kind of funny, though.” Lois responded, taking it in good humor.
Meanwhile, Clark was off in his own little world.
“Jonathan, if *you* ever get married, this is something you’ll have to remember. You’ll need to feed her three times a day, bathe her regularly, take her out for a fly to give her some exercise…”
****
“Ow! Paper cut.” Lois said as she cut a finger on her draft. She and Clark were working on their latest articles for the Planet’s Sunday morning edition.
Clark gasped and in an instant was on his feet.
“Oh no, baby. Did you cut your finger? There, there – it’s OK, just let Clark kiss it for you.” he said, reaching over to inspect the cut.
“Clark, it’s just a paper cut!” Lois protested.
“Oh, my poor Lois is hurt! But I know what will cheer you up – a pound of Swiss chocolate straight from the source!” Clark said as he ignored her protest.
Lois blinked in surprise. “What? Really?” she asked hopefully.
Oh, she knew that she could always ask her husband to get extravagances like that if she wanted to normally, but still, it was nice to be pampered sometimes. Besides, she needed to go grocery shopping, and it would be awkward trying to do that with Clark constantly watching over her trying to ensure that she had every physical comfort available.
“Of course, dear. Nothing’s too good for my Lois!” he chirped cheerfully as he flew off to Switzerland.
“Whew!” Lois breathed, heading for her jeep. Clark was definitely being overly attentive today, even for him. Sometimes she thought that perhaps he even cared too much.
As Lois turned the key in the ignition, she suddenly heard a *thud* beside her. She looked up to see Clark already back from Switzerland already. Uh oh.
Clark’s eyes went wide and he suddenly forgot all about the box of chocolates that he had just dropped.
“Oh, Lois, you wanted to go outside? Well, why didn’t you just tell me? Here, I’ll take you for a fly! I don’t want you wandering off without me and getting lost – now where do you want to go?” he asked earnestly.
Lois smiled ruefully. “The grocery store,” she said guiltily, as if she had been caught doing something wrong.
****
“Whew! I’m beat!” Clark proclaimed as he got into bed with Lois.
Lois smiled to herself. Clark had been practically tripping over himself all day to fulfill her every possible need or desire, whether real or imagined. Granted, it was kind of weird, but it was still sweet of him to do so. For once, red kryptonite hadn’t screwed anything up, she mused.
As Clark lay down on the bed, he closed his eyes to go to sleep. Lois wrinkled her forehead in confusion.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” she asked, tracing a finger on her husband’s chest.
“Oh, right. Good night, Lois!” Clark said, giving her a kiss on the forehead.
Lois frowned slightly and put on her best puppy dog face for Clark. “No, *sweetheart*. Don’t you remember? Before we go to sleep, we usually…play together.” she said shyly as she leaned in to him more.
Clark gasped, remembering. Suddenly, he wrapped both of his arms around Lois and hugged her tightly to him.
“Oh, Lois! I am *so* sorry, I shouldn’t have – oh, I don’t know if you can *ever* forgive me! I love you, and I should never have abused you like that! But…it won’t happen again! From now on, you don’t have to worry about that anymore!” he said contritely.
Lois opened her mouth in shock. Surely he wasn’t…
“But I *like* it when you abuse me!” she pleaded hopefully.
Clark looked pityingly at her, guilt etched all over his face. “No, no, Lois! You don’t have to say that to make me feel better about myself! You should be worried about your own feelings! You’re my best friend, and I don’t want to hurt you!” he insisted.
With that, he patted her on the cheek gently before lying back down to go to sleep. Lois, with a dazed look in her eyes, kept her mouth open in shock for a few seconds. Then she sadly let out a disappointed sigh, curled up next to her husband, and tried to fall asleep.
Why did red kryptonite always have to ruin everything?
****
Clark groaned as he woke up the next morning. He had the worst headache…oh no. Not again.
Bolting himself upright, he quickly took stock of his surroundings. Ok, so he was in bed with Lois, and judging from the state of their appearances…
“Lois! Honey, wake up! How long was I out of it? And why aren’t we naked!??” he asked frantically as he shook his wife’s sleeping form.
Lois mumbled incoherently before realizing that her husband had returned to her. As soon as she regained her senses, she threw herself into her husband’s arms.
“Oh, Clark it was *horrible*! You, you - treated me like you would a *dog*! You were so *inattentive*, so *uncaring*…” she sobbed.
Clark gasped as he reeled in shock. “Oh honey, I’m *so sorry*! I promise I’ll make it up to you! Oh…what did I do to you?” he cried as he begged for forgiveness.
“Well, actually…it wasn’t what you *did* do…” Lois began softly.
****
<Later>
****
Jonathan Kent II breathed a sigh of relief as he plopped himself down on the sofa and turned on the television. It seemed like his father had gotten over his exposure to the red kryptonite, and not a moment too soon. He had been needed at another bank robbery, and had captured another pair of criminals. Thank goodness he hadn’t treated *them* like dogs – it would have been embarrassing if Superman had threatened to have the bank robbers neutered or something like that.
As he flipped through the channels, something caught his eye. He quickly flipped back to the news channel that had just been reporting about the latest foiled bank robbery.
“And a bystander managed to get the whole thing on video! Watch!” the anchorwoman said excitedly.
Jonathan watched with interest as his father dropped down from the sky as Superman.
“Going somewhere?” he asked rhetorically. “The last bank robbers had red kryptonite, so I’m really not in the mood for this nonsense right now. I don’t suppose you two have anything up your sleeves?”
The masked men glanced at each other frantically. Panicking, one of them said instinctively, “Well, that’s a *bad* suit you’re wearing there, buster!”
Superman looked amused. “An insult? Well, you can make fun of my appearance, but you’re still going to jail,” he said as he seized the helpless criminals.
Jonathan jumped up in shock, turning off the TV as he did so. He replayed the scene in his head, disbelieving what he had just seen and heard.
*That* was the best comeback line that his dad could come up with?? But that was…so…*uncool*! Setting his face in determination, Jonathan clenched his fist with renewed vigor and resolve. He would have to do something about that…
****
<to be continued> in Just a Normal (Super) Family II: Bridging the Generation Gap
