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Joined: May 2005
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662 |
A wonderful part, and if I may say so, some of the more emotional and tearjerking prose I've read. Don't underestimate yourself Laura. And you know the story from there. To follow the theme of the story, You're lying, Laura. We know how the canon version went, but with different beginnings come different endings, which is why you must, I say must, write a sequel. I would venture to say no story, or at least very few, that are alt. beginning, are complete until they are engaged at least, but better yet. married.
I think, therefore, I get bananas.
When in doubt, think about time travel conundrums. You'll confuse yourself so you can forget what you were in doubt about.
What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence? I don't know and I don't care one way or the other.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Hey, I get props! Now if only I were young and hip enough to know what those were... Oh, it was an achingly sad section (sometimes I hate it when I'm right) -- the ending was hopeful, but I'd prefer an epilog that's happy You're a better writer than you think, Laura. Please do stick around and share more with us! PJ
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
Wordlessly, Lois lifted her hand and pressed it flat on his chest, over his heart.
“You’re lying, Clark.” Lovely full circle. And you know the story from there. I love this ending. Perfection. Except for the tiny little fact that this changes everything, so we don't know the story after all. Any thoughts on telling us the rest of it? This was a wonderful story, Laura. I'm so glad you decided to post it here. Don't forget to send it to the archive , too!
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Joined: Oct 2003
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Such a bitter sweet wrap up to a wonderful story. I couldn't imagine how you would have done it, but you did, without doing anything too contraversial. I said before that I wish Lois had told Clark about her situation but I guess that would have ruined the whole ending. Well done!
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Great job! Does it have to end here? Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 738 |
Sequel? Pleeeease.
Great story I loved it from the beginning till the end and the ending was great but I do wish to know how Clark reacts and how they deal with the ten lost years. How the Kents will react when Lois is back in Clarks life...
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,161 |
Definitely a sequel is needed because the premise you have chosen is different from the premise of the show!
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched they must be felt with the heart
Helen Keller
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Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
Wow. Ten lost years! And they accidentaly meet as Clark interviews with Perry!
Indeed, Laura, this is a bittersweet ending, but it's an excellent one at that. In all this time, Lois has never revealed her knowledge of Clark's abilities, so he knows he can trust her in that regard, but I wonder how long it will take for him to fully trust her with his heart again. Even a hurt this deep can be healed, but it doesn't happen overnight. And while you might be concerned that the ending seems rushed, please don't be, because this isn't the ending. As others have pointed out, the fact that she knows about his abilities and the fact that they already have a history changes everything.
And don't sell your writing short. This is an excellent piece of work, and I think it's better than some of the stuff I've seen lately that people want you to pay real money for. (I go to the library a lot and stand around in bookstores.) I sense a Kerth nomination next year.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
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Wow, I hadn't really thought about a sequel, but you are right in that I guess everything IS changed. I'll have to give it some serious thought and consideration... and... well... *squees* Thanks for the wonderful comments! I'm so glad I finally, belatedly found my way over here.
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292 |
Mind if I just link? more FDK
The only known quantity that moves faster than light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hey, if you ever write a sequel, I will so read it! I had read this story at ff.net and just loved it!
JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2007
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Johnny was a chemist, Now Johnny is no more, For what he thought was H two O Was really H two S O four. --Lab safety limrick--
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Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Nov 2005
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I've just read That Charming Smallville Hospitality on the archive, and may I say that I absolutely love it. I found this story late last night, and I was so hooked that I've already finished it before lunch today. I am really glad to see that I'm not the only one that disagreed with the last line. I'm so curious to see what happens next. For example, does Clark manage to get a job at the planet after walking out on his interview with Perry? How does Lois manage her hangups about office romances, given that she apparently still suffered from the attention of both Paul and Claude? And since Lois is "in the know", just how does the idea of Superman emerge? As you can see, I am ravenous for more. (Or maybe that's just my stomach growling for lunch... ) Is there any hope of a sequel in the works? Thanks for a very enjoyable night's read. I blame you for the fact that I am now both hungry and sleepy. ~C Noetal (who, among other things, is wondering just how Clark fit that massive lion into his suitcase... )
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020 |
I enjoyed the story. I am with those who would rather have seen Lois tell Clark the truth.
And why oh why did Clark not go to MetU? Or seek a job at the Planet years earlier?
If you do a sequel consider doing an alternate ending with Lois & Clark keeping in touch.
I still can't see how Lois could watch some news event where she could tell Clark had secretly helped out and still not contact him.
For that matter I was under the impression that in canon Dr.Lane did not pay for Lois's college education.
Framework4
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
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Ah! Imagine my shock when I see my old story brought back up to the top of this folder! Lol. Thanks for the comments. I still can't see how Lois could watch some news event where she could tell Clark had secretly helped out and still not contact him. That's true. I'm banking on her being so young that she was still intimidated by her father and/or... well... continue reading to see my note about plot loopholes I seemed to have conveniently ignored. For that matter I was under the impression that in canon Dr.Lane did not pay for Lois's college education. That could very well be true. I kind of fitted things to fit my circumstances. I wrote this story with no beta and thinking back on it, I really regret it. There are multiple loopholes and plot defects that I spot going through it again. I might try and rework it later or if I try and write a sequel I'll make sure I have a beta. I've never used one before and I guess I'm a little gunshy about the entire process. But I really appreciate you digging out my story and reading it. Especially when I read so many of your plot ideas on the fanfic challenge section and am continually blown away by the brilliance of some of them. I have a ton of half finished fics on my harddrive. Once I make a clearer start on them I'm going to try my luck with a beta. Adding a sequel or an alternate ending to this is going to have to go on my list of ideas. I am really glad to see that I'm not the only one that disagreed with the last line. I'm so curious to see what happens next. For example, does Clark manage to get a job at the planet after walking out on his interview with Perry? How does Lois manage her hangups about office romances, given that she apparently still suffered from the attention of both Paul and Claude? And since Lois is "in the know", just how does the idea of Superman emerge? Wow... those are some really fascinating points... I was kind of... well, not too inspired to write more, simply because I believed it would be a simple Pilot-esque rewrite with a few minor details. But you've posed some really fascinating questions and I'm definitely jotting them down to stew over once I finally finish the finals I should be studying for. (Just one more week! ) *shrug* I hope I can come up with something. Summer vacation is just around the corner. I have to work, but I should have a lot more free time. Maybe then I can actually do something with this long list of "possibles." Thanks for the comments, both of you! Laura
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon.
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Blogger
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Blogger
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I really enjoyed your story "That Charming Smallville Hospitality". However the ending seemed a little off to me. I can't believe that someone as smart and ingenious as Lois would not figure out a way to go to college without her father's help. Many young people today go to college without the help of their parents by taking out loans and receiving financial aid, scholarships and part time jobs.
I can't believe that Lois and Clark would break up that easily without one trying to contact the other all of those years. I guess I would prefer an alternative ending where they meet up a couple of years later, maybe in college.
Other than that, I love the story and was riveted from beginning to end. If you wrote a sequel I would love to read it.
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