Preface: This part, like the ones before it, takes place in 2014. So “8 years ago” means in the year 2006, and “now” means the year 2014. Other notes are contained at the end, as they contain spoilers.
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8 years ago
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“Mr. Iwata, I know that this is an unusual request, as your company generally sells its products through retailers. However, I was hoping that when the time comes, it might be possible for you to set one aside for me, as a personal favor. I would, of course, pay in full.”
The Japanese CEO was clearly appalled at the suggestion, and it showed on his face. He hastily made his position clear.
“No, no, Superman-sama! We could never dishonor ourselves by accepting payment from such a revered international hero! In fact, it would be our greatest pleasure to present you with our entire product line free of charge!”
“That won’t be necessary, Satoru,” Superman said, smiling as he placed a hand on the other man’s shoulder. “I just want a Nintendo Wii that I can take to my subterranean lair. It would give me something to do when I’m not out rescuing people, and it would be nice to have it on the day of its release.”
“Yes, yes, of course, Superman-sama! Forgive our shameful ignorance for not knowing that you were interested in video games!” Mr. Iwata apologized as he bowed repeatedly. “But, I’m curious – where would you have gotten the money, anyways?”
Superman blinked in surprise before quickly recovering. “Uh…well, I fly all over the world on a regular basis. So I cover a lot of ground on any given day, which means that with my enhanced visual capabilities I tend to find a lot of spare change just lying on the ground.”
“Ah, yes, yes, of course!” the more formally dressed man said in awe. He flashed a big smile at his visitor, before another thought occurred to him.
Frowning, he asked, “Uh, Superman-san - how will you use the Wii? Does your secret lair even have power outlets? And what about electricity – is it serviced by an electric company?”
“Oh, I have a generator that I use to power all of my electrical appliances. I just drill oil out of remote ocean areas when I need to refill it,” Superman responded.
“Oh, really! I didn’t know that!” Satoru exclaimed, amazed. “Ok, let me just clear this with technical. Takashi, I need you in my office right away!” he said, speaking through the PA system.
Moments later, the tech appeared in the office as per the CEO’s orders. Satoru quickly began chattering animatedly to him in Japanese. Takashi’s eyes widened, and then he spoke.
“But the circuitry isn’t designed to withstand sub-freezing temperatures! Uh, I mean, I don’t mean to pry, but…your lair *is* located in an arctic region, yes?”
“Uh…”
“But we can send some engineers to install space heating units! All you’d have to do is bring them there! Or, if you want, our company would probably be most willing to rent an apartment for you!” Takashi continued, glancing at his boss for approval.
Mr. Iwata clasped his hands together in excitement. “Yes, yes, of course! We can purchase a condo for you in any location you desire! Right here in Kyoto, or, if you’d prefer…Metropolis?” he asked, looking hopefully at the superhero.
“Uh…”
“Yes, you do Nintendo Corp. a great honor by showing interest in our product! Why, just think of the benefit that it will have for us! It’s the least we can do to repay you…” Takashi added, jumping back into the conversation.
“Uh…” Superman said for the last time, clearly showing signs of discomfort now.
“And that’s what would probably happen if I were to do what you’re suggesting!” Clark said emphatically as he finished illustrating the scenario to his wife.
“Oh, but you know how short supply is going to be! How else are we going to be able to get one for Christmas?” Lois asked despairingly, afraid of the response that she expected from her husband. He did not disappoint.
“We’ll camp outside Radio Shack over the weekend!” Clark declared cheerfully. “It’ll be some quality family bonding time!”
“Outside? On the pavement? In the freezing cold with all of the mosquitoes?” Lois whined.
“Lois, there are *no* mosquitoes this time of year! Besides, weren’t you the one who said that if you liked the scent of tulips from Holland, that *wasn’t* my cue to go ‘taxing down the runway’?” Clark asked rhetorically, clearly enjoying Lois’s discomfiture.
“But that was different! At least if we took a vacation to Holland, we‘d have a hotel, and a bed, and a nice shower…”
“You know that we can’t use Superman for our own personal gain!” Clark lectured happily, with a big smile on his face as he spoke in playfully condescending tones. Looking at his wife with an expression of pure innocence, he asked, “Lo-is, are you saying that it *wouldn’t* be worth it to spend just a couple of days outside so that our son can get what he wants for Christmas?”
Seeing that Clark had no intention of playing fair, Lois decided to save face. “All right, *fine*, you win! But you’d better be out there with us at all times whenever you’re not being Superman or using the bathroom!” she huffed.
“Oh, Lois, I knew you’d come around!” Clark grinned as he enveloped his wife in a big hug. “Besides, wouldn’t it have been kind of suspicious, Superman getting a Nintendo Wii, and then Lois Lane’s son suddenly having one? What if people put two and two together, and started asking what kinds of favors *you* might have done for *Superman*?”
Lois pondered Clark’s words thoughtfully. Hmm…it probably wouldn’t work, but it couldn’t hurt to try…
From within Clark’s embrace, Lois tilted her head up to lock her gaze onto his. Pressing the sensitive areas of her flesh more firmly against her husband as she leaned into him, she ran a hand across his arm seductively as she purred hopefully, “You know that I’d *do* those favors, too…”
Clark swallowed heavily. Suddenly Lois was escalating things - but she wasn’t going to win *this* time! What about family bonding? And using Superman to reserve a Nintendo Wii would be an abuse of power! Besides, as tempting as the offer was on the surface, she wasn’t really putting anything on the table – not anything that she didn’t already do for him anyways! He had finally realized that after last time…and the time before that…and the time before that one, too.
Clark groaned desperately as he clutched his wife even closer to him, devouring her lips with his own in a sensual kiss. Lois closed her eyes and let out a low moan as she reciprocated, wrapping her arms around him.
Eventually, Clark broke off the kiss and started working on Lois’s neck. After a few feather-light kisses there, he tilted his head up to whisper into her ear, “You’d better bring a sleeping bag, honey.”
Lois gasped indignantly as she immediately pushed away from him, freeing herself from his ill-gotten embrace. “You don’t really love me after all!” she wailed miserably as she looked pleadingly into her husband’s eyes. For his part, Clark stared back at her with his best puppy dog face.
It quickly became clear who was *not* going to win the staring contest. Lois tacitly conceded defeat in her own unique way – that is to say, she sulked. She fixed Clark with a very Lois Lane-like look before turning around and marching off in a very Lois Lane-like manner to head upstairs to pack.
When she was halfway up the stairs, she heard Clark call out to her back, “Honey, have I ever told you how *incredibly cute* you are when you’re pouting?”
Lois let out a strangled yell out of frustration, aimed at no one in particular. She was most certainly *not* pouting! And just because she was accustomed to being obeyed, it did not mean that she looked *cute* whenever Clark inexplicably decided to do things his way!
****
Now
****
“That’ll be $1789, Mr. Kent,” the clerk at the cash register said politely.
Clark winced as he pulled out his credit card. Ah, for the old days of family bonding with Lois and Jonathan, before the world knew that he was Superman.
“Er…just out of curiosity, Mr. Kent, what’s with the Ybox, the Playstation 5, *and* the new Nintendo system? One for each member of the family?” the young man inquired, confused.
“No Jared, my wife and I don’t play video games,” Clark began with a chuckle, “this is just to maintain brand name neutrality,” he explained.
Jared whistled. “Wow, that must get pretty expensive. I guess it’s a good thing that since you’re Superman, you don’t have to buy a *car* at least, right?”
“Yeah, thank goodness for that. I’d have a bit of trouble affording more than a couple of those!” Clark said ruefully.
Suddenly the clerk remembered something. “Oh, Mr. Kent! I totally forgot – my manager told me about a special discount that you could use!”
“A discount?” Clark asked warily.
“Yeah, our ‘Superman discount’! Where everything’s free for anyone who just happens to be Superman! So how about it, Mr. Kent?”
“Uh…no thanks, Jared. Really, I can pay for things just like everyone else,” Clark insisted.
“Well, suit yourself!” Jared said, shaking his head.
Clark sighed. Well, at least Jonathan would never be able to complain that his dad didn’t buy enough stuff for him.
****
“Hey, Superman! You’ve got a letter on your desk!” Ralph announced as Lois and Clark returned from their lunch break.
“Ralph, for the millionth time, you can just call me Clark,” Clark groaned as he pleaded uselessly.
“Yeah, sure thing, Superman!” Ralph grinned as he walked away.
The last 17 years or so had turned Ralph into a halfway decent reporter, but his personality still hadn’t changed one bit. He took great delight in bragging to all of his friends that he worked with ‘Superman and his wife’.
“So, let’s see what the letter says!” Lois said curiously as she prodded Clark in the direction of his desk.
It was a nice envelope – clearly, the sender had gone through some effort in order to try to impress. It contained a card of equally high quality, which Clark pulled out of the envelope.
“Mr. Kent, you and your family are cordially invited to be present at the 86th annual Academy Awards presentation, which will be held in…*Smallville, Kansas*??” Clark read aloud incredulously, for Lois’s benefit.
“What? Smallville?? Clark, this is *obviously* just a cheap attempt to try to get you to make an appearance,” Lois said sardonically.
“True, but it might be fun, don’t you think? Plus, it’ll give us an excuse to go visit my parents!” Clark replied as he thought out the possibilities.
“Well, I suppose. I know your parents seemed to be doing fine considering all of this the last time we visited them, but it might be nice to check up on them again. Besides, Jonathan would probably be interested in meeting some movie stars,” Lois conceded.
“Then it’s settled! On Sunday, we’ll fly to Smallville!” Clark declared, smiling at the prospect of seeing his parents again.
****
“So anyways, now I have a Nintendo, a PS5, *and* a Ybox,” Jonathan informed Ben as they walked through the hallway.
“Man, that’s so sweet! I bet your dad’s wallet is feeling it, though,” Ben replied thoughtfully.
“Yeah, I thought of that too, but it should be OK – both of my parents earn pretty good salaries. Actually, I think that my dad is more annoyed about having to watch what he drinks,” Jonathan said.
“Watch what he drinks? You mean like alcohol? But that stuff doesn’t affect you guys anyways, so why would people care if he drinks?” Ben asked, confused.
“Oh no, not that! I literally meant just *what he drinks*. You remember that claim by the Coca-Cola company that ‘Superman drinks Sprite’? Well, as soon as he heard that, my dad had to fly off to the grocery store in the middle of the evening just so he could be seen buying packs of Pepsi and RC Cola as well.” Jonathan explained.
“Man, being neutral must be tough.”
“I’ll say! But I think it’s dying down as more and more people are realizing that just because Superman likes something, it doesn’t mean that they’ll like it too,” Jonathan said optimistically.
It was true. In the immediate aftermath of the news breaking that Clark Kent was Superman, millions of people had rushed out to buy things that they thought would make them more ‘super’. However, it had quickly become obvious to most that walking around wearing fake glasses and eating lots of junk food was just kind of ridiculous. Pretty soon, Jonathan’s family would probably be able to stop buying multiples of everything.
“Also, did you hear? My family is attending the Academy Awards this weekend!” Jonathan said excitedly.
“Yeah, I heard! That’ll be so awesome!” Ben responded.
“Yeah, as long as I don’t get hit on by any actresses. Man, that whole thing with Jessica Alvers was awkward enough, and most of those actresses are at least in their 20s!
“No kidding. I mean, talk about ruining a guy’s fantasies.”
As they reached their history classroom, a student from inside suddenly swung the door open, catching Jonathan on the forehead.
“Ow!” he complained, clutching a hand to the spot where the door had made impact.
Ben stopped in his tracks. “*Ow*?” he asked quizzically, raising his eyebrows.
Jonathan grimaced and knocked himself on the head. “Argh! I keep forgetting that I don’t have to do that anymore!”
Ben looked at his friend in amusement. “Heh, I guess years of habits are hard to break, eh?”
“Yeah. Funny how acting unnaturally becomes kind of instinctive after a while.”
“Well, you might want to watch yourself in order to stop saying things like that. I mean, you wouldn’t want anyone to start thinking that your mom might have been cheating on Superman, would you?” Ben joked.
Jonathan was not amused at the irony. “Ha ha. Very funny. Man, I can’t believe that all of that practice is wasted now.”
****
<to be continued in Part IV: Smallville>
Notes:
The “Nintendo Wii” (the ‘wii’ is pronounced ‘wee’) is a video game console, or home entertainment system, or whatever you want to call it. It’s currently the most popular one out there, I think. Producers of such console systems like Sony and Nintendo will intentionally make sure that supply is far lower than demand when they first release the product, in order to create a mystique of desirability. So kids are often very happy to be able to get one for Christmas.
Also, I have no idea what the video game consoles will be called in the year 2014, so I just made some names up. The “YBox” is supposed to be a descendant of the XBox/XBox 360.
