Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Not As Thick As Some (1/4)

So what do you think?

Is my first foray into fanfic worth it or should I just go back to lurking?

Go back to lurking? Never! There is so much you can do around here. Writing, posting feedback (very important !!!! ) learning English... well you don't have to, I guess.

Let's get to your story...

I always wondered that Clark shows his strength rather obviously, but Lois never seems to notice. I don't remember Vatman too well, it was never one of my favorite episodes. But I think the scene that you described was in there. I mean the one where Clark is fighting back Superman. I liked that you used this scene to start the revelation.

Hey, if you go back to lurking, we'll lose a good writer! This is excellent! I always wondered why Lois didn't think it through when Clark forced the clone's hand down. There was no way the clone would have allowed a normal human to appear stronger in front of Lois, and the expression of "Aha!" on his face should have been a huge red flag for her.

It's tough being right all the time, isn't it, Lois? Cuts you out of a lot of human interaction. I'm glad you showed her accepting (to some extent, anyway) Clark's dual identity. Of course, this does change everything, so yes, you need to keep on writing! Let us know what happens from here, because everything has changed.

Changed for the better, we certainly hope, although a story line with no conflict would be boring. And if your first fanfic effort is any indication, more offerings from your word processor wouldn't be boring.

As much as I love the episodes with Tempus in them, did you really HAVE to copy the dialogue from "Tempus Fugitive" for the revelation-related arguments?

Other than that, this was a great fic. Keep writing.

This was well-done, and it is very promising. Because, with this revelation, everything will change. There will be no 'House of Luthor', I even doubt Lois will continue dating Luthor after this revelation. Which leaves the question of what will happen instead.

The way you described the confrontation between Clark and the Clone is very lively, and reading this I remember every bit of this scene in the episode. I think it's a great idea to start a revelation like this, an I especially love the pun at "Tempus Fugitive", although I think that the comment that Lois hasn't said anything since... (1866) isn't all that fitting. It would have made more sense to me if Lois had thrown Clark out and Clark had used that phrase the next day at the office.

Anyway, it's a great start, and I'm looking forward to seeing more from you.

Mellie

Yeah, I wondered about that scene too. I guess she could have rationalized it at the time by saying that a fake Superman wouldn't have his strength, but later on in the episode it was apparent that it was a clone with all of Superman's powers, including the strength.

Two very good points which proves that stories are always better if you're lucky enough to have a BR.

So time to edit. This is a good thing. I'm learning how to write my own dialogue.