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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
Okay, Sam, you've hooked me. Why are they in the past? It appears that they didn't send themselves, so who did it? Why are they relying on Wells to fix things? And why are they deliberately changing history? Even if Wells does fetch them "home" somehow, they've already messed up a very skittish Lois and a very puzzled Clark. How could anyone handle being "invaded" by their future self?
But I like the little thoughts from Lois as she editorializes her speech and actions. And Clark's nonchalance at changing history strikes me as funny.
But the story line changes you've introduced are most intriguing. They've managed to tick off Luthor, deflate Cat (one of my favorite underused characters), entertain Jimmy and Perry, and alter their personal history irrevocably. I wonder where you're going with this, and I'm going to stay close to find out.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Hey, great start, Sam. Your story is very original, and you've created a real mystery here. It's fun to see fourth(?) season Lois and Clark in the bodies of their younger selves from the Pilot, apparently trying to change history but possibly not being too sure of what the heck has happened in the first place, or who is behind this incredible time-travelling of selves and souls!
Fascinating! You've really made me like your Lois and Clark already. Particularly Lois. (Oh, there's nothing wrong about your Clark, it's just that your Lois has me absolutely intrigued.) Your story is witty and funny and very well-written, too!
Ann
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
Cool plot!!! 
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Joined: Jan 2007
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
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I loved it too! And as everyone else already said, I love Lois' inner voice. Very her.  Good job. Great story... awesome video... Pretty well rounded!
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Oh, gosh, this'll be fun... I'm glad *her* Clark finally showed up. They are gonna have a good time changing things -- and I love the bewilderment of the onlookers! "Did he just call her honey?" <snicker>
So when's part 2, then, eh?
PJ
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Oh I'm SO looking forward to this! I have to get back to working on my book, but I'm also in the ring ready for party two.  Keep it up! JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 450 |
Okay, posting schedule: I'll try to post once a week. I write my fanfic on the train to and from work which takes about an hour each way. Then I have to get on the computer and type what I've written. Pretty much, what goes on paper ends up on the screen. And may I say  I got people hooked!!!  I do have part two started but I'm not completely happy with it. What I wouldn't give for a BR right about now, she states with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
I was home eating chocolate—cottage cheese.
Chocolate flavoured cottage cheese. It's a new flav—
I was doing my laundry.
—Lois Lane
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24 |
Your story is very original, and you've created a real mystery here. It's fun to see fourth(?) season Lois and Clark in the bodies of their younger selves from the Pilot, apparently trying to change history but possibly not being too sure of what the heck has happened in the first place Actually, there's a pretty similar (so far  ) story in the fanfic archive, where a third season (I think ) Lois & Clark go back to seasons one and two, attempting to change the timeline. Time travel makes for an interesting plotline. snarla2
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 450 |
snarla2: The Persistence of Memory by Zoomway right? Or are you thinking of a different one altogether?
That story did influence my plot, but don't expect it to pan out the same way.
And that's all I'm saying. Can't wreck the surprise, now, can I?
I was home eating chocolate—cottage cheese.
Chocolate flavoured cottage cheese. It's a new flav—
I was doing my laundry.
—Lois Lane
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24 |
Yes, Persistence of Memory is the one I was thinking of.
snarla2
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