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Joined: Sep 2006
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Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292 |
Yahoo, you posted! Well, if we're going to introduce a splutter warning, you sure have to apply it to this story! My, did I get a few many laughs out of it! Miss Lane? Mom? I had forgotten about her. Now that I'm looking at her, she kind of looks like she's trying to disappear. She's moved closer to the door.
"Mom! Don't you dare run out on me!!! Good girl! Tell your mother what to do - or what not to do.  "De-delighted to meet you, Miss Lane," he stutters. "I'm Dick - eh, Rick Grayson." Dick again...  "I'm very glad to meet you, Rick," she says solemnly. "Thank you so much for taking care of my daughter. And please call me Lois."
Rick turns the color of tomatoes. How many shades of red does this boy have for his face? Guess he isn't going to call Mom Lois. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.comicguide.net/images/smilies/lolrot.gif) Well, he has just made the acquaintance of Mad Mom Lane... "Naaah - your grandparents have this really nice dog who kept me company in the barn. He kept me really warm, too."
Grandma is rolling her eyes. "Jonathan, I told you - old Timothy is no good as a watchdog."
Grandpa is grinning. " No, but he's very good at taking care of nice people!" Sweet bantering between the two Kents. Love it! I can see Mom's body turn to steel. Uh-oh. You'd think the sheriff would have learnt not to mess with my Mom by now. I can only hope she's going to survive the crash when Mom collides with her full force. As I said, Mad Mom Lane... Batman. Right. Oh boy. He's standing here, right in front of us. Right in front of me. I mean, how big is he? Is he seven feet tall? Eight? And how wide is that chest? Isn't it against the law to have a chest like that? And those arms... and those thighs... and... and.... Hey, that girl is only twelve years old! And already looking for those assets? My, was I a late bloomer... Look at that suit. It's dark gray, except it's kind of black too or even dark blue. And it's so skintight that - that it fits him like a c-nd-m, you know? Please don't think I know what anything looks like when it's inside a c-nd-m - I mean.... uh, it's just that the boys in my class always say... oh, never mind.... ![[Linked Image]](http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/l/lmao.gif) This is priceless! Stuttering about that sort of thing... But his suit fits him like a second skin, I'm not lying to you. Like it really was his skin. His muscles ripple right through it. You can actually see the veins running along his arms. The only place where his suit covers him up a bit better is between his legs, because you can't see if, if he, what he, uh, looks like right there, ehhhrrrmmmm.... Oh, my, where is she looking? She's much too young for that! Or is this what she wanted to do: ![[Linked Image]](http://webpages.charter.net/kylegdb/smilies/38.gif) Rick sure knows he said the wrong thing earlier. He's all red in the face again. Kind of sunset-colored this time. Bit streaky. Streaky? As in striped? The sheriff goes all white. Hmmmm. Stand her next to Rick, and then you just need to get someone who's blue with cold, and you've got the American flag. This one got me laughing so hard... ![[Linked Image]](http://home.no.net/birgif/glis/signs-yourock2.gif) Did I mention that there are just not enough lauhing smilies on this board? That should teach her not to lock up twelve-year-olds for no reason at all... I mean, totalling a shed, a car, some trees and a cell is something that could happen to anyone, isn't it? Oh, sure. Things like that happen every day. Unfortunately, people who do that usually get in touble. I have to look at her feet to see if there's a puddle there. Sure enough her shoes look wet, so she's either melting or else she's got a world record case of sweaty foot odor. I guess it could be just stinking feet, because I can smell her. Beware 'Eau de Sweat Socks'! There might be pheromones inside... ![[Linked Image]](http://www.drunkendonkey.net/eng/html/emoticons/giggle.gif) More like the sort of baby girl pink she didn't buy for me when I was a baby. Oh, but Uncle Perry and Aunt Alice bought me all the pink stuff I could dream of. That's so like Lois... Will he be really angry if I borrow Mom's cell phone to take a picture of him? Well, if you're Lois' daughter, you'll just find out. No need to check the water level first. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.comicguide.net/images/smilies/schwimmen.gif) Rick's the only one who looks unimpressed. "How the heck does he do that?" I whisper to him.
"Do what?"
"Park that thing where no one sees it?"
"Don't know," he confesses. I stare at him. A valid question. In the Batcave? Besides, I remember that once he got his tyres stolen, so, obviously, people (like Jason Todd) are able to find it. And then, BAM! The car is there!!! I can see it!!! Just like that! Just like it popped in out of nowhere! I sceam and I jump ten feet straight up in the air, I swear I do.
And then Batman is behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. And I scream louder than ever and jump clear over the barn. Then I guess I bounce and come back to where Batman is, and the Batmobile.
I land on top of the Batmobile, too. On the shiny black roof of it. Wouldn't you know I dented it a little? She really has to stop jumping. 
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Joined: Nov 2006
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 99 |
Hehe, Batman turning James Bond props into working gadgets. Priceless!
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
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and the next moment he's holding me, and I'm drowning in the feeling of his arms around me and in the warm sort of earthy smell of his chest. Aww.... Jonathan’s just a big teddy bear. The way they hug me, it's a good thing I don't need to breathe.  I feel wild and crazy, so I wallpaper him with kisses all over his face. Romance in the making... Rick turns the color of tomatoes. How many shades of red does this boy have for his face? Shades of red. Cute, Ann. god of thunder suddenly strikes us with his hammer. Or something like that. Thor, the Batman. "Bruce???" Rick squeaks weakly. Then he turns beet red and whispers, "I mean... uh...." Snorting in laughter. Oops. that it fits him like a c-nd-m, you know? I almost spit coke on my computer screen. My, my, but Clara is a bit precocious to know these things, isn’t she? Oh, well, okay, she’s going on what she’s heard.... The only place where his suit covers him up a bit better is between his legs, because you can't see if, if he, what he, uh, looks like right there, ehhhrrrmmmm.... You have so captured the things on the mind of a 12 year old girl. Is this the age that you teach? Kind of sunset-colored this time. Bit streaky. More shades of red - orange - pink - maybe a little blue thrown in. Oh, Ann, you have quite the flare for comedy! and I swear he's winking at me, and I can see the white emptiness of his eyes twinkle. A little xray vision kicking in. And she and Grandpa walk over to a battered old tractor parked outside the sheriff's station. I can't believe it - that's their tractor? They came here in that thing? They came all the way to town in a tractor! More laughter! And Batman’s going to fix their car! He always parks it round a corner. But when you look round the corner, it's never there. Camouflage! (Uh... no, cloaking device. Romulans, anyone?) We're like pearls on a string of a very odd necklace, with Grandma and Grandpa leading the way in their old tractor, then Batman following in the Batmobile, then Mom following in her rented Ford, and finally Rick and I making up the rear on Batman's motorbike And as slow as tractors go, what a spectacle they must be making! Where is he now? Where is my Dad? Yes, where is he? My anti-dent spray has worked wonders before." Ant-dent spray!!  Wonder if that works on Harvey Dent, too? I just stare at him. "You're joking!"
"Yes," he admits, and those white hollows of his eyes twinkle. "But I do know how to fix that dent, never fear." Darn! He was joking! So instead of eating more pancakes Batman cuts a small slice of Grandma's apple pie and puts it on the tiniest plate on the table. He pours some custard on top of it and starts eating with a miniature teaspoon. Hmmm.... Custard on apple pie... That’s a new one on me. But the idea of Bats dripping it on himself is hilarious. I’m surprised Batman isn’t taking exception to the pics. Then there's a knock on the door. Ah-ha! And who might that be? Oh, Ann, I loved this part of your story. I just loved it. And I laughed and laughed and laughed!! Mad Mom Lane! Cute Mellie. And hey, when I was 12, I was definitely looking for ‘assets’ but probably more out of curiosity. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.elferteam.de/Forums/Smilies/marsa37.gif) Okay, so it's not the Batmobile, but it does disappear!
~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part!  This jumping habit is too much. I run off to get Mom's purse and her cell phone, and then I'm taking pictures like crazy so the kitchen is flashing like the fourth of July fireworks display.  This Batman is out of character is more like Clark.  Don't put Lois and Bruce in Love! I run off to get Mom's purse and her cell phone, and then I'm taking pictures like crazy so the kitchen is flashing like the fourth of July fireworks display.  Did Batman let her takes pictures? Then there's a knock on the door. Probably is Rachel with the bill with or Alfred to take the bike? Sometime Clara seems to be telling a story. More ASAP, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
Hysterical, Ann; absolutely hysterical. I have three daughters, and my middle one was just as worldly at twelve as Clara, unfortunately. Clara is definitely Lois Lane's daughter.
Can't wait to see who's at the door!
Nan
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Ahhh, thank you all for all that lovely feedback!!! So how long will it be until I post the next chapter? Well, possibly I'll manage to do it within the next two weeks, but I don't promise anything. If not, you may have to wait until Easter!  Ann
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Joined: Jun 2006
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166 |
Hmmm.... Custard on apple pie... That’s a new one on me. That's how we eat it in Sweden. Doesn't everyone? Eh... No. Sometimes, we put ice cream on it. I've even heard of melting cheese on it. But not custard.
~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Apple pie and custard is a very common dish here in the UK, too. In fact, I think more apple pie is eaten with custard than with ice-cream, although both are common. I've never heard of apple pie with melted cheese (and currently my personal tastebuds are very grossed out by this fact ) but, hey, to each their own!  LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
Oooh, yeah, hot apple pie with a tiny slice of cheddar cheese stuck under the crust so it melts. OMG!
Seriously.. feedback. I barely have a second to think today and I just found out that we're having supper at the in-laws tonight, so there goes my entire evening. *sobs*
But... I did read the story and I laughed and I really loved it! I will be back as soon as I can and leave actual fdk that's worthy of being called that.
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292
Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292 |
And Mad Mom Lane! That had me laughing so hard!!! Glad I could give you a laugh, too. Hmmm.... Custard on apple pie... That’s a new one on me. That's how we eat it in Sweden. Doesn't everyone? Eh... No. Sometimes, we put ice cream on it. I've even heard of melting cheese on it. But not custard. Well, I know it with vanilla ice cream and with whipped cream - but with custard? I think I'd like to try that some time. What I can't imagine, though, is eating it with cheese. 
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166 |
I've never had it with cheese either, but I have heard of it...
~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
I've never had it with cheese either, but I have heard of it... Come visit me - I'll serve you some. I'm sure you're going to LOVE it!
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,269
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2004
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Yay, so happy to see this post. Is that Clark at the door? Although why he'd knock is beyond me.....
Love Batman and Rick....D/Rick!
Chris
"Together we are stronger than each of us is apart"
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
Okay - I'm back! And here is some real FDK. And I look up from him, and right beside him is this fairy grandmother sort of granny, the kind you'd run to for apple pie or for comfort when you've stubbed your toe. That was so sweet. I love that description!! I feel wild and crazy, so I wallpaper him with kisses all over his face. wallpaper him - that was SO cute!!! We all stiffen. That voice. Talk about commanding. Talk about... talk about....
"BATMAN??!!??" Mom, I and the sheriff scream simultaneously. Weeee!! Batman! *yay* Batman. Right. Oh boy. He's standing here, right in front of us. Right in front of me. I mean, how big is he? Is he seven feet tall? Eight? And how wide is that chest? Isn't it against the law to have a chest like that? And those arms... and those thighs... and... and.... AH! Batman is *nothing* compared to Superman. Trust me.  The only place where his suit covers him up a bit better is between his legs, because you can't see if, if he, what he, uh, looks like right there, ehhhrrrmmmm.... Better not let her wander in the motivational posters thread!!! Where is he now? Where is my Dad? Yeah... come back, Clark! Please? Batman sighs again. "Well, I'm aquainted with a man who has constructed several advanced props and devices for James Bond movies. He showed me a prototype for a cloaking device, which however wasn't working properly. He gave it to me, and I improved it." Q! Weee!! Desmond Llewelyn, I hope, huh? Not John Cleese? "My anti-dent spray has worked wonders before." Hilarious!!! Just as funny as their shark-repellent from the old 60's movie. hehehe! Then there's a knock on the door. That can't be Clark, can it? He wouldn't knock, right... it's his parent's place... I still hope it's him!!! Nice part, Ann! I really enjoyed it!
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 52
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
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Shelley
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