Well, here it is
.
Another huge thanks to Lara. She wrote a lot of dialogue for this chapter, and while I only used some of it, and did quite a bit of tweaking, it helped me out *so* much. You're wonderful, Lara!
TOC ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From Part 2: “It’s just that it’s hard to figure out what the right answer is when you’re being so cryptic, Clark. I really do think you should go with your instinct, though. I mean… yours are better than mine in that department anyway, you know?”
If this was about Mayson – and although Lois hoped that Clark wasn’t trying to decide between the two of them, because that would mean he was actually really interested in that… that… pain in the… – she knew that asking her about advice on love was a bad idea. After all, what did she know? All her previous relationships had ended in federal disasters! Who was she to advise anyone on matters of the heart?
“They are?” he asked, his tone dubious.
She sighed. “Look, Clark,” she said, finally, hating the fact that she needed to spell it out for him, “I honestly don’t think I’m qualified to offer advice on relationships. Besides, you’re the only one who knows which of these two women you’d rather be with. If you don’t, then maybe neither of them is right for you. Or at least, you could try asking them - not me.”
Suddenly, Lois found herself hoping that this is just what he was doing. Asking her. Maybe it was a test to find out whether or not she had any interest in him. And maybe she’d just given him a wrong answer? What if that wrong answer were to push him towards Mayson? Panic rose inside her and Lois felt a strong urge to run away, as if that would solve anything.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Through a Glass, Darkly
Chapter 3Clark stared at her in open-mouthed surprise – Relationships? Women? What on Earth was she talking about?
Lois was looking increasingly like a trapped animal, and it struck him that if he didn't say something soon she might just bolt. He quickly reviewed the conversation in his head, wondering where it took such a wrong turn.
“Oh.” His eyes widened marginally. “I wasn't...I mean...this wasn't about women. It's uh...it's something else.”
Her hunted expression deepened, and when she squirmed next to him he was almost sure she would run for the door. “I'm sorry. I don't know why I thought...”
“No, that was my fault,” he hastened to assure her. “You're right, I was being cryptic.”
“Yeah, you were,” she said, the embarrassed look on her face shifting into something more like annoyance. “What else was I supposed to think?”
Clark couldn't suppress a small smile. That was his Lois; her ability to channel any threatening emotion into anger still left him awed – and sometimes a bit frightened. The expression on her face suggested there was nothing to smile about, and he quickly swallowed any signs of amusement.
“I don't know what else you were supposed to think,” he admitted, appropriately somber now. “I don't really know how to go about saying any of this.”
“Why don't you start with the truth?”
Truth. He cringed at the word. She made it sound so easy. The fact was he hadn't started with the truth. He had been lying to her from day one, and now – at a time he needed his best friend the most – his lies were isolating him more than ever.
If he was going to leave for New Krypton, he had to tell Lois the truth. That much he had known since Zara and Ching had come to him for help, but knowing that and actually telling her were two different things. There were all the old reasons for keeping his secret – Would she hate him? Would she ever speak to him again? If she found out he was Superman would she ever see him for just Clark? - and now, on top of that, he had to wonder how she would take being informed that he was Superman and that he was possibly leaving the planet, in one fell swoop. Could he do that to her?
Could he not? Could he take away her hero and her friend and only leave her with whatever fabrication he gave the rest of the world? Could he do this without her input, her help? She deserved the truth and right now he needed the full support and understanding of the people he cared for most. Right now, both of those things were more important than whatever fears he had about coming clean with her.
“The truth is,” Clark started matter-of-factly, then his voice wavered and he felt some of the words catch in his throat. “Superman may be going to New Krypton and, if he does, I'm going along with him.”
That was the truth, wasn't it? Yes, but not nearly enough of it, he reprimanded himself. She needed to hear everything. He tried to clear away the lump that had formed in his throat, but it wouldn't budge. He was sure he was going to suffocate if Lois didn't speak, move, do something, soon.
Instead, she sat there, nothing registering in her expression, showing no sign that he had even spoken. He began to wonder if he had said something or if he had become delusional and imagined the confession in a moment of panic.
Just when he opened his mouth to try to choke it out again, she spoke. “What is New Krypton?”
He blinked in surprise, floundering for an answer to her question. Whatever he had been expecting for a reaction, that hadn't been it. “It's...uh...Apparently there were others who survived the destruction of Krypton. They settled on a new planet, and...um...now they've come to ask Superman's help with something. Without him a civil war may break out.”
Lois leaned away from him with a scowl. “Why wouldn't he go? And what does any of that have to do with you?” she demanded, sounding more upset by the second. Clark could tell she was quickly working up to that 'frightening' stage.
He opened his mouth to respond but she cut him to the chase, hopping up from her place next to him. “If he wants the story, Perry can send a foreign correspondent, but there's no reason for you to go!”
“It's more complicated than that,” Clark protested. “If he goes, I'm going. Lois, I—”
“Then it looks like your decision is made, Clark,” she said, a dangerous edge to her voice.
He sighed heavily, wondering how he was supposed to tell her if she never let him speak. He cringed. If he thought she was angry now, he could only imagine what the explosion would be like if he ever got the words out. “You don't understand...”
“I understand perfectly.” She threw back sharply. “This is like the heat-wave all over again. You just keep choosing him over me! So go, follow your idol, but don't expect me to be waiting here for you!”
He was taken aback by the implication of her words and the vehement emotion behind them. Lois wasn't acting like someone losing just a friend. She sounded like she was losing something much more – someone she cared for very deeply... and it wasn't Superman she was worried about. It was Clark.
He didn't have long to reflect on that. She was gathering her things and making for the door at a pace that nearly put super speed to shame. He jumped up to intercept her at the steps, gently taking her arm to get her to face him.
“I'm not following him. Superman can't be anywhere if I'm not there too,” he tried to explain calmly. If he was going to tell her, he wanted to do it gently, not in anger.
“Oh, please!” Lois jerked her arm out of his grasp, frowning up at him. “That's ridiculous, Clark.”
“No, it's not. If he's somewhere, then I'm there too, and vice-versa. There's no other possible way.”
She stared at him like he was crazy, then shook her head. “You're not making any sense.”
“Lois.” Words failed him, so he reached up to remove his glasses.
He waited breathlessly for the flare of recognition in her eyes, but it didn't come. “Lois...” he repeated, barely more than a whisper. This was it – no more secrets, no more lies...no going back.
His hands came up, gripping the edges of his shirt and pulling them apart to expose the symbol of truth underneath. “I
am Superman.”
TBC
