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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Whee, there's a twist... H.G. Wells is there, but he's not gonna be able to fix it. And L&C are expecting? It's gonna look like Clark knocked her up within a week of meeting her  I really do like watching the two of them here -- I've read other stories about jumping back into younger bodies, but usually it's just one of them at a time, like S4 Lois interacting with the clueless younger Clark. I really like seeing both of them; I like the solid togetherness -- especially in context of the pilot. That's been rewritten a few times, too  but it's always been a getting-together story. This "two against the world" stuff is fun! Looking forward to the next section! PJ
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
Wow! My favorite line Quite proud of the fact that... Daddy didn’t hear. Wells' description of Lois and Clark's 3-year old was adorable. I am a little confused though, what do the dialog in italics mean? Do they represent thoughts or..?   
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 450 |
Originally posted by AnKS: I am a little confused though, what do the dialog in italics mean? Do they represent thoughts or..? Yes, the italics represent Lois's thoughts. Was anyone else confused by that? Should I put a key at the top of the story?
I was home eating chocolate—cottage cheese.
Chocolate flavoured cottage cheese. It's a new flav—
I was doing my laundry.
—Lois Lane
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
I got the thoughts in italics, because I'm used to seeing stuff like that. But you will need some other device or marker when you send it to the archive, because you can't put italics in a plain text file.
This, of course, assumes that you will finish the story and archive it! I certainly hope you do both. This is a very interesting twist on the beginning, and I anticipate a lot of changes coming up very soon.
Whoa. Lois is already pregnant? Tank will hate that.
But, for what it's worth, I don't.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10 |
Interesting premise. I like Pilot rewrites, when Clark and Lois get together in the beginning. And is Lois pregnant? Wow, they didn't waste any time. I'd like to see like Perry, Jimmy and Cat are going to react to the news. Mad Dog Lane pregnant by a hack of nowheresville? Quite proud of the fact that... Daddy didn’t hear. Cute girl. “And don’t be surprised if it... changes.”
“Changes?”
“Well, that photo won’t be taken for another three years. Anything could happen in that time.” Uh-oh. I don't like it. What is going to happen?  Whoa. Lois is already pregnant? Tank will hate that. LOL!  Andreia
"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."
~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
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Very interesting. I'm looking forward to reading more!
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Joined: Mar 2007
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 450 |
Originally posted by Andreia: “And don’t be surprised if it... changes.”
“Changes?”
“Well, that photo won’t be taken for another three years. Anything could happen in that time.” That depends. How epic do you want this fic? At the rate I'm writing ... 2 parts over 12 hours ... this could get seriously long. 
I was home eating chocolate—cottage cheese.
Chocolate flavoured cottage cheese. It's a new flav—
I was doing my laundry.
—Lois Lane
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
I, too, love this premise - the older, married Lois and Clark in the bodies of their young counterparts! And Lois is pregnant already? I don't know, but I always get a kick out of seeing her get pregnant (well, with Clark's child, of course). Anti-Tank, I suppose! I really look forward to the rest of this story! Ann
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10 |
That depends. How epic do you want this fic? At the rate I'm writing ... 2 parts over 12 hours ... this could get seriously long. I *love* epics. Since Lois and Clark are together, you can do it seriously long. I'm not going to complain.
"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."
~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2004
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Okay, you've caught my attention. Great beginning to what looks to be a very intriguing story. I really shouldn't be reading anymore stories right now, I'm having a hard enough time keeping up with the ones I've been following as it is.  But I couldn't help myself.
Silence is golden.
Duct tape is silver.
~Saw it on a T-Shirt.
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
Hey, this is a really fun story! I'm sorry I missed it when you posted it first. Definitely looking forward to seeing the next parts of it!
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Speaking of which... Sammy, where *is* the next part of it?
PJ
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 450 |
Don't worry, PJ, the next part is on it's way. Just have to get it back from my new BR (wave Olympe). Unfortunately, the story may not be weekly as I had promised originally. Perhaps fortnightly would be better. Olympe is ten hours behind me so essentially my day is her night and vice versa.
But don't worry, the part is completed and Olympe will hopefully give the go ahead within the next 24 hours. My fault, I just sent her last version at 1am her time. >_<
I was home eating chocolate—cottage cheese.
Chocolate flavoured cottage cheese. It's a new flav—
I was doing my laundry.
—Lois Lane
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