Thanks to LaraMoon for the betareading and the nice feedback to this part. *hugs* TOC From Part 16“Take care of any passersby. I don’t want any witnesses, at least not before we are sure we have the right amount of *danesium*.” Danes shot his friend one of his famous intense glances and awaited the other’s nod. As he received it, he smiled with content and waved at the two men who were still sitting in front of him. The meeting was over.
Serendipitous Infinity
Part 17Clark wandered through the snow. Becca was sitting on the sled and enjoyed being dragged along by her father. It was freezing cold outside and Becca did her best to hide that she was shivering like a leaf. At least she didn’t complain about the cold, knowing that Clark would tell her to walk beside him in order to get warm. She just did her best to look rather pitifully from time to time when he shot a glance at her, smiling at him with blue lips. Then he usually smiled back, lowered his glasses and warmed her up with a beam of heat vision. That was far more comfortable than having to walk, plus it was more effective.
While Becca was enjoying herself immensely, Clark’s mind was busy thinking. He had absolutely no idea whatsoever how he was going to tell Becca about the new situation with Lois. He shouldn’t have promised Lois anything. Now that she knew the truth, it became more difficult to lead her on. When he still had been able to claim that protecting his secret served as a valid excuse for several minor lies and broken promises, it had been easier. But it wasn’t only Lois who deserved his complete honesty. It wouldn’t be fair to Becca to keep this to himself longer than necessary.
Clark’s train of thought was interrupted by something hard that hit him in the back. When he turned around another snowball landed right in the middle of his chest. Becca grinned at him her lips still very blue. She already held the next snowball in her hands and she threw it in his direction a moment later. Clark ducked away instead of warming her up again. He was slightly surprised by her boldness. She usually didn’t start a snowball fight before they had had breakfast. Clark didn’t know if this was because she dreaded that he would make her wait for their picnic. Maybe she was usually just too cold to put her hands into the snow. But his little whirlwind looked rather cold now, so this couldn’t really be it. Or she had figured that a little chase would warm her up more efficiently than a beam of heat vision could? Nevertheless, he accepted the challenge and gathered some snow on the ground. His snowball was bigger than Becca’s. It deliberately missed her by a couple of inches. Becca laughed and threw another one at him.
“Missed me, missed me!” she shouted teasingly. Her face became a little flushed, replacing the unnatural shade of blue on her lips.
“Just you wait!” he replied and moved a couple of steps closer to her. Becca left the sled to run away, Clark a few paces behind her. Though he very much tried to give her a chance, he was soon too close to her. He couldn’t but grasp her. “Got you!” he stated and lifted her up easily.
Becca squealed in protest, though she undoubtedly was having a lot of fun. He simply loved the sound of her giggles as he swung her around a few times. Then he set her back on her feet again. Her feet had barely touched the ground that she ran off once more; looking over her shoulder to make sure that her daddy was following her. He wasn’t. Instead, another snowball was flying after her, hitting her back almost softly. Becca turned around and defended herself, without being too successful. She couldn’t throw well enough and didn’t reach Clark.
That hardly diminished Becca’s motivation, she only had to change her tactic. Knowing that she would reach her goal if only she was closer, she approached him again. She obviously had forgotten about the fact that the main purpose of running away was to be not close to him. A little later, he had caught her again and swept her up in his arms. But perhaps this was exactly what she had hoped for, it was difficult to tell and assumingly Becca wasn’t so sure about this herself.
“You are my prisoner now,” he stated grinning. But Becca knew where the strongest man in the world was ticklish. He winced as she laid her cold hands in the back of his neck. And a few seconds later she had found just the right spot to tickle him. He gasped with laughter and let her down again to escape her fingers. Becca however didn’t even think of letting go of him. She clung to him and it barely mattered that she couldn’t reach up to the spots she had found earlier. Just seconds later, she had found the ticklish parts of his belly and she grinned because the effect was even better than it had been before.
Clark didn’t know how it happened exactly, but a moment later, he was lying in the snow. Becca sat on him and searched frantically for a yet undetected ticklish spot. When she found that she wasn’t successful, she grabbed another handful of snow and it landed on his chest.
“Who is whose prisoner?” she asked and grabbed his hands to press them against the ground.
“Okay, okay, I’m the prisoner, pumpkin,” Clark gave in.
His retreat was a little too quickly for Becca not to notice that something was going on. She knew that he enjoyed their little fights and only stopped them when she was visibly out of breath. He had been rather calm all morning and her mentioning of their trip had taken him by surprise. Well, maybe surprise wasn’t really explaining it. It was more like he had forgotten about it. He eventually would have remembered, but nonetheless all this had Becca convinced that he was bothered by something.
“Daddy, something is on your mind. You can tell me,” Becca said suddenly and let go of him.
Clark looked into his daughter’s eyes. She glanced back at him, seriously, in a way that made him almost laugh. But the short burst of joy was stopped before it made its way to his mouth. He realized that he wasn’t prepared for this kind of conversation. But he had to do it now, knowing that he couldn’t escape this moment forever. *Pull yourself together*, Clark admonished himself.
“Becca, I’ve told Lois that I am Superman,” he started with what was probably the easiest part of the issue. “I felt she had to know. She won’t tell anyone, I’m absolutely certain we can trust her.”
Becca stared at him with huge brown eyes. “I thought this was our secret.” She sounded shocked, disappointed and reproachful. She got up and stepped away from him, allowing Clark to get on his feet as well. The happiness from their earlier playful fight had completely vanished from her expression. Her glance seemed to accuse Clark of having betrayed her, which wasn’t true. Clark already felt like dying, but he was well aware that this was only the first step on a stony way. The rest would be far more difficult to go.
“I never said this was our secret, Becky,” he replied slowly and kneeled down in front of her, so that she was able to look into his eyes easily. “Be sure that I carefully decided whom to tell. And I won’t tell anyone else. There are several reasons why I decided that Lois had to know, pumpkin.” He swallowed hard. This was so simple and yet so impossible to explain.
“You didn’t even tell me!” Becca complained angrily and turned away from Clark. He held her back gently and made her face him; at least the major parts of her body. She didn’t look at him though, her head stubbornly turned away as far as humanly possible. Her whole stance was clearly expressing how hurt she was, how deeply he had disappointed her. Her lips shaped into a very offended pout. Becca knew that this could break her father’s heart, but she didn’t really care.
“That was a bad mistake, Becky and I know that now. You were only five years old and I didn’t know how to make you understand. This wasn’t easy for me. And I definitely didn’t take telling Lois easily. But there is more you have to know,” Clark said, trying not to sound too uncomfortable. “I like Lois, very much. I… I’m in love with her.”
“No,” Becca whispered. “No! You can’t love her. You love me! Me!”
Never had Clark seen her so horror-stricken, not even when he had last told her that they would have to move again. And she certainly had taken learning about his strange powers a lot better than this. Her lips were trembling; salty tears were running down her cheeks. Her face was pale and her eyes were widely opened. She pulled away from him, easily so, since he didn’t want to hurt her physically when he had already been so cruel to her otherwise. The insistent, yet desperate sound of her voice was stabbing into his heart like a knife. The disappointed glance of her eyes felt like she was turning that knife around in his already bleeding wound.
“Becca, but this doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore. I love you and that will never change.” Clark sighed helplessly as he noticed that she wouldn’t understand this, not now, not in this moment of deep hurt. “I’ll be there for you, always.”
The look she shot him was clear evidence that she didn’t believe him. Instead, she winced at his words, shaking her head as even more tears ran down her cheek. Each of them touched Clark. His heart tightened and he felt almost unable to breathe. *Just tell her that you will give up on Lois* a tiny voice in his head pleaded for mercy as he watched Becca. But the mere idea of letting go of this fascinating and lovable woman was almost just as painful.
“But I’m not your daughter, you could leave me. You don’t need to care for me!” she cried helplessly, her voice sounding accusing as if she was speaking about a given fact. As if this was something that was irrevocably going to come now that Lois had stepped into their lives. Clark swept her in his arms, shocked by her statement.
“Don’t ever think that, Becky. Don’t you ever think that! I am your father and that will never change, no matter what Child Services or anyone else says. I’m your dad and you’re my girl.” Clark held her tightly, feeling the sobs that shook her body violently. “This won’t change because I have feelings for Lois. I love both of you, with all my heart. What makes you think that it would matter to me that you have another father?” he asked softly, pressing her against him firmly.
“A girl in school told me that her dad left their family, ‘cause she wasn’t really his daughter,” Becca muttered against his chest.
“You really are my daughter, honey. We might not be related, but that doesn’t matter to me. You are my daughter in all the ways that count. That will not change because of Lois,” he reassured her.
“Will… you… marry Lois?” Becca asked between sobs.
“I don’t know, Becky, honey. Maybe,” Clark replied softly and wiped away her tears. “But this will need time. Lois and I need to find out if we really want to live with each other. Real life is not like what you read in fairy tales. When real princes meet their princesses, they don’t always know right away that they will live together happily ever after. They have to get to know each other. I don’t know everything about Lois and she doesn’t know about me. Maybe we fit together perfectly and maybe we don’t. I want to find out. I didn’t want to confront you with the accomplished facts. I’m in love with Lois, so we might kiss and embrace each other. That’s the reason I’m telling you, Becca. Whatever it is that will happen in the future, you are my little girl. I promised your mommy that I would take care of you and love you like you were my own child. And I do. Nothing is ever going to change that.”
Becca nodded slowly. Clark could tell that she was still struggling with her fate. She began to realize that Lois was far from becoming her stepmother, yet closer than she had been before.
“If you and Lois get married, will I have to call her Mom?” Becca wanted to know.
“You don’t have to, honey. That is your decision. You can call her whatever you want to, though…” he made a pause, looked into her eyes, and harrumphed before he continued. “…personally I’d prefer if you give her nice names.”
Becca managed a weak smile. “Okay, Daddy. I’ll try.”
“You know you can come to me, whatever it is that is on your mind. If there ever is a problem, don’t be afraid to be honest with me, pumpkin. I will listen. And if I refuse to listen, then remind me of today.” Clark said.
“Promise?” Becca pleaded, her teeth chattering.
“Scout’s honor!” Clark replied and held two fingers up into the air to emphasize his words. “You look like you’re cold, Becca.” He shot another beam of heat vision at her and drew her close again. “I want you to give Lois a chance and I won’t ask anything more than this. I completely understand that this is difficult for you. You and me, we have been pretty much on our own over the past years. It will mean some changes in our lives and that is never easy.”
Clark got up again and a rough wind blew in their faces, carrying some loose fresh snow with it. He placed himself in front of Becca to protect her a little. She looked up at him, grateful.
“I don’t have to be happy about it, do I?” Becca asked.
Clark chuckled. “No, you don’t.” He brushed a strand of her hair back under her cap and smiled at her. “I bet you’re hungry. Let’s find a place that is a little less windy and have some breakfast.”
to be continued...
