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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864
Merriwether
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OP
Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864 |
What can I say, Mary? It was not what I was expecting. The angst was very real for me, especially as I assumed it was Dr. Klein speaking.
But Dr. Friskin? My mind didn't go there.
Elisabeth
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 99
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 99 |
Lol, yeah. From the tone of the story I knew that it wasn't going to be Dr. Klein telling Superman that he couldn't have kids, but I still thought it was Dr. Klein, and that he was going to tell Superman something else.
I didn't think of Dr. Friskin either.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 509
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 509 |
me neither, wow, I didnt see that coming.
Karla
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166 |
Schizophrenia. Speaking as a former psych nurse, that would be a devastating diagnosis to hear.
~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,060 Likes: 20
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,060 Likes: 20 |
Originally posted by Classicalla: Schizophrenia.
D'oh! Thanks.  (Off to edit, now.) And thanks for the FDK, everyone! 
~•~
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864
Merriwether
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OP
Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864 |
Perhaps if the story had continued for just a few minutes longer, giving Clark a chance to respond with his own feelings, there wouldn't be such confusion over what you intended to write.
When you said you were writing angst, I took you at your word. However, if you hadn't mentioned it, I might have thought to myself, "Is this a joke? I don't get it," only because the conclusion felt more like a punch-line than a cliff-hanger.
I entitled my feedback that you were so bad, because you let us believe you were headed one direction and you actually took us another. But I suppose it could make it sound like I, too, was joking around with you.
Anyway, I appreciate the conversations that your story has started and hope you realize that your writing was excellant.
Elisabeth
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662 |
That was great angst with just a hint of comedy in the redirection tactic you used. For some reason this made me think of Identity Crisis.
Edit: after reading the other comment folder dealing with how to use certain topics like mental illnesses, I want to clarify that the humor I found was not in the final diagnosis, but in how the author set you up to be thinking it was one thing and then have it be completely something else. Kind of like the stories that talk about a "he and she" and make you think it's LnC when eithere one or the other or both is not involved.
I think, therefore, I get bananas.
When in doubt, think about time travel conundrums. You'll confuse yourself so you can forget what you were in doubt about.
What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence?
I don't know and I don't care one way or the other.
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,437
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,437 |
Wow, that was a punch to the gut. Great story.
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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