Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Woman in the Mirror Prologue

Hasini emailed me thinking she might not get feedback. Well, I can't leave real feedback right this minute, but let me tell the rest of you that as one of her betas, she's been hiding her talent. Her writing is wonderful!!!

Wow! Ye of little confidence! Great setup! I can see this like the teaser of a TV show. Keep writing and believe in yourself! I'm already hooked.

A short dramatic teaser. Nicely done.

I'm not fond of kids in stories and hope they are only for set decoration. The story of the what and the whys of Lois mystery meeting should provide the gentle readers with more than enough fodder.

That, and the promised coma-induced memory loss.

Looking forward to seeing where this will go.

Tank (who does have to say that he was disappointed that your description mentioned a Lois with 'long' black hair... hopefully that can be corrected soon)

Very nice beginning. Lois is in trouble (again), Clark is out looking for her (again), and her daughter either has some kind of link with her or she's very, very smart and has figured out that something's very wrong. It makes me wonder who Archer is and why he and Lois have this highly adversarial relationship. Who is the dead woman, and why was she killed? What does it have to do with Ash, or with the attempt on Lois, or maybe with her kids?

I'm going to read the next part, whether there are children or long hair styles or whatever! You have a good hook going.

Well, would you look at that? Reviews!

Take that, Karma!

Thanks for the vote of confidence Nancy! And for starting the thread.

Chaabreh, Tank and Terry - REALLY glad you liked it. I'm going for different genres at once, see (WHAMs and WAFFs in equal measure). So I'm afraid there WILL be a lot of family, Tank, but a lot of action too. In many cases, both simultaneously. *grins at Nancy conspiratorially*

Your hair cut comment was strangely ironic, Tank. I'd written this part long ago, and had finished a couple more parts when I realized Lois would need to take a good long look at herself in the mirror at some point. And I'd missed out on a "what did I do to my hair?!" moment by having given her long hair in the prologue. I knew you'd have loved it, but I'd promised myself not to meddle with finished chapters anymore, else it would drive me crazy.

Anyway, so long, and thanks for all the FDK! *waves fin* Look for an update same time, next week!

And you thought you wouldn't get any feedback! This beginning was wonderful! It made me want to go immediately read the rest of the fic and figure out what the heck was going to happen to these people. I read the "teaser" you posted before and I must say, I'm estatic you decided to write it! It looks really promising so far. Plus, I happen to love some doses of angst and waffyness throughout one story. Keeps it from getting boring/depressing. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to reading more!

Laura

Yeah, this was WOW! I'm biting my nails and want to know how this is going on! Please come back soon and stop thinking that yo can't write. 'cause you can!

Great beginning!

Hmmm... why do I get the feeling that this may perhaps be directed at me? Becasue, well, a lot of violence is not my cup of Earl Grey, no....

But, Hasini, I'm so glad to see you post your first story. The very first time you posted a comment on these boards, I marvelled at your command at the English language. Wait, that didn't come out right. Okay, I guessed that you, like me, might not be a native English speaker, since you are from Sri Lanka. But what I marvelled at was not your ability to write grammatically correct English, but rather your linguistic playfulness, elegance and daring. In view of that, you really, really must write stories of your own!

I, too, like the beginning of this story. Unlike Tank, I like the family setting. I don't like a lot of violence, no... so I may not comment on every part of this. But it's great to see you post your first story here, Hasini!

Ann

Ann’s reviewed! Yay! Now I know I’ve really posted. I consider Ann’s review to be a validation of any posting of any fic on the boards.

Did that sentence make sense? Man, I need to get some shut eye!

Anywho, Laura and Barbara, thank you soo much for the glowing reviews! There are few things more terriying than first-time author jitters! The first half of chapter one will be up next Saturday night. Saturday morning for you, I suppose. Hope that’s soon enough for you!

Ann, actually, I hadn’t meant that warning for you. I don’t think this story will have any more violence than Faustian, or Rage. You stuck out Faustian well enough, so I didn’t think you’d mind a little action over much.

Thank you so much for your compliments! Although, I’ve never really thought of English as my second language. In fact, I’m more fluent in English than my mother tongue, Singhalese. That is to say, I’ve always got A grades for Singhalese, in school, but A+ for English. So the language is not the problem, really. I’m used to writing essays, but fiction was a whole new area.

Hope you’ll like the rest of the story as well, Ann!

You guys are all wonderful!

*drops dead of sleep-deprivation*

Hasini.
I just wanted to add my vocie too Ann's.
From your posts you have a very fascinating command of the english language, coupled with a humour that seems to fit the show like a glove.
If your writing is half as interesting as your feedback you do not need to worry.

This is your challenge fic? It definitely has potential even if stories need to be very good to do anything for me when they are set in the far future.

Hasini! You posted! YAY! So, so glad.

I love the transition between the scary opening and the kid's play and back to scary again. Such a great contrast.

Oh, I love this. In this one line you've explained in such an adorable, *innocent* way that Lois' personality hasn't changed by being a wife and mother. And, once again, the innocence contrasts nicely again the worry building in my gut that something is indeed wrong with Lois.

So Ash is obviously a very good friend of the Kents. Hmm. Just storing that for later reference.

Such wonderful and funny details, Hasini!

The scene between Lois and Archer is so tension-filled, it's wonderful. My stomach is all tied up in knots now.

More, please, soon!

Argh, I really should be working instead of posting, but I can't resist gushing. This promises to be an excellent fic, I think we're all in for a treat. I like this new older Lois and though I'm not much of a kid fan myself, I recognize that these kids play an integral role to the story and I look forward to seeing how they move the plot. They're really cute too . Anyway I take the chance to press her for more stuff as much as possible. I cannot wait for more!

alcyone

I really like the setup of this story. I read the plot bunny and can't wait to see how this all plays out.

And more FDK! *blissful*

Now quit loitering around here and get posting the next chapter of Shadowboxing!

FDK makes my day! (Hey, that rhymed!) *Waves pom-poms*

Oh, and a newcomer! Welcome eminMN, and thank you!

YAY! You posted!

I'm so happy you're writing. I've already said in the challenge folder I love this premise. Mystery, drama, WHAMs and WAFFs. Nice mix.

Saturday, huh? /me looks at calendar and sighs.

Andreia

So glad you posted, Hasini!

This is an awesome story. You set this up so well!

Can't wait to see more. I think we're all in for a great treat!!!

Jo

Ooooh, Hasini, shame on you for not writing sooner. You have a wonderful writing style.

Your disclaimer did not scare me off in the slightest. I'm not a big fan of "kid intensive" stories either, but you write them so well, that I find myself plenty able to read about them.

I'm not sure how much time I'll have over the next couple of weeks to provide fdk - but I'll do my best - even if it's just a one liner to say "great part". But do know that as I have time, I'll be reading.


Oh, and by the way, don't forget to change the "message icon" on your fic posts to the "blue arrow". I didn't even realize you had posted a story until I saw something about it somewhere else. Then I went to find it (and was looking for a blue arrow) and couldn't find it for a bit.

C-ya soon!

-- DJ

never mind

post deleted.