Well, I haven't posted anything in a while - been a bit busy with final exams.
Although, the main reason was that I thought of (what I think is) a great idea for a story and have been really unmotivated to write anything else. Except that this has been sitting around for a while, and had to be written first...
Plus I just realized that "text-only" format does not mean "no italics", so now I feel like a complete dork for using awkward <> brackets for people's thoughts instead of italics. That put me in a non-writing mood too, lol.
So yeah, I probably won't be updating my Identity Crisis series until I've written out (what I think is) my great idea.
This part of this series is probably not very good, since I just wanted to get it over with so I could start writing out (what I think is) my great idea. I guess it might not be too bad, though.
Description: Not even Superman can control all of the events around him, so Lois and Clark just have to deal with them as best as possible.
****
Lois Lane let out a contented sigh as she opened her eyes the first thing in the morning. The earliest rays of sunshine streamed through the glass window above the bed, warming up her and Clark’s face and shoulders. It was a beautiful day outside.
Looking up at her partner, she saw that he hadn’t woken up yet. Lois smiled to herself as she contemplated the sweet, *innocent* expression on his face. Oh well, too bad that couldn’t last much longer. After all, she was feeling a bit frisky.
Cuddling up closer to Clark, Lois gently rubbed his cheek with one of her hands as she cooed, “Honey, wake up! Jonathan won’t be up for a while yet…why don’t we have some *fun*?”
Clark mumbled incoherently to himself as he shifted against her. His eyes remained closed even as one of his arms snaked its way to her back. Sleepily, he said, “Mmm, sure babe. Let’s just make sure that Lois doesn’t find out about this…she’d totally kill me.”
Lois gaped open-mouthed in shock at her husband. Now just who and what was he dreaming about!? Oh, he was going to get it! If he would just drop a name…
She kissed him passionately as she melded herself to him, trying to get him to spill the beans. Sure enough, Clark immediately responded by reaching for her breasts with his free hand as he moaned, “Oh, Ultrawoman…you’re almost as good as my wife…”
Realizing what he had done, Lois yelped indignantly as she thumped him on the chest as hard as she could. “Clark, that was *not* funny!” she screeched
For his part, Clark burst out laughing as he opened his eyes. “That was *so* funny,” he argued as he repositioned himself on top of her, holding his face inches above her own. “Really, Lois, you are *too* easy sometimes. But anyways, that’s not important. Now where were we when I ‘woke up’…”
Mollified by his devastating smile, or perhaps just unable to maintain the pretense of hurt, Lois blushed as she matched his expression. However, just as things were about to get really good, Clark got *that* look in his eyes again…
“Oh no, not now. *Please* tell me you’re joking,” she moaned. Doing a quick double take, she added, “…you wouldn’t joke about *this*, would you?”
Grimacing, Clark stretched his face apologetically at Lois. “No, I’m afraid not, honey. But we’ll catch up on it later, won’t we?”
Lois sighed as she nodded her assent. “We will. But for now, go.”
****
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights that I have just read to you?”
The hit-and-run drivers cringed as they studiously avoided looking at Superman. Boy, for some reason he seemed really ticked off this morning. Luckily for them, the person that they had just rear-ended hadn’t been seriously injured.
After a few moments had passed with neither the driver nor the passenger saying anything, Clark demanded, “Well??”
The driver jumped nervously, while the passenger simply looked sullen. Finally mustering the courage to speak, the driver croaked, “Aw man, you used to be one of the *cool* cops, Superman.”
Clark’s eyes widened. “Are you saying that people have gotten off the hook before because I didn’t read them their rights?”
“Well no, but it was nice being arrested without having to put up with hearing that boring stuff all over again.”
“Uh, you do realize that you can waive your rights, don’t you?”
The driver blinked thoughtfully. “Hey, I forgot about that. Thanks man, I’ll spread the word!” he said brightly. “Uh, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but…is something wrong, Superman?”
The passenger, who had just been hanging his head and staring at the floor of the car up until this point, finally spoke up. “If you think he looks mad *now*, just wait till he finds out about those property tax increases we just approved on his neighborhood.”
As Clark raised his eyebrows, the driver asked, “Huh? What do you mean, Councilman Myers?”
Suddenly, Clark realized the significance of what was being said. His heart pounding in alarm, he anxiously waited for the police to arrive so that he could figure out what to do about this latest problem.
****
“I can’t believe that I never thought about this!” Clark moaned, raising his voice in frustration as he paced around the kitchen table.
“Oh, don’t worry, honey. We still have some time to figure this out, don’t we? I mean, the city isn’t going to finalize anything until at least some of the heat from the Myers scandal wears off, will they? I mean, you caught him with one of the mob’s couriers,” Lois said, trying to sound reassuring but not being too successful.
“I don’t understand. How can they just raise taxes like that?” their son Jonathan asked.
Clark calmed down a bit. “Well, like in most other places, property taxes here in Metropolis are based off of a percentage of home value. The problem is, they have it defined as *market value*, so if enough people are willing to pay a lot of money for houses in this neighborhood, their valuations will skyrocket, and so will the taxes!” he explained.
“I see. So what are we going to do?” Jonathan asked.
“What you mean to say is, ‘what is everyone else going to do’,” Lois corrected, quicker on the uptake.
Clark nodded. “Right. Wealthy tycoons are making huge offers for property here, because they want to have a place near *Superman’s house*! *Our* home value probably isn’t going to increase much, since it would destroy their investment if *Superman* moved away. I’m mostly just worried about our neighbors,” he said.
“So…are you going to tell them to stop making those kinds of offers?” Jonathan asked.
At that, Clark closed his eyes slowly in defeat. He sighed wordlessly.
“You can’t interfere in our neighbor’s business like that, can you,” Lois said softly. It was not a question.
“No. Most of them would probably be *glad* to sell for millions of dollars, and I can’t stand in their way like that. Not just so I can have ‘normal’ neighbors. I guess, the most that we can do is to try to get them to not raise the taxes along with the home valuations, so that at least they have a *choice*, and they aren’t just *forced* to sell by not being able to pay the bills,” Clark sighed.
Jonathan grimaced. “Pretty much everybody’s going to leave, aren’t they,” he stated.
“Yeah. And there’s not really anything that we can do about it, but make sure that they at least have a choice.”
****
“So, Mr. Lane, are you seeing the same thing happen in your neighborhood?” Clark asked on the telephone.
“Heh, are you kidding me? Anybody who might have been considering moving to this area has already changed his or her mind by now. It’s because of Ellen, you know,” Sam Lane responded matter-of-factly.
“No, seriously, Mr. Lane, I’m really worried that you two will wake up one day and suddenly find yourselves surrounded by strangers,” Clark persisted.
“I’m serious, too! Most people don’t even want to live near their *own* mother-in-law; you think they want to live next to *Superman’s* mother-in-law?”
Clark’s eyes widened as he raised his eyebrows. “Oh! I never even thought of it that way! Yeah, I suppose you guys are safe.”
“For sure. You know, between you and me, I think that Ellen is enjoying being the most feared woman in the world a bit *too* much.”
****
At MacPherson’s Pub
****
Ellen Lane walked into a bar for what must have been the fifth time in the last three days. Oh, she had quit drinking years ago; but now she had different reasons for being in such a place.
She wasted no time plopping herself down in one of the stools and yelling authoritatively, “Bartender! Get me a diet coke!”
“Yes, Ms. Lane.”
As the man on duty fetched her drink, Ellen craned her head slightly so that she could look at the neighboring stools, trying to make it appear as if she was still looking straight ahead. Sure enough, everyone who had been sitting in those seats had moved to the end of the counter. She smiled a smug, self-satisfied smile. Oh, this was too much fun.
Meanwhile, at the end of the bar, a chiseled man who must have weighed in at somewhere around 280 pounds was angrily demanding an explanation from his friends. “What’s this all about, guys? C’mon, that old lady can’t be *that* mean!”
He received incredulous responses from his friends, who had forced him to move to the end of the counter along with them.
“Jim, are you new here or something?”
“Dude, that’s *Superman’s mother-in-law*!”
“You know how *my* mother-in-law gives people a hard time? Well, Superman’s mother-in-law has gotta be about 1000 times worse!”
“There can’t *be* a meaner person in the whole world! Why, I heard that one time she…”
****
A couple of days later
****
“I’ll get it,” Clark called out as the doorbell rang.
He had a pretty good idea who was at the door; he had noticed the moving trucks pulling up to the Brown’s residence earlier in the day. Sure enough, when he opened the door, the owner of the house across the street on 349 Hyperion Avenue was standing in his doorway.
“So…I take it you’re moving then?” Clark asked.
“Yeah. Uh, please don’t take this the wrong way, Clark. It’s just that…ten million dollars is a lot of money. I’ll be able to send all three of my kids to college, like Tamara and I have always dreamed of,” Mr. Brown responded.
Clark nodded regretfully. “I understand. But…you’ll keep in touch?”
“Oh, we will!” his soon to be ex-neighbor said, brightening up. “I just wanted to let you know that, well, you and Lois have been great neighbors for all of these years.”
“You too. Good luck, Isaac. I’m glad to hear that you finally found a way to pay for your kids’ education.”
As Clark closed the door to step back inside, he mused that, although his family might end up living in a neighborhood of rich business tycoons and media moguls, at least some good had come out of it.
****
“Thanks for keeping an old grandma company, both of you. And I really appreciate your speaking out against the tax increase too, Mr. Kent,” an elderly woman croaked.
“It was nothing, Mrs. Higgins. Really,” Clark responded.
“Besides, it was kind of our fault that the city was going to raise them to begin with,” Lois added.
“Oh, don’t say that. I’m just glad that I’ll be able to stay – I don’t want money, and moving is no good for a tired old woman like me. I just want to live out the rest of my years here quietly; the kids can sell this place once I’m gone if they want,” Mrs. Higgins said.
“Well, Lois and I are really glad that you’re staying. And we’ll continue to visit.” Clark smiled.
****
As he cuddled in bed with Lois, Clark wondered aloud what the future would bring for their once-unassuming neighborhood.
“I just wish that more people had chosen to stay besides Mrs. Higgins,” Clark said with regret.
Lois sighed. “I guess even the most powerful man in the world can’t control everything around him. But maybe it won’t be so bad – we’ll just have to get used to new neighbors,” she said reassuringly.
“You’re right; maybe I’m just too focused on keeping everything exactly the way it was before everyone knew that I was Superman. Maybe ‘different’ won’t necessarily be ‘bad’.”
“Besides, you know that *I’m* not going anywhere,” Lois reminded him, “and don’t we have some work that we need to catch up on?”
“Oh, you *know* I haven’t forgotten about that…” Clark grinned as he reached for his ever-so-patient wife.
****
Early the next morning
****
“Mom! Dad! Guess what?” Jonathan exclaimed excitedly as he rapped on the master bedroom door.
Lois and Clark groaned tiredly as they were roused from their sleep.
“You know the family that’s moving in next door? Well, they’re installing an Olympic-sized swimming pool in their backyard!”
Seemingly ignorant of the fact that he had just woken up his parents, Jonathan continued, “Well, after it’s been decontaminated, Gene said that we’re welcome to use the pool whenever! Isn’t that great?”
Worn out and still half-asleep, Clark processed the information as best as he could. “Contaminating the gene pool? Yeah, it’s a lot of fun. Your mother thinks so, too,” he half spoke, half mumbled in response to his son’s query.
“Huh? What the heck are you talking- OH GEEZ, is that *all* adults ever think about??”
****
