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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587 |
Well, Pam, you know I love this story.  And ONLY a guy would fish the flowers back out!  Ooh, I like Anna's idea. Prequels! 
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 543
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 543 |
Great little story, Pam. Loved the way Lois realized Clark was Superman and just told him to fly them out of the building. (Okay that was Part 4, but I'm still catching up!)
And Pam, I think we actually have more in common in the way we look at our Lois and Clarks than you think. Like others, I appreciated their intelligent approach to each other.
gerry
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 106
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 106 |
Hey Pam... I love this story 
Is it a bird?" "Is it a plane?" "No, it's just a guy in tights and a cape!"
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 39
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 39 |
Great story, Pam; I've said a lot about this story, one way and another, but reading it again on the Boards inspires another burst of enthusiasm. If you've heard it before, you'll just have to take it again. :p Condensed List of ChiefPam's Lois&Clark and Literary Virtues  6. You always make a better story in your rewrites of episodes. 42. You make a Waff Waffier by means of an Aplot-a real achievement. 271. You have great insights and deliver them with a subtle force, like a touché not immediately felt, but lethal all the same. Others have mentioned some of these, but here again are some of great insights: When Lois was scared, she was quite capable of believing all sorts of things without regard for such mundane matters as evidence.
She'd certainly grabbed his attention when she'd asked if he hadn't liked the kiss. It wasn't just the question, but also the way she'd managed to combine sensual smugness with an unholy amusement.
Lois blinked. It had been strange, talking to Clark, knowing he was Superman. Talking to Superman, knowing he was Clark, was positively surreal.
The newsroom was fairly deserted, with no one paying attention, so it didn't take long to type up his report of the night's excitement. It seemed a little on the dull side, but he fixed that by giving himself an exclusive Superman quote. You can turn a phrase: And then everything fell into place, and out of all recognition.
"Oh, right. Um, hi, Superman. Can we go now?" You make repetition a delight that illumines. (Clark)…work himself into a nervous wreck./ Lois was a nervous wreck
Clark "I'm only back-up, remember?"/Lois "You're darned right. Now get back out there!" She pushed him back out... Your revelation came like raindrops in a pool. A single large crystalline drop comes before the shower: There was something different, though, something about his eyes... oh, of course; the last time he'd looked at her like that, he hadn't been wearing his glasses. Really, it was surprising how much the lack of them changed the look of his face. His hair had been tumbled forward, and he'd looked so serious, so intent... she sighed happily. She hadn't ever believed she could find someone who'd look at her like that, as if she were the most precious thing in the world. How exquisite that Lois sees that he loves her before she sees what that face without glasses means! Tiny drops come quickly until the drops become a wave Pam and her Lois ride it to land. It had been hard for her to choose between Clark and Superman, but she had done so, and she was happy with her choice. She didn't need wild fantasies about Clark leading some sort of double life... though she knew he was hiding some kind of big secret...
Feeling shaky, she looked up at Clark. He was looking steadily toward the pile of crates between them and Toni. With his glasses halfway down his nose. What sort of person sees better without glasses? After the best dream opening, you have the best awake ending: Then rational thought slipped away, as Lois surrendered to the pleasure of being cherished. thanks for a great story, claire
"Perfectionism spells paralysis." - Winston Churchill
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Pam WOW! I've just read the last two parts.  The revelation is wonderful. Just perfect in these circumstances!  Your characterizations are great.  Congratulations on a superbly written story! I thoroughly enjoyed it. Tricia 
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Posts: 2,217
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 411
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 411 |
I'm sorry I'm so late. I've been meaning to do this from part one, just never got around to it  This was so much fun!!!!! I think I'm going to follow Jose's example (a graemlin -or two, three.... is better than many of my words)  Cris
Cris
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Well, I'd like to reply to everyone individually, but with this embarrassment of riches, comments-wise I just don't think I can manage it  Just rest assured that every single reply was appreciated. A few bits I wanted to reply to: The revelation -- this was one of the main reasons I wrote this story. I wanted to set up a situation where Lois would be relieved not to have to choose between Clark and Superman. Of course, that required her to be seriously interested in Clark, and by the time she gets there in the series, she's got plenty of reasons to react badly... so this idea intersected very nicely with the "Hubris" universe. Clark's brunch preparations -- that was a case of transference, or something... I got to that part, and realized I had no idea what Clark should bring with him. So then it seemed logical that *Clark* wouldn't know, either. The chocolate kisses, btw, were a gift from Paul, when I was panicking about this on IRC. Thanks, Paul! Rewriting techniques -- I'm glad you guys enjoyed my twists... honestly though, I think I take such liberties with rewrites to avoid boring *myself* when I'm writing! :p Tank -- don't give up yet Luthor -- well, I considered wrapping him up "off-stage" -- maybe the cops would overhear him threatening Toni -- but I thought it would seem unsatisfying if L&C weren't working together to bring him down. Anything more involved, though, wouldn't have fit in this one. Why did I start this series at H? Um, because I was *not* planning on it becoming a series I just wanted some way to get "Hubris" into the title <g> and it worked with *H*G Wells. For almost all of the time writing this story, it was called "I've Got a Crush on Two." But while plotting out the second one, I decided a third one was probably called for, and then when I was brainstorming the third, I noticed that I already had "H" and "I" in sequence, so maybe it'd be fun to re-title this one and continue the sequence... I've already got a plotline for J, but the title's not definite yet -- and I have a really cool title for K, but I still have to come up with a plot to match Claire... this is why I love having you on my beta-reading team <g> Thanks *very* much to *everyone* who's commented, either here or earlier, or on IRC, or wherever... You guys are too kind, and your comments are greatly appreciated! PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Posts: 767
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767 |
Pam,
wonderful story - I loved it
sorry I'm late in posting
merry
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 454
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 454 |
I enjoyed this so much - I love your stories, Pam! I loved 'H for Hubris' and this rewrite is just marvelous. Sooo much better than the episode! I'm all for a sequel so I'm adding my plea to those of the other readers. And you know what will follow, don't you? Nag, nag, nag! Ursie
Lois: Well, I like my quirks. I think they make me unique.
Clark: You certainly are unique.
Clark: You're high maintenance, you know that?
Lois: But I'm worth it!
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