TOC Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JOURNAL ENTRY #4
EARLY JANUARY, 1994
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The group took the news about the asteroid pretty well. I also mentioned the other stuff, about what we were and weren't supposed to do, but it turned out that they already knew most of it. They had, after all, spoken to Wells before I'd joined up. So, we focused on the asteroid. What we would need to do, how we could prepare for it... I still wasn't quite ready to believe it all, but the others seemed to take it that if Wells said it was going to happen, it was going to happen.
Then, that afternoon, it happened. An unexpected solar eclipse. I didn't notice it myself, but Dudley, on monitor duty, called us together and pointed it out. It was an odd moment for me. Seeing solid proof that Wells knew what he was talking about was pretty jarring. Suddenly, I started to take our vague plans a little more seriously.
Superman took off the following morning. We listened in as he approached, impacted... and then disappeared. We'd known it was coming, but it was still a shock.
The next few nights, as we'd planned, I went out on patrol. Phillip watched the monitors, keeping in touch with us by radio. It wasn't so bad at first. People assumed Superman would recover and save the day. Every day he didn't show up, though, things got a little more chaotic. The first night or two, I went out with Dudley and Karen as backup. After that, though, things were so bad that we decided to keep the kids in the Fortress. Being invisible just wasn't protection enough.
I wasn't too happy about going out, myself, but I didn't need anyone to remind me that it was my job. The Steel Shadows had kept their promise. They'd fed me, given me a place to live, and kept my arms in good condition. It was time for me to hold up my end of the deal.
So, I went out into the night, sometimes visible, sometimes not. My training paid off, as did the immobilizing goo the kids had developed. I stopped muggers and looters, and saved people from other dangers. There was always someone out there who needed to be saved from something. I started to get an idea of what things must be like for Superman. I wondered what made him do it.
I got a clue to that puzzle on the fourth day. I hadn't really been paying too much attention during the days, since I was mostly on night duty. But the word "amnesia" caught my attention. Wells had told me Superman would have amnesia from the impact. But when I looked at the monitors, I saw that it was Clark Kent they were talking about.
I asked Aymee, who was taking her turn at the monitors, about it. She looked at me oddly, like she was wondering if I was joking or something. Then her face changed and became more guarded. I wasn't sure what to make of it.
"That's because Clark is Superman, silly!"
I nearly jumped. I'd forgotten Inez was there.
Aymee looked at her little sister furiously. "Inez! You're not supposed to tell anyone about that!"
Her eyes opened wide. "Even Uncle Tommy?"
Aymee looked at me, then back to her sister. "Well... Uhm..."
"Eh, it's okay," Dudley said, yawning. "He'd have found out soon enough, living here with us."
"Wait a second. You all knew this and you didn't tell me?"
"We found out when we set up the first camera rig," Dudley said defensively. "After we escaped from the orphanage. We haven't told anyone."
I considered pressing the issue, but then a new thought struck me. This was valuable information. When things settled down, I could use it. I could get... nothing, really. Except kicked out of my new home. For betraying the guy who'd just risked everything to save us all. The guy who was standing there, on the monitors in front of me, lost and confused, with no memory of who he was. I couldn't do it. I still wasn't sure how I felt about him, but I couldn't sell him out. It just wasn't right.
So, I said nothing. Instead, I just left the room, pleading fatigue. It wasn't far from the truth, really. I knew I'd need my rest if I was going to face another night like the last few. That night promised to be the worst of them all. The asteroid was due to hit the following afternoon. Tension had been building over the previous days, but everyone knew that if no one stopped the asteroid, that night would be the last before the end of the world. Despite Wells's reassurance, even I was scared.
When I got to the surface, however, I found that everything was quiet. Eerily so. After all that had happened that week, it seemed that people had better things to do on the last night of their respective lives than to loot and steal. I walked around the empty streets, trying to tell myself that I enjoyed the unique view of the city, that I wasn't lonely or scared.
I'd never felt like I'd needed anyone before, but standing out there, in the empty streets, knowing that the world could end the next day... It was spooky, to say the least. And the streets... they were empty because everyone else was huddled up with their loved ones. And there I was, alone but for the distant chatter from the comlink in my ear. But even that wasn't for me. Not really. They were talking to each other, mostly. Me? When it came down to it, I was just the hired muscle. They were... a family. I didn't matter. Or, at least, that's how it felt then, when I was out there.
Then, suddenly, something happened. A door creaked open. A priest dashed out of the church I'd been about to pass. He didn't spare me a glance, but just rushed by as if... as if it was the last night of his life. I watched him go, the only other soul I'd seen since I'd left the Fortress.
"Just my luck," said a voice behind me. "I have a spiritual crisis, and the priest I'm talking to suddenly finds Earth."
I turned around, cursing my stupidity. I'd been so focused on the priest that I hadn't even noticed that someone else had come out after him. She was wearing a formal but tight sleeveless black dress, a black lace prayer covering, and a lot of jewelry. It looked like she'd wanted to dress conservatively, but wasn't quite sure how.
As I came closer, I realized that she was older than she'd first appeared. Fortyish or so, but clearly in good shape. Physically, at least. It was also clear that she'd been crying. Inwardly, I groaned. I was no good with crying women. But there was no one else in sight. Even the priest was long gone.
I tried to find something to say, but soon realized I hadn't even understood what she'd said to me. "Finds Earth?"
She looked at me, startled, as if she hadn't really noticed I was there. She looked embarrassed for a second, but then just sort of shrugged. It was the last night on Earth. What did a little embarrassment matter? So, she started to speak. "Yeah. I was in the confessional. Making progress for the first time in... probably ever. He said something to me. He said... that what I want is reassurance that I'm not alone, that I'm loved for my soul. And it seemed so right. So true. I've been going to parties and having flings and just having a good time. But I've never really had anyone care about me because of who I am. I'm not even sure
I know who I am. So, I thanked him, and I told him he was right. That was exactly what I needed, what I'd never had. And I asked him... isn't there something you passionately want to experience, just once, before you die? ... And the next thing I know, the window slams shut and there are footsteps racing away. By the time I got out of the booth, he was gone."
It didn't seem right. But people didn't always do the right thing when it was the end of the world. If nothing else, the last few nights had taught me that. I tried to think of what to say. She was asking for a lot, and I didn't know what to tell her. But she'd also said something about parties and flings and not being happy with that. "So, yer looking to do something that counts, is that it?"
She blinked at that, though whether it was the question itself or just the reminder that I was there, I couldn't tell. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is."
"And what do you do? Other than go to parties?"
"I... write about parties."
I started at her. "That's yer job?"
She nodded. "I'm the gossip columnist. For the Daily Planet."
"Daily Planet...? You... Cat? Is that yer name?"
She was surprised by that, and not entirely happy. "Uhm... yes. You know my work?"
"Well... not exactly," I said, not wanting to admit that I recognized her from having spied on the Planet's newsroom. I needed something to distract her, I realized. A thought struck me. She wanted to do something that mattered. She worked at the Planet, with Clark Kent. Hadn't Wells said something about keeping an eye out for someone going through a crisis? "But... look. I may be able to help you."
"Uh-huh," she said, crossing her arms and giving me a look. "Your place or mine?" she asked sarcastically.
"No, really. I'm with this group. We kind of... look out for people. You could help us."
She stared at me, saying nothing.
I wasn't any good at this, I realized. I needed time. Come to think, so did she. I also needed to get away so I could deal with the voices that were suddenly shouting in my ear, courtesy of the comlink. "This asteroid thing... It's going to work out. Superman will save the day with..." It took me a second to remember what I'd heard. "Fourteen minutes to spare. Trust me. So, tonight... go home. Try to take it easy. Tomorrow night — and there will be a tomorrow night, I promise — if you still think you want to do some good, wait in the lobby of the Planet building and someone will meet you."
She stared at me a little longer, then nodded vaguely. There didn't seem to be anything more to say after that, so we just went our separate ways.
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