I loved this section. You spun a whole different light on the scenes, so when you quoted dialogue it didn't feel like the same scene. It did feel like it moved kind of fast toward the end, but since you've filled out everything else I can happily live with it.
Lois grabbed his arm and pulled him into the elevator growling. “Don’t push it, Kent. You are way out of your league.” When the doors closed she burst out laughing. “Clark, Martha would wash your mouth out with soap for that comment!”
Clark looked around the elevator. “I don’t see her anywhere. Do you? What was that all about anyway?”
“I have a reputation to maintain. I chew up newbie reporters and spit them out.”
Lovin' it!
Lois let the valet park her car. “If you get so much as a scratch on it, I’ll have your job.”
“Lois, he parks Porsches and Lamborghinis. He’s not going to scratch your aged Jeep,” Clark insisted.
“Aged!”
Lois disgustedly threw her purse on the floor and slammed the door. Clark’s head came up over the back of the couch. “Did you get the interview?”
“No. He managed me. I wasted three hours, and I let that, that- louse! kiss me, and I got nothing.”
This was just begging to have a rest of the scene. Don't gyp you're readers. I demand to know what happened here.
And that’s how she ended up tied to a support beam as the chemicals headed towards the drain where they would mix together causing an explosion that would end their lives. Clark had shown up, the door flying off its hinges- another mystery surrounding Clark Kent- but he hadn’t thought his “rescue” through and was tied up right beside her. Jimmy had been hit over the head and he was still unconscious. “I’m sorry Clark. I’m sure dying wasn’t on your to do list for today.”
“It’s still isn’t. Come on.”
“Wait a second! How did you. . .?”
“Look do you want me to stay here and explain it while we get blown up, or shall we get out of here?”
“Jimmy!”
“I’ve got him. Let’s get out of here.” They barely made it out of the building before it exploded. The force of the explosion carried them upwards and then dropped them in a mud puddle.
“Where, what happened?” mumbled Jimmy, beginning to come around.
“Look!” Clark pointed to the sky.
It was Antoinette Baines in her get-away helicopter. It suddenly burst into flames. “Guess she didn’t get away, after all.”
“Clark, I’ll bet they discover that explosion wasn’t an accident anymore than the one that landed us,” she held up her muddy dripping hands “here was.”
And another great scene cut short. More! More! I want more! And not just dialogue, either. I want the whole scene written out--since you've obviously displayed the talent to write it well.
Elisabeth
and don't want to compound that with feedback-giving time. But I am loving this story. You defanged Paul, but made Claude worse... potentially, anyway. It's great, too, the way Lois keeps getting glimpses and clues about Clark.