Lois struggled to emerge from the depths of slumber. Finally, she sat up. Big mistake. She clutched her aching head and moaned. Then she realized that she was not in her own bed. Where was she? She squinted one eye open to look around. Clark’s. “Clark?” she called.
Clark appeared in the doorway, with the oddest expression on his face, almost as if he wanted to be anywhere but here.
“Oh, Clark,” she moaned lying back down. “Thank you. I’m so sorry. This is the second time in the last six months you’ve had to take care of me. I don’t even remember drinking. Honestly, I really don’t drink like this very often.”
“You’re. . . not drunk, Lois.” Clark sounded very uncomfortable.
“Clark Kent, I think I know what a hangover feels like. Exactly how it felt when you had to put me to bed after that charity auction fiasco. My head is pounding, I’m nauseated, and don’t you have any curtains for those windows?”
“Lois, what’s the last thing you remember?”
“I was with Lex. He was acting really strangely. He fell asleep.”
“I don’t think I need to know that much detail, Lois!”
“In the chair, Clark.”
“Do you remember being at the Planet?”
“I remember hearing Elvis’ ‘Burning Love’ coming from Perry’s office. And I couldn’t get into the copier room. . .”
Clark looked even more uncomfortable. “Lois, I’m going to get you some coffee and aspirin for that headache. I’ll be right back.”
“Thanks, Clark.” She should get up and try to make herself look a little more presentable. If she looked half as bad as she felt. . . “Clark, what am I wearing?”
Clark came back in with coffee, aspirin, and a paper in hand. “Uh, I need to talk to you about that.” He handed her the coffee and aspirin. She took both eagerly and swallowed the aspirin. He slowly set the paper in front of her. What the- There were *hearts* where there should be “A’s” in the heading “Daily Planet”, and the title of the top news story was “Couple Reunited! Love Wins Out!” and some soppy story about a couple that met on a train thirty years ago and had now been reunited. It wasn’t that it was a bad story, as a human-interest story *not* on the front page, but the writing was so sloppy. How had Perry let this get through?
“How did this happen, Clark? Where was Perry?”
“Something happened, Lois. I’m not sure what. The entire newsroom just suddenly became sort of—lovesick, I guess.”
“The *entire* newsroom?”
Clark blushed. “Yes.”
“Even me?”
He got even redder. “Yes.”
“Oh, no,” she groaned. “What did I do?”
“You don’t remember?” Obviously, the last thing he wanted to do was give an accounting of her actions.
“No, I--. Oh, no, I didn’t really do the dance of the seven veils, did I?”
He nodded. “All seven.”
“What else?”
“Nothing, really. You were just very—affectionate.”
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, Clark. Was it just you or was there anyone else that I-”
“I think just me. Of course, you had dinner with Luthor last night. He showed up at the Planet to confirm your plans, but it didn’t look to me like you were- overly affectionate- towards him. No more than normal, anyway.”
“I’m so sorry, Clark. I’m so. . . ashamed. But, why you?” she had to try to rescue this situation if she could.
Clark shrugged.
“Wait a second! What about you?”
“Me?”
“Yes, you said the entire newsroom was affected. What did you do?”
“I-, I-, uh, Lana’s out of town, so I guess either it didn’t affect me or it just wore off.”
“And you weren’t attracted to anyone else?”
“No,” he said hesitantly. “Why?”
“Well, it seems to me that maybe we weren’t attracted to people that we would normally find attractive.” Things were starting to come back now; she could use this to her advantage and, if she could make him believe it, continue to keep her feelings for Clark a secret. “Like, why was Cat attracted to a balding copy guy? He is certainly the complete opposite of what she usually goes for- tall, dark, gorgeous, and most of all, successful. And Perry? Perry loves Alice. I can hardly believe that he could even find another woman attractive, but Rehalia? There are no similarities between her and Alice at all.”
“I see what you mean. You could be onto something here.”
“And instead of falling for Superman or Lex, I was infatuated with you,” she finished triumphantly. He was buying it!
He nodded, thoughtfully. “So, we still need to figure out what caused it. It seems to have, ah, worn off now, but was there a motive? Why the Daily Planet?”
“We need to back track and figure out when the affects started.”
“Well, we were in Perry’s office when the film crew came in to set up for that Exclusive perfume demonstration. We couldn’t get any work done, so I suggested we get some lunch-”
“After you and Jimmy sat on my desk and drooled over the models for two hours.”
“We didn’t drool.”
“You were drooling. Anyway we went to lunch. You had the steak sandwich with fries.”
“And you had the Chinese chicken salad. Then we came back to the Planet.”
“Nothing funny so far. But that’s when things start getting fuzzy for me.”
“We came back to the Planet. We came down from the elevator, and this demonstrator sprayed us with this perfume. It was awful.”
“Eau de Sweat Socks. I remember that now.”
“Right. So we both went back to our own desks. About an hour later, you. . .uh.”
“I what? This part I don’t remember.”
“You came on to me,” he said in a rush.
“So whatever happened, probably happened around lunch.”
“Right. So where do we start?”
“Let’s go back to where we had lunch and ask around and see if they had any complaints. Your steak sandwich looked good. I’m going to try that this time.”
Ten thirty was early for lunch, but since they had skipped breakfast, that wasn’t a problem. They casually questioned the servers, but didn’t get the feeling that anything unusual had gone on. Lois and Clark headed to the Planet. The newsroom was practically empty. Apparently, several had called in sick. Lois wondered if it was from hangover-like symptoms or embarrassment. Perry was beside himself. Rehalia and her husband were suing for sexual harassment and Alice had refused to let him in the house. Jimmy was grieving the loss of his model, not that he ever had her. He had a stack of pictures and he was showing them to anyone that would give him the time of day. Lois wondered if this “love potion” whatever it was had completely worn off for Jimmy. Clark, of course, took pity on him and listened to him as he explained each photo. Then Clark stopped him. “Hey, Jimmy, can I have this one?”
“Why do you want a picture of my April?”
“Actually, Lois, Perry, and I are in the background, and it’s not a bad shot. I might want to blow it up. Do you still have the original?”
“Sure, Clark. I’ll e-mail it right over to you.” At least Clark had distracted him.
“What’s with the photo?” Lois asked Clark as Jimmy hurried over to his desk.
“It’s taken right when we came out of the elevator after lunch. I thought there might be some clues in the background.”
“That’s a great idea, Clark.” They both hurried over to Clark’s desk.
“Coming your way, CK,” Jimmy called over the newsroom.
Clark brought the picture up on his computer and enlarged it.
“Clark, who’s that?” Lois pointed.
Clark looked over the top of his glasses at the picture. “I don’t know, but the perfume bottle in her hand is not anything like the one Exclusive is marketed in.”
“So what was she doing here?”
Jimmy was now standing behind them. Clark turned to him, “Jimmy, go down to the news stand and pick me up some of the glamour magazines.”
“Sure thing, CK.” Clark turned back to Lois.
“Let’s see if we can figure out who this is.”
Clark quickly found Miranda’s picture in the magazines. An Internet search gave them the location of her business, which was located in Metropolis. Having been embarrassed by her actions, Lois left tact at the door and immediately began quizzing Miranda on the perfume, which Miranda said she called “Revenge” but refused to reveal anything about the formula or the long-term affects of the perfume.
“Well, she’s not going to say anything,” grumbled Lois to Clark as they left.
“She doesn’t need to,” Clark said pulling a bottle out of his pocket and dangling it in front of her.
“You didn’t!”
“Well, it’s like you said Lois, this stuff is dangerous. People acting on impulses with no thought of the consequences. . .”
“I’m so proud! I must be rubbing off on you.”
“Let’s get this stuff to STAR Labs and see what they can tell us.”
Throughout the day, Lois remembered more of her actions while under the influence of the pheromone. She could hardly believe that she had acted like that! It was a good thing Clark wasn’t attracted to her and was such a gentleman—wasn’t it? Her head said emphatically “yes”, but her heart wished that he had been attracted to her too. Maybe then her fantasies would be memories. And the only thing she would have regretted was knowing that he would have regretted it when he recovered from the musk. Amazingly, while she had told Clark he looked like Superman, she hadn’t revealed that she knew that he was Superman. Was that because she had buried that secret so far down that even the pheromones didn’t reveal it or was it because she wasn’t attracted to Superman as Superman, the guy who flies and saves people? As she had told Lex, her heart did beat for only one man. He happened to also be Superman, but it was Clark Kent that she loved. She shook her head. That would keep her therapist busy for a while—if she could have talked about this with her.
Speaking of Lex, he had acted so strangely. At first she thought he was drunk, but he denied drinking before she arrived, and he hadn’t drank that much while she was there. Had he been sprayed with the pheromone when he visited her at the Planet? Lois didn’t like Lex, but she wanted to see how far he would take their “relationship”. The interview of a lifetime really wasn’t a good excuse anymore, because it was very obvious that Lex Luthor did not intend to give her one. But it did her ego a world of good to be seen on the arm of the third richest man in the world. Lex had never asked for more than a little of her time and a few platonic kisses, so she didn’t see any harm in it, and maybe he would eventually let something slip, she justified to herself.
STAR Labs confirmed that the perfume removed inhibitions, although it was clothed in more scientific terms. They were poring over the report when Lex came into the newsroom. Twice in one week! This had to be a first. He made a beeline for Lois’ desk.
“My darling! I was aching to see you again.” His usual platonic kiss on her cheek landed on her lips and it was not platonic. Lois pushed him away gently.
“Lex! What a surprise. I didn’t expect to see you today.”
“I couldn’t stand another minute without seeing you.”
“Lex, I think you’ve been exposed to a pheromone. You should go home and sleep it off.”
“Are you coming?” Actually, it wasn’t said with a leer, but with a tender, loving, longing look.
“No, Lex. I have to work. We have to figure out why a lady named Miranda sprayed the newsroom with pheromones.”
“Miranda? She wants me to love her, Lois. But I love only you.”
“Lex, you know Miranda?”
“No longer, my love.”
“Do you know anything about the pheromones?”
“She said she would have her revenge on all of Metropolis. But I had to reject her Lois!”
“Of course you did, Lex,” she assured him. Over his head she met Clark’s gaze and she rolled her eyes.
“Lex, what did Miranda mean about having revenge on Metropolis?”
Lex shook his head and the glazed look in his eyes seemed to clear. “Superman! I need to contact Superman.”
“Why?”
“I think Miranda is going to release the 100% solution on all of Metropolis by spraying it in place of the Malathion that the city intends to spray today.”
“Malathion?” she questioned.
“For the fruit flies,” Clark cut in. “Perry assigned the story to me before all of this started. I didn’t get very far, but I did learn that the city was going to spray a chemical to kill the fruit flies that have been plaguing the city. The spraying starts today at 1:00.”
“Clark! That’s only an hour from now. You stop her. I’m going to make sure that Lex gets home alright.”
Lex’s glazed look was back. “She sprayed me with it Lois. One hundred percent. I’ll always love you, Lois.”
“Lex,” Lois was getting exasperated now. “Where’s Nigel?”
“Why do we need Nigel?”
“You need to sleep this off. Come on, Lex. I’m sure Nigel is waiting downstairs in the limo.
Clark laughed as Lex followed after Lois like a friendly puppy.
*****
Superman saved the day. He exposed Miranda to her own solution and talked her into bringing the plane back to the airport. Clark arrived just in time to get the story. Lois snorted, but she did not begrudge him the story. If she had acted half as bad as Lex was behaving, he deserved it.
STAR Labs conclusive report stated that the solution used in the newsroom was temporary, but that tests on the hundred percent solution were inconclusive, though it was supposed that the affects could possibly be long term in some species.
*****
She just needed to get away for a little while. Lex had recovered somewhat from his exposure to the pheromone. He could carry on a sensible conversation but at times he still waxed eloquent concerning her face or hands, or last night, her body. She didn’t want to hear it, not from him. She was feeling the strain of working close to Clark every day and constantly having to monitor her actions and reactions. Perry had kept his word to only pair them on big stories, but Clark was still there. And since there hadn’t been any big stories, no need to dangle above the jaws of death, she had also not seen him as Superman. He was still seeing Lana. He had asked her about double dating with them one Friday night, but she wasn’t sure who to double date with. Lex preferred to dine in his own home, and she wasn’t seeing anyone else right now. Not that her “relationship” with Lex was exclusive, just that since Clark had come to Metropolis, she had not met anyone she liked enough to ask on a date and no one had asked her either.
She softened her refusal with a promise that the three of them would get together for a casual lunch “sometime”. Yes, it was all just weighing her down. And that was why she made herself reservations at the Lexor Hotel for the weekend. She wanted to be waited on, pamper herself, and just forget for a little while. She had intended to get a suite, but the receptionist had talked her into the much larger, more opulent honeymoon suite. Since the suites were all previously reserved, she could get the honeymoon suite for the same price. She had already gone shopping for a comfortable, yet sexy nightgown, chocolate, some good reading, chocolate, a few DVDs that she could watch on the large screen TV, chocolate, snacks, and oh, did she mention, chocolate? Calories were off topic and not to be thought of.
So that was why Lois was turning off her computer at 4:59 and getting ready to head out the door. She pulled her overnight bag out from under her desk and began to head for the elevators.
“Going somewhere, Lois?” asked Clark as she passed his desk. Perry, Jimmy, and Cat were also at Clark’s desk. Rats. She should have figured out some other way to get to the stairs. Too bad she couldn’t fly or float like *some* people. Her hesitation to answer had been noted and now four pairs of eyes were regarding her curiously
“Yes, I am,” she answered reluctantly.
“Where?” asked Clark.
“Not to be rude, Clark, but I don’t answer to you.”
Clark got that “ah-hah” look on his face. “You’ve got a scoop.”
“I do not have a scoop.”
Jimmy shook his head, “Yeah, you do. I’ve seen that look in your eyes before. It's the revolution in South America, isn't it?”
“What look?” asked Lois
Cat ignored her, “Bet it’s the riots in Miami.”
“Five bucks?” offered Jimmy.
“You’re on,” Cat accepted.
“Lois, if you’re taking a trip, you know I need to clear it with the budget office first,” scolded Perry.
“I am not taking a trip!”
“Then what’s with the bag?” asked Clark.
“Not that it is the business of any of yours, but I do have a personal life.”
“You’re spending the night with Lex!” squealed Cat.
“I am not! And if I were, I wouldn’t advertise it. Look, if you must know, I am on my way to check into the Lexor Hotel for a weekend of pure relaxation... period. No pressure, no deadlines, no riots.”
Perry looked askance at her. “Do you want to see my reservations?” she growled. She dug in her satchel and pulled out the confirmation, handing it to Perry. Clark read over his shoulder.
“The honeymoon suite?”
Lois grabbed the paper back from Perry. “Satisfied?”
“Lois Lane in the honeymoon suite,” said Cat thoughtfully.
“Stranger things have happened,” put in Jimmy. “Although, not lately. . .”
“Well, if you guys are through interrogating me, I’ll be going.” Lois spun on her heel, picking up her overnight bag again, and stalking out to meet the limousine she had ordered.
*****
The check in went unbelievably smoothly. Maybe that was because she was checking in at 5:45 in the afternoon, but the staff was very professional and by 6:15 she was alone in her suite with the promise of dinner to arrive in 15 minutes. She sank into the cushions of the couch. This was exactly what she had needed.
While eating her dinner, she flipped through the TV channels and, not finding anything on that she wanted to watch, removed one of the DVDs from her bag and put it in. It was a light-hearted romantic comedy, which was, thankfully, more comedy than romance. She had finished an entire bag of pretzels as she watched. For a moment she felt guilty, but she reminded herself that she had determined to forget calories this weekend.
After the movie, she decided to try out the tub. It was meant for two, so the tub was perfect to really sink down into. She tuned to the easy listening station, started the water, and added bubble bath. She sat her bag filled with snacks and reading materials at the side of the tub. She turned off the lights and left the room lit only by the faux candlelight from the battery-powered, wax pillar candle the hotel provided. She slipped off her robe and let it drop to the floor as she stepped into the steaming tub. She sank back against the headrest and sighed. She had to get one of these. If she ever had her own house, a whirlpool tub would be at the top of her list of things to buy. Her eyes closed as she let the churning water wash over her.
She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when her cell phone rang disturbing the peacefulness of the moment. She debated whether to answer it or not, but what if it was Bobby Bigmouth? Or her mom, or Lucy? Groaning, she reached for the phone in her satchel with dripping, soapy fingers.
“Yes?” she answered.
“Working hard, Lois?” Couldn’t she get away from him anywhere?
“No, Clark. I’m relaxing.”
“Yeah, right. How's the view?”
“The view? Actually, I haven’t looked out the window.” She had forgotten that the room boasted an impressive view of the Metropolis skyline. She looked over to the windows. “It’s wonderful. It's. . .”
She could see directly into the offices of the building next to her. The lights came on in one of the offices and three men entered. Two of the men exchanged packages and began to look through them. Lois reached back into her satchel to bring out her binoculars.
“Lois?”
“It’s wonderful.”
“Lois, are you okay?”
“Fine.” Lois set the binoculars on the edge of the tub and groped around in her satchel for her camera without taking her eyes off the men. Splash! There went her binoculars. Oh, well, it could have been her phone.
“What was that?”
Lois grunted as she tried to focus the camera and hang onto the phone at the same time.
“Lois?”
Where were her binoculars? She began fishing around in the water. She moaned as she found them and brought them up to her face. Water sloshed in the lenses.
“Sorry, Lois, you had intimated that you were going to be alone. I’ll just hang up now.”
“What! No, Clark. I’m in the Jacuzzi.”
“And you’re really taking the whole weekend off?”
“That’s right.” She sat the binoculars down and reached for the camera again.
“Well, congratulations, Lois. I didn’t think you had it in you.”
Suddenly, she was very frustrated trying to juggle the binoculars, camera, and phone. “I'm hanging up now, Clark. I'm going back to relaxing.” She hit “end”, and put the phone back in her satchel. Through the window she watched as one of the men pointed to a date on the wall calendar. The tall, thin one in the business suit shook his head. Lois thought she recognized him, but couldn’t place him. The short stocky one got right in his face and “Tall Ones” shoulders slumped as he nodded. “Stocky” looked triumphant and Lois watched as the men turned off the lights and exited the office. Throughout the scene she had kept her camera clicking. She had to get to the Planet first thing tomorrow and get these pictures blown up so she could figure out who these guys were.
*****
“Jimmy!” Lois called as she exited the elevator.
“Lois- you said you were taking the weekend off.”
“I am. I’m just taking a break from taking a break. Can you blow these up for me?” She handed him her camera.
“Sure. I’ll e-mail them to you and then get started on the prints.”
“Bring them into Perry’s office,” she said as she headed that way.
“Lois! Thought you were taking the weekend off?”
“Well, Perry, I intended to. And believe me, I am going to want my vacation day back if this ends up being a story. Jimmy’s getting some pictures off my camera for me. He’s going to bring in some blow-ups. See, last night while I was relaxing, I saw these three guys meeting. One of them looked really familiar to me. I’m hoping you’ll recognize him.”
“Well, I might, Lois. But that’s really more Cat’s department. She has a thing for names and faces. Cat!” he called before Lois could stop him.
“Perry!” protested Lois.
Cat slunk into the office. “Lois, back so soon. Did you get lonely?”
“No, I did not get lonely!”
“Cat, Lois has some pictures I want you to look at. Jimmy!”
“They’re coming Chief,” Jimmy called. “I’m just printing the last one.”
“Clark, you might as well come in and take a look as well.”
“Thank Chief. Why don’t you just invite the whole newsroom?” said Lois angrily.
“Now, Lois, if this is a story and it’s your weekend off. . .”
“It’s still *my* story, Perry!”
Jimmy entered with the prints and began to hang them on the tack board.
“That’s Congressman Harrington!” said Cat with surprise.
“I knew I knew who that was.” Lois looked closer. The envelope handed by Harrington to “Stocky” had "Top Secret" prominently displayed in red on the cover. The envelope “Stocky” was handing to the congressman had a few large bills exposed as Harrington held it open to check its contents.
“Ian Harrington is the Chairman of the House Defense Committee,” Perry stated.
“And the most sexy man in Washington,” put in Cat.
“Did you just hear that or is that a product of your personal ‘investigations’?” Lois asked.
Perry ignored them and pointed to “Stocky” and the big, silent one. “Who are these two goons?”
“I’m on it, Chief,” called Jimmy as he exited the room.
*****
Jimmy’s research didn’t turn up anything on the identity of the other two men, but he did find that the offices were rented by Apocalypse Consulting. Jimmy could find no bank accounts or transactions for the company. Apocalypse moved into the offices a couple months prior and paid off a five year lease on the offices in advance.
“Chief-” Lois began.
“Let me take a wild guess- you want the Daily Planet to put you up in the Honeymoon Suite until we figure out exactly what's going on in Apocalypse Consulting.”
“Exactly,” Lois confirmed.
“We're talking a major surveillance operation here.”
“Perry, this is major. A Washington VIP is selling-”
“*May* be,” emphasized Perry.
“*May* be selling highly classified information,” amended Lois.
Perry’s brow furrowed in thought. Lois held her breath. Finally he agreed, “Okay, you guys have got three nights.”
“Guys?” Lois queried.
“You and Clark.”
“Did you say Clark? This is my story!”
“I heard him say Clark,” the man in question said with a grin.
“He definitely said Clark,” put in Jimmy.
“Definitely,” confirmed Cat, and she didn’t look happy about it.
“Chief, I am not sharing that suite with Clark.”
“And just how are you going to manage 'round the clock surveillance’ all by yourself?”
“Well, I…well-” Lois stammered.
“Exactly,” said Perry. “Besides, your cover will be more believable if you check in as a couple.”
“It would be business, Lois. Strictly business,” comforted Clark.
“That's the deal, Lois. Take it or leave it.” Perry was putting his foot down. Lois’ shoulders slumped in defeat. This weekend would be the worst of her life. Not only was she not relaxing, not only was she not getting away from Clark, she would be spending the weekend in his company. Spending the weekend alone with him. In the honeymoon suite. Why me? she moaned to herself. Then she realized that her boss and colleagues were waiting for a response from her. “Just don't try anything funny, Kent,” she muttered.
*****
Lois sat in the bathroom stall, trying to calm herself and stem the flood of tears that threatened to fall. How could her plans have gotten so screwed up? She looked down at her left hand, now sporting a plain yellow gold band. Perry had pulled the rings out of the safe in his office. Apparently, reporters acting as husband and wife were not completely unheard in the Planet’s history. The ring was a little big, but she didn’t think it would slide off. She didn’t want to spend time with Clark right now. She just didn’t. She allowed herself to wallow for a few minutes, before squaring her shoulders and wiping her eyes. She was a professional. She could do this. And Perry better believe that when this story was over, she was going to finish her vacation.
*****
“I’m sorry, Lana.” Clark was talking on the phone as she went to his desk to let him know that the limousine Perry had hired was there.
“Yes, I know we had planned this evening some time ago, but something has come up.” Clark looked up at her.
“Limo’s here,” she mouthed.
He held up a finger, signaling that he would be one minute. “Lana, it’s my job. It’s part of being with me.”
As Lois walked away as fast she could without it appearing that way, she heard Clark say, “I know. I love you, too. Bye, Lana.” It was going to be a long weekend.
*****
She and Clark had goofed around with the bellboy as he had videotaped Clark pretending to struggle to carry Lois over the threshold. Lois’ lunge for the bellboy was not entirely faked. She did not appreciate his lecherous grin as he was probably imagining what would take place in the honeymoon suite this weekend. Clark caught her and prevented her from tearing the video camera from his hands. “She’s a little shy,” he explained.
“She’ll get over it,” the bellboy assured, wiggling his eyebrows at Clark.
Deciding not to risk inciting Lois’ wrath further, Clark tipped the bellboy and sent him out the door. Clark turned to Lois, “Let’s get that equipment Jimmy packed for us set up, so we can get the story, and go home.”
“I take it Lana was not thrilled to have her plans canceled.”
“Not one bit. She had to get the tickets well in advance, so she is pretty miffed with me right now.”
They worked together in companionable silence as they set up the equipment.
“What now?” Clark asked when they finished.
“Now we wait for them to show up.”
“And if they don’t?”
“Don't worry, they will. They made it real clear on the calendar.”
“So. . . what do you want to do until then.”
“Well, my plans have gone up in smoke, unless you want to watch Ivory Tower and eat chocolate until you’re sick?”
“Not particularly,” Clark said dryly.
“I didn’t think so. So I ran home and re-packed. I put in some games. How does “Old Maid” sound?”
*****
Nothing seemed to be happening and the conversations the microphone picked up were from inside the hotel and weren’t anything that she or Clark should listen in on. Lois yawned and stretched, “Okay. I'm going to bed. You've got first shift. Wake me when our friends across the way show up.”
Clark turned and looked at her, “Wait a minute. Aren't you forgetting something?”
“What?”
“Why do you get the bed?”
“Because it’s my story!”
Clark pulled a coin from his pocket. “So, we flip for the bed.”
“How about I get the bed, I lend you a pillow.”
“How about we alternate nights?” Oh, no, no. She was not going to have to pass Clark’s delicious sleeping body every time she had to get up and pee during the night. Since he didn’t seem to have that point of view concerning her, let him be the one that had to make the trip past the bed to bathroom.
“How about we don't?”
“It's a really big bed. We could share.” Say yes, her mind screamed at her, but she was afraid to be that close to him, under those circumstances. Why? It was what she wanted, wasn’t it? Figuring out her feelings was going to be more time on the couch with her therapist.
“How about we alternate nights?” she said quickly before she could change her mind.
Clark grinned at her. “Deal.”
*****
Lois was settling into the satin sheets when she heard Clark’s voice. “Goodnight, Lois.” She frowned and snuggled deeper into the bed. “Lois? Goodnight.” She was not going to answer him! This wasn’t a Walton’s Mountain episode. “Good Ni-i-i-i –ght, Lois.”
“Oh, good night, Clark,” she called with a huff.
*****
Clark awakened her with a shake. “They’re back.” Lois started to sit up and then remembered what she was wearing, or rather, wasn’t wearing.
“I’ll be just a sec.”
“Lois, what are you- didn’t you pack something to sleep in?” So he noticed!
“Clark, these are *satin* sheets. You can’t get the full effect if you’re wearing a lot of clothes.” There. Let him process that. It would serve him right if it gave him even a moment’s concern, for all the time that she had spent thinking about his naked body. Down, girl!
*****
She put on her pajama bottoms and an oversized sweatshirt. She shuffled into the living room, yawning. Clark was at the window, watching through her brand new binoculars. “Turn that up,” she said pointing to the microphone. Clark held the binoculars out to her. She took them and began to watch. The conversation just made her more confused. “Stocky” was talking about some sort of test and it looked like Harrington was trying to back out. “Stocky” grabbed the congressman by the collar and pushed him up against the wall. “Silent One” dragged “Stocky back. Harrington straightened up, and visibly drew himself together.
“Clark, what would you say if I said that I don't have a clue what they're talking about, but that, whatever it is, it's even bigger than I originally thought.”
“I'd say you're absolutely right.”
*****
Lois spent just a few seconds in front of the mirror checking her appearance before heading out to the living room. She didn’t want to look like she just crawled out of bed, but she didn’t want to look like she had spent a lot of time trying to look good either. Clark wasn’t on the sofa and she looked around for him. He was on the far side of the couch doing push-ups. So he does work out, she thought. She had wondered if he worked out or if his muscles were all a product of his special genetics. Before her evil mind could calculate the logistics of maneuvering her body between his and the floor, he caught sight of her and sat up.
“Good morning. Did you sleep well?”
“I slept okay. You?”
“I’ll sleep better when it’s my turn on the bed tonight.” He grinned at her. Then he stood. “I ordered breakfast.” As he finished speaking, a knock came at the door. “And there it is.”
*****
When they arrived at the Planet, Perry had been able to identify “Stocky” as Thaddeus Roarke. International arms dealer, electronic weapons system analyst, entrepreneur, and general bad boy.
“You’re right, Lois. This could be even bigger than we thought. Arms dealer bribing a House Defense Committee member.” Clark’s face was grim.
*****
Lois could not believe it. She was having a great time. She had thought that she wanted to get away from Clark. Instead, trapped with him in the honeymoon suite, she was spending time with him and remembering why she liked him so much. Sure, Clark was gorgeous, but it wasn’t his looks that attracted her to him, although they didn’t hurt. The amazing thing was that she was relaxing as they played through the collection of games she had brought. Clark shook his head as she crowed triumphantly about her Scrabble score. “There is no such word as chumpy, Lois”
“Of course there is. Somebody's a chump. Therefore, he's chumpy.”
“Try again.”
“Are you challenging me?”
“You bet your sweet chumpy I am.”
Lois laughed. It had been a long time since she felt this free and happy.
“Lois, you are the most competitive person I've ever met. What is it about you that makes you need to win all the time?”
“I don't need to win all the time.”
Now they were playing Trivial Pursuit. Clark had raided her stash of snacks and, turning his nose up at the chocolate, was busy eating the potato chips. As Clark held the card in his hand, she couldn’t help but notice how good the wedding ring looked on his finger. If only it was real, her heart longed. But she pushed the thought away. They were having such a good time and she wanted to keep it that way.
“What was the name of Eddie Murphy’s suave alter ego in the Nutty Professor?'
“Oooh, ooh, I know this one.”
“Tick Tock, Lois.”
“I know it!” she insisted.
“Time’s up! It was Buddy Love.”
“I knew that, Clark, you should have given me another second.”
“You're right, Lois. You don't need to win all the time.”
She threw a pillow at him. It was good to have her best friend back.
*****
In preparation for the hoped for evening activities, Lois and Clark were adding a scope to the camera on the tripod. Suddenly, Clark threw the tripod on the bed, covered it with the red satin sheet and threw her on the bed, coming to rest on top of her. Before she could form a conscious thought, his lips were on hers. Her body began to sing as his lips explored hers. Then he was gone. She lay there for a second with her eyes closed, before she opened them to see him looking down at her.
“Sorry. The maid. . .”
“It’s fine. You’re just lucky I was so surprised I didn’t try out any of my Tae Kwan Do moves on you. Doesn’t anybody knock around here? This *is* honeymoon suite.” Her body was once again tense, and her heart aching.
*****
They stood together watching the men in the office. They were temporarily shut out when Roarke closed the blinds in order to show Harrington a video. He said it was a computer model. A computer model of what? Then the blinds were opened again and Harrington was protesting “Millions of people.” As the three left the offices, the fax machine came to life. “It’s from Jimmy,” Clark called across the room. “I’m just going to go down to the store in the lobby for a minute. I’ll be right back.” He waved dismissively at her.
*****
She had seen the “Silent One” leave the key to the file cabinet in his jacket pocket and he had left his jacket in the office. She was pretty sure that she could get into the office and she had her pocket scanner with her. If she worked quickly, she might be able to get some information copied from the files before the men returned. She easily foiled the lock on the office door using her credit card, retrieved the key and opened the file drawer. She quickly located the file that the men had been looking through earlier and started scanning as fast as she could. She only had a few pages completed when she heard sounds of movement from the hall. She quickly returned everything to its place and hid in a closet. Hopefully, “Silent One” would not suddenly feel the need to hang his coat up in here. Then she heard a fire alarm ring and the sound of water falling. She could hear the men calling to each other as they hurried out the door. Thanking whatever gods had provided a way for her to escape, she covered her head with her hands and dashed through the shower. Minutes later she was barging through the door of the honeymoon suite. Clark was still sitting where she had left him, perusing the fax Jimmy had sent, but he looked up as she entered.
“Lois! What happened?” referring to her sopping wet state.
“I don't know! Did you see it?”
“See what?”
“Never mind, we can catch it on replay.” Lois moved to the video camera and hit rewind. “Here, watch this!” They fast-forwarded through the scene from earlier where Harrington and Roarke were arguing and Lois hit play. They watched on re-play as the three left the office, and then—nothing.
“Clark! When did this thing stop recording?”
“I guess I must have accidentally hit it when I saw the fax coming in. Sorry.”
“You’re gonna be. I’m going to take a warm shower, and, since you messed up the surveillance, I am pulling rank and taking the bed again tonight.” She flounced out of the living area into the bedroom.
“Good night, Lois,” Clark chuckled.
*****
“After last night's fire drill, Roarke and Bart drove to Pier 31 and went into a warehouse. They were still there this morning when I left to come back here. Warehouse leased to... Apocalypse Consulting,” Jimmy shared his adventures of last night.
“My source says that what we’re dealing with here is an experimental coastal defense network. A couple of years ago, the Navy began lobbying for their own version of a Star Wars system. Several proposals were made; the Navy picked Shock Wave. Roarke's system was runner-up,” shared Perry.
“And so Roarke is trying to get Harrington to reverse the vote,” Lois stated.
“Whose system is Shock Wave?” asked Clark.
“Luthor Technologies,” said Perry.
Luthor again! Were there no pies the man didn’t have his finger in?
*****
The beautiful suite had been ransacked. Shelves and knick-knacks overturned and broken. The seats of the couch had been slashed. Their surveillance equipment was twisted and smashed. Lois headed into the bedroom to check in there. She returned with a frown on her face. “Roarke knows we're on to him.”
“Worse than that, he's destroyed all our evidence that we hadn’t already taken to the Planet.”
“What about the offices?” Lois turned away, trying to look natural, but she knew that if he thought she wasn’t looking, he would be free to use his special vision.
Sure enough, he lowered his glasses, looking across to the newly abandoned offices. “I'll bet he's cleared them out as well.”
“Clark, we have to find him. That man is capable of anything.”
“How’d he find us anyway?” They both looked around until they spotted her credit card pinned to the door with a knife.
“I was wondering where that was. I’m sorry, Clark.”
“We’ll find him, Lois,” Clark assured her.
“We have to, Clark.”
*****
So why did she decide to investigate the warehouse by herself? Clark would have gone with her if she had asked. She should have at least told him. But she didn’t. And now she was tied next to Congressman Harrington, who was annoying her with his doomsday prophecies. She pulled and struggled against the ropes holding them, but she wasn’t making any progress. Clark came running up to them. Well, she might not have told him where she was going, but he knew her well enough to know where to look. That meant something didn’t it? Clark snapped the ropes, surprising her, since it was a display of his powers while dressed as Clark. He must think that she couldn’t see him. Harrington certainly didn’t. Clark nodded to him.
“Is he all right?”
“I think he's in shock. Oh, and he never meant for this to happen.”
“For what to happen?”
Now she could hear a rumble and looked in the direction Harrington was staring.
“That, I think. Clark!” A towering wall of water was rushing toward them. She was no expert, but even she could tell that that much water coming that fast would overtake a good portion of Metropolis, if not cover it completely.
Clark shoved her and Harrington in the opposite direction of the water. “Run!” he shouted. She didn’t look back. She had no idea how even Superman could deal with the mighty wave crashing towards them, but she wasn’t going to distract him by sticking around. She was going to run for her life!
When she finally stopped running, she turned to see the wave still heading towards them, but then suddenly folding to turn in on itself. The wall of water disappeared from sight. How had he done it? How had he known what to do? Clark never ceased to amaze her. It took more than powers to be Superman; he had to have an incredible knowledge of how the world around him worked. She shook her head in amazement.
*****
Lois was lounging in the quickly re-arranged bedroom of the honeymoon suite. She had to say the bed was as comfortable as ever. She looked over at the phone and couldn’t resist. She dialed Clark’s number before she could change her mind.
“Hello?” Clark answered.
“Good night, John Boy,” she teased.
“Lois?”
“You'll never guess where I am-- our former love nest.”
“The Honeymoon Suite?”
“Just the management's way of apologizing for any inconvenience suffered during our stay.”
“So how come you’re there? I was the one who never got to use the bed, even though it *was* my turn.”
“Hey, I was the one who got my weekend of relaxation interrupted by this story.”
Clark laughed. “Goodnight, Lois.”
“Good night, Clark.” She smiled as she hung up the phone. No, the weekend hadn’t gone entirely as she had planned. And it had not been relaxing by any means. But she had enjoyed spending time with Clark, playing games with him, talking, and remembering all the reasons why her foolish heart had chosen to love him.
*****
